Ask a guy for tips on how to ask a guy out, and he might give the following advice: Step 1: Walk up to the guy. Step 2: Say, would you like to go out with me?. The older you get the harder it becomes to figure out how to ask a guy out. If you’re in your 30s or 40s, an overwhelming majority of the men you meet are unavailable (62% of Gen Xers are married). The rest, it seems, are gay. So how are you, a woman who’s had her shares of ups and downs in her romantic history, supposed to figure out the best way to ask a guy out, especially if you’re not even sure he’s an eligible bachelor?. Dating apps are a numbers game, so look at every time you ask a guy out as practice for the next yes. One Final Lesson: Trust Your Gut. I don’t care if you meet a man at a bar.
Why is it important? What is important is that the guy is disease free. Take a test together so you both know. I used to ask about people’s past, and then I stopped caring. Do you know why I stopped caring? Because it dawned on me that the woman I was with, chose me. Could bad things happen that could have been indicated and possibly prevented by discussing dating history.
Yes, but when there have been bad things that happened in someone’s dating history and I they told me about it, the truth wasn’t told, so I was no better off, but what it did do was open up a floodgate of insecurities. There are bad things that could happen that wouldn’t be indicated by a person’s dating history. If someone decides to be with you, I have a hard time understanding how sharing knowledge either of your past relationships will have a positive effect on your current relationship.
This has worked the same way when I have shared my dating history. I have had a woman ask me questions about exes and I don’t like to say too many bad things about my exes because there’s no reason to. We aren’t together any more. When I have been pressed on things like why we broke up, I state things in a factual manner. When a woman saw that things were and I wasn’t resentful towards my exes, she felt like I was putting them on a pedestal.
In truth, years had passed, and I had learned lessons from those relationships. My exes were my exes for a reason. It didn’t work out then, and it wouldn’t work out now. But this became an ongoing issue in our relationship. And it was aggravating because it was an issue that had no basis in reality. The only reason that I might want to know about this is if there was a possibility that while a woman and I were making out, that her ex might walk into the room and say, “Howdy, partner, mind if I join in?” Pretty much any time, but especially before you marry him, or really before you enter into any joint venture or contract with him.
If you have any doubt about a man due to his dating history, it would be wise to keep some distance in the event that you have to bail the f*** out. If you’re married, that’s going to be a really nasty experience. If you don’t have any joint bank accounts, no contracts or loans that you’ve co-signed with him, and really if you can just walk away cleanly because you don’t share any responsibilities with him, that’s the ideal way to be until you’re convinced that his dating history, as well as the rest of him, is of an acceptable quality that you trust him enough to be more involved.
Good for you for being cautious and careful about dating. Careless dating isn’t something that official organizations, such as the CDC, investigate as a cause of health problems, but anybody who’s had to extricate herself from a bad relationship can tell you that it can be highly stressful, unpleasant, and perhaps even physically and financially dangerous.
It’s always good to be prepared.
best dating advice ask a guy you re - When is a good time to ask a guy you’re dating about their dating history?
Ask a guy for tips on how to ask a guy out, and he might give the following advice: Step 1: Walk up to the guy. Step 2: Say, would you like to go out with me? But it can’t be that easy…can it? The older you get the harder it becomes to figure out how to ask a guy out . If you’re in your 30s or 40s, an overwhelming majority of the men you meet are unavailable ().
The rest, it seems, are gay. So how are you, , supposed to figure out the best way to ask a guy out, especially if you’re not even sure he’s an eligible bachelor? First, Why Should You Ask a Guy Out? Asking a guy out makes you come off as confident and sexy. You might be thinking to yourself, Adam, I’m a traditional gal.
I want the man to ask me out. Convince me why I should go all . I’m willing to bet that it’s less that you’re a traditional gal and more that you’re afraid of the prospect of walking up to a man you’re attracted to and asking him out…then having him reject you…or even laugh at you. But think about it: why should men be any less afraid? And with all the female empowerment vibes we’ve been experiencing since the explosion of feminism in the 1970s, there’s simply no excuse for why you can’t take initiative.
The man you have your eye on may very well be interested in you, but with all the #MeToo conversations, he may not want his intentions to be misunderstood. In fact, . So if he’s afraid you might take his advances the wrong way, he’d rather not take the risk. Your option?
Ask him out yourself! You are a strong woman who should fear nothing. I’m going to give you a few scenarios that you can use to ask a guy out, but in truth, it doesn’t matter which you use. The most important thing is that you are confident when you do it. Men love confident women and find them sexy, so as long as you have that going for you, you’re golden. 1. Ask Him Out on a Group Date For most women — especially post-divorce or big relationship — the biggest barrier to figuring out how to ask a guy out is .
You may kick ass at work or be known as the outgoing one in your group of friends… But the idea of having a man turn you down is simply more than you can stand. You just can’t take the confidence reduction. So this strategy is good if you simply : invite him to go out with you and a group of friends. From the outside, it looks like just a bunch of platonic friends are having a night on the town.
And if that’s all he wants — to just be friends — then it’s no harm, no foul. You’ll all go out and have a great time. You might be sad that he doesn’t have romantic feelings for you, but you never know: you might just end up with a cool new friend.
On the other hand, he may accept your invitation and, after spending time with you, realize that there’s a spark between you. Either way, you win. And rejection is minimal. Maybe next time you’ll have gained the confidence to ask him out one-on-one! 2. Ask Him for Coffee How to ask a guy out: start with coffee. Here’s how to ask a guy out while also minimizing the risk of rejection. Coffee is such a safe activity that few people will turn it down if they’re available. If he’s not into you and he makes a big deal of it ( er, I don’t like you that way.
I’m seeing someone. I’m a celibate monk!) all you have to say is: Jeez. It’s just coffee. I guarantee he’ll feel like an ass.
Coffee is a low-pressure situation. There’s no giant financial outlay (something he may be sweating), and no alcohol that may dull your senses. And it’s short! If things don’t go well, you’re in and out of there in under an hour. If they go well…well…sip slowly or order another latte. 3. Use the “I’ve Got an Extra Ticket” Trick Some of these tips for asking a guy out may seem cheesy or like he’ll see right through them, but I’m telling you: they work. That includes the ole I have an extra ticket to this really cool event.
Wanna go? If you’ve seen How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (and of course you have!), you remember that Andie pulls out highly-coveted basketball tickets.
Can Benjamin resist? Of course not. But consider what type of tickets you want to offer. Will he agree to go with you to a Celine Dion concert?
Only if he really really really likes you. He’ll be more inclined to say yes to accompanying you to a sporting event, beer fest, or concert for a band he likes. Now, keep in mind that if he can’t or won’t go, you’ll be stuck with two tickets, so make sure it’s something you actually want to go to. And have a backup friend who will go if your plan fails. 4. Leverage Your Mutual Interests Find common interests to base your date on. A guy in your friend circle is as into surfing as you are.
This is a fantastic opportunity for you to turn that common hobby into a date. The best way to ask a guy out is to do so in such a natural way that he doesn’t immediately realize you’re asking him on a date.
So I surf every Tuesday at sunrise. I’d love a surf buddy. You in? There’s a meteor shower tomorrow night that you can see from the top of Mount Franklin. Would you want to hike up with me?
Because he’s into the activity, you’ve got a good chance that he’ll agree to accompany you. And if he can’t make it, he might suggest another day for the same activity. 5. Use a Terrible Pickup Line This tip will help you master how to ask a guy out in a bar or at a party where you haven’t yet met.
You want to engage in conversation, but also want to make a memorable impression. , so why not turn the tables by giving him one yourself? Do I know you? Because you look a lot like my next boyfriend.
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber. Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material? I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours? You’re not aiming for smooth here, but to get a laugh. Getting a guy to laugh breaks the ice and makes it easy to move in for the kill…er, ask him out. It will, at the very least, open the door for an interesting discussion.
You two can compare pickup lines and have a few laughs. 6. Buy Him a Drink Turn the tables: buy HIM a drink! Here’s another strategy on how to ask a guy out that is traditionally done by the male, but for no good reason. We’ve all seen episodes of Sex and the City where Carrie and the ladies are given Cosmos sent over from some suave man in the corner who gives a confident head nod when they look his way. What if you gave that confident head nod as the object of your affections looks up to see who sent him a Bud Light?
It’s not common for women to buy men drinks…which is why this works so well! He’ll be so blown away by the gesture that he will immediately walk over and introduce himself.
What happens next, my sexy lady friend, is up to you. 7. Have a Friend Talk to Him for You Here’s another scenario if you’re in a bar or at a party. Women have been doing this move since junior high, as far as I can tell, but it works. Have your wing woman go over to the guy you’re eyeing and ask if he’s single.
If he is (and straight), she can point you out. My girlfriend over there keeps making eyes at you, and I’d like her to stop. Can I tell her you’re absolutely not interested? (a little reverse psychology) My friend over there wants to invite you to our table for a drink. Coming? If he’s with a table of men, invite them all over. What man would say no to an offer like that?
By the way, . Erin Davis is helping New York City women find love by hiring her to be their wing woman at events, where she helps them meet the men they’re interested in.
Future career move for you?? How to Ask a Guy Out Through a Specific Channel Use the techniques that best fit the channel to ask him out. In person. Text. Dating app. Each is a potential channel you can use to ask a guy out…but each requires very different strategies. Let’s look at each and which techniques work best. How to Ask a Guy Out In Person Most of the techniques apply to the in-person ask-out, but I do have a few more tips on how to ask a guy out in person: • Smile, smile, smile! If you portray that you’re having fun (not terrified, which is the truth), it’ll feel contagious, and he’ll have fun too.
• If you’re not ready to do the big ask, engage in chitchat. It will put you (and him) at ease. • Read the situation. What’s his body language telling you? Only ask him out if it seems positive and he seems interested. • When you do ask him out, ask for a specific activity or date.
Vagueness only complicates things. How to Ask a Guy Out Via Text Texting is a challenge because it’s hard to assess attitude and intent. How do you know if he’s really into you through words and emojis?? (By the way, ) It can be tough to know if a guy is into you via text, so I encourage you to have at least a couple of live phone calls or Facetime so you can better gauge interest.
But in general, if he’s being consistent in texting you every day or two and is engaged in the conversation, all signs look good to me to ask him out.
Here are more tips on how to ask a guy out over text: • Keep it simple. Just say Do you want to try that new brewery with me this weekend and wait.
He may not have seen your text yet, so don’t keep blathering after the ask. • Strike while the iron is hot. Wait to ask him out when you’re in the middle of a conversation, not out of the blue.
• Be cute. Try something like Would you like to go out with me? Text Y or N. How to Ask a Guy Out Via Dating App . It’s a necessary evil for many in the dating game. But in the long run, it can really pay off: a recent study shows that ! So hang in there! Here are a few tips on how to ask a guy out if you met him on a dating app or site. • Do it sooner rather than later. If you wait a week or more, the impetus is gone and you likely just have a penpal.
Strike early, while the iron is hot! • Some apps, like Bumble, require women to make the first move, so men there already expect women to be more assertive than on other apps. Try it! • If you get rejected, dust yourself off. Dating apps are a numbers game, so look at every time you ask a guy out as practice for the next yes. One Final Lesson: Trust Your Gut I don’t care if you meet a man at a bar.
Get introduced through a friend. Swipe right on him. However you meet a dude that you want to go out with, there is one single thing you need to do before trying out any of the above strategies: Trust your gut. What does your instinct tell you about this guy? If he’s been in the corner chainsmoking and throwing back PBRs like there’s no tomorrow, I don’t care how “hot” he is.
He’s probably not for you. But beyond a superficial assessment of his personality and where he falls on the whole Good Guy/Bad Boy spectrum, also trust your gut on whether the guy is even into you or not.
I know: you get excited when you meet someone interesting, and you start to create all sorts of what-if scenarios. What if you go out and have a fabulous time? What if he’s a great kisser? What if you made beautiful babies together?
Whoa, Nelly. Before you start naming your kids together, take a deep breath and pay attention to his behavior. Is he leaning into you when he talks? Finding an excuse to touch you? Laughing at all your jokes? Or… Does he have his arms crossed? Is he looking around the room to see who is more interesting?
Does he keep checking his watch? It’s important that you have a real understanding of about how he feels about you. You might want it to be telling you that he’s into you, but you can’t make that be so. If he’s not into you, you can save yourself some embarrassment (see above mention of rejection) by not asking out a guy who only wants to be friends. Also, some guys prefer to do the asking, and you asking them out will blow their minds.
They may not react well. So also pay attention to that vibe. Does he seem like the kind of guy who needs to take charge? Would it be better to wait until he asks you? So, yea. Trust your gut. It’s sometimes smarter than your heart, and will tell you all you need to know. Conclusion: Learning how to ask a guy out will take some practice. You very well may get rejected from time to time. But that’s all part of it.
And getting turned down isn’t the end of the world, is it? You don’t know what’s going on in a man’s world that makes him decline your offer to go out. He may not be single. He may be hurting after a breakup. He may be gay. He may be busy. He may not be looking for a relationship right now. So don’t immediately assume you’re a hideous swamp monster and that this is the reason he said no. Be confident in knowing he wasn’t the right guy for you, and take that rejection in stride.
Use the experience as practice. What would you do or say differently next time? What can you learn from the situation? Maybe next time you wait a little longer before asking him out. Maybe you use that intuition a bit better. Be patient. If the conversation is flowing, use it to get to know each other a little better before you worry about going on a date. But the feeling when a guy says yes when you ask him out? Magical. You’ll feel like you’re on top of the world. Like you are the sexiest, most confident lady in all the land.
And you are. So own that. Embrace that feeling — even before you’ve asked him out — so that sexy confidence is exactly what you give off. Because that’s mad appealing. Share your tips on how to ask a guy out…and your experiences doing so in the comments below! Men love confident women. That’s why I’ve created a special report that gives you the lowdown on what you need to do to come off as a high-value woman that he desperately wants to spend time with!
When I started writing Ask a Guy, I had no idea that it would take off like it has. I am grateful to have such loyal readers who contribute great questions to me. But I have a confession to make: I don’t answer every question that comes into my inbox. I would love to be able to – I just don’t have the time. I feel bad when I don’t respond.
But on a positive note, I can offer the next best thing: A consolidated post all about answers to the most frequently asked dating tips and relationship problem advice questions that I see. We also just released a book based on the most frequently asked questions we receive: “.” You would be amazed (or maybe you wouldn’t be) at how often I am asked if a guy likes them or not.
Or what it means when he didn’t text back right away. Or why a guy was interested one minute, then lost interest seemingly for no reason. So to help out everyone who I am not able to answer directly or immediately, I’ve written up a list of the most frequently asked questions and quick and simple answers (as well as links to full posts I’ve written on the subject.) What would you say are universal truths about relationships?
Relationships are messy at times – even for those of us that like things clean (no drama). Having a good relationship doesn’t mean no messes. Having a good relationship means continuing to love (the verb form of love) actively throughout the good times, bad times and normal times. There was a woman I was talking to at a bar a few weeks ago. Really attractive, though older than me (10 years older actually).
Great conversationalist. At one point, we got onto the subject of relationships, men and women. Between swigs of her martini, she told me she was going to share the most important lesson she ever learned about men, women and dating: Men are idiots.
Women are crazy. If you can find a man who is less of an idiot than most, or a girl who is less crazy than most, then you’ve done well. Amen. What’s the State of My Relationship? One things I’ve noticed happens a lot.
A girl will observe something… a behavior, a statement an action and try to figure out what it means about her relationship. Here’s a whole boatload of common relationship stuff. Does He Want a Relationship? or What Does This Mean About My Relationship? or Is He Serious? This is one of the big ones. Here’s a curriculum of common situations (and what to do about them) to check out: , , , , The Reason (from a female prospective) And then for those cases where you’re not looking for a relationship, but want your needs met… Figuring Out Why Things Happened The most common types of questions all boil down to amateur detective work on why a guy didn’t do what the girl wanted him to.
Here’s some of what I consider some of my best articles to answer the most common questions: Why Didn’t He Text Back? I could answer it here, but you might as well just read the post all about it: Understanding Male-to-Female Attraction: Here are a couple of hot topics in the realm of male-female attraction.
Check out: , , He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not Another major type of question is trying to figure out the guy’s feelings or where she stands with the guy she’s seeing. Here’s a whole bunch in that arena: Does He Like Me? or How can I tell if a guy likes me? There is a wide range of “does he like me” questions that I get.
They are typically an endless recounting of little details and interactions that swing the poor girl back and forth between thinking he’s into her and thinking he’s not. Let me make this whole thing easy for you: If you can’t tell whether or not he likes you, your best bet is to strongly assume that he does and give him clear and obvious opportunities for him to make a move for you (assuming you’re into him and not just wondering for vanity’s sake.) He’s shy?
Then be patient and give him small, easy, bite-sized opportunities to gradually open up to you. And you can always check out , ?, , Signs He Might Not Be Into You Not everyone is a good match with each other.
And the people we’re most attracted to aren’t always the best matches for us – sometimes they are the worst matches for us! Want to know if you’re on the right track? Check out: , Does He Really Love Me? See here: ?, , Can I Trust Him? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – walking down the path of distrust or suspicion is a slippery slope.
The more you walk down it, the worse things get. Check out these two articles that explore the topic of trust in relationships/dating: Does He Just Want Sex? The age-old question: … or something more. On a similar topic, you’ll want to read . Making the Right Moves A lot of the time, I’ll get questions from women who feel in their heart that they want to make a move or move in a certain direction, but really don’t know if it’s the right move or not.
Here are some common questions and my answers. What Attracts Men? Here’s my very best on how to seduce and man and turn him on: and … And my very best on what makes him emotionally bond with you and fall in love: and Making a Long Distance Relationship Work Everything you need to know to have a successful long distance relationship here: Can a Girl Say ‘I Love You’ First?
Short answer is that you can, but probably shouldn’t since you’ll be left wondering if, when and how he would have done it had you not been such an “eager beaver”. Detailed answer here: If a guy doesn’t call, it means he’s just not that into me, right? Maybe, or see what Sabrina says when a guy . How Do I Get Him To Chase Me Again? Sometimes a relationship starts out with the man pursuing you like you’re the center of his universe.
And somehow as time goes on, you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that he’s losing interest in you – he no longer seems to be putting in the effort he once was. To revive that spark, read this now and . On a similar topic, you might find it interesting to know .
How Can I Make This Guy Marry Me? Oh boy… read here immediately: Breaking Up With Your Boyfriend Not all matches are made in heaven and sometimes breaking up is the right move. It’s never fun or easy, but if you’ve got to do it you might as well do it right. Check out . Baggage Claim Department These are the questions where everything would be perfect, except for this one thing… Am I in a Toxic Relationship?: and Understanding Men and Emotional Baggage: My Boyfriend Lost His Job (or is Having Career Problems) and Now We’re Having Relationship Problems: For the majority of guys, upsets at our jobs can dramatically affect our relationships.
Most people don’t talk about men typically relate to their jobs differently than women in terms of how it can impact the relationship (I think people fear being accused of sounding “sexist”).
Ex-girlfriends can be another form of baggage altogether. Still, not all relationships with exes are a bad thing – there are plenty of guys who are friends with their ex-girlfriend and it’s not an issue. The question is, what does it mean for you when your ? It think it’s a very important topic to be aware of.
Check out: When a Man Loses Interest & Things That Drive Men Away Am I Being Needy? Neediness is one of the quickest ways to smother the life out of a relationship with a guy. Check out: and this post about . How Can I Not Be Needy? If that’s your question, then this is a must-read: Where Did He Go? I see it time and time again – everything seemed great, but now he seems distant or maybe he’s even vanished without a trace.
Check out these articles and get some clarity now: , , Is He Losing Interest in Me? Things were going great and now he’s throwing you curve balls that are driving you crazy with confusion and worry.
Get your head sorted out with these: , As a closing note, again, thank you so much for being such loyal and supportive readers. You have all said wonderful and appreciative things to me since I started Ask a Guy and I am deeply and sincerely grateful and appreciative to have your support. Thank you! Hope it helps, – eric charles
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