Some guys think the best way to meet and date women is by getting to know them first, and creating the sexual spark later. WRONG! This is one of the top dating mistakes guys like you innocently make. If you follow this pattern, you are going to fail badly my friend. You will be labelled as the nice guy, or the ‘guy friend’, but not the boyfriend. This means no dates, no girlfriends, and no sex. I know this to be true because I’ve been there too many freaking times, and it sucks. My Natural Attraction Masterclass program will guide you through the steps to meeting, and attracting awesome women.
The following is a guest post from Avery of Red Pill Theory… I was alone at 2:00 am on a Saturday night… again. I had approached well over a dozen women, and each one either ‘had to use the restroom’ or said they weren’t interested.
(One girl even said, “I’m an 8, you’re a 2, move along please.”) I’ve been rejected by A LOT of women, and although sometimes it sucked, I’ve learned several .
In this article, you’ll learn the three most common dating mistakes that men make, (are you making any of them?) and you will learn how to avoid these mistakes so they don’t prevent you from getting the abundant dating life you want.
Bonus:and discover the 5 conversation mistakes that put you in the friendzone . 1. They Don’t Learn from Failure TFW she rejects you but you refuse to learn… Wouldn’t it be cool if you could run into your dream girl tomorrow, ask her out, and start dating her? Fantasies tend to be cool. Reality is a lot messier. In real life, developing your dating skillset takes time, and the process centers around one thing more than anything else: learning from failure. If you want to avoid rejection, stay home and play video games.
If you want a great dating life, however, prepare to learn from failure. Asking a woman out can be awkward and embarrassing, especially when you’re new to it. That awkwardness is a necessary part of the process – it’s where personal growth happens. Getting rejected thickens your skin.
Each time you get rejected, you will become a little bit more comfortable with rejection. The more comfortable you are with rejection, the more socially confident you will become. The more confident you become, the more attractive you will be to women. Without exception, anyone who is confident in their abilities has failed many times. For example, when you watch a professional athlete, you’re seeing someone who is extremely confident in their abilities. What you don’t see, however, are the hundreds of hours in which they ran basic drills and failed again and again.
It’s those nearly countless failures that developed their confidence. Once you’re comfortable with failure, you will be comfortable with success. Michael Jordan famously said, “I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Each time you ask a girl on a date and she says no, you’re proving to yourself that rejection is not that big of a deal. You’re trading a moment of discomfort for long-term self-confidence. It’s a good trade. Make sure to define rejection specifically.
Many men don’t learn because they consider standing in the corner of a bar with a drink in their hand sufficient for making progress.
Personally, I define rejection as hearing a no. When I ask a girl for her number and she says, “no”, that’s a rejection. Contrarily, when I approach a girl and leave after five minutes because I’m nervous, I’m only rejecting myself. This doesn’t mean you need to ask every girl you talk to on a date, but if you’re not asking any girls out, you’re not risking failure. And therefore, you’re also not risking success. 2. They Get Bitter, Not Better “If I was just a little more attractive, she’d totally be into me…” It’s easy to think in terms of excuses () instead of taking responsibility, i.e.
“If I was good looking enough I could have got her!” Sure, that might have helped, but was there something you could have done better? Probably. It’s true, attracting women would be easier if you were a celebrity or if you were male-model good looking. Unfortunately, thinking about this is little more than a great way to free yourself of responsibility for your own success or failure. It’s tough to admit if you’re doing this, though. It’s so comforting to think, “Yeah, but my excuse IS legitimate, it’s different!” No, it’s not.
There’s a better way to think about dating, and it will help you to silence your excuses and become more resourceful. Ask yourself, “Could I be doing anything better? Is there anything I could do to improve my chances of success right now?” For example, if you’re not regularly meeting women in the real world, starting to consistently go to would be your next step.
Even if your excuses are fairly accurate, they don’t lower your chances of success as much as avoiding environments with attractive women. If you meet a woman you really like but it doesn’t go anywhere, you can tell yourself, “It’s because I’m not good looking enough,” or “No woman will ever like me.” OR you can ask yourself, “Was there anything I could have done differently?” Maybe you could have, maybe you could have , or maybe you could have been a little less needy.
Factors outside of your control are part of the equation too. She might have a boyfriend, she might only like tall guys, and sure, she might just not like your face. Focusing on these factors can make you feel self-pity, but can it ever help your results? Nope. It’s better to focus on factors within your control. Your energy, your confidence, and the language you use are all aspects of your attractiveness that you can improve.
Some women won’t like you no matter what you do; but if you focus only on what you can improve, you’ll be able to play the hand you were dealt much more effectively. 3. They Try to Win Women Over with Logic, Not Emotions This is definitely NOT the equation to her heart… You can’t logically convince a girl to like you. Sexual attraction is an emotional experience. The part of your brain that handles your taxes and memorized scientific equations in high-school isn’t of much use while attracting women.
Emotions come first, not second. Change her mood, not her mind. In terms of attraction, logical conversation is like noise, whereas emotional conversation is like music.
Focus on making an emotional impact on a woman and you will have a much more successful dating life. How do you accomplish this? By changing what you focus on when interacting with a woman. Take this example (of what not to do): Guy: “Do you come here often?” Girl: “Yeah.” Guy: “That’s cool, you from here?” Girl: “No, I’m from California.” Guy: “Oh, that’s awesome, great weather. Expensive though.” Girl: “Yeah, it was nice.” Guy: “So… wanna dance?” Girl: “Oh, I actually have to use the bathroom.” Sadly, the above example is barely an exaggerated portrayal of the average guy’s attempt at meeting a woman.
This kind of conversation is a logical exchange of information: it’s wholly uncompelling and has no effect on a girl’s emotions. Speak to convey emotions. For example, if a girl says, “I’m from California.” You might say, “You must be resourceful to have been able to make it in California.
Unless… Did you move here because you couldn’t make ends meet?” The first statement is what psychologist and author Jack Schafer calls an empathic statement. By suggesting that she is resourceful, you are giving her a reason to feel good about herself, which will, in turn, make her feel good about you. The second statement, “Unless… Did you move here because you couldn’t make ends meet?” creates emotional tension and makes the conversation more exciting. But that’s offensive! Sure, if you focus on the logic of the words, it’s offensive.
But if you see the words as a tease, then what is logically unkind becomes emotionally fun. If you clearly mean it as a joke, it’s adding value. If you mean it as a judgment, it’s offensive. The two basic emotional poles to focus on in conversations with women are hot and cold (AKA push and pull). Honing in on these emotions will make your conversation more engaging for the girl.
‘Hot’ is anything that makes her feel good. For example, “You must be very hard working if you’re going to medical school,” or, “You’re from here? You must be really down to earth if you’ve lived in this town for your whole life.” ‘Cold’ is anything that challenges her. For example, you can imply you’re not interested in her, “You’re really adorable, like the sister I never had!” Or, you can by saying something like, “You watch The Vampire Diaries?
This will never work out.” Effective emotional spikes add playful tension to an interaction and make it more dynamic. If everything you say is pleasant and agreeable, your conversation will be a lot like playing the same note on an instrument again and again. It might be a great note, but after too much repetition it gets boring. By learning to intentionally hit different emotional notes you will adding dynamism and mystery to your conversations which will, in turn, make you seem more interesting and attractive.
Wrapping Up Dating Mistakes Guys Make… Dating mistakes like the above are extremely common, and that’s okay. We all make mistakes when improving our dating skills. The tough part is being open-minded and humble enough to like these in the first place.
If you genuinely want a great dating life, you have to leave your ego at the door and be willing to challenge your assumptions and beliefs. When you learn from your mistakes and adjust accordingly, you will inevitably reach your dating goals.
All the best, Avery After years of video game addiction Avery decided he’d replace Night Elves with living, breathing women. After approaching thousands of women and getting a degree in psychology, he put both skillsets to use with his website, , which offers dating advice with a scientific edge.
best common dating mistakes to avoid - Top 5 common dating mistakes and how to avoid them
Going on a date is really something to be excited about. And when it is your first date, you would like to give your best shot. But people make a lot of common mistakes on their first date and of course you would not like to spoil your first impression by doing something silly.
Once you commit a mistake on your date, you would really not be able to rectify it because your date might not give you a second chance. So let us go through a few bad mistakes that one can make during their first date and how they could avoid them so that their date turns into a long-term relationship. • Getting drunk: There’s no harm in ordering alcoholic drinks or some exotic wine on your first date but make sure your date gives consent to it.
Not only that, if you order drinks, make sure that you don’t drink to the extent of going beyond the acceptable limits because if you do that, you might stand a high chance of vomiting in front of your date. Obviously that would not at all be a pleasant thing to do. • Wearing something obnoxious: Make sure that you don’t wear something inappropriate on your first date. Inappropriate means something that might offend your date or something that you would never wear to work.
• Talking about your EX: A common mistake which people often commit on their first date is talking about their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend. Never do this as it would surely ruin your date. Your date would definitely not like to hear about your romantic past because your first date with a person is a first step towards a new relationship and it should not have any tinge from the past.
• Using your cell phone too much:While on date, people make the mistake of using their cell phone too much between conversations with their partner. Don’t do this! Your date may find this irritating as it reflects that you are being less attentive towards your date. • Asking too many questions: Your first date is not an interview and you are not an interviewer.
So please don’t ask your date too many questions and especially the ones which sound like questions in a work appraisal meeting. • Flirting too much: Little amount of harmless flirting would not be counted as a crime on a first date but don’t say overrated stuff like ‘I love you’ and ‘You’re the one for me’ because it really sounds cheesy for a first date. Needless to say, don’t talk about sex and your previous sexual encounters. • Taking a friend along: Its your first date and not a picnic!
So never bring a friend to a date. Its a huge mistake people sometimes commit and as a result spoil their date totally. • Insulting anyone or anything: Do not put forth some behaviour in front your date which might appear insulting. It would project a really bad image of yours on your date.
So act graceful. These are the common mistakes which spoil first dates and can be avoided with a little care. But inspite of keeping these things in mind, if you still get rejected after your date, then the reason must be something related to your nature and compatibility and you need not worry about that.
Online Dating has come a long way. Finding love online is not a stigma anymore, and there are innumerable online dating websites with millions of users. It is in fact, one of the most popular ways of finding like-minded people online and make new partners.
While there are several online dating websites running over the web, social networking websites like Facebook are also a popular mode of running love stories online.
So you have plenty of websites to find your love interest but at the same time, there are some very important points to be kept in mind while dating someone online. A small mistake can ruin your life, and you may end up with a mess. In this post, we will talk about a few online dating tips and talk about some mistakes you should avoid. Before you begin, it goes without saying that you need to have a fully updated Windows computer along with a good software installed on your PC.
Mistakes to avoid in Online Dating Remember the adage – On the Internet, no one knows if you are a dog or a potato? Well that still hold true, so remember that first, and the move forward, 1. Be Selective Do not go to the wrong website! There are many dating websites but not all of them are safe.
Do check the reviews and feedbacks of the website before you join it. Do check the reviews over the web and then select the one which seems the safest.
There are different kinds of dating websites, some offer you the correct match for you based on your interests and compatibility and some websites allow users to find and add people on their own. Choose the website accordingly. While online dating sites are the best ways to search love online, but it is always better to be selective.
Don’t add people randomly. Check the profile carefully before you connect with anyone and share your details. 2. Make sure that you have a proper profile Make sure that your profile is not too overtly seductive. You do not want to catch the attention of the wrong people. It is very important to complete at least 90% of your profile, add your own profile photo. A flattering picture with a tilted head, genuine smile, and crinkling eyes will make you stand out certainly.
If you are in an impression that keeping any celebrity’s picture as your profile picture will help you getting a good partner, you are sadly mistaken. Lying gets you nowhere. It is not important to mention everything you like, add your best interests and that’s enough.
Try to make your profile exciting with some interesting but real information. Adding the wrong interests, just to make your profile look good might not help you getting a likeminded partner. Avoid sharing negative, sad and depressing quotes, always remember, no one like sadness around.
Be positive and playful and let your profile reflect your positivity. Such profiles tend to attract more. 3. Don’t rush to connect Online dating websites help you finding love but don’t rush. Take your time, try to know each other first, be good friends and approach for a relationship when you feel it’s the right time. Do not get attached soon, this is the worst that could happen in online dating. Too much attachment leads to more expectations and which certainly leads to too much disappointment.
You may end up in heartaches. No matter how perfect he or she is, too much attachment and expectations create boundaries which further may make the relations bitter.
If in doubt, wait! 4. Be careful with your messages Do not send philosophical or hypothetical messages. No one is here to solve your double meaning, putative and senseless messages. People join the dating websites to have fun so try being interesting and fun to be with. Also, don’t be creepy and avoid sending the awkward and explicit messages in your initial days of dating. No girl likes the porno-inspired and tacky pick-up lines, instead, try sending genuine and frank messages. Coming on strong always is not cool at all, you may get reported and blocked in no time.
In short – do not send messages that you think you’d regret having sent, later on, to someone you hardly know. 5. Wait for the moment. Haste makes waste. Don’t jump! Be smart enough to hit the trigger at the right time. Do not rush to meet your online partner in person. Going slow is the best idea. If you have been talking to someone for quite a long, try finding some mutual interests, something that you both enjoy to do, may it be playing golf, watching a movie or anything else and then plan a date.
6. Don’t give up The first few dates usually are not perfect. You may not get the right partner in the first attempt, do not distress and keep trying.
You will surely find someone who will love you for what you are, without trying to change you. You will soon find someone which whom you can be what you actually are. Find some good friends, some like-minded people and then finally one fine day you may find someone you want to move ahead with. 7. Intelligence attracts The Brain is the largest sex organ and researchers prove that higher intelligence is directly proportional to one’s drives.
Looks are important but wit attracts. Men or women both are literally attracted to wittiness and intelligence. There are sapiosexuals who are turned on by wit and attracted to the insights. Do use correct language and grammar in your messages and chats. 8. Don’t trust quickly Do not place your trust quickly. When you are in a new relationship, you should rush and trust the person as much as you may feel like. Don share your financial details or online passwords, etc.
9. Accept the break-ups – don’t push them Online dating brings lots of heartaches and breakups. After a few dates, you may not find each other compatible, and there’s nothing wrong in breaking up in such case. Accept the breakups gracefully and move on. There are no set rules of what constitutes a relationship, not even in offline dating. Not every relationship deserves a dramatic breakup. If by any chance you want to break up, take it gracefully. It’s easier said than done, but being practical is the key.
Read: ? Posted by on August 16, 2016 , in Category with Tags Shiwangi is a qualified writer and a blogger, who loves to dabble with and write about computers. While focusing on and writing on technology topics, her varied skills and experience enables her to write on any topics which may interest her. Creating a System Restore Point first before installing a new software, and being careful about any third-party offers while installing freeware is recommended.
7 Red Flags In Dating You Should NEVER Ignore