I’m not going to lie: attractive waitresses, barmaids and other women in customer service based industries are going to get hit on a lot. When I worked as a waitress after one too many tired lines or routines I did find myself thinking, ‘Oh boy, not another one,’ then smiling politely and walking off. I didn’t like feeling like an object when I was at work so I would let any crude comments or obvious lines drift in one ear and out of the other You don’t want to be the guy who uses a line because he wants the prestige of getting the hot waitress’s number, but you also don’t want to be the guy who is too afraid to ask. So how do you ask out a waitress so that you don’t seem like just another patron? Follow these rules and you will be all good
Is it Ok to Ask the Waitress On a Date? It is important to know what you are dealing with in trying to ask a waitress out. There are two main ways to go about it, and your choice will depend largely on whether you are making a one-off visit to the bistro in question or plan to make it your local.
But first, a little bit about the general attitudes and working conditions of your waitress. Most restaurants hire young, unmarried, attractive waitresses because they tend to be the kinds of girls that go in for waitressing jobs.
It is not an easy job. Shifts can run from 8 to 12 hours, and the girls spend that time entirely on their feet. Waitresses are not paid a full wage. They are expected to make up for this shortage with tips. They are friendly, helpful, courteous, and outgoing because they want a big tip. Your waitress may even flirt with you if she thinks you’re hot. But you should not misread the situation: she is not sending you the signal to ask her out; she is merely working for a tip. The cold approach to asking a waitress out is the one that is most fraught with peril.
Think about it. From her point of view, you are a complete stranger trying to get into her panties while she is busy trying to make a buck. Things may turn out in your favor. She may be single, on the rebound, and looking for some action; it may be a slow night, which gives her plenty of time to chat and be chatted up; you may be able to stay at the table long enough to develop a nice rapport with her and speak to her when her colleagues are nowhere in sight.
Such a succession of events is possible, but highly unlikely. In any case, going for a cold pickup leaves too much to chance. Even if she does like you, is not busy, and is not under the gaze of her fellow servers she will probably still rebuff your advances.
Waitresses, especially the attractive ones, get hit on all the time. On any given shift, your waitress probably gets a dozen or more guys, just like you, who try to make moves on her.
Most waitresses maintain a strict policy of not getting personal or too intimate with customers. Why does she flirt?
Partly to get a tip; partly to entertain herself. Serving people food and drink all day is not among the most exciting activities in the world. If a waitress has a hot guy as a customer, she will of course take the opportunity to get some pleasure out of her interaction with him. This doesn’t mean she wants to take things any further.
If you want to ask a waitress out, the safest route is to make yourself a regular customer. The restaurant may be out of your way. There is nothing to be done about this. If you must have her, then you must do what is necessary to get her.
But let’s pause for a moment. This is an unwise and wasteful course to take if you have received not a single sign, indication, or vibe that she is interested. A long stare, the breaking of the touch barrier, an unguarded moment in which she tells you something personal—these are indications that she’s into you or has the potential to be. So let’s say that everything seems right for the longer, more gradual strategy of asking a waitress out.
How and when is it to be done? You should start plotting the big moment after you have been identified by her and her colleagues as a regular. You need to get your waitress to see you as a person, as being more than part of her job.
The usual small talk about your work and interests applies, but you should also steer the conversation towards relationships and dating; doing so will lead you to the facts about her relationship status. The Right Way to Ask a Waitress Out The actual act of asking her out can be tricky. She will want to protect her reputation among her colleagues.
Allowing herself to be picked up by a customer can make things awkward for her at work. But your waitress is not a machine; she can’t switch off her feelings and her emotions and her pussy when she clocks into work.
If she likes you, then she will respond to your wooing. Your main aim should be to make it easy for her to say yes, which is best done by being discrete. If you have become a regular customer, you have gotten a sense of her routine. Catch her at a moment when she is not particularly busy or when she has stepped out for a break or when she has made the time to linger at your table longer than usual.
Propose something simple. Asking her for coffee at a bookstore is a good one, especially if she is a student. Another way of going about it is asking her if it’s okay to Friend her on Facebook, and mentioning your desire to send her a message about meeting up some place in the future.
This last bit must be added, as friending someone on Facebook means nothing. You must state your specific intent to use it as a means of communicating with her about personal matters outside of her work. The bottom line is if you’ve seen a hot waitress, go for it. With the right strategy you will avoid rejection, embarrassment, and time wastage.
best dating a waitresses number now what - What does a Waitress do? (with pictures)
every week. Only problem is, it’s when you’re ordering your morning coffee. I get tons of emails from guys just like you asking if it is possible to flirt with a girl while she’s at work. Even if you’re normally great at flirting with women, you may find it impossible to say the right thing, or even be sure if it’s right to say anything, the second she steps behind the bar and the girl you want to ask out is at work.
I can totally understand that: you don’t want to bother her and, having been a waitress myself in the past, I can confirm that it does get tiring getting the wrong kind of male attention when you’re in the service industry. I’m not going to lie: attractive waitresses, barmaids and other women in customer service based industries are going to get hit on a lot. When I worked as a waitress after one too many tired lines or routines I did find myself thinking, ‘Oh boy, not another one,’ then smiling politely and walking off.
I didn’t like feeling like an object when I was at work so I would let any crude comments or obvious lines drift in one ear and out of the other. There were two kinds of guys I encountered all the time when I was working: 1.
The ones who were super nice to me, who I secretly knew wanted me but were too afraid to ask me out 2. The jerks who saw me as an achievement and a goal of “getting the waitress” so they tried to show off in front of me, use lines on me in front of their buddies and generally treated me like a “thing” instead of a person You don’t want to be the guy who uses a line because he wants the prestige of getting the hot waitress’s number, but you also don’t want to be the guy who is too afraid to ask.
So how do you ask out a waitress so that you don’t seem like just another patron? Follow these rules and you will be all good: #1 – Talk about things other than typical “bar or restaurant stuff”.
So no hour long discussions about Jack Daniels or where Vodka comes from. Think bigger and don’t be afraid to share about you rather than trying to fit into her life.
#2 – Don’t wait for the perfect moment to ask her out. I used to have guys stay till the wee hours of the night thinking “great she’s off work, she’s totally accept my invite for a date now”. Not true. I hated it when I could tell guys were just hanging around waiting to ask me out.
Felt creepy. If you want to ask a waitress out, then ASK HER OUT right then and there. Then continue on with your night. #3 – Remember that work sucks and nobody wants to talk about their job. Do you want to talk about engineering? Law or working at Best Buy? Hell no. Talk to her about her life outside the bar and show her that you can see past her little apron.
#4 – Make sure you treat her like a lady. Just because you are paying her for a service, doesn’t mean everything is included 😉 So next time you are at a bar, restaurant or even a clothing store and see a hot girl working there, approach her, strike up conversation and don’t be afraid to ask her out.
Filed Under: , Reader Interactions this was a good topic to blog about and what guy hasnt been attracted to the cute waitress/bartender but you left out a couple of things…do you ask her out before or after you leave the tip…if you ask her out before you leave the tip she will probably leave her phone number to get a very generous tip and that number probably doesnt go anywhere…these girls arent stupid…ok then you leave a very generous tip…she sees it…and then you ask her out…it then looks like you’re trying to buy her…too small of a tip and you look cheap…remember these girls are getting asked out all the time • Marni Wing Girl says A waitress will smile and seem receptive when you flirt with her (assuming that you’re not vulgar in your approach).
You will feel like you’re getting some where & making some sort of connection because that’s what she wants you to believe;by doing this she’s hoping to get a larger tip. Waitressing 101 This is all moot,if you are wealthy or extremely attractive;then,you may have a chance. • Marni Wing Girl says Hi Marni, I’m in a situation where i’ve kinda connected with the bartender and I’ve gotten her number.
We’ve text back and forth for a few days now. I really don’t know how to make it clear that i just dont want to be a friend. she’s not giving me the friendzone treatment yet but I guess I’m lost on what to do to make sure she knows my intentions and I dont get into the friend zone • Marni Wing Girl says I don’t understand why but I was hover by a lovely waitress while I was talking with my group at the table not paying her much attention.
She would pass by saying, “More water?” or “More coffee?” I felt that she was trying to get my attention. The second time I went that restaurant she was more sociable until I ask her email. Then she went cold. The third time we went there she didn’t serve us. But while she was talking to us she was very friendly. If I remember, I had told her, “I want to keep in touch with you. Give me your email” then she flaked out. “I don’t give my email to strangers. Why don’t you come a few more times and I would get to know you and only then maybe I’ll give”.
But after a while the restaurant closed down. I think she was the owner’s daughter. • Marni Wing Girl says Hey George It sounds to me like on this occasion she was just being a diligent waitress: it can be tough to read a woman’s signs correctly so I’ll have to put a blog together on this. I think in that instance it would have been great for you to take the lead and be accepting of what her concerns might be.
If she doesn’t give out her contact details striaght away take the initiative to let her know that’s fine, and make a mental note that you need to get to know her betterm make her feel more at ease in your company, and then be ok to try again.
Good luck 🙂 • smooth says If a girl says I have a boyfriend straight off the bat, then she is onto you. I once read it takes up to 8 hours to get to know someone, You have to get to know her a little better. Break down those walls and get inside her mind and let her see the good person in you. You are not one of the jerks that normally cracks onto her, but you are also not one of the “good guys” • Marni Wing Girl says Hey Dave, I actually think it’s ok for a woman to know that you’re flirting with her: in fact being direct and honest and real is great.
If she says that she has a boyfriend straight away though you have to make a judgement call: if you think she’s being sincere you can leave that one, and know there are a lot of great single women out there. Or you can think that the ‘boyfriend’ is just a knee jerk reaction to her feeling a little pressurised, you can take feedback from that, adopt a slightly different approach, and think that you can either turn this around and get a date, or a great friend, from the interaction.
Good luck 🙂 • cain says The interest a waitress or any other woman in the service industry shows you is not genuine.When she appears to be interested,laughing & smiling a lot she is WORKING.Specifically, working for a bigger tip….and hopefully repeat business & more tips. Only celebrities,the wealthy and extremely attractive guys or those with exemplary “game” have any sort of chance.
• Marni Wing Girl says Hey Christofer, I actually agree with a lot of the qualities that women think are attractive: assertiveness, confidence etc. Although there are definitely better ways to show it as a man than just being a jerk.
I love it when a guy is able to be masculine enough to lead me and take that attractice role, without knowing he’s a player. In fact that’s the nicest feeling. As for waitresses I know generally they are working, and you definitely have to account for that.
However if you distinguish yourself from normal ‘customers’ and connect to her as a human being, rather than just ‘the hot waitress’ you will set yourself apart and be able to date her. This won’t work with everyone, but I know lots of women who have gone on dates with guys they met whilst they were working.
Women love to be asked out in whatever context, as long as it is done sensitively and congruently. Thanks again for your comments Marni 🙂 • Fred says Hi Marni, What should I do with a girl I like who works at a fast-food? I go there often and I can sense that she recognises me. Sometimes she smiles at me outside of a transaction such as when she’s cleaning a table or something. Does it mean something? When I order I always look deep into her eyes but so far that is as bold as I get.
• Eric says Marni, you and I have actually discussed this, whether or not you remember 😉 Guys, it just takes being sincere, and it may take time. But you don’t have to be wealthy, famous or any of that. Just be the man you know you are. Take my word for it. And stay out of the friend zone! • Marni Wing Girl says Hey marni, My name is dan and id really want to have your advice on something. I went to this restaurant closeby. I usually go to this restaurant when eating dinner outside the house.
There is this really cute and nice waitress there, and I really want o try and go for her, and see where i get. She is a bit older than me though, I am only 17 and i figure she is aorund 19-20.
And I know you will probably say that im too young, however I think i do have a pretty fair chance. Im pretty good looking (alot of my friends which are girls say so, and i think im good looking to 😛 ) but other than that I can interact with women fairly confidently. Anyway, id like to ask you a question, do you think I would stand a chance, and would you have any other tips?
🙂 Thnx alot in advance 🙂 • Marni Wing Girl says Hey Dan I’d say to go for it: as you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. You’re also relatively close in age, and confident with it. I wouldn’t bring up the age gap, just strike up a conversation, see if you connect and if it goes well take her number.
One last thing you may want to consider though is if you can go back to this bar quite regularly it may be worth chatting to her over a few seperate occasions i.e. just start by saying hi and swapping names, then the next time you see her speak a little more, then when she’s got to know you a little ask for her number. Good luck Marni 🙂 • Guest Girl says Hi, I’m a hot waitress.
I get tips bigger than the actual orders and constantly hit on. But there was a cute older guy coming in with his friend once a week who would make me laugh. My coworkers would tease me over it and I could tell he wanted to ask me out. One night when it was really slow he came in alone but after that he stopped showing up.
We had inside jokes and had begun to know about each others personal lives. He hasn’t been in for weeks and I’m wondering if maybe he gave up thinking he had no chance…? • Blew it says I know this post is seriously old but I found it while googling about something similar. I’m a regular at a live blues bar and one of the waitresses has me wondering if she likes me or just likes my tips… because I am there alone for hours, I pay for what I think she might have earned.
I rent the table, if you will. Since I don’t drink much, the tip is 50% minimum but only because not having as much traffic cost her (though most people do what I do as well). I do this for all wait staff as my mom was single, poor, and raised my on tips.
Anyway, this guy might be a bit like me. I know my waitress must be getting hit on a dozen times a day. Since I don’t want to be ‘that guy’ I keep to being friendly and not pushy. This older gent may just have been raised to be polite and he likely did give up after not getting a clear enough signal (many guys are really dense like that).
• the master of disaster says
1. She could get called into work in the middle of even the best date ever. A regular schedule does not exist here. She works when she's told to and is a lot like a secret agent that way. 2. You can keep asking her if she'll have next Thursday off but she will never be able to give you that answer. Yes, it's awesome that you want to plan a trip for next weekend, but she gets her schedule pretty much on Monday.
Get ready to be more spontaneous! 3. Good part/bad part: She smells like food always. This is great news if you love food and bad news if you hate the food she always smells like. This cannot be controlled. 4. She is getting hit on at work all the time, so if you're into her, you better bring it. This also means that if she's getting hit on by creeps constantly and you come in and treat her like a queen instead of a walking pair of boobs that brings you taquitos, you'll have her heart forever.
5. She's practically a food inspector when you two go out to eat. She's going to notice ~*eVeRyThInG*~ from how the service was to how much you tip because this is literally what she spends all day doing, but thankfully at another place because... 6. She will never want to go into her restaurant when she's not working so never, ever suggest you go there. Not only is she totally sick of the food, but do you want to go into work on your days off?
No. And neither does she, even if their margaritas are the best in town. It's still a work margarita and it always will be, Dave. 7. Don't ask her what her "real job" is. Waitressing is a very, very real job, and lots of people make a great living out of it.
Granted, a lot of waitresses are also working on college degrees or trying to start a business or explore a passion of theirs and cannot freaking wait to stop waiting tables, but don't judge her either way.
Both are super respectable. 8. If you're tipping less than 15 percent to your server, you're basically the same as all the assholes who tip less than 15 percent to her. And you do not want her to look at you the same way she looks at those hemp-choker-wearing turds. 9. Don't assume her day was a scene out of a movie where all the characters are regulars and super nice to her and . If only. Not only is she carrying around heavy things all day, it's also totally likely people have written her mean things on receipts.
Even if it's just someone writing in a zero on the tip portion, that's a dick move. So ask her about her day and don't assume just because she's a waitress that her days were a breeze. Often it's the opposite. 10. Be prepared to hear about the most insane, hilarious work drama ever. Between a woman who came in and ordered nothing but four plates of steamed broccoli with ketchup and the cook who cut off two different parts of his hand in one day, she comes prepared with hella stories at all times.
11. She'll be aces at taking care of you. She's so used to anticipating the needs of total strangers, so if the guy she's crazy in love with and knows really well is having a crappy day, she's knows exactly what to do to cheer you up. Unless you ask her to sing the happy birthday song, in which case, it's over, Brad, and you know why.
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