But surprisingly, mostly Muslims do date before marriage. From teenager till adolescent are not shy anymore to date in public. Why could it be occurred? We cannot blame just from one side, from the activists may be. We have to think clearly that this situation could not be occurred if the societies still hold Al-quran values in their daily activities. In Islam, if someone wants to know more about someone who he is falling in love with, and wants to ask her to marry, he can do Ta’aruf This verse motivate us to be the better one. In the end of the day, Islamic dating rules must be followed from their belief, but we can always spread love in the world. If we are talking about mate, there is no guarantee that someone is our true mate or not. So, we should believe that God always give the best for us.
Dec 10, 2008 Rating Quest for the Right One - Marriage blog for sisters with your questions. by: www.questfortherightone.blogspot.com Assalamu alaikum everyone: These are really important issues to discuss. I was looking to find answers myself a while back, but found very little sites that address us girls. So i started my own blog to talk about marriage. Check it out, get comfortable with the place and hopefull you'll find it useful to you.
www.questfortherightone.blogspot.com Quest Dec 06, 2008 Rating Ethnic Background for Marriage by: Saqib.Admin Islam considers all human beings equal whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims. However, one who is pious stands better in the eyes of Allah. In Muhammad (PBUH) life slavery was a social evil. The slaves were not considered even human being what to talk about dignity or ethnic backgrounds. As far as marriage in Islam is concerned there is no such bar which stops two people from different ethnic backgrounds to marry.
As far as consent of parents is concerned, it is definite for some people but not required at all for some others. In my opinion it depends upon the existing law of your country. If law permits a marrying Muslim couple without permission of their parents, it is not required at all. However, if the law requires you to get consent of your parents then it is mandatory.
Dec 02, 2008 Rating Please help a sister by: Anonymous Salam all, I am so in love with this man who is from a different ethny than mine in africa. My parents are not for our union. I understand that a muslim woman cannot get married with a non-muslim.
but people join Islam everyday. What did the prophet (PBUH) say about ethnies and equality? What did he (PBUH) say about parents consent? I am an alert adult and I think that God prones equality. Does it mean that my boyfriend is lower than me because he's from a lower class ethnical group. am I a better person than him because he's from this group. I love him so much and our personality matches so well.
I can't see myself without him in my life. Isn't it God that has made that we met? If we are meant to each other isn't it God's will? isn't it destiny? Please help me out. thanks, Wa salam Return to
best date no marriage in islamic - Muslim Girls
Islam has various reasons to urge marriage such as its benefits in safeguarding one’s Faith and also because it is the only and an essential element in the proper and righteous upbringing of children and upspring. Marriage in Islam plays a major role in protecting a Muslim from the sins of adultery, masturbation and homosexuality. Marriage takes away the possibility of all evils and sins because after marriage a Muslim is supposed to engage himself with a life sharing partner he has married and vice versa.
Marriage is the Sunnah of our Noble Prophet (PBUH), as well as of the previous Noble Prophets (AS). As the statement of Allah, the Originator, the High is: “ And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad SAW), and made for them wives and offspring ” (Ar-Rad 13:38). Marriage linguistically means to unite and to bring together. The real literal meaning of marriage is to have sexual intercourse; and the metaphorical meaning of marriage is the bond of marriage.
The Muslim scholars defined marriage through various definitions, and one of these is: “Marriage is such a bond from which the act of sexual intercourse becomes lawful.” One who has adequate means to maintain a family should marry. Marrying ensures modesty and chastity which is vital for a healthy social life. Islam prescribes matters that contain good benefits both in this world and in the Hereafter and among the greatest benefits of marriage are the following: • Obeying the Prophet (PBUH) and carrying out his Sunnah, because the Prophet (PBUH) said: “ O young people!
Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry. ” (Al-Bukhari 5065). • Marriage guarantees physical and spiritual chastity and peace of a person and keeps the couple away from the pitfalls and temptations of the Satan. Chastity is one of the praise-worthy attributes of the believers as Allah (SWT) mentioned it in the following verse: “And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)” (Al-Muminun 23:5). • Through marriage the couples achieve mutual affection, mercy and love.
Allah (SWT) says: “And He has put between you affection and mercy ” (Ar-Rum 30:21). • Through marriage the couple will have righteous offspring. It is the survival of generation and it results in obtaining great and good rewards by having righteous children.
Having righteous children or upbringing them on the principle of the Islamic Shariah may, however, be considered among the best form of charity as the Prophet (PBUH) said: “When a person dies his deeds discontinue, except for three things: Ongoing charity, knowledge which people benefit from, and a righteous son who prays for him.” (Muslim 1631).
• Marriage is the mean of receiving great rewards for both couples through spending on their children, guarding their chastity, helping them in their problems, protecting them from harms and difficulties and treating them with kindness as the Prophet (PBUH) said: “No man earns anything better than that which he earns with his own hands, and what a man spends on himself, his wife, his child and his servant then it is charity.” (Ibn Majah 2138).
To avoid spending on one’s wife and children is miserliness and stinginess which is condemnable. But to keep fulfilling unreasonable legal and illegal needs of the family is also extravagance and squandering, which are both disliked.
• The couples also will gain good rewards through having children, upbringing them in accordance with the Islamic teachings, being patient while educating them and making them ones who will call others to the true religion of Islam. • Through marriage Allah (SWT) will enrich the couples and will bless their livelihood.
Allah (SWT) says: “And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Salihun (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves).
If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people).” (An-Nur 24:32).
• By marrying and fulfilling the rights of the husband, the believing woman will enter Paradise. • By having righteous children, the couples will receive good and great rewards in this world and after their death, because righteous children are ongoing charity. • A righteous wife is the better provision of this world. The Prophet (PBUH) said: “This world is but provision, and there is no provision in this world better than a righteous wife.” (Muslim 1469). The righteous wife is a great favor, because she proves to be a good advisor in worldly matters; she is a good life partner and she assists her husband in matters of the Hereafter; thus both achieve high ranks.
On the other hand, the righteous husband is a great favor for the wife too. In short, the greatest benefit of marriage is protection against a sinful life and the fulfillment of sexual desire through lawful means.
This great benefit is the main objective of marriage and should be focused upon at the time of marriage; other benefits will then be achieved thereafter.
Recommended Readings: • •
What is a dating? According to Cambridge Dictionary, a dating is an activity that regularly people spend time with someone they have a romantic relationship with. What is the meaning by a romantic relationship? From the definition about dating, we can see many examples of some activities that people do while dating nowadays. Doing some ‘romantic’ activities is a perfect plan for them to waste their time together.
We can find many couples do dating everywhere. They usually take some advantages from holiday and weekend. A girl will not think several times to accept their boyfriend asking to date. In this era, it is not surprise if we see a boy and his girlfriend do dating in public area. The society will also not disturb them and seem like do nothing of this situation. It looks like habitual daily activity that is not taboo anymore.
For the result, pregnancies before marriage often occur in our surrounding. Who will be blamed in this condition? Many factors involve this condition actually. Using of internet, watching the vulgar content of television program, and decreasing moral value in our societies become the top three of some that factors.
You may also read: • • Verses in Al-Quran About Dating As we know, Indonesia is the country with the largest number of Muslims in the world.
We also have known in the Al-Quran there are many verses about dating. For instance, you may check surah Al-Isro : 32, surah An-Nur : 2-3, and surah Al-Furqan : 68 – 69. There are a lot of verses in Al-Quran that ban dating before marriage. But surprisingly, mostly Muslims do date before marriage. From teenager till adolescent are not shy anymore to date in public. Why could it be occurred? We cannot blame just from one side, from the activists may be. We have to think clearly that this situation could not be occurred if the societies still hold Al-quran values in their daily activities.
In Islam, if someone wants to know more about someone who he is falling in love with, and wants to ask her to marry, he can do Ta’aruf.
It seems like an activity that introducing a woman and a man who have an intention to marry but they shouldn’t meet each other without their Mahrom and also it also has time limitation. Recently, Ta’aruf is already well known by many people. They who are in the romantic relationship with someone finally decide to break, change their relationship with the name of Ta’aruf.
Unfortunately, they just change the name without change the content. They still do date, meet in the outside or in the house, seduce each other, and another type of ‘romantic’ activities. Moreover, some teenagers from 12 till 15 who don’t have an intention to marry also do the same. They call their love with “Loving By Allah” and do Ta’aruf become the halal way to deliver their feeling with someone that they love with. Also read: Dating Rules in Islam For you who want to marry someone, don’t be afraid, don’t be worry, because Islam has given us the right rules to do introducing with your choice.
How can we do this? 1. Control Your Own Feeling Falling in love with another is normal. Islam also tells people to love every creature. If you have special feeling with someone, you have to think whether it will be told or not. Telling someone about your feeling has own risk. May you will be accepted or rejected.
In Islam if you have special feeling with someone the only way to make it halal relationship is by marriage. But if you don’t ready yet, fasting is the best way to control your lust. 2. Do The Right Taaruf You have stable income, enough knowledge, and have special feeling with someone, what should you do? Should you tell her about your feeling, do dating for some times, then decide to marry her or may break the relationship?
The ending of the romantic relationship are to break or to marry. If finally you break, it means you break your partner’s heart.
Firstly you make her fly then other day you pain her heart deeply. How hurt your action is! In the other side, if you decide to end your relationship by marrying her, is that any guarantee for you to make your marriage happily ever after? Many evidences we can found in this real life. Couples who were in the relationship in several years, then decided to marry, they force only in several months.
So, what are the advantages of dating before marriage? Some people will answer to know more about your partner, doesn’t it? But, after regarding some true stories about it, can the dating before marriage play those roles? Absolutely no. So, what can you do to make sure that you have chosen the right girl?
Islam tells us to do Taaruf. Is it the same as dating? Big no is the answer. Look at some activities in the Taaruf as the basic of Islamic dating rules: 3. Follow your feeling or try to get If you have a special one that you want to marry with, so you can skip this part and next to the second one. But, if you don’t have a certain girl yet, while you have already to marry, please pay attention to this part. Asking for help to people that you trust and know well to look for your girl, or you can make a proposal consists of your biography then ask them to give it to a girl who they are recommended.
The girl will do the same, or you can get the information from your people. Based on the basic information, you and she can make a decision whether you want to continue to the next steps or not. If you or she will not, so you will stop in this step.
But if both of you will, you can continue to the next steps. 4. Dating in Ta’aruf The next step after both of you are ready to continue is dating. Which kind of dating that is allowed in Islam? Although you have a good intention, you also should do in the right way.
Let’s check it out: • Before marrying her, you should know and may ask some questions about general to emphasize your feeling. But, the requirement is you and her are not allowed meet without mahrom. You can go with your friends, family, or people who you trust to. She also has the same right. In this meeting both of you can ask everything that is important to your future marriage.
No like an usual dating that you can have no limitation to have the relationship, this step has limitation time that is decided by you and her in the first meeting. Usually people decided the longest time is about three months.
If you or she feels that there is no match and don’t want to continue, you or she can stop in this step. You also have to get permission from your parents, so does the girl has to give her parents the information about you.
If your parents or hers don’t allow, it is better for you to stop the Taaruf. • If both of you get the match, you can continue to the next level, or it called Khitbah in Islam. You should come to her parents and asking for permission. If you have proposed her you still don’t allow meet her without mahrom.
In this step, both of your family and hers can discuss your marriage. 5. The Halal Dating After you have passed all of steps, you can marry her. You can do dating after that. Dating after marriage is sweeter than before, you and she can do anything. Moreover, more you express your feeling with her more you will get reward from Allah.
The sin that you can get from dating before marriage you can change become reward by dating after marriage. How wonderful it is. The Advantages Dating Rules in Islam The Islamic dating rules give for us, exactly have many advantages. These are: Sponsors Link 6. Keep your purity As I said before, if you don’t ready yet to marry, fasting is the best way to control your lust. It will keep not only purity of your body but also your heart. It also will distance you from immorality of dating.
May you can trust yourself or your boy/girlfriend self, but of course devil cannot be trust right? Even though devil is always support you to violate Allah rules, and as we know dating before marriage is also violate Allah rules. 7. Distance you from hurt Unrequited love, breakup, jealous and other things about the hurt of ‘romantic’ relationship often make you weak, sad, even you can think logically.
Dating before marriage will give you those hurt. Although, the happiness will be presented first that make you think if wonderful romantic relationship will you get till the end. You are strongly wrong, have relationship without any engagement will hurt both of you.
8. Keep your friendship As a social creature, human need another to survive and stay alive. But when you in ‘romantic’ relationship with someone, mostly you will have limited time to your other friends. The worst possible is when your girl/boyfriend is protective.
You may not be allowed to take your time to another. How terrible it is. Furthermore, if finally you break with him/her, can you still act like before? Certainly no, doesn’t it? You lost your love and also your friend. Both of you hurt each other exactly. When you have known the risk of taking the ‘romantic’ relationship, why do you still do?
So I can say, that you boy deliberately hurt your special one, and you girl deliberately allow someone to hurt your heart. If You still Don’t Ready To Marry But the problem is, how if you are falling in love with someone, but you still don’t ready to marry her.
Her face appears every time in your mind. You cannot focus in your work, just want to meet or even see her. Totally you think illogical. Besides, you are still teenager or there are some factors that are not allowed you to marry.
What should you do? 9. Getting closer to Allah According to me before, having special feeling with another is normal. But it doesn’t mean that the only way to express your love is by dating with her. If you don’t ready yet to get responsible to marry her, it’s better to you to leave her. Getting closer to Allah may will help you to forget her, control your emotion and your feeling.
You can express your feeling by obey Allah rules, because your love of Allah will give you confidential and other advantages. You can try to do Dhuha prayer for example, you can do from 06.30 till 11.00 a.m. One day one Juz program is also effective. You will spend more time to read Al-Quran every day. Not only can forget your feeling, this way also gives you a comfort feeling. What are the other advantages by getting closer to Allah?
You will see how big Allah’s love to us as the creature, what Allah have given to us, and how our feedback to all of Allah’s kindness. If we have considered about that, will we still think about another? Of course we will do everything to obey Allah rules, as our thanks to Allah.
Remember the following Qudsi hadith, about the importance of being assured to Allah SWT. “I am always in accordance with the conjecture of my servant to Me, and I always accompany it when he remembers me, and if he remembers to me in his soul, then I remember him in My substance, and if he remembers me In a crowded place, I remember him in a better place than he, and if he comes closer to me a inch I get closer to him a cubit, and when he approaches a cubit, I draw near to him one fathom, and if he comes to me by walking, I Will come to him by running fast “(Hadith Qudsi).
It means, to get everything in this world, getting closer to Allah is the best way. Sponsors Link 10. Focus on your dream As young people, you have many dreams for your future, right? Even though you waste your time with your girlfriend, it’s better to you to focus in what you are dreaming for.
Because your dreaming cannot be exist with a blink of an eye. You should do your best effort to catch it. You may do some activities that will help you to get your dream.
No matter what will be, your main job as children is to make your parents happy and proud of you. Because parental blessing is the God’s blessing.
Don’t make them disappointed with you. Prove that you are useful to be their child. If you get your dream, not only your parents but also your surrounding will proud of you.
You will become the useful people in your society, it is precious to your life. It will also be one way to make your looking for mate easier. At least, you are ready from economical factor.
So, be patient to get the best result. Every effort has their own reward, if it is not come now may it will come in your future. 11. Do positive activities Improve your skill, do your hobbies and may do some business. While you prepare to pick your mate, what you have to do is spend your time with positive activities.
Don’t waste your time, or regret will come to you. The secret leak of the soul mate is in the surah An Nur verse 26: “Bad women for bad men, and bad men are for bad women too. A good woman for a good man and a good man for a good woman. (Q An Nur: 26) This verse motivate us to be the better one. In the end of the day, Islamic dating rules must be followed from their belief, but we can always spread love in the world.
If we are talking about mate, there is no guarantee that someone is our true mate or not. So, we should believe that God always give the best for us. Dating before marriage is a form of your distrust to Allah. You are worry that Allah will give you the wrong girl. Because something good from your opinion may not good according to Allah perception. By do dating before marriage, you also have distance from Allah.
In the fact, the main goal of our life is to get God’s blessing. So, it is useless if we have all we ask but we don’t have God’s blessing, isn’t it? I hope after you read this article, you will have another point of view of dating before marriage.
Learn more about the right way to do Ta’aruf, and get married in God’s blessing. Also read: • • • • In case you ever heard, always spread love on every corner!
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