The follow-up after a first date is rarely as simple as: I like you, I had fun, let's get together again. There are layers of meaning in texts to unpack, not to mention timing: who reaches out first and how quickly does the other person respond? It can all feel like a giant chess match The alternative: If I'm not interested after the date, I'll head straight home and begin my process of fading out of this girl's life (following up is not part of that process). Of course, not hearing back right away isn't a definite rejection, but the excitement of a speedy follow-up message speaks for itself. 6. Striking While the Iron's Hot. When you don't get that speedy affirmation text, or a greeting within a few days, it can mean a number of things.
If he is yet to ask you out on a second date, he is just being nice. You may have had a really good time at the and it may have even been amazing. You may have had good conversation. Everything may have seemed perfect. Need Advice? – However, if it has been a few weeks since this first date and he is yet to ask you out again, he is showing in you romantically.
Even though you may have been carrying on conversations with him since that first date, he is not necessarily interested. A guy who is truly interested would have asked you out again by now. Need Advice? – I know that there is a part of you that really wants to believe that all this is not about this guy being nice but about something more. I know that there is a part of you that feels like the connection was too potent to merely be platonic in nature.
However, do understand that is a two way street. Just because you were feeling it doesn’t mean that he was as well. No matter how great that first date was, when a guy hasn’t asked you out soon after that, he is showing that he is not motivated to do so. Need Advice? – Think about it for a moment. How would most people react when they have been around someone that they really enjoyed? They would want to be around that person again, right? If he hasn’t asked for a second date, he isn’t trying to be around you.
Need Advice? – That is how you know that he is not interested. He may call you and chat. He may continue to give you compliments or ask you more about yourself. However, these are only words. He has to act in order to show you that he has genuine romantic interest in you. He would have to act by and he hasn’t done so. Now, there can be some extenuating circumstances.
Perhaps he has had to leave town or tend to an ailing loved one. Need Advice? – This could cause a delay in his request for a second date. Indeed, he may not be in the right frame of mind to consider a second date when he may have an ailing family member that he has to attend to at this time. However, there should be a time that he decides to ask you out again. There should be a time when he realizes that he misses you and .
He would want to see you in person. He wouldn’t just want to keep texting into eternity. Need Advice? – When two people have a true romantic connection, they yearn to be around each other. They yearn to be around each other’s energy. He may initially be sincere in not being able to set up a second date due to family or business priorities but that shouldn’t become his act.
He shouldn’t continue to use that as an excuse. He may still not ask for that second date even after those priorities have been tended to. Need Advice? – He may keep you around to make him feel like there is someone he can talk to but he isn’t taking it any further than that. These are the moments when you should realize that he is not genuinely interested in you.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.
best date girl not interested after first date - 40 First Date Questions That are Foolproof
Spiderstock / iStock.comHow to solve any after first date problems you are having to get subsequent dates when your first date went well with kissing and affection, but you still can’t get a second date, things just fizzle out or the women go completely cold and ignore you. In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss three different emails from three different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who is twenty-one and is having problems getting second dates after kissing and affection on his first dates.
He asks my opinion on what he is doing wrong to cause women to not want a second date when things started off so good.
The second email is from a guy who was chasing a woman for three years and getting nowhere. After he found my work and started applying it, he has recently seduced her and wants my opinion on how to keep successfully escalating things going forward.
The third email is from a guy who says he gets 3-4 dates before things just fizzle out and they go cold. One of the women he went out with, but who gave him the cheek on both of their dates, just contacted him after two months of not hearing from her.
She asked what happened to him. He was surprised, because he thought she was not interested. He asks my opinion on how he can tweak his game to improve his dating results. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the bodies of their emails: First Viewer’s Email: Hey Corey, I love your work and what you do to help others, and I can’t thank you enough.
I have a few problems that are coming up after the first date with women. I am 21 years old and in great shape. I lift 6-7 days a week. Most of the time, while I’m at the gym I put my earbuds in and listen to your videos on YouTube.
Some I have listened to plenty of times to get it programmed in my head. vgajic / iStock.comOn the first date with girls I am taking out, I like to go somewhere that involves each other doing something involved, like mini golfing, fishing, a place I know they’ll catch a few, bowling, etc., and then get some ice cream when we are done, because like you always say, take them to 2-3 places so it feels like they’ve been on a few dates with you already.
(What is the purpose of a date? To create a fun-filled opportunity for sex to happen. Fishing is not really conducive to seduction. I wouldn’t recommend going outdoors and getting all sweaty on a date. There should be drinks and dinner afterwards, and you have to think about What happens when things go really well? You can invite them to go do something else or get a drink. If a woman’s really affectionate and touchy-feely, the idea is to keep escalating it, because the whole purpose of seduction is to get closer to a woman until you end up inside of her.
If things are going really well and she’s all over you, you don’t just end the date. That’s counter productive. When a woman treats you the way you want to be treated, you reward her with more of your time.
When she’s cold, distant and unaffectionate, you give her the gift of missing you. I can tell by your email you’re cutting dates short that you shouldn’t be. Go have some drinks with her. The idea is, you want to facilitate the two of you eventually getting alone together, so you have to think about the logistics of sex.
If you apply the things in , you’re going to get laid on the first date.) During these dates, there is always great conversation, and I always let them do 70-80 percent of the talking, while I am either asking questions or saying something to make them laugh.
I’m always smiling and just going with the flow and very comfortable and confident in my own skin THANKS TO YOU. These girls get closer to me as the dates go by, and eventually, when I know they are comfortable enough, I will reach out my hand in the car and they will quickly grab it.
They are always talking a lot, showing a lot of interest and at the end, I always go for the kiss and we always end up making out yet again thanks to your book and videos. (The kiss doesn’t have to come at the end of the date.
If a woman is touchy-feely and she’s very close to you and affectionate, you don’t need to wait. You should look for the subtle cues and the body language that’s in the book, she’s playing with her hair, she’s touching your arm, she’s sitting next to you and her knee is touching yours, you look at her lips and she looks at your lips — that means she’s ready to be kissed.
You don’t have to wait. It’s a case by case basis. The key is to know what to look for, and to act accordingly. I can tell you haven’t read the book 10-15 times. That’s part of the problem. Watching the videos is not a substitution for reading the book.) I’m also the one who’s always ending the date and who stops kissing first so she will leave wanting more. (Wrong way to go about it dude.) Ridofranz / iStock.comAfter the dates, if they don’t text me first, I usually wait around 4 days to text them, and they usually immediately respond, probably because they’ve been wondering about me, and then I simply ask when the next time they are free is, and then they usually say when they are free.
I try and immediately set a date, but they won’t set them or won’t text back at all. (The idea is, if you haven’t heard back from them, say, “I had a really great time the other night, and I’d really love to see you again. When are you free to get together?” You’re being a little too robotic, and using a little too much technique here, trying to be cool, acting like you don’t care and you’re not interested, and I can tell the women are picking up on that.
They sense something is off, because you aren’t being completely authentic with them. The thing is, you want to be in the moment, go with the flow and escalate things as they show you the signs they’re ready.
Two steps forward, one step back.) Do you see something I’m doing wrong from what I have told you, or are they just playing the waiting game and seeing if I give in, which I won’t thanks to your work! (If you just tweak things like I said, you’re results will be night and day better.) Thank you Bob Second Viewer’s Email: Hi Corey, I’ve been chasing a girl for over 3 years.
Long story in short, she always slipped away and ended up with another guy, and I just did not understand why. She always said she loves me as a friend, we had sex a couple of times, but at the end of the day, I always got the let’s just be friends speech.
She is single now, and I managed to set up few dates again. We made dinner together, I gave her a massage, etc., but for the past 2 months, she did not allow sex or even a kiss. (If you go to kiss a woman and she gives you the cheek, I wouldn’t call a woman like that again.
As you get better, you won’t be going out with women that give you the cheek. You will only be going out with women that really like you from the get-go.) efenzi / iStock.com Then I came across your work, and now I see all the mistakes I made, which turned her off. So I took your advice, stepped out of my needy personality, and started to date another girl.
It was kind of tactics to make selfies together, so I could upload it to Instagram, and she could see I am happily dating someone else. (There’s nothing wrong with having a great social life. If you’re very active on social media and posting lots of pictures of yourself, and she sees you having all of these great, fun adventures, it gives you social status and makes them find you more attractive.) After a week, she contacted me with some bullshit reason, she wanted to sell a pair of shoes to me, and I knew what I had to do.
We met, and she instantly started asking about my new date and if I had sex with her. (When you started focusing on other women and posting pictures of your adventures, and all of a sudden she wanted to give you a second look.) I said yes of course, but really I didn’t, and I said I also date 2 other women. She said she is also started dating with someone. I was very cool about it.
(If you have abundance in your personal life, and you don’t get butt hurt if they’re dating somebody else, it’s like you have a take it or leave it attitude. If you have multiple offers, you’re going to take the best offer for you.) A week later, she messaged me again, so I set up a date again at my place.
We made dinner together, and her attitude was totally different. She wanted to play a game and said, let’s act like we are a just married couple, and let’s call each other “darling, honey, etc.” I accepted to play this game. (Notice the attitude. It’s a complete night and day difference.) During the evening, she kind of played the role of good wife, she demonstrated her cooking talent, etc. She asked how the dinner tasted.
I tasted it and said, “it’s so good you deserve this,” and I grabbed her and kissed her. (Perfect.) She showed no resistance. Then after eating, I playfully made a ring out of copper wire and put it on her finger. She laughed, and kissed me again. We then watched a film and had sex.
Then we had sex the next morning again, and then she went home. g-stockstudio / iStock.comThis is where I stand now. My big question is, should I contact her the next week to set up another date, (Why? If she’s comfortable reaching out to you, I wouldn’t do anything in that case. Let her do 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing. Then when you hear from her, make the next date. This way, it’s her idea), or should I wait and let her to do 100% of it. (Because you are re-attracting somebody that you already pushed away and got friend-zoned by, if you start pursuing her, she’ll start to become unavailable, because it’s not her idea.) What should I say if she asks about my dates again?
(Gentlemen don’t kiss and tell. Change the subject.) Should I say I am still dating other girls? (Answer a question with a question and say, “Why do you ask?” Never answer the question that was asked of you. Answer the question you wish was asked of you. Play with it, and have fun with it. Don’t be so serious.) Bob Third Viewer’s Email: Hey Corey, I’ve been following you for less than a year. I want to thank you for the tremendous amount that you’ve helped me out so far! I’ve read your book 6 times so far and referenced specific chapters several times when unsure.
For the first time ever, I’ve had PLENTY of choice with women. However, there must be something I still don’t understand. I am getting several dates, at least 3-4 with beautiful women, but then it just fizzles away.
Being a new man with the utmost self respect, I let the women walk if I can feel them pulling away. Most of the time, they come back, which I think is so funny and awesome, because intuition tells me to reach out rather than wait. (That’s because you became emotionally conditioned to do that your whole life. It’s hard to undo this programming, especially when you’ve had it beat into your head since you were a little boy, that men have to pursue and act like stalkers, and that’s the only way to get a girlfriend or a wife.) Zinkevych / iStock.comThe most beautiful of my lovers is a girl who rejected my kiss on the first date.
I played it off as no big deal. (Part of the problem is, you went to kiss this girl and she gave you the cheek. That’s either somebody that’s not interested or they’re structured. In other words, they’re being a robot. If a woman’s got rules, don’t mess with it. If a woman treats you the way you want to be treated, they get the gift of more of your time. When they give you the cheek, that’s it. You’re done.
You’re out.) On the second date, I went in for the kiss again, but got a half ass kiss in return. (Part of the problem is, you’re going out with a girl that gave you the cheek, so this tells me she’s a little structured and maybe a little shy.
And that’s why if you never had called her after the first date, you probably would have been a lot further along.) I figured the attraction wasn’t there on her side, so I never contacted her again. (That’s the right thing to do, however it should have happened after the first date.) Long story short, she contacted me 2 months later asking why I disappeared.
(Scarcity created value.) I made it clear I wasn’t interested in friendship. She has been pursuing me ever since over text and has invited me to visit her. She now lives 1.5 hours out of town. (I would not be driving an hour and half to visit a woman that’s going to give you the cheek. Because this woman screwed up and didn’t value and appreciate your time, you should invite her to your place to make dinner together. You’ve already been out with her twice, therefore, she’s a low priority.
You’ll give her another chance, but you’re not going to drive an hour and a half away for another peck on the cheek. Don’t be a chump. If somebody appreciates you and values your time, they get more of it.) How do I not mess this up, seeing as how other women in my recent past have come and gone, and come and gone AGAIN? (I look at these mistakes here, and it tells me you don’t know the fundamentals and you’re not applying the things in the book. You’re doing the opposite.
You’re still chasing and going out on dates you shouldn’t be going out on. The idea is to be going out with somebody who really is excited to be there. That’s not somebody who is in an abundance mentality. That’s somebody who is desperate and who feels like women are scarce and you’ll never get a chance. But if she reaches out, invite her to your place. Tell her, if she wants to see you, she needs to show you she likes and appreciates you. You’ve got to be willing to say no. Don’t be desperate and running after somebody like this.
With women who really like you and really value you, it will be easy and effortless, it will be fun, and it will end up with an opportunity for sex to happen.
Most women will sleep with a guy by the second or third date if you apply what I teach in the book. It will flow easily.) Regards, Bob If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things: • Make a donation to my work by anytime you feel I have added significant value to your life.
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Sometimes, women who are cold initially, will warm up to you over 2-3 dates. The more a woman is initially attracted to you and ready for more in the beginning, the more she will invite you in to share her secret worlds. The less she is attracted to you, the more you will have to work at carrying conversations, keeping the energy level high, and the more dates you must go on with her in order to raise her attraction slowly over time.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne Click Anywhere on Today's Instagram Image Below & You'll Be Taken To My Instagram Page.
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Maybe she's expecting you to contact her, but IMO usually if they want to see you again they'll tell you they had a good time etc. Every girl that was interested in me after the date texted how amazing it was and hoped they could see me again, or they at least texted to make sure I got home safe and then usually a "good night talk to you tomorrow" type deal, so yea most likely tour is over boyo, move on Maybe, maybe not.
Just be patient and see how it works out. Send out a feeler in a couple of days if she doesn't contact you and see if she responds and how she acts. IME, most women text me almost immediately after we go our separate ways, but that doesn't mean anything either.
Women need a few days to process all the information. Clothes only fit for a month crew****** My girl hates me training crew****** Argue before during and after training crew****** What's her problem crew****** Maybe she's just jealous crew****** Insecure biitch if you ask me crew****** Lucky no ones asking crew****** Most nights I sleep with one eye open just incase she deletes my account, coz I swear I'd never hit a women but her ass is pushing it crew****** Everyone is different but how you react is constant.
Don't text her. Either she liked you and is playing some game (or is busy) or she wasn't feeling it. If she liked you she won't let more than a few days go by without texting you. I would never text a girl first after a date, but if you really want, it would be alright to reach out on day 4/5.
That's ****ing it though. Usually a girl will text "had a good time ty" or something before I even get home so my guess is you ****ed something up.
went out for drinks and some apps with a girl last night. things went pretty smooth. we had a lot in common. i payed for everything too. but its the day after and i still havent gotten a text from her. is it over boyos? Thats fine and good. She does not have to text and it is great she has not. Remain NC and Text her on Sunday night for a date ideally on Tuesday or Wednesday.
This date must be something lighter like a walk to the park or icecream at the mall. Dont text for anything else. You were too nice, she enjoyed the free meal/drinks and is outski boyo. Too nice lol, nice assumption. There could be so many reasons why she doesn't want a next date: maybe he's a bad kisser, he said something stupid that pissed her off, they didn't click nor want the same thing etc... and finally he didn't escalate enough. Thanks for playing Read this a while back, "MogadishuK" posted this on these forums "Personally I have always found when a girl texts you after a date, you know she is interested.
Its like a good sign. It isn't always a deal breaker but in my experience, her texting you to say she had a good night is a big green light. Where as nothing at all, usually a bad sign. Again, this isn't always correct but is generally indicative of how she feels about you in my opinion." Went on 6 dates with this girl earlier this year and on 4 of those occasions she texted me saying "she had a good time".
I waited an hour on all those occasions. Wouldn't kill to just text her either, she could be waiting for you to text something Sucks when the girl was blowing up your phone, you go out, then it's radio silence on her end. Hadn't heard back from this one girl I had gone on a date with, so I sent her a text 2-3 days later.
I didn't get a response and just figured she wasn't interested. 3-4 MONTHS pass and I get a response back to the text I had sent. Not sure WTF her angle was, and maybe she didn't look at the time stamp, but it was a major mind fukk. Sucks when the girl was blowing up your phone, you go out, then it's radio silence on her end. Hadn't heard back from this one girl I had gone on a date with, so I sent her a text 2-3 days later.
I didn't get a response and just figured she wasn't interested. 3-4 MONTHS pass and I get a response back to the text I had sent. Not sure WTF her angle was, and maybe she didn't look at the time stamp, but it was a major mind fukk.
Phuck yes, they shower you with attention and as fast as they blow up your phone with messages, they are gone... Just to show up a month later. Whatever they are trying to do, I do nothing until she's the one asking me out and not just some ego boost. There could be a million reasons why she didn't text back and several of them are not because you did something "wrong"...
-She could've just gotten out of a LTR -She could be dealing with some type of personal loss (family death) -She could be insecure and think she's not good enough -She could be the type who is used to guys texting her first and is wondering the same thing about you "Why hasn't he texted me?" The list goes on.. We've all had stuff like this happen. Some girls just don't want to be rude and will stay the whole date because they want to be nice and they have nothing better to do that night but will cut you out of existence when they get home.
Don't listen to the 'initiate first' nonsense lol.. if she was really feeling you would have woken up to a text from her because she would feel obligated to since you paid for everything. I wouldn't text her, there's more girls out there went out for drinks and some apps with a girl last night. things went pretty smooth. we had a lot in common. i payed for everything too. but its the day after and i still havent gotten a text from her. is it over boyos? This is 7 of the last 7 dates for me.
It's modern dating in a nutshell. Unless you totally blown their socks off, they're probably in the "Hmmmmmmm, maaaaaybe" mode about seeing you again. You need to learn the same lesson I need to learn. STOP PAYING FOR ****. It's a waste of money for someone you're never going to see again.
Sucks when the girl was blowing up your phone, you go out, then it's radio silence on her end. Hadn't heard back from this one girl I had gone on a date with, so I sent her a text 2-3 days later. I didn't get a response and just figured she wasn't interested.
3-4 MONTHS pass and I get a response back to the text I had sent. Not sure WTF her angle was, and maybe she didn't look at the time stamp, but it was a major mind fukk. Because she was seeing someone else she liked more, he dumped her and then she hit you up to see if you're still interested. This happens all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. You were option C so when A dumped her and B was already in another relationship, she came back to C.
Just lol if you're both playing the "I won't text him/her first" game. Pathetic. Just text her. This. I always do 2 tries after the initial non-text I get from a girl. I tell them I had a good time and want to see them again. *no answer* I ask them what they're doing on X, Y or Z night. *no answer* I delete their number and never talk to them again.
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After First Date Problems