In your early-twenties, you know nothing about sex, dating and relationships. I hate to sound condescending, but as a 27-year-old woman, I now know this to be true Here are those stages. Everything you'll believe as a woman dating men in your twenties, a timeline: High school 'Love' is a lie The better part of a decade has shown you that all you needed from a man all along was: the ability to go three times in a night and a consistent flow of quality memes. Clarity / namaste / death is coming / look at all that I've learnt. You find peace with dating You see younger women giving inspirational dating advice online and feel ancient and content about that. Maybe you meet someone else who makes you want to create another cult of two.
“Why would I settle for someone my age when I know I can pull a 21-year-old. “I know what good sex is and I know what bad sex is. “Many younger men want experience and my age and confidence give them that, and I feel very good knowing this young guy thinks I’m hot. “There’s nothing wrong with having a toyboy.” Janice doesn't let age keep her from doing the things she wanted in life Janice, a senior manager, says: “I rushed into my first marriage back in 1979.
“He was four years older than me and my rebel choice. “I fell pregnant and when my son Brendan was born with disabilities he was no help at all. “We divorced and I married my second husband Dave* a few years later.
“We had a daughter, Shanelle, in 1990 but she tragically died from an infection at only a year old. “We were devastated and it broke our marriage apart. We split and I moved away to start a new life.” It was during this tough time that Janice started online dating. She signed up for a Yahoo messenger account and was stunned at the amount of young men that began asking her out. She said: “When I first started I remember thinking my God, they are younger than my son. “I wouldn’t consider anyone in his early twenties it was just too young for me at the time.
“I was in my forties so it was still a substantial age difference. “But after Brendan died on February 10 2001 that barrier in my mind just disappeared and I began to date men in their early twenties.
“One night I was dancing the night away at a club with my friends when I bumped into this super fit bloke and the chemistry was electric. “We ended up snogging on the dance floor and exchanged numbers.
“I asked his age and he said he was 21-years-old! “I was chuffed and what I thought would just be a fling turned into a two-year relationship.” Once Janice’s appetite for toyboys began, she joined online dating website . “One of my screen names is ‘cubhunter’ because in our world a cub is a man who wants an older woman. “People say it’s because they want a mother figure but what I do with a toyboy is not mothering.” Janice says that she has strict criteria before she’ll agree to go out with a ‘cub’ However, despite being in high demand for dates, receiving hundreds of messages from men, Janice says that she has strict criteria before she’ll agree to go out with a ‘cub’.
She added: “I love tall men, over six-foot, with dark hair and fit bodies. “Sporty men who keep themselves fit in the gym are a turn on. “But I have to chat with them for a while before I’ll meet face to face. “We need to be able to hold a conversation too. They can’t only be a good body with no brain. “I’m not on the toyboy websites just for sex. "I’m not interested in no strings attached sex or booty calls.
There needs to be a bit more than that. "And so many men tell me that they were too scared to approach older women until they started using the website." And although dating a younger man does have its perks, Janice admits there have been a few dodgy encounters she puts down to age – or lack of it. “Once I was waiting for my date to meet me so we could go to the pub for a drink,” she recalls.
“He called to say he was running late and to push it back an hour, but I could hear people in the background. “I asked how he was making his way over and he answered...by bus. “Nearly two hours later he finally turned up and I just thought this one is definitely a child. “Needless to say there was no second date.” Janice loves going out clubbing in her spare time And while Janice’s family and friends don’t completely understand her need to be with men less than half her age, they support her.
“Most of my friends are younger than me,” she said. “I’ve always had a young outlook on life. “I work hard all week and spend time when I can clubbing and dancing, which I guess isn’t what most women nearing 60 do. “But it keeps me healthier and happier.” And while some older ladies might feel be petrified of taking their clothes off in front of a younger man, Janice says it is the best confidence boost. She says: “At first when I started speaking to these men I had concerns.
"You don't look the same with your clothes off and I didn't want to put myself out there because I haven't got a perfect body and have never had work done. "But what I learned quickly was that a toyboy doesn’t want a perfect body. “He wants an experienced woman who knows what she wants and can share that with him. “And when you reach my age and can have that kind of connection with someone and then see him look at you with want in his eyes well let me tell you that’s the best buzz.” * Dave's name has been changed to protect his identity.
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best dating a younger man in your twenties - Older Men Dating Younger Women: Can It Really Work?
We're not going to lie - your twenties are tricky. While you will probably be in the best shape of your life and trim enough that you can wear pretty much anything you want (and if not, check out our guide on ), you will also go through a massive transformation as you leave uni behind and start establishing your career. In short, you're a grown man now and the key to mastering how to dress in your twenties can be summed up in two words: capsule wardrobe.
This is the time to invest in important go-to pieces that will form the foundation of your wardrobe for many years to come, and make you feel great every time you slip them on: hard-wearing chinos, good jeans, smart shoes, your first proper suit and a decent watch.
However, this is also the time to experiment with trends - yes, you'll make mistakes with colours and patterns, but, heck, you're young - now's the time to do it and work out what looks good on you. Towards the end of the decade, go for your first designer pieces - although we'd recommend you start small with ties, cufflinks or wallets, and work your way up as your budget expands with your wage. In short, this is the first decade of the rest of your life - so make sure you start it in style.
Read next • How to dress in your twenties: 5 golden rules 1) Go for slim cuts You are in the best shape of your life right now, and you don't need to spend hours in the gym to maintain it. Make the most of it by searching out clothes with slim cuts (note: not skinny cuts) that don't swamp you in acres of excess fabric. 2) Get to know your colour Now's the time to figure out which colours work best on you. As a general rule, lighter colors work best on darker skin tones (pale blue, yellow, pastel pink, white) and darker colours work best on lighter skin tones (navy blue, dark green, dark red, brown).
When you've decided on which you feel most comfortable in, adopt it as the backbone of your accessories game. If you invest in socks, pocket squares and ties that are both solid and have hints of the colour in a pattern, you have created a thoroughly interchangeable selection.
3) Experiment Read next • By Harvey James There are more shops out there catering to guys in their twenties than guys in any other age bracket. Make the most of it by trying out different patterns and more trend-led items that can be added into your core wardrobe as the seasons change. Smart jogging bottoms, colourful Nineties-style fleeces or a summer-appropriate sandals are all good trend-items to try right now, should budgets allow.
4) Make friends with a tailor and a barber Never, ever underestimate the power of a good haircut and an expertly fitted suit. Get to know these men and/or women now and they will keep you looking good for years to come. Remember, a relatively inexpensive suit can look like it's come from Savile Row if it's fitted right. 5) Learn to look after your shoes This is a decade where making the right first impression counts, whether that be going on a job interview or getting out there on the dating scene.
It's often said that shoes are the first thing a person notices about your outfit, either consciously or subconsciously, are your shoes - so they'd better be shiny.
If you don't know yet, take a look at our handy How To. For trainers, invest in a bottle of spray, which will keep your trainers looking fresh. Read next • Items you should buy in your twenties: White shirts What you quickly learn in this decade is that white shirts go with everything and at any occasion.
Over the years stock up with a mixture of formal collars (preferably semi-cutaway with removable bones) and button-downs, and make sure there's always a few hanging in your wardrobe. GQ recommends: • • • • Your first proper suit When you're starting it's best to go for one decent suit that's going to have you covered for weddings, interviews, work and any other occasion you might need.
The most versatile colour you can go for is a plain, deep navy, however go for wool-cotton mix (check the label for sweat-inducing man-made fibres) with a half-lining - something that will be light enough to wear with a shirt in summer, but can be layered-up in winter with a jumper and a coat. Finally, unless you're a model, make sure you budget an extra £50 or so to get it properly tailored to you - that way you know it'll fit just right every time you slip it on.
GQ recommends: Read next • By Nick Carvell and Zak Maoui • • • • A go-anywhere watch Much like your suit, it's worth getting a smart watch that goes with everything you own. Our advice is to go for a metallic Milanese strap, of which you can find many quartz-powered iterations right now. Alternatively, if you're in the kind of career where you get a generous bonus once a year, consider treating yourself to your first mechanical timepiece, such as a Tudor Black Bay or Victorinox Night Vision.
GQ recommends: • • • • White trainers If you're looking for trainers that will go with as many of your outfits as possible, opt for white canvas or leather in a classic shape - our particular favourites are Converse Jack Purcells, Common Projects or Nike Air Max (either 1 or 90), but there are plenty of own-brand iterations that are just as worth checking out (see our top hits below). After that, invest in Mr Black's Shoe Cleaner and Sneaker Refresh sprays to keep them looking and smelling fresh for years to come.
GQ recommends: • • • • Indigo jeans You will wear jeans more than almost any other item in your wardrobe, so it's worth spending a little more on them - and it's certainly worth getting the fit right (find a label or two and stick to them). Wash-wise, it's best to go for a dark or mid-indigo selvedge denim that you can wear with everything else in your wardrobe (including that navy suit jacket you've just bought as well).
Patches and distressing are fine, but it's best to repair as you wear rather than buying ready-made iterations (if you buy at Levi's you can do this at the label's in-house denim tailor).
GQ recommends: • • • • • Leather jacket Not just for gigs - get the right leather jacket (one that fits like a second skin) and you can wear it as an extra layer under your overcoat in the winter or over your suit. You can get some surprisingly reasonable leather jackets on the high street right now, and that's also where you'll find a slew of more contemporary cuts - although we suggest starting out with either a zip-up biker or baseball shape.
GQ recommends: • • • • Formal shoes At a minimum you will need two pairs of smart shoes: one black and one brown (dark not tan). The general rule is that the simpler the style, the more outfits it will go with. Our advice is to either go for a double monk strap or Derby style in each. If you have a bit more money to spare, invest in a pair of Chelsea boots too for the winter.
GQ recommends: • • • • Throw these out before you hit 30: • Uni hoodies • Deep V-neck T-shirts • Vests • Flip-flops (except if you're on a beach) • Novelty pants or socks Like this?
Read more from the GQ How To Dress Your Age series: • • • •
You meet a guy and there’s an instant connection—you’re both into Orange Is the New Black, his dry sense of humor kills you, and dang those eyes! And then you learn that the same year you graduated college, he was wrapping up his freshman year—of high school.
Dating someone younger—whether you’re two or three years his senior or are talking cougar territory—certainly can work, but being an “older woman” in a relationship does tend to come with certain perks and downfalls.
If you want to make things work, be sure you can handle the following. Photo: bedya // Shutterstock You can’t argue with biology. Men reach their sexual prime in their twenties due to a spike in testosterone, while women typically reach theirs in their 30s and 40s. Add the fact that younger guys have more stamina, and you just may have a match made in orgasm heaven.
“A younger man has more energy and is more willing to try things,” says Lindsay Slosberg, dating expert for the app . “In turn, doing new things increases dopamine in the brain, triggering a desire to spend more time together and assisting in lighting your sexual fire.” An even bigger bedroom bonus? A longer span of time before he’s reaching for the Viagra. Photo: Jacob Lund // Shutterstock Sure, you’ll have dinner dates, but also be ready for, say, a 10-mile hike one weekend followed by a concert the next.
Younger men are as adventurous outside of the bedroom as they are inside it, and they’ll bring out a more youthful, vibrant side of you, says Lori Bizzoco, founder and executive editor of . “He will see you as smarter and worldlier, so he’ll want to please you, not just physically but emotionally and intellectually,” she says.
“He’ll come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and youth, and make you feel empowered and appreciated.” Photo: Christian Bertrand // Shutterstock When you enter into a new relationship, it’s no secret you’re bringing former boyfriends along with you. But a younger guy likely is packing less.
“Men can have preconceived notions about women and relationships based on past experiences,” says Samantha Daniels, a professional matchmaker and president of . “The younger and less experienced he is, the more open he’ll be in his relationship with you.” Be forewarned, though: Less baggage can also mean a lack of relationship skills, such as communicating and resolving problems and conflicts, says Melanie Matcek, a matchmaker and relationship coach in San Antonio, TX.
Be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship, she recommends. Photo: Branislav Nenin // Shutterstock If a lot of your guy’s friends are like him—young and single—going out to bars until 4 a.m. drinking, flirting with women, and behaving like a frat boy may be the norm. So don’t be surprised if he chooses hanging with his bros over coming over to your place more often than you’d hope he would. “Many younger men are more connected with their peers than they are with the idea of being a couple,” explains Naples, FL-based author and relationship columnist April Masini.
“They don’t want to miss out on being part of their group, with whom they glean their identity.” Photo: Thinkstock Although you may be ready to walk down the aisle, it can be hard to get a younger man to put a ring on it. “In some cases, a younger guy is developmentally in a different place,” says psychotherapist Robi Ludwig. “He’s not ready for all of the pressures and responsibilities that go along with a committed relationship because his emotional maturity is not fully developed yet.” He’s either scared of love or loves you but feels like marriage means giving up his freedom, she adds—and that means you could be looking at girlfriend status for the long term.
Photo: Jacob Lund // Shutterstock Your biological clock is ticking away, meanwhile his might not even be turned on. Women in their mid-20s to early 30s are prime for baby-making, but “younger men don’t have the ‘dad” gene in them until they get to be more established and mature,” says New York City-based matchmaker Janis Spindel. So if you want kids, it could be several years until your youthful partner is ready to face the reality of raising one.
Photo: Alena Ozerova // Shutterstock Amber Soletti, founder of and . “Being older, you’re more successful and established, while he’s still climbing the corporate ladder or even getting a career going,” she says. “This can de-masculinize a man and make him feel like he’s unable to provide for and protect you.” Even worse, women in this situation may end up being a sugar mamma rather than an equal partner. “A man can sometimes make his girlfriend feel like more of a mommy-figure than a peer,” Ludwig says.
In some cases, the guy is just drawn to a woman who takes care of him, but beware that some men may be true gold diggers looking for a free ride or to be taken care of financially, she adds.
Being the breadwinner may not matter to you if, say, he makes an amazing dinner every night so you don’t have to worry about cooking or he’s a great handyman and has updated your entire apartment, but only you can decide that. Photo: nenetus // Shutterstock
Dating: 20s Vs. 30s