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Since we've come up on Valentine's Day I thought I'd take the time to talk about something sweet and sappy. Oh, love. It's what makes the world go round. It gives us happiness and joy as well as sadness and heartbreak and every emotion in between. It's something we choose to feel but is something we constantly ask for.
I've chosen to be in a relationship for over 2 years now and I'd be lying if I said it was easy being committed to someone, especially at the age I am at. We've been through a lot of ups and downs, but what relationship hasn't? I'm a freshman in college and he's a senior in high school.
This has been the hardest down and the biggest obstacle in our relationship thus far. We know we can't control this which makes it that much harder. Being a senior in high school, there are so many things going on. Many lasts, graduation, wondering where to go in the fall. It's all so much to take in.
Being a freshman in college is a lot as well. A new place, new people, being on your own. There's so much to learn. My boyfriend and I knew this change was coming my senior year, but we never dreamt it would be this hard. All the drives I've made back and forth between home and school, all the facetime calls, the late night texting.
It's been a struggle. The hardest part is I'm practically living 2 different lives, my college life and my life back home. This can be hard for him to understand. He doesn't understand the world I'm living in and I understand his because I lived it already. It sucks because he will get it next year when he's in college.
Sometimes we fight just because we miss each other. It's so annoying because we know if we were together we wouldn't be arguing. This transition is very hard because when I was in high school, we had the same friends, did all the same things together, if we wanted to hang out it was just a short drive.
Now I have a whole new group of friends at college, I'm trying things I've never done before and that short drive turned into 3 hours. I can't help but wonder if next year will be easier or even harder.
We could potentially be even farther apart from each other and he's going to be going through exactly what I'm going through right now. It's like I'm always one step ahead and he's always one behind me. My biggest goal going into college was to not miss out on his senior year. This wasn't easy. I attended many football games, senior night, homecoming, etc.
Sometimes it was hard finding time in my schedule and other times it was very easy to attend things back home. It's always a mystery on what's going to happen next, but in the end, I wouldn't have it any other way. Relationships take work, we know this, therefore, we continue to put in the effort for one another.
When the time comes we will be on the same page, it just takes patience and constantly being there for one another. And when it comes to all of the different relationship scenarios contextualized by the holidays, I've been through it all.
During high school, I've experienced the cliché yet romantic New Years kiss before, naively thinking "Wow. The person I'm starting my year with is the same person I'll end my year with too" only to eventually get dumped via text right before the school's winter dance and Christmas.
During my junior year in college, I went on what I'd like to call a double date baecation (and yes, I meant baecation instead of vacation) right before Christmas. This year for Christmas I'll be in New York with one of my best friends getaway girl's trip which will probably result in getting drunk at Times Square and reminiscing about all the interesting things that have happened in our love lives specifically over the holidays.
I could go on and on with different stories to explain myself, but these relatable moments about love as told by these 7 popular holiday episodes should do the trick. Riverdale’s “Silent Night, Deadly Night” Sometimes telling someone you love them can be the ultimate nerve-wracking experience. You may find that even if the one you love tells you first that they love you, you'll still find that those words are hard to express until the perfect setting and time arises.
As seen in the clip, Veronica uses a simplistic gesture to tell Archie those special three, groundbreaking words. The Office’s “Christmas Party” Jim giving Pam a special teapot for Christmas came in 5th (3:28-4:13) on MsMojo's video of their cutest moments.
The aspect of Jim's preparation that a lot of people may resonate with is that when it comes to the holidays, we do our best to find the people we love the perfect gifts. Some of us may spend hours online or in stores finding the most expensive material goods for our loved ones and others take Jim's approach and spend a lot of time coming up with something creative and original such as a teapot full of their inside jokes.
That 70s Show’s “Hyde’s Christmas Rager” Being single during the holidays sucks sometimes. You may not even be the type of person who finds themselves in and out of relationships much, but having that special someone during the holiday season definitely ads some spice to the festivities. Jackie Burkhart explains it best that even when you're completely in love with yourself, sometimes you just want to french kiss someone underneath the mistletoe to fulfill the loneliness.
Gossip Girl’s “Roman Holiday” Serena went above and beyond to find a Christmas-themed way to have sex with Dan for the first time.
Though a lot of us haven't thought about completely transforming an empty room into the Christmas fantasy setting for sexy time, we have rushed to Victoria's Secret to find ourselves or our partner's the best Christmas lingerie we can find to make sex all the more festive.
Glee’s “A Very Glee Christmas” People tend to focus on the highs of love during the holidays while ignoring the down-side. Anyone who has ever had a breakup around Christmas-time can attest to the fact that it overshadows all of the gifts and family time because the only two things you want to do is cry or try to get them back. Rachel's attempt to shop for Christmas trees with her off and on boyfriend, Finn, backfires when he finally sets the record straight and officially dumps her, leaving her heartbroken.
The OC’s “The Countdown” The OC's New Years episode is the perfect representation of when your New Years kiss is either romantic and everything you've ever wanted or the exact opposite. This classic scene shows Ryan rushing to Marissa as she patiently and anxiously waits for him all night at a party.
When he finally shows up just before the clock strikes midnight, they share a passionate kiss to start the brand new year. On the other hand, Summer, Marissa's best friend, isn't so lucky. Summer ends up kissing a random guy at the party, but she quickly realizes that the person she truly wants is her ex-boyfriend, Seth Cohen.
Friends’ “The One With All The Resolutions” Chandler and Monica want to have the perfect New Years kiss, but because of the secrecy of their relationship, they let Joey concoct a plan to make it happen for them in a covert way. Though the holidays may sound like the best excuse to go public with your relationship, it's still not the nest time for some people for multiple reasons.
In Chandler and Monica's case, it's because they are all in the same friend group and they don't want to make things awkward. In the case of others, it could simply be that you're not ready for your family to be in your business about that yet or you don't want to put too much pressure on the relationship before it has a chance to bloom.
Either way, we can only hope that things work out for our favor in the end just like it did for Chandler and Monica. We all want to know the answer to this question. When you first get together with someone new, everything is bright and shiny and exciting. But then, something about a past relationship comes up and suddenly you feel caught. You don't know how much you should say and how much you need to keep to yourself.
Some romantic partners come off as really jealous and possessive, which might force you to maybe withhold more information than you intended too. Others seem to want to know every little detail. Navigating this is hard, and unfortunately, there's no way around it. So, how much do you tell your partner about your past loves? The answer is really more simple than we think.
You tell them only as much as you're comfortable with. That's it. That's the answer. No relationship can work without trust, and when it comes to spilling out all of the secrets and memories of previous relationships, that's not always the easiest thing to do.
The best solution is to take your time and tell them what you want to tell them when you feel as though the time is right. There is no need to force the conversation, and you should never let your partner force you into telling them anything. In a previous relationship, I was with someone who came off as sweet and charming but was really insecure. He demanded to know every little detail of what had happened with the boyfriend before him, even though there was about a year in between the two relationships.
His prying and forcefulness actually broke us up. Though we ended up getting back together, it was hard to forget the uncomfortable feeling that I got whenever he said my ex's name and asked questions. He made it almost impossible to share and I actually started to feel ashamed of my memories.
So I started giving vague details and keeping the rest to myself. In all honesty, I no longer felt like sharing. Every time he would ask another question and a new minuscule detail would come up, he would jump at me and tell me that I had lied to him, that I wasn't being entirely honest. It was terrible, and it just about broke my trust in our relationship. That's just not the way that things should be. You tell what you're okay with talking about.
When talking to someone who loves and respects you, the words will flow in their own time. Now, I have no problem telling my significant other stories about who I was with. He trusts that I will tell him what he needs to know and now we just laugh about it. When you tell someone that respects you, it makes a world of difference.
There is no more feeling uncomfortable or like you have anything that you need to hide because at the end of the day, they are your memories. What happened in the past, is the past and there's no reason to ever let that hinder your future.
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