Never Call To Verify Dates - Продолжительность: 10:38 Coach Corey Wayne 12 962 просмотра Date Is Tomorrow But He Hasn't Confirmed Plans - Продолжительность: 1:05 DatingLogic 10 412 просмотров.
OK, this is a question on which LS could really be helpful. On Tuesday the guy I've been seeing for two months asked me on date for some time tonight after canceling our Tuesday date because he was sick (which he genuinely was, I have evidence ). He asked me twice, and seemed sincere about wanting to go, and I agreed. We didn't set a time or place, though, and he has yet to confirm. It's 8 am here.
I should add that I'm thinking of breaking things off with him anyway. Long story, but we're not exclusive because he doesn't want to be (apparently with anybody), and I'm realizing that it's too painful for me to continue to see him knowing he may be seeing other people. But I do want to see him tonight, at least to break things off in person if that's what I decide.
The fact that he hasn't confirmed our date yet is also pushing me over the fence into breakup territory. I mean isn't it a bit ridiculous at this point, or am I overreacting? At what point today would it become rude for him to not have contacted me yet? And if he reaches that point, would it be appropriate for me to send something like: "Hey, I haven't heard from you about our date tonight, so I'm assuming it's not happening." Or is that too passive aggressive?
I want to sound mature but also communicate that I'm pissed. I dunno, but 8am is still early if a tentative time had already been set (say, Sunday night). I, at least, wouldn't have been awake at all at 8am on a Sunday.
Here's a novel idea: Why not just wait and see? If he doesn't confirm in time, break up with him. If he does, go with the flow? Note: I don't agree with the ways he is treating you in other aspects of the relationship. But as that isn't in the topic, I'm sticking to the topic instead.
I get the impression that there is some ongoing drama with you and/or this specific person? But I haven't read any of your other threads, so apologies if this advice is completely out in left field... If you've been seeing this guy for 2 months, why can't you contact him? Is there some reason you can't text/call him and say something along the lines of "Looking forward to our date, what time are we meeting?" (yes, what you wrote in the OP is passive aggressive), or "Not sure if you planned anything yet for our date today, but I'm really excited about this restaurant/exhibit/coffee shop/window shopping/whatever, maybe we can check that out?" If you're pissed that he hasn't confirmed your date yet, and you want him to know...I suppose you could just cancel the date yourself - "Hey, I haven't heard from you about our date tonight, so I made other plans.
Maybe some other time." Which is still kind of passive aggressive, but sounds way less bratty (IMO) than "...so I guess it's not happening." Would have been better if you had taken some initiative and asked him what the deal was yesterday or even the day before. Much better alternative than leaving yourself in limbo like this. ...unless you enjoy letting your schedule completely revolve around a guy. Just shoot him a text sometime when you know he'll be up and ask him if you're still on for later.
Done. If you're satisfied w his answer, go. If not, move on. Highly recommend you start making plans of your own in the mean time though. IMO, since he has not confirmed time and place at this late hour, he has forfeited his opportunity. You now have an open book for other potentials and plans. Exercise your options.
If he calls, merely express your regrets. I would say the same thing to him if you had been the one asking him out on a future, yet nebulous, date. The person asking bears the responsibility. It would have taken him a minute to call you and 'hey, looking forward to seeing you on Sunday. I'd like to take you to xxx and I'll pick you up at xxx.' 8 AM is very early. Wait until about noon and then text or call him and see if you are still on and what the plans are.
Actually I'd assume we are still on (as he DID ask you out) and say something like "Hey there, what are the plans for today?" and see what happens. I don't see anything wrong w/ you confirming.
I do see something wrong w/ sitting around all day wringing your hands over whether or not you are going to see him. Find out for yourself well, it's 12:30 pm and I still haven't heard from him.
I'm surprised. I expected better from him. I think I'll not contact him and if he gets in touch with me last minute I'll let him know I'm sorry, I made other plans.
But you're still in limbo. I have a feeling that if you don't proactively settle this yourself, you're gonna be checking your phone every five minutes to see if he's called/texted you. This is ultimately going to lead to you feeling like sh*t at the end of the day when you see that 1.
he hasn't and 2. you're not going to get the chance to vindicate yourself - and the fact that you essentially waited on this guy all day - by blowing him off. Just settle it and be done. But you're still in limbo. I have a feeling that if you don't proactively settle this yourself, you're gonna be checking your phone every five minutes to see if he's called/texted you.
This is ultimately going to lead to you feeling like sh*t at the end of the day when you see that 1. he hasn't and 2. you're not going to get the chance to vindicate yourself - and the fact that you essentially waited on this guy all day - by blowing him off. Just settle it and be done. Actually, I just did. I sent him an email that said, "Haven't heard from you, so I've made other plans." Similar Threads Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post CD111 Dating 8 13th July 2009 7:08 AM gabar1 Long-Distance Relationships 0 27th February 2007 12:20 PM Guest General Relationship Discussion 2 30th December 2006 1:46 PM alex200 Dating 6 4th September 2006 7:41 PM VirginiaBob Dating 6 9th January 2005 2:55 PM Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice.
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best date should i call him to confirm our date tonight - Topic: Should the lady confirm the date?
It's Monday and you're talking on the phone with a nice guy you're interested in. After some chit-chat he finally asks you out on a date. It goes something like this: Nice Guy: Want to go out for dinner Saturday night? You: Yeah! That'd be great. Nice Guy: Cool, I'll call you later in the week to firm up the plans.
I'm looking forward to it. You: Me too. Talk then. [Click.] You like him, and you're looking forward to Saturday. In fact, you're already wondering what you're going to wear and what you're going to talk about. Wednesday there's no call.
Thursday . Friday morning comes, and you wonder, You’re disappointed or maybe even a little mad. You're fretting over . You text your friend or your coach and ask, "? " Unfortunately, this is a common situation — especially when you're meeting men via online dating. Here's my answer when clients come to me and ask, "Should I call him?" No, .
I know it’s difficult to wait — kind of painful even. But he asked you out and, although it was up in the air about the details, it was set to do a particular thing on a particular night. That's a date, right? Wait and see what he does. This is what you might call "love, on purpose" — choosing specific behaviors and actions to help you more confidently navigate those dating and relationship waters. Whether a man keeps his word is, of course, extremely important.
It’s on your list as a must-have. You want him to know you’re serious about finding a man whose word you can trust and that you respect yourself and expect him to as well. What's as important is letting him take the lead, especially at the beginning. The woman who texts or calls "just to confirm" sends the signal that she's willing to accept him even if he doesn't come through with his promises. And you are NOT that woman. That woman also says "yes" when he calls on Friday afternoon for a Friday evening date.
She's the woman he plays with, not the one he marries. I'm not saying that if , you should forget about him. Something may have come up out of the ordinary that prevented him from coming through. But it's important to see what he's going to do without prompting. Hold tight! This is where you set the pace for all that comes next. By the way, there's a way to avoid this in the future.
When he asks if you want to go out and then says he’ll call later in the week, tell him this very kindly: "I really want to go out with you, but my schedule is pretty hectic this weekend. [Make sure you qualify that it's this weekend so he doesn't get the impression you're so busy that you won't have time for him.] It'd be great if we could make our dinner plans now. That way we can be sure it works out. Would that be okay with you?" If he's serious about getting to know you, he'll spend the extra few minutes it takes to make a plan, or he'll commit to when he's going to call back with details.
If he , it gives you some valuable insight. Maybe he isn't serious about dating and . People, including my clients, ask me all the time whether I offer dating and relationship coaching for men.
I don't. But I tell them that I help men by helping women. (It really is ALL about you!) One of the most transformational ways I support women is by helping you better understand GROWN-UP men. Just like you and me, the men you're dating have lived and learned. I’ve spoken to countless single men over the years about their experiences with women, especially those in their 40s, 50s and beyond so that I can fully support you in your journey toward your own grownup and find that space where you are coming to your relationships with love, on purpose.
Unless this man is in a dangerous line of work, you absolutely shouldn’t be worried about someone who is acting unresponsive in the initial stages of your relationship. Instead, you should be seeing this as a sign of his interest, level of thoughtfulness and reliability. I can’t state that he’s playing you, but it’s safe to assume that he’s busy or possibly dating others and hasn’t made you his top priority.
I would advise you to stop worrying about him and always initiating contact, and you should also consider lowering his level of significance in your thoughts and priority list. Most men eagerly “hunt” for what they prize, and it doesn’t sound like he’s aggressively pursuing you (for whatever reason). Continuing to pursue him and always being the initiator could cause him to view you as easy prey to take advantage of, so I wouldn’t ask him about tonight’s date and would make other plans if you haven’t heard from him hours before the agreed-upon time.
If he never contacts you but it was due to something that came up, he should call or send you an apology, and at that time you can inform him that your time is precious and he needs to understand that when you make your time available that you expect him to communicate properly. have you texted him if you're still on tonight? If you have been texting him and he hasn't responded then maybe he got in a accident and can't or he’s not interested anymore.
If it's the later then it's good you find out now before you’ve invested too much of your heart into him. If he really was interested but he lost his phone, he could still email you. Any other reason that keeps him busy will not stop him from saying “can't wait to see you tonight” “my dads in the hospital need to reschedule”.
If he can't be a man and tell you he’s not interested before leading you on by scheduling date #4, then it's good you found out now. You said that he seemed into you, but were you? He could have gotten the sense that you weren't and pulled back. Oops I just saw your sub text. Does he look at his phone a lot when you're with him? Either way you're still in your courting period when he's on his best behavior.
If he doesn't try to woo you, let you know that he's thinking of you, not just when he gets ur text I would move on. Worst case scenerio he's using you.
But if he wasn't you're in for a lonely relationship if he’s already behaving this way. Try to contact him another way - email or phone and leave a message. Or pm on Facebook? Whatever way you think he is more likely to see it. If you still haven’t heard back by mid-afternoon, I would write him off.
If he contacts you last minute and still wants to get together, tell him “I’m sorry, but I didn’t hear back from you, so I made other plans. But maybe we could try for another night. What night is good for you?” It could be that something legit happened like he lost his phone or had a family emergency. But it’s also possible that he has a chance to see someone he is more interested in and doesn’t want to commit to the plans with you until the last minute, in case his other plans don’t work out.
If you don’t hear from him within a few days, send him one last text to say “I thought we had plans for Wednesday night, what happened?” Include your name at the end of the text in case he really did lose his phone. If you don’t hear back or he’s acting shady, move on…
3 Texting Secrets Men Can't Resist - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy