A single childless man may date a single mother because most women have children. Childless women are on the rise but are still far and few between. Single fathers have a bad reputation (even more so than single mothers), therefore the childless woman stays away from them. 914 Views · View Upvoters. Quora User, Eclectic interests, deep thoughts Answered Dec 9, 2013 · Author has 6.4k answers and 17.3m answer views. I was a childless single woman when I met my partner. His daughter was 6 at the time. I was not (and am not) up for becoming a mother to someone else's child, but being a stepmother is quite different in my experience.
There is a difference between a single father and a guy whose x had his kid. The guy whose x had his kid may be resentful about paying child support, he may not take an active role in his kids life, he may not act much like a "father" to his children.
I am not going to discus that guy. In my mind, he is not a "single father." He is just a single guy who doesn't take responsibility. Its possible that the courts screwed him over or the mother is actively keeping him away from his kids, but for the most part, these men can take an active role in parenting, they just choose not to. Single women generally have a strong social support system. They get out more, and they have better access to financial benefits. Many single mothers do not work full time jobs (many do, but society accepts those who don't).
For all these reasons, single mothers may find it easier to find men to date them. Single fathers are seen as out of the ordinary. Men are less likely to get government support for raising children. Men are expected to work full time to support their family. A single father likely will not have much of a social network available to him, he will find most of his friends want him to visit, but without the kids.
A single father doesn't get many opportunities to socialize and meet single women, his time is likely taken up working and taking care of the kids. If a single father meets a single woman without kids, he most likely won't consider dating her because he doesn't have time to give her the attention she would demand.
He has to give that to his children. I don't think women are not interested in single fathers, but they don't get a chance to meet them. Single mothers have more opportunities to meet single men. Single mothers can give more time to dating than single fathers can. I reject the premise of the question. The single father that raised me was always surrounded by women who enjoyed the idea of a loving, supportive father.
He was never short of a date, and more than one woman was attracted to him on the basis of our close relationship and his responsibility as a single parent. My mother had no problem getting dates either. I think it's hard to generalise with these sorts of things.
Ever parent and every kid is different. People date other people because they like them. It is that complex and that simple. It has to do with the man’s resources (money). Let’s assume that a childless single woman wants to have kids one day. When she does, she wants all of the father’s available resources to go to her child. That is the way that we are biologically wired—the bearers of our DNA are subjectively more worthy than individuals who do not share our genetics.
We’re much like animals, in that regard. A single father is already giving his money to a child from another marriage, and sometimes an ex-wife.
This makes him a poor proposition for a woman who wants her own children one day, because the single father will not be able to give the second child everything.
If she is childfree by choice, ditto. Only now some of her resources might end up going to a child that is not hers, in a locutious way, taking away from her own sense of long-term financial stability. Ever wonder why ex-wives flip out when their ex-husbands remarry, even though they have no interest in the ex-husband?
Similar reason. They feel threatened that the new couple will have children together, and that the man’s resources will have to be shared, or be taken away from their own child (genetic legacy).
If the single dad were filthy rich, I don’t think that a woman would have as much hesitation, nor would the ex-wives. Childless single women who are childless by choice generally want to stay that way. They will not stay childless if they take up with a man who already has children.
Childless men who are childless by choice and want to stay that way, generally do not take up with women who have children, either. Men who date women who have children are open to the idea of being fathers. IMO, men are generally more open to the "children one day" than are women who are clear about not wanting to be parents.
If you don't want to be a mother to someone else's children, don't date men whose children are not driving yet.
best dating a single man with a childless mothers day quotes - Is Dating A Man With A Child Worth it?
• • • • Show subsections • • • • • • • Show subsections • • • • • • • • Show subsections • • • • • • • • • Show subsections • • • • • • • Show subsections • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Show subsections • • • • • • • • • • • • • Hide subsections • • • • • • Show subsections • • • • • • • • • • • Show subsections • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Over the past few years, I've dated a variety of men in their 40s and 50s.
They've ranged in personality, profession, height and appearance, but they've all had one thing in common. They've all been dads. "I tried dating men who didn't have kids, but it never progressed." Credit:Alamy I tried dating men who didn't have kids, but it never progressed. Their lifestyles were too different to mine. I'm a custodial parent of three, and my life necessarily revolves around my kids.
And childless men, I've found, have expectations I can't meet. They want to go out spontaneously after work or on weekends, or take off on mini-breaks together, or have me sleep over at their place on the regular. I need to schedule and plan, and my time is limited.
It's unworkable. Kerri Sackville is ruling out men who don't have kids from her dating pool. Credit:Luke Arms But am I wrong to dismiss childless men from my dating pool? Can a single mother and a childless man live happily ever after? Well, 47-year-old Karen, a mother of two, and her partner, 51-year-old Steven, seem to be doing just that. Karen met Steven through a mutual friend back in 2011, when her boys were just five and seven years old.
She had recently separated from the father of her kids; Steven had been single for a few years after the end of a long-term relationship. "We never discussed the kids," Karen told me. "I didn't even introduce him to them for six months." When she did finally introduce Steven to her sons, Karen took things exceptionally slowly, orchestrating a series of 'accidental' meetings.
Eventually, the boys liked Steven so much they invited him to dinner. Two years later, after a series of sleepovers in Steven's apartment, they all moved in with him. They married in 2014 and have been happily together ever since. I asked Karen if there were any challenges in becoming a family. "Of course," she says. "When we were dating it was all about us, but when we moved in together it wasn't. Steven made many sacrifices. But he has this incredible way of dealing with the kids.
He knew that they boys would come first, and that if he didn't have a good relationship with them there would be no relationship with me. "It wasn't love at first sight but he grew to love them, and they listen to him and respect him like he's their own father." Does she have advice for other mums in relationships with men who aren't parents?
"At the end of the day, the most important thing is communication," she says. "We have very intense discussions about how to handle different situations and we rarely disagree. And we prioritise ourselves as a couple." Karen's ex takes the kids every Wednesday night and every other weekend, and so Wednesday, says Karen, is date night.
"I make sure that the kids are in bed early so we have alone time, I make sure that when we are together, it is about us." Ellen, a 46-year-old with three children, agrees that communication is key. She began dating her partner four years ago, when they were living in different cities.
Ellen had 50/50 shared care with her ex, so she and Rob, who had no kids, "did the long-distance thing" for a year. The complications began when Rob moved to Sydney to live with Ellen and the children. "As far as the kids were concerned it was fantastic," Ellen told me. "The three of them all really liked him and he gave them all individual time. But it was very hard for him. He'd become part of someone else's family. He'd gone from complete freedom to all these different people needing my attention." The couple split late last year, and the catalyst, said Ellen, was the lack of communication.
"It's all so scary and wobbly that you don't want to rock the boat (by having difficult conversations), and because you don't want to rock the boat you don't have those conversations so it gets worse." Of course, there is an upside to dating a man with no kids. As Karen said, "I didn't have to deal with any baggage on his side.
We had enough to deal with on mine!"
Last night I read an article from the Standard newspaper ‘ A mother reading to her child. Image from http://www.inspiredblogsbyevelyn.net/Children-s-Corner.html The author was worried that single mothers are increasing at an alarming rate. Even though he was speaking of the rural setting where young girls have at least two children before they turn 21, his attitude towards single mothers is the same one guys in the urban areas have.
Breaking news: single mothers do not want you too. You are not strong enough to handle them. I spoke to a friend who has dated single mothers. See, many African men especially those who are not widely travelled, will find everything wrong with dating a single mother. I keep telling girls to date a man who is widely travelled, as he will have an open mind when it comes to a lot of things.
Dunda in Machakos and Nakuru 7s is not widely travelled, dear girl. I digress. My friend told me this: it is better to date a single mother in Nairobi, than a single woman who is between 27-31 years old.
Let me explain. There are many reasons why there are single mothers. Some chose to be single mothers, others dated an irresponsible man, or they are widowed or divorced.
However, men in our society make them feel like they are a lesser being as though they conceived alone. They make jokes online and would not dare tell their friends that they are dating a single mother, lest they are asked ‘you want to play daddy with a kid who is not yours’ For men who have dated single mothers, this is what they have to say. Single mothers are more humble and more giving. They know how to add value in a relationship, and they expect value in return.
They have for a long time been called ‘damaged goods’ so when it comes to giving love, they are more giving. If it’s to prove they are not, that’s a different story. They appreciate being taken care of. They do not take anything for granted. Many have not been with a good man in a long time, so when they come across a good man, they will treat him with respect and appreciate him. They do not expect to be given. They are not the ‘nibuyie battalion’. For a long time, they have hustled for their kid and that changes their mindset.
They have no sense of entitlement like the other girls of ‘come pick me, drop me’ . If it’s a date, she will most likely get herself there. They do not hide the fact that if you want them in your life, you have to be the male figure in her life and her kid’s life.
No playing around on this. If you are not man enough, you exit the stage to the left in the first few months. Of course most of them will want a steady relationship as soon as they find a good man.
That scares some men off because of the responsibilities but for the single mothers, between work, the kid and a ‘sumbua’ house girl, she has very little time to play cat and mouse games that other relationships go through. If the man has kids, single mothers will want to know how his kids are doing and they can have conversations around it.
This makes most men with kids feel different in a good way. We single ladies can go for days or months without asking if your kids are alright. From all this, if I was a man, I would want to date a mature single mother. Humility, giving, appreciative, no sense of entitlement, maternal and the full works. Unfortunately, very few men especially Kenyan men can date a single mother. It may have a lot to do with the culture somebody comes from as well especially if one of the children is a boy.
Other men from other races do not mind at all… and of course the widely travelled men. I think it is time for men to rid themselves of this attitude because I feel they are missing out on having mature relations with great women. So when you are all complaining that there are no good women in Nairobi, maybe you need to open that mind a little bit. Related Single lady in Nairobi is a collection of real life stories and opinions from different women.
It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that ladies have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Potentash.com.
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