Casual dating explained. Casual dating or a casual relationship is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have casual sex or a near-sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments of a more formal romantic relationship. Motives for casual relationships vary. There are significant gender and cultural differences in acceptance of and breadth of casual relationships,    as well as in regrets about action/inaction in those relationships.. Casual dating may be part-time, or for a limited time. It may or may not entail.
This may be a backward way to begin this article, but I have to say it: I’ve never actually been that great at casual dating.
I tend to let my feelings, carried on the wings of my very vivid imagination, get away from me almost immediately when I meet a guy I like. I can’t seem to tie said feelings down anywhere in between “no” and “ahhh omg so much yes!” I’ve come to decide that this is both good and bad.
On the one hand, I am a strong, confident woman, and I know what I want! On the other, I’m definitely not giving every potential partner a fair shot, and I’m giving guys who aren’t really right for me way too much of my heart too soon. The more I apply myself to truly “casual” dating, however, the better I’m getting. From working on my communication skills to understanding what I’m actually looking for in a partner, there’s a lot to learn from casual dating.
01. Open communication is the key to any relationship, no matter how casual. This is Relationship 101, but I think it bears repeating in the context of casual, non-serious, non-exclusive relationships. When you’ve made up your mind to “explore,” let your dates know. Tell them you’re open to seeing where things go. Tell them you just got out of a long relationship. Whatever your truth is, don’t be shy about sharing it. Everyone involved will be better for it. 02. Things just won't stay casual if you’re only dating one person.
This is science, my friends. It is simply impossible to put a full stop on the feels if you’re seeing just one person. I know, I know—you’re light and breezy! Me too. So breezy. But we’re also human, you and I, and when all our romantic energy is directed at just one person (even when it’s “so low-key”) we will not be able to keep things casual forever. Exclusivity, by its very nature, is not casual.
Things like physical and emotional boundaries can help keep a relationship casual, but keeping more than one person in the mix will also keep feelings in check and remind you that you’re “out there” as much for yourself as for the people you might meet.
03. Be wary of your ‘type,’ especially if it's not working for you. Tall, dark and handsome is not exactly what I mean. You may find yourself drawn to blondes or tall guys or guys in leather jackets, but if you take stock of the guys you’ve dated you’ll probably find that they have more in common than their hair color or outerwear preferences.
Myself? I’m drawn to guys with a goofy sense of humor, favor being outdoors over hitting the gym and aren’t very emotionally available at the moment. I’m not a psychologist, but I’m self-aware enough to realize that there’s a reason I keep finding myself entangled in romantic situations that are, for lack of a more delicate term, “doomed from the start.” I want what I can’t have. I’m convinced I can be the exception to the rule. I bet you feel this way sometimes, too.
(These are exceedingly common threads among the romantically challenged.) I can’t tell you exactly how to break the mold (hello, still single over here) except to say keep trying. Say yes to more second dates, keep a more open mind when and trying to meet more (and more diverse) people. The more you allow yourself to look inward with honesty and reflect upon your choices and the patterns you see, the better chance you have of knowing the person who is right for you with .
04. Just because he is not ‘the one’ doesn’t mean he is not important. I am the world’s biggest believer that every romantic paramour—however briefly they may stay—comes into your life for a reason. Some are there to remind you when you deserve more from a relationship than you’re getting.
Some will exist only to introduce you to your new favorite television series. Others may offer insightful career advice that changes the course of your life or travel with you to a country you never thought you’d see.
Maybe you just needed to feel a different person’s hand in yours. Even the casual guys that seem to drift in and out of your life as warm and brief as a summer weekend mean something. You might stay friends with some; some you may never speak to again after your second date. Just keep your mind open to the possibilities (and remember to ask them for podcast recommendations).
05. Your married friends do not know everything. And do not let them convince you otherwise. As well-meaning as they are, married people have an uncanny ability to come across as condescending when they’re aiming to be helpful and supportive.
(If one more person with a spouse asks me, “But have you tried online dating?” I swear I will scream.) It’s easy to let your mind go wild with “the grass is always greener” fantasies and convince yourself that marital status equates some kind of superiority. It’s easy to believe that if your friend is married, she must know something you don’t. She must have something you don’t.
She must be something you are not. Trust me, I’ve been down this rabbit hole a thousand times and the only place it leads is straight into an entire row of Oreos. There is so much to learn during your time as a single person, whether you embrace casual dating or not.
Your independence is that green grass. You will always know things that your friends who married young don’t know. (And vice versa, of course.) Feel grateful for the opportunities you have to meet new people, learn about yourself and experience some variety—it’s the spice of life, after all.
best casually dating an explained - Casual Dating Etiquette: What to Do and What to Avoid
We’re very fortunate to be living in a time where regardless of your interests or demographic, there’s an online dating website for you. However, trying to figure out where you fit in can be confusing. The first question you need to ask yourself is, “what am I looking for?” Most online dating sites are geared towards certain kinds of dating interactions. Marriage or relationship oriented dating: If you’re hoping to, look for a traditional online dating site that’s designed for this purpose.
eHarmony is a great place to start – after all, one of its bragging rights is that it’s responsible for over 600,000 marriages! Hook-up websites: If you’re looking for something that’s purely physical, that’s totally cool! This is where hook-up websites come in. Instead of wasting everyone’s time hanging around on traditional dating sites hoping you’ll get lucky, look for an adult oriented hook-up website that’s designed for singles looking for a no strings attached, casual encounter.
Trust me, there are plenty! Casual dating: If you’re not ready for a serious commitment but you’re interested in more than a random hookup, casual dating is for you. Whether you’re looking to get out there and meet more people or want a hot date for a party on Saturday night, there are a handful of really awesome online dating websites that can help you find exactly what you’re looking for.
Casual dating provides you with the without having to set an end goal of finding “the one” (however, sometimes casual dates do lead to more!) Here are a few of the best casual dating websites: 1. Plenty of Fish – As someone who’s used Plenty of Fish extensively, I can vouch for the fact that it’s a .
The name says it all: you will meet “plenty of fish.” I initially signed up for PoF when I moved to a new city and within 24 hours I was getting ready to go on my first date. Although you can definitely find a serious relationship on Plenty of Fish (my friend met her husband this way!), this site excels at casual dating. Unlike other sites that thrive on lots of bells and whistles, Plenty of Fish likes to keep things for it’s users, while still taking advantage of cutting edge, online dating technology.
Plenty of Fish is a great option for people who just want to cut to the chase and start “fishing”….err, dating. The profile pages are incredibly easy and straightforward to complete and there are no mandatory questionnaires.
You can search for local singles in the usual ways, however if you’re in a hurry, one click will deliver a list of age and location matches or a list of users online in your area. When it comes to providing matches, . Plenty of Fish will serve up potential matches based on your clicks and how you behave on the site, not just by what you say you’re interested in.
For example, say you’re looking for a 40+, professional with an average body type, but you click on hot, ripped 25 year olds – they will take this into account. In other words, PoF forces you to be honest with yourself- something that’s often needed when it comes to online dating! 2. Match.com – Although Match.com is known as being one of the more serious, relationship oriented online dating sites, it also has a lot going for it when it comes to casual dating. I like to think of Match.com as a “one stop shop.” Although you want to keep things casual right now, that may change in the future.
Match.com provides you with the , so that you don’t have to switch dating sites when your needs change. Plus, with one of the largest user bases, Match.com opens you up to a world of possibilities when it comes to meeting other singles. Not only does Match.com have one of the most advanced search functions out there (you can literally build your perfect match based on interests, looks and keywords), it also has some really cool features that will help make your dating experience fun and efficient.
Match’s “Like At First Sight” quiz is one of the more helpful online dating site quizzes as the results actually help the site ‘learn’ your preferences. This detailed picture-game personality quiz helps to define the features, looks, and interests to which you are attracted, so you can concentrate on what’s important: making connections and going on dates. 3. Zoosk – Liken yourself a social butterfly? With , you can’t go wrong with Zoosk.
Similar to Plenty of Fish, Zoosk provides free Behavioral Matchmaking™ which matches you with singles with whom you’re likely to discover mutually attraction based on your actual clicks and messages, helping you streamline your casual dating experience.
With cutting edge mobile technology, Zoosk is also a great site for people who want to connect with singles on the go. Casual dating often depends a lot on chemistry and physical attraction, which is why I’m a big fan of their Carousel app, which allows you to check out a gallery of singles in your immediate area and swipe left or right if you like them. If there’s a match, you’re immediately given the opportunity to connect via a free chat program.
Not to mention, Zoosk also connects to Facebook and several email programs, by “finding” people you already know. After all, maybe that hot date is that cute guy or girl you’ve already met! Causal dating doesn’t have to be hard (or weird) if you’re in the right place. Check out one or two of the aforementioned sites and start dating the way you’ve always envisioned.
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Have you ever wondered exactly what casual dating is? To some people it sounds glamorous and mysterious. To others it sounds like a polite term for sleeping around. In reality, many casual dating relationships have nothing to do with sex. Read on for casual dating tips... Casual dating is all about keeping your options open and playing the field so that you can figure out what type of person you are most compatible with. It is about having a good time and enjoying someone’s company, all the while keeping things light and easygoing.
There are no serious talks, no pressure to commit and (best of all) no messy breakups. Does it sound too good to be true? It isn’t! Here are eight rules of casual dating to help get you started. 1. Rack Up the Digits When you strike up a conversation with an attractive, interesting guy in a club, an elevator or even a supermarket aisle, go ahead and ask for his phone number. Casual dating means you can always be on the lookout for someone new, so that if or when things fizzle with one of your current guys you have a list of new potential dates to choose from.
Don’t be afraid! It gets easier with practice, and the worst he can say is no. 2. Experiment The reason you decided to pursue casual dating relationships was to find the guy who’s right for you, right?
But chances are there’s one “type” of guy that you always seem to find yourself attracted to – whether it’s the slick bad boy, the long-haired jokester or the buttoned-down prep. In the search for Mr. Right, make sure you don’t start typecasting. Experiment by dating guys with different looks, personalities and outlooks on life. You might just surprise yourself and find exactly what you’ve been looking for. At the very least, you’ll broaden your horizons and maybe even learn a thing or two.
3. Be Honest The number one rule in casual dating: Be clear about your intentions from the start. Before you even agree to accept a date, make sure he knows that you aren’t looking for anything serious.
Act like an English teacher and check for comprehension. Some people hear the words, “I’m not looking for a relationship,” and they think what you’re saying is, “I’m not looking for a relationship yet.” Your new man might think there’s hope to win you over, so you must be brutally, painfully (politely) obvious. Tell him that you’re still trying to figure out what kind of guy you’re looking for and it is going to be a very, very long time before you allow yourself to get into a serious relationship.
If he’s still interested, game on. If not, he can walk away; no harm, no foul. 4. Don’t Kiss and Tell If honesty is the number one rule of casual dating, then rule number two is all about discretion.
No one likes to hear about their competition, especially in the dating world. If you’re dating more than one guy at a time, keep the details about your other relationships on the down low. Discussing your other relationships will only spark jealousy.
5. Choose Your Stance on Sex Casual dating is not synonymous with casual sex. There are two schools of thought when it comes to casual dating and sex. The first is, if you are the type of person who can enjoy sex without the emotional attachments that typically go with it (think Samantha from Sex and the City), then a bedroom romp might be the natural end to a great night out. After all, casual dating is about finding the right guy for you, and physical chemistry is an important part of compatibility.
As long as you use good judgment (no beer goggles, please) and proper protection, there is nothing wrong with having sex without having a relationship. For many people, however, there is nothing casual about sex. Making love often triggers a feeling of emotional investment. You may find it hard to keep the “casual” vibe in your dating life once you go to bed with a guy.
To keep your sanity and cut down on drama, most relationship counselors and sex therapists agree that you should abstain from sex while you are casually dating. Wait until you your casual dating relationship turns into something more before you take that next step. 6. Go Out When you are casually dating, make sure you actually go out on dates. See a movie, eat at a restaurant, play miniature golf or even go skydiving.
A casual dating relationship is all about enjoying new experiences with someone new in your life. Take this piece of casual dating advice and (repeat after me) get out of the house. That means no DVD-watching on your comfy couch. No cooking dinner at his place. No lounging around in pajamas on a casual Saturday. These home activities are not a part of casual dating; they are the tell-tale signs of coupledom.
Inviting your man-of-the-moment up for a nightcap is one thing. Nesting is another. 7. Respect Your Date Remember, the guys you are casually dating have feelings, too! Don’t treat them like they’re a dime a dozen. If you go on one or two dates with a guy and the chemistry just isn’t there, don’t pretend like you don’t see him the next time you pass him in the street (or the office).
Have the decency to smile, say hello and even strike up a few lines of small talk. You don’t have to avoid each other just because the sparks didn’t fly. By the same token, however, if the sparks happen to turn into fireworks on the first or second date, control your urge to call your new flame every half hour or drop by his place unexpectedly just to say hi. If you’ve entered into a casual dating relationship with a man, then you both agreed to have the same boundaries – strictly fun, nothing serious.
If you develop deeper feelings for the guy you’re dating, you are well within your rights to profess them. But expecting him to reciprocate would be unfair. Most importantly, if the man you are casually dating professes his deeper feelings, you must be honest about how you feel.
If you aren’t interested in starting a relationship, let him down gently but firmly. It’s best that you don’t see each other anymore if you obviously want different things. Don’t lead him on or act wishy-washy about how you feel just so you can keep seeing him. You’ll only end up hurting him in the end. 8. Stay True to Yourself For the most valuable casual dating advice, all you have to do is listen to that little voice inside.
If, half-way through the first date, you realize things aren’t going to work out, break the news gently. If something (probably not your heart) tells you to strike up a conversation with that cute UPS guy the next time he swings by your office, do it. If and when you feel ready to move from a casual dating relationship to something more exclusive, let your guy know.
If he doesn’t feel the same way, don’t settle for less than what you deserve. If you are prone to jealousy, co-dependence or insecurity, casual dating probably isn’t for you. The same advice applies if you’re on a mission to find Mr. Right. But, if you’re looking for a chance to meet new people and have some fun with zero strings attached, you might want to try casually dating.
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Casually Explained: Breaking The Ice