Best dating a guy friend with his ex girlfriend

best dating a guy friend with his ex girlfriend

Your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend already shortly after the breakup. You are feeling sick to your stomach because you're still in love with him. And all you can think of is how to get your ex back and start afresh. So, here's the best way It is absolutely necessary that you don’t ask him out on a date That’s because being friends with him while he stays with his new girlfriend is not good for your emotional and mental health. After you have spent enough time with him and he still haven’t made a decision, you have to be upfront about your intentions and tell him what you want. You will have to ask him to choose between you and the new girl. Tell your ex that you can’t be friends with him if he chooses to be with the new girl because it’s too hard for you.

best dating a guy friend with his ex girlfriend

Whether he's your best friend or a potential boyfriend, helping the guy you care about overcome his feelings for his ex will help him move forward in life.

The goal might be a frustrating one for your friend to strive for, and it won't be reached overnight. After all, the person your friend is stuck on once played a big role in his life. Adopt several strategies that can help your friend break his stubborn connection with the past.

Help your friend minimize the time he spends around his ex-girlfriend. Whenever he is tempted to call or text her, make your disapproval clear. Tell him he is only feeding the addiction. Also help him steer clear of locations that his ex-girlfriend usually visits.

For example, if he usually runs into her at the gym, help him find a new place to get his workout in or set new times for exercising. Help your friend find a goal that will keep his mind off his ex-girlfriend, suggests health psychologist Kelly McGonigal in the "Psychology Today" article "Science-Based Strategies for Getting Over Your Ex." For example, buy a new two-player video game that the two of you can either compete in or cooperate in to complete.

The more addicting the game, the better. You could also sign the two of you up for a new sport or school club. You don't necessarily need to drag your friend back into the dating world, but remind him that he has supportive friends and family, suggests dating coach Lori Pinkerton in the "Your Tango" article "Stuck on Your Ex?

Reasons and Hints to Help You Move On." If he seems stressed out, treat him to a movie with a group of friends. If he appears lonely, invite him over for dinner with your family. If he can't rely on a supportive social network, he might feel tempted to contact his ex.

Lack of closure, guilt, regret and longing are several reasons people hold onto the past, Pinkerton writes. Talk to your friend about the relationship and look for the source of his continued connection. You probably won't be able to help him solve past problems, but you can help him move toward acceptance. For example, if he brings up regrets about the relationship, such as saying he regrets not buying her flowers on Valentine's Day, remind him that the past is the past, and he can only use past mistakes to make for a better future.

About the Author Mitch Reid has been a writer since 2006. He holds a fine arts degree in creative writing, but has a persistent interest in social psychology. He loves train travel, writing fiction, and leaping out of planes.

His written work has appeared on sites such as Synonym.com and GlobalPost, and he has served as an editor for ebook publisher Crescent Moon Press, as well as academic literary journals.


best dating a guy friend with his ex girlfriend

best dating a guy friend with his ex girlfriend - relationships


best dating a guy friend with his ex girlfriend

So you're a guy, let's call him Smeorge Shlooney, and everything is going great—except for one teeny, tiny, little hiccup: You're not always sure he's 100 percent over his ex. Before you get all paranoid on Smeorgey, consult our he's-so-not-over-her warning signs.

And remember: Every relationship is different, so make sure to talk things over with your man before making any major relationship changes. Your man ended his previous relationship months ago, but it seems like every time you call him, he's out walking his ex-girlfriend's dog. Should you freak out? Not necessarily.

If they were together for a long time or they got the dog together, he might not miss her—he might miss the dog. But if she got the pup after they broke up, it could be a move on his part to get out of the doghouse with her. There's a big difference between wishing an ex happy birthday on Facebook and planning her big b-day fete. If they're still friends, and he wants to attend, there's probably no cause for concern (in fact, now's a good time to ask him to take you with), but if he's organizing the whole shebang, you may not be getting the full story.

You get it: The wedding is for mutual friends of your man, and his ex and he planned on going with her long before they broke up. Still, the thought of them traveling together, dancing together and potentially having one-too-many drinks together makes you nauseated. Our advice here is to tread lightly. Tell him your concerns, emphasizing that you trust him but that you would feel better about everything if he checked in every once in a while.

• While you don't want him singing her praises, any guy who constantly trashes his ex is probably not over her. The opposite of love is indifference. He shouldn't be wrapped up in hating her; he should be focusing on you. Besides, if he's OK talking about her that way, what's to say he won't do the same to you?

• She has a flat, he rushes to fix it. Her sink clogs, he runs over with Drano. On one hand, these are nice-guy things to do. On the other, at what point is this not his job anymore? If she broke it off with him, you may want to gently point out he's being taken advantage of. If he split with her, is this something he's doing out of guilt?

Ask to come along. His response will tell you exactly what you need to know. • When a couple dates for a while, it's normal for them to become close to each other's family and friends. So it may have seemed natural for him to call his ex when he found out, for instance, he was going to be an uncle. Yeah, it's a little weird, but as long as he told you about it first, you may want to let it go. If she got the call before you did, that's another story. We've all felt like we're competing with an ex.

Let's just say you've checked out her Facebook page only to find out she's kind of hot and has a great career and really good beachy hair.

You're allowed to hate her a little bit for this. But if he makes you feel like you don't compare, not only is he not over her, he's a jerk. • • • • • © 2018 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our (updated 5/25/18) and (updated 5/25/18) and Glamour may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers.

The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast.


best dating a guy friend with his ex girlfriend

Have you ever been in the situation where your best buddy turned around and started dating your most recent ex girlfriend?

How did you handle the situation? Were you cool about it or were you pissed off as soon as you found out? About a month ago my best friend I had grown up with for 19+ years turned around and decided to start dating my latest ex girlfriend. When I found out I was upset, pissed enough at him I ended the friendship for only a few weeks. I learned quick that ending a relationship with a good friend over a girlfriend is stupid.

Now my buddy and I are pretty good friends, been able to build a friend relationship with my ex as well. That's a tough situation - no, it's never happened to me. It sounds like your reaction was totally appropriate, though. There was one time when I was friends with a couple. They were together a long time, but then they broke up.

The guy started showing interest in me but I was really unsure of how to proceed. Then his ex came to me and said, he really likes you and it's really OK with me if you go out with him. So I did, for a little while. He turned out to be a jerk though . Do you think you and your best friend are as close as you were before this incident? I once stole my best friend's girlfriend.

Of course the problem with that statement is the implication that I had anything to do with it. If she wanted to date me and not Bill, that was her choice, not ours.

Bill and I were fine with it. He was hurt a bit but didn't blame me. He knows I'm just too lovable to resist. In fact I was crazy about her but never acted on that until she came to me. If I had gone after her I probably would have felt pretty guilty. Eeek, I just remembered that his future wife once hit on me too. That's a tough situation - no, it's never happened to me.

It sounds like your reaction was totally appropriate, though. There was one time when I was friends with a couple. They were together a long time, but then they broke up. The guy started showing interest in me but I was really unsure of how to proceed. Then his ex came to me and said, he really likes you and it's really OK with me if you go out with him.

So I did, for a little while. He turned out to be a jerk though . Do you think you and your best friend are as close as you were before this incident?Oh my gosh! As I was reading your story I thought this guy was gay... Not trying to be sexist, but for a second there I thought you were a guy. (Haha) Then I looked over at your Avatar and figured you were a female, sorry about that... I once stole my best friend's girlfriend. Of course the problem with that statement is the implication that I had anything to do with it.

If she wanted to date me and not Bill, that was her choice, not ours. Bill and I were fine with it. He was hurt a bit but didn't blame me. He knows I'm just too lovable to resist. In fact I was crazy about her but never acted on that until she came to me. If I had gone after her I probably would have felt pretty guilty. Eeek, I just remembered that his future wife once hit on me too. My buddy didn't like her at all until she was initiating him. I actually feel sorry for my friend... See after my ex gf broke up with me she dated another guy a few weeks later.

She has never not had a bf in her life. It's kind of sad. One needs to be able to live happy single, right? I have been single for about 2 1/2 years, planning on staying single until I am done with college. I once introduced a girlfriend to a good friend and was intrigued to find out they were getting along better with each other than she and I were.

I thought, what the hell, I'm not that interested, so I extricated myself and they got together. I saw them a few months later and it seemed they were still into each other and going strong, so I felt saintly and altruistic about the whole thing. (Fact is, I had already been thinking of ways I might go about extricating myself before they were introduced.) In any case where a breakup wasn't my idea (if I'd been dumped) then the best friend stepping in would surely be painful, though "legal": if you're not going with someone you have no say who they date.

Haha, I'm in this dilemma as we speak. My best-friend broke up with his 5 month girlfriend in April. But recently his ex started to flirt with me over Facebook and at school. I don't know why they broke up or how he would feel about me dating his ex. She has a pretty awesome personality and is cute, but I don't know what the consequences will be and if she is worth it.

:/ I haven't had a girlfriend, so from the outside looking in this kind of hypothetical situation confuses me somewhat. My understanding proceeds in this manner: one has a partner, then the relationship ends. Both are free now to date who they will. Why does this freedom not include a friend of the former partner? The only reason I've been able to come up with is that, since you have just split with this person, there is a bit of an emotional tear there, and I know (or have heard) that after a break-up one should probably try and avoid contact, or make a clean break so to speak.

So I understand that if your friend dates this person, you are likely to run into them often when you might not want to. Does that accurately portray what people mean by this supposed dilemma? The only reason I've been able to come up with is that, since you have just split with this person, there is a bit of an emotional tear there, and I know (or have heard) that after a break-up one should probably try and avoid contact, or make a clean break so to speak.

So I understand that if your friend dates this person, you are likely to run into them often when you might not want to. Does that accurately portray what people mean by this supposed dilemma?As part of the Bro Code, one does not date a bro's ex.* It's a loyalty thing. The betrayal, if there is any, is not between the now-separated guy-and-girl; the betrayal is the guy's friend, who may be seen as disloyal to their friendship.

*it's not gender-specific. Anybody know the female equivalent of the Bro Code? Haha, I'm in this dilemma as we speak. My best-friend broke up with his 5 month girlfriend in April. But recently his ex started to flirt with me over Facebook and at school. I don't know why they broke up or how he would feel about me dating his ex. She has a pretty awesome personality and is cute, but I don't know what the consequences will be and if she is worth it.

:/Don't do it. There are plenty of more fish in the sea, look else where. I haven't had a girlfriend, so from the outside looking in this kind of hypothetical situation confuses me somewhat. My understanding proceeds in this manner: one has a partner, then the relationship ends.

Both are free now to date who they will. Why does this freedom not include a friend of the former partner? The only reason I've been able to come up with is that, since you have just split with this person, there is a bit of an emotional tear there, and I know (or have heard) that after a break-up one should probably try and avoid contact, or make a clean break so to speak.

So I understand that if your friend dates this person, you are likely to run into them often when you might not want to. Does that accurately portray what people mean by this supposed dilemma?

Well that is the reason you don't understand because you have never had a girlfriend. Wait until you build a close relationship with a girl and she breaks your heart then you will understand what I am saying... My (now) ex wife and (now) ex best friend had an affair (which is why they're both exes now).

Does that count?Yeah, but that is much worse. My friend had recently gone through this as well. His ex wife had an affair with his best friend before they divorced. Your situation would stink, never would be able to go through that... I learned quick that ending a relationship with a good friend over a girlfriend is stupid.GOOD friends don't do sneaky things like that.

A GOOD fried would have at least asked you first. You find in life that you have to separate friends from RELIABLE, TRUSTWORTHY friends...the latter are the difficult ones to find. But if you are comfortable hanging out and enjoying somebody who isn't all the reliable, no foul committed.

GOOD friends don't do sneaky things like that. A GOOD fried would have at least asked you first. You find in life that you have to separate friends from RELIABLE, TRUSTWORTHY friends...the latter are the difficult ones to find. But if you are comfortable hanging out and enjoying somebody who isn't all the reliable, no foul committed.He did ask me before he dated her. He asked me how I would feel if they dated. I told him I would be pissed and our friendship would be gone...

(Haha) Sure enough he didn't date her for a few weeks, but seeing his actions towards her told me that he really wanted to date her. So I basically told him he can date her if he wants. I am glad him and I are on good term now. I hope their relationship will workout between the two of them. One other thing I like to mention. After my girlfriend broke up with and a year passed we had become pretty good friends, almost went back out.

I remember when my friend (who is now dating my ex), heard about me and her considering dating again. He was furious when he heard about it.

He actually told one day while we were playing Halo Reach on xbox360 that my ex was pissing him off because she would bother me. She wasn't annoying me, instead trying to draw my attention away from my senses. He didn't want me to date her again. I took his thought into consideration and followed it.

We ended up not dating each other for a second time. I sometimes wonder if he had feelings for her back then.


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