Date Your Spouse How-To Guide. We can all probably say that before we got married date night was a BIG deal! Whether you planned dinner at a nice restaurant, an adventurous outing or a romantic evening, preparing fun activities together was a top priority!. Date Night Questionnaire – Get on the same page with your “date” expectations. It can be tricky to figure out how to date your spouse again… let us walk you through it with this questionnaire. Date Night Idea Surveys – Figuring out what to do is half the battle! I’m sure that your idea of date night has changed over the years, so take some time to relearn what each others preferences are.
Posted at 14:12h in by Remember When? Do you remember how excited you were to date your spouse… before you were married? Do you remember the butterflies you had in your stomach when you would pick up the phone to call or you would stop by and see your spouse… before you were married?
Do you remember all the crazy things you would do to make your spouse happy… before you were married? Now you’re married. Are those butterflies still there? Do you still get excited when you see your spouse or even think about seeing them? Do you go out of your way to do something for them on a regular basis, just because?
I am going to assume you are one of the average married couples that has been married at least a couple of years and a lot of these feelings have slowed down or stopped completely by now. I assume you have stopped “dating” your spouse.
When did you stop? Why did you stop dating your spouse? Did you stop dating them, because you married them? I “pursued” (that sounds so much nicer than “stalked”) my wife, for a long time before we started officially dating. We were “just friends” for probably a year after she could even tolerate being around me. Once she gave in to the idea of going out – there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her.
I would answer her call morning, noon, or night – ready to please her in any way I could. I remember cutting flowers from every yard within a 2-mile radius of her house and leaving them on her front porch in the middle of the night (by the way, sometimes when you do that it draws the attention of a lot of ants – just an fyi). I would give her anything I thought would make her happy or drive out of my way to take her somewhere, or make up all kinds of excuses just to see her… before we were married.
From Butterflies to Bother This odd dating behavior continues on into the marriage, usually for a year or so (during the “honeymoon period”), but for some reason it eventually slows way down or just stops altogether for most of us.
Your spouse – the one you would have done anything for, the one that caused the butterflies in your stomach now seems to be more of a bother.
When does that switch get flipped from dating my spouse to my spouse being a bother? Do you ever ignore a call from your spouse – send them to voicemail? When did they become less important than anything else you are doing?
Do we complain when our spouse asks us to do something that really isn’t even out of our way, like pick up some bread on the way home from work or grab something for them while we are at the store that we were already planning on going to?
We may not complain out loud, but at some point the interaction with our spouse went from butterflies to bother. We used to look past those little “quirks” that we saw in our spouses and now they are “flaws” that irritate us – now we focus on them. Why does this happen? Why do we let it happen? No Need to Impress Any More Part of the problem is that once we are married, the chase is over – we won – we have “gotten what we wanted.” We don’t feel the need to dress up, or work out, or take as good of care of ourselves.
We aren’t worried about impressing our mates, because we “have them.” We take our spouses for granted so easily, so often. We stop looking for ways to please them and woo them like we did when we were dating. I don’t think it is so much a conscience decision – it really “just happens” – life happens. We get busy, we prioritize other things – but that doesn’t make it right. It “just happens,” because we allow it to.
Dating our spouse takes a lot of effort – maybe even more effort than it did before we were married. We have to be very thoughtful and purposeful while dating. Once we are married, we aren’t so purposeful about taking care of that all-to-important relationship with our spouse – shame on us.
Date Them Again… Here’s what I am going to suggest… I am proposing that we give dating another try – dating our spouses, not dating other people – that’s a whole separate series of articles.
🙂 Date your spouse! Because, here’s the thing – she is worth it – he is worth it. They were worth it before you married them and they still are. They might even be worth dating more now than they ever were before you were married, because now they also put up with you and all your flaws, too. Chances are, your spouse may feel the same way about you – they may have moved from butterflies to bother, too – they may have given up on wooing you as much as you have given up on them.
If your spouse doesn’t seem to be all that interested in dating you any more, you must assume that you are probably less dateable than you were X years ago. I know I am less dateable now than I was 20 years ago, for sure. I know it is a two-way deal here, but someone has to take the initiative. Even when you started dating – someone “made the move.” Normally two people don’t have the same desire to start dating at the exact same time.
You cannot blame your lack of desire to date your spouse on them not dating you. You need to start the dating again! …Before Someone Else Does So, here’s the scary part – we don’t want to think about it this way most of the time, but here is the reality… If you don’t date your spouse – there is always someone out there that would like to – and would probably do much better at it than you are or are not currently doing.
We all desire to be “dated.” We all want to feel pursued. We all want someone to show us affection. Why do you think there is so much “cheating” (adultery) in our society? A spouse is seeking affection and attention and maybe they aren’t receiving it from their husband or wife – someone outside of their marriage starts to treat them the way their spouse used to… before they were married, and before you know it, a relationship begins and not too long after… your spouse is making plans to leave you.
Don’t let that happen – don’t let that even be a thought it your spouses head. There are people out there that envy you – people that think you are the luckiest guy or girl in town, because you are married to . And you know what? They’re right. You’ve just forgotten that you are the luckiest person. There are people that would gladly date your spouse. And more than likely, there are people that would be much better at dating them then you would.
You must protect your relationship – you must make your spouse feel desired. You Are the Lucky One Make them feel like they are the only one on this planet that you want to be with. Remind yourself that you are the lucky one! Remind your spouse of why they fell in love with you – spoil them!
I know you’re thinking, “But, that takes effort, blah, blah, blah…” But, that little bit of effort is so worth it. Once you start truly dating your spouse again, generally they will want to date you right back and the reciprocal behavior is mutually rewarding for both of you. And then a good cycle starts. You treat them well, they will treat you well, and then you two start to try to outdo one another and everyone wins!
Your spouse is worth dating again! Suggestions Change your mindset – look at your spouse differently than you probably are right now. Desire them, pursue them, dress up, put makeup on, try to impress them, help out in the kitchen, say nice things to your spouse, tell them, “I love you!” Make date night a regular occurrence. Don’t let other things cancel your date night.
Make it special – not just running errands together. Show up with flowers every once in a while – just because. Go out of your way to do something. Be purposeful about dating! For some ideas on where to start try . Do something small – you’ll be surprised at the impact even the smallest effort makes. Start dating your spouse again!
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Date Your Spouse How-To Guide We can all probably say that before we got married date night was a BIG deal! Whether you planned dinner at a nice restaurant, an adventurous outing or a romantic evening, preparing fun activities together was a top priority! Things aren’t quite so easy anymore, we have kids, a house to take care of, jobs and other responsibilities.
We get lazy, tired and complacent with our relationship, and sometimes one spouse (or both!) loses enthusiasm. But dating each other AFTER marriage is SO important, and SO fun! It offers a break from the kids & the stresses of real life, and someone else usually cooks dinner… win-win-WIN! Even if you don’t have a big budget for sitters and evenings out, we want to help you remember how to date your spouse successfully and get them on board with date night! 215 Shares Some couples are a bit hesitant to start trying Date Night, or maybe you don’t know how to date your spouse successfully.
We put together this little pack to help get both of you on board, and make it possible! We gathered some ideas and tools to help you get a kick-start back into the dating game, and then turned them into a printable Date Night Guide – made adorable and eye-catching by our amazing designer Carisa from ! The “How to Date Your Spouse Guide” includes: • Date Night Basics Info – Discover the benefits of dating your husband or wife, and get some motivation for date night!
• Date Night Questionnaire – Get on the same page with your “date” expectations. It can be tricky to figure out how to date your spouse again… let us walk you through it with this questionnaire. • Date Night Idea Surveys – Figuring out what to do is half the battle! I’m sure that your idea of date night has changed over the years, so take some time to relearn what each others preferences are.
• Date Night Planning Guide– – This planner will help you prepare 2 weeks in advance and get everything ready for date night! Dating your husband or dating your wife is easy peasy when you’ve got everything mapped out in advance.
• Date Night Coupon IOUs – A little reward never hurt! Give your spouse a love coupon in exchange for them planning a great date night! • Date Night Gift Tags – Cute tags to attach to a date night gift! The Do’s & Don’ts for How To Date Your Spouse Again Date Your Spouse Questionnaire What does a date night look like in your mind? How often would you like to go out together? These are questions you might have different answers to, so they will start a great conversation and get you both having similar expectations how to kickstart date night again!
Date Your Spouse Surveys Figuring out what to DO for date night is half the battle! And if you don’t have any ideas, the time can be wasted trying to come up with a plan.
We have TONS of date night ideas in these surveys, and you can go through to pick and choose what sounds fun together! If you’re looking for a great date guide, this is it!
Date Your Spouse Planning Guide Wondering how to date your wife? Ready to get on board with dating your husband again? Great! We’ll walk you through how to do it all, step-by-step! The planning guide will help you pull off an awesome date, and let you know when to make reservations, find a babysitter and more! How To Date Your Spouse Coupon IOUs Maybe your sweetie isn’t super pumped about their turn to plan a date?
Hesitant or stressed about the idea? Well, a little extra lovin’ never hurt! Let your spouse know that they will be rewarded for their efforts with something sweet or sexy – give them a Date Night IOU! Gift Tags To Help Date Your Spouse Again It isn’t realistic to expect flowers and chocolates EVERY time you go out on a date, but at the beginning, little gifts can help to build the anticipation!
Even using something your spouse already owns, like their cologne/perfume or a favorite shirt can help them know you’ve put extra thought into this night.
Attach a sassy tag to your gift to start the night off right! I know I would be touched if my husband picked out an outfit and left a note on it. Before I was married, I remember being so excited to surprise my man with a fun group date to a color festival and was thrilled when he surprised me with tickets to the ballet for my birthday.
Now, a lot of our weekend nights are Netflix on the couch, which is definitely relaxing, but doesn’t leave much time to connect! There’s just not as much time and energy to focus on each other… which is hard! This printable dating guide for spouses with help you get back into the swing of dating and remember HOW to date your spouse! Once you start, you’ll be hooked and your marriage will thank you!
So give it a go- Get the How To Date Your Spouse Guide for just $6.97! If that’s not awesome enough… we’re offering a crazy-good deal including one of our favorite date sets! TAKE BACK DATE NIGHT BUNDLE Bring back those lovin’ feelings with the amazing Date Night Guide AND our 52 Dates for Two album! This will give you a date night for every week of the year, along with all the tools to make it happen!
Buy the Take Back Date Night Bundle for just $10! We have even MORE resources to all of your Date Night hurdles! Check out these articles: About the Author: I'm a happy gal who's lucky enough to have the sweetest, goofiest, most handsome husband, and two darling little girls!
I try to stay positive, look for the best in others and my highest priorities are my faith, family and friends. Some of my favorite things include cuddling (I wish it was my full-time job!), yoga, DIY home projects, donut hunting, bike rides, parties, picnics and trying new recipes.
I have a serious sweet tooth and will do anything to get to sunshine & the beach! 72 Articles written by
Start Dating Your Spouse Again (Part 2) , I talked about how incredibly easy – and disastrous – it is to stop dating your spouse. Then, we spent some time looking at the obstacles in our way so we can deal with them with both honesty and hope. This time, we talk about how you can overcome those obstacles so you can move toward (and even beyond) the intimacy that you enjoyed before.
Your Plan For Moving Forward If you’re convinced that you need more consistent, quality and uninterrupted time with your spouse – despite – what can you actually do about it? • Talk to God about it first. Ask him for forgiveness if you need to.
Admit that you’ve drifted into feeling cold toward your spouse, given too much time to work, or (fill-in-the-blank) if that’s where you are. Beg him for another sitter or creative ideas. And ask him for courage and grace to talk to your spouse.
• Talk to your spouse. If you need to have an honest conversation with your spouse about making a change, do it. Depending on where your relationship is, it may be just a quick ‘hey, I miss getting out alone with you, let’s do something about it’. If your marriage is or icy, you may need to talk about counseling or at least address the growing coldness between you. For smaller, practical changes to work long-term, having these deeper, honest conversations with the Lord and our spouses are absolutely essential.
• Identify the obstacles. Think about what’s holding you back. Is a sitter? Not enough money? Don’t know what you’d talk about anyway? Working too much? Brainstorm a list of anything and everything that’s getting in the way. Ask your spouse, too. • Prioritize the obstacles.
Unless you enjoy cycling between deep depression and laughing like a hyena, you can’t tackle everything at once. My suggestion is to begin by picking one deeper obstacle and a more practical one. For example, my wife and I have been much busier recently, which has made regular time together hard. I need to ask what that may be saying about our hearts. (Are we finding our value in helping others?
Are we afraid of disappointing them by saying ‘no’?) But, we may also need to find another sitter. • Make a small beginning. Now that you know what’s most in the way, just take a small step forward.
You don’t need a Master Plan. If there are more systemic issues, it might be agreeing that you need outside help and calling a counselor by the end of the week. Or, if you just don’t have much time and money, it might be blocking out next Thursday night and renting something on Netflix.
• Ask a friend for help. If you struggle with follow through, invite a trusted friend to pray for you and check in. ‘Hey, I really want to spend more time with my wife, but I’m having a hard time actually doing it. I want to plan something for us in the next two weeks. Will you pray and shoot me a text in a week or so to see how it’s going?’ This is just a starting point. You may want to tweak this in a way that better fits you (ideas welcome). A Marriage Promise God has given you everything you need to move forward.
He , and he’s for you. We’ve all seen Jeremiah 29:11 before, but sometimes I wonder if we’ve become inoculated by its familiarity. God wants it to infuse real, living hope into our entire lives, including our marriages: ‘For I know the plans I have for [your marriage],’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give [your marriage] a future and a hope’.
In the actual passage, ‘you’ stands in place of ‘your marriage’. God is telling his people that he means to fill their entire lives with his goodness and hope, even though they were in exile at the time. Their marriages were included in this promise of hope. Will we take God at his word for our own marriage? With God’s help, the best days of your marriage lie ahead of you.
Let’s take a step back, see what’s in the way, and move forward with his help. What are the biggest deeper, and practical, obstacles standing in the way of getting quality, uninterrupted time with your spouse? What one step would help you most move forward toward that goal?
How to Date Your Spouse Printable Date Night Guide