Here are 5 perfectly lovely questions to ask a pregnant woman instead A strong encouragement to subject yourself to ALL THE TESTS EVER INVENTED. Because of that last perk, at 12 weeks pregnant, I took a blood test that screens for chromosomal abnormalities. All results came back normal. Phew. But the test has another feature. Instead of having to wait for the typical 20-week ultrasound, this blood test can tell you the gender of your baby. A full two months early! You can opt not to find out, of course, but we checked the gender box to find out.
For many people, putting together a dating profile is the easy bit (although believe me, there are plenty who find this task nearly impossible). They even think that chatting in emails or on the phone isn’t so bad either but when it comes to actually going out on a date — the very reason they were online dating in the first place — this is where they panic. Seriously. They worry they’ll get found out (whatever that means) or that they’ll get tongue-tied and have nothing to say.
They fear they aren’t interesting and will bore their date, hence make a fool of themselves. These thoughts are actually real to them.
But let me tell you something: it’s just thoughts, and your thoughts aren’t facts. The fear is real, I get that, I’ve felt it many times! You are anxious and going out on a date with a relative stranger can feel awkward. Remember that your counterpart is likely to be as nervous as you though, even if they don’t look it! As a coach I listen a lot more than I talk, it’s the nature of what I do. It’s also a strategy that works well if you find yourself nervous. People, on the whole, love talking about themselves.
So, to take the pressure off, arm yourself with some great questions to ask your date. Remember that genuine interest makes all the difference. You don’t need to have all the answers to all the questions on your first date either. There is beauty in peeling back the layers and getting to know someone, it’s something that really could end up taking a lifetime!
Here are 17 questions I’d love to have been asked when out on a date: • What’s one thing you wish you’d known 20 years ago? • What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given? • If you didn’t live where you currently live and you could choose anywhere in the world where would it be and why? • Who’s your role model? Who inspires you? • Who’s your best friend and what do you love about him/her? • What are you reading at the moment? • What’s your favourite way to spend the weekend? • What do you do for fun?
• What was the last film you watched that moved you/made you laugh out loud/inspired you? • Who has had the greatest influence on your life so far? (Parent/grandparent/schoolteacher/boss/colleague?) • What are 5 things you couldn’t do without? (Not oxygen, water, world peace! They might be things you carry in your handbag/purse at all times!) • What’s your dream job if you’re not currently doing it? • Where do you go when you want to feel calm/happy/peaceful? • Tell me something about yourself that might surprise me.
• What’s your proudest moment in your life so far? • If you had 24 hours to do whatever you liked in your city what would you spend it doing?
• What’s the greatest risk you’ve ever taken? Follow Rebecca Perkins on Twitter
best date test questions to ask a woman on first day of period - 21 Questions To Ask a Girl (In Real Life / Over Text)
Engaging in small talk with anyone can be a little nerve-racking — you’re on an improv stage for two, and have to think of things to say on the fly, avoid awkward silences, and come off as at least moderately charming to boot.
Engaging in small talk on a first date can be especially anxiety-ridden. While unspoken, you’re being actively evaluated on your attractiveness (both in personality and looks). It’s like a “job” interview for the position of potential significant other. Ace it, and it could be the start of a lifelong love affair.
Blow it, and you might never see that someone special again. No pressure, right? As an aid in being successful at this kind of high-stakes small talk, you can find plenty of lists out there which suggest good questions to ask someone on a first date.
These lists tend to fall into two categories: basic, stock questions (“Where are you from?” “What do you do for fun?”), and more unique, out-there questions (“If you could only bring 3 things with you on a desert island, what would they be?”). The problem with the first set of questions is that they’re boring; if someone is dating a lot, they get tired of being asked if they like their job and how many siblings they have.
The problem with the second set, is that they can seem pretty random — and overly scripted — if you just drop them into conversation. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be an either-or equation. There’s a better way to ask first date questions that incorporates both types of them. You do use the basic, stock questions — common though they are, they form a comforting ritual that puts people at ease.
But, you use them as jumping off points, which allow you to segue into more interesting questions. This approach strikes a nice balance between seeming like you’re trying too little, and coming off like you’re trying too hard. You ask a standard stock question, and then act like your date’s response to that question just naturally made you think of another semi-related, more unique one. Of course, you had the question in mind already, and that’s okay.
The paradox of being charming is that in order to act natural, you actually have to be well-prepared; it’s not that people don’t know on some level that your repertoire is somewhat “scripted,” it’s just that if you execute it smoothly and engagingly enough, they don’t care, and enjoy coming along for the ride. How to Ask Better First Date Questions With the Standard-Question → Interesting-Follow-Up Method The beauty of the standard-question → interesting-follow-up approach is that it will take your first date conversations to places where you’ll indirectly get to know a whole lot about the other person, without directly — and awkwardly — having to ask them, “What is your deepest fear?” or “Where do you see yourself in five years?” While your questions should be thought-provoking, your partner should be able to answer them without missing too much of a beat; people feel dumb when they have to do the “Hmmm, boy, well, oooh, that’s a tough one” thing, and struggle to come up with a response.
A good gauge of whether a question hits the sweet spot is simply to ask yourself the question, and see if you both enjoy thinking about it and can pretty readily imagine how you’d respond. Also, remember that a conversation isn’t an interrogation — you don’t want to ask question after question without sharing anything about yourself. Your date will hopefully turn these questions back on you, and come up with ones of their own. If they don’t, though, pepper in some commentary about your own life; research has shown that people who reveal more about themselves () are liked more than those who are more guarded.
Of course, if your date is , it’s likely an ill omen of things to come. Finally, while the follow-up question doesn’t have to exactly relate to the standard question you first forward, obviously the more closely it does relate, the more natural the segue will be. So choose a follow-up in the moment, based on what your date has said, and connect it to something she offered in her response.
Standard Question: Where are you from originally? Interesting Follow-Ups: • Was it a fun place for a kid to grow up? As a child did you wish you lived somewhere else? • Other than that town/city, is there another place that feels like “home” to you? • If I was visiting your hometown, what’s the top thing you’d recommend seeing or doing? Standard Question: How many siblings do you have? Interesting Follow-Ups: • What was your “identity” in the family?
You know, some kids are the overachiever, or the goody-two-shoes, or the wild one, or the peacemaker. What was your M.O.? • Are/were you closer to one sibling in particular? • In what ways are you different from your siblings?
Standard Question: What brought you to this city? Interesting Follow-Ups: • What’s turned out to be the most different from the conceptions/expectations you had about this place before you moved here — what you imagined it would be like before you came?
• What’s your favorite thing about living here? • What’s one thing about this city you weren’t sure about at first, but have grown to appreciate? • What’s one downside of living here that you don’t think you’ll ever get used to? Standard Question: Where did you go to school? Interesting Follow-Ups: • Did college meet the expectations you had of what college would be like growing up? • What’s one thing you wished you had known going into college?
Do you have any regrets about how you did college? • What do you miss most about your college days? • When did you know what you wanted to major in? • Is your work now related to your major? • Have you stayed in touch with your high school/college friends? • How did you meet your best friend? • What would most surprise your high school/college friends about how you’ve changed since then?
• What do you think’s been the hardest part of becoming an adult? Standard Question: What do you do for work? Do you like it? Interesting Follow-Ups: • What’s lacking about your job that keeps it from being a dream job? • What are your hours/schedule like? Do you like that schedule or are you more of a morning person/night owl by nature? • What’s a part of your morning routine that helps you have a good day? • How do you like to unwind when you get home?
Standard Question: Do you have any favorite television shows? Interesting Follow-Ups: • What’s a television show you think got canceled too early? • What’s a show you watch when you can’t figure out what to watch? • Is there anything you could re-watch over and over again? Standard Question: What kind of music do you like? Interesting Follow-Ups: • What’s the best concert you ever attended?
Worst? • What’s the most embarrassing concert you’ve ever attended (e.g., One Direction, 10 th grade)? • What’s an album you never get tired of? • Is there a genre of music you loved in high school, that you now can’t stand? • What’s on your workout playlist? Standard Question: Read any good books lately? Interesting Follow-Ups: • What was your favorite book you had to read in high school?
• Are there any books you love so much you’ve read them twice (or more)? • Is there a book, that’s not necessarily your favorite, but that you find popping into your head the most often? Standard Question: Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do on the weekend? Interesting Follow-Ups: • What’s a hobby you’d really like to get into if money/time wasn’t an issue?
• What hobby did you pick up and drop the quickest? Standard Question: Do you like to travel? Have you taken any trips recently? Interesting Follow-Ups: • Is there a special place/destination you like to visit regularly/return to again and again? • Is there some place you visited that really disappointed your expectations? • Is there a place you visited that exceeded your expectations? • When you’re visiting a new city, what attraction do you have to visit first?
• If you had to live full-time in an RV or on a sailboat, which would you choose? • Would you prefer to take a vacation to the mountains or the ocean? Did you know that says people who prefer the mountains are more introverted and people who prefer the beach are more extroverted? Do you consider yourself more introverted or extroverted? Just a generally good question to ask: What’s something you’re looking forward to in the near future? Follow the standard-question → interesting-follow-up structure laid out above, and your conversations will flow smoothly, you’ll cover a lot of ground, and you’ll never run out of things to talk about on a first date!
Knowing can be nerve-wracking. Ideally, you both click and the conversation flows easily, but sometimes you have to have more of a plan of attack — and asking the right questions can make all the difference. "Don’t try to [wild] stories and facts about yourself; this will almost always backfire," tells Bustle. "You should rather learn how to engage, listen, and genuinely respond to your date.
This will make them feel valued and excited to see you again." But what kind of questions can you ask? Well, even on a first date you may be able to go deeper than you would think.
Don't shy away from personal or unusual questions, because those should actually be exactly what you're asking. "Asking questionswill not only get you the answers you need but will also make your date different than most dates [they've] been on," , a dating and relationship coach in NYC, tells Bustle. "[They'll] feel more connected to you because you asked questions to really get to know [them], rather than just getting [their] stats.
You'll build a connection much quicker if you come prepared with questions that are important to you." So here are some unexpected questions you should try on your first date — because it's best to get some things out on the open, right from the get-go. Sometimes, asking about someone else's viewpoint is really telling, even if we rarely think to do so. “Asking them about them provides them the safety of describing themselves from another person’s point of view,” relationship expert, Dr.
Karin Anderson Abrell, tells Bustle. “In addition, you get to learn about their friendships, which of course, ultimately says a lot about who they are.” Win-win. Another question that gets right down to the point. Jump in on the first date by asking about where they're at right now. "While it, you do want to ask the question, 'What are you looking for in a relationship?'" BetterHelp and tells Bustle. "While some might argue this is early, I would argue that this lets you know what page each of you are on, and if they are likely going to be headed in a similar direction, at a pace you can live with." You might as well get right down to it.
Another great first date question? One that helps you learn more about them, both by the content of their answer and the way they answer it. "What is your greatest achievement?" Salama Marine, psychologist, tells Bustle.
"This is a good opening personal question to discover something about the person you’re seeing without them being able to show off too much." One way to jump right in? Ask your date how they feel about monogamy or if they've ever been in an open relationship. "The question of monogamy is no longer a given," author and relationship expert tells Bustle. "You want to make sure you're on the same page while constructing your partnership foundation." Not only can you make sure you're on the same page with this question, whatever that page may be, you can also open up a dialogue about relationships and commitments more generally.
This is a silly question, but it's a lot of fun, too. "You can from the answer, or lack thereof," Crystal Rice, licensed therapist at , tells Bustle. "Do they really give the question the time of day and think through an answer? Is their answer focused on helping others? Is their power selfish in nature? Are they creative with their response, or do they go for the 'normal' stuff and then move on?" Just know they'll probably ask the question right back.
A first-date conversation doesn't have to be stilted or overly formal. Don't be afraid to ask the deep questions right from the very beginning. It will save you time and make the date way more interesting.
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