A surgeon explains how to prevent and manage excess skin after losing weight If you have loose skin after weight loss surgery, your best resource is your bariatric surgeon. He or she will be able to answer questions about your specific condition and make the best recommendation for you. If you've got excess skin from weight lost through traditional methods and exercise hasn't helped, consider speaking to your health care provider.
Dating after having weight loss surgery can be a struggle. Let’s be clear though, dating, in general, these days can be a struggle. Particularly after weight loss surgery, there can be a lot of questions that come up about whether to share that you’ve had surgery with your prospective date, or how to discuss it, or whether to even bring it up at all.
Depending on where you are on your WLS journey, it would be important to address these how you see fit. Tips for Dating After Weight Loss Surgery There can also be a lot of junk that comes up regarding dating that has nothing to do with the weight at all, even when you think it does. There are boundary issues, self-esteem or self-worth issues, and, of course, body image. These come up when you’ve been ghosted, cannot seem to find the right one or all the people you meet seem like duds instead of studs.
While these seem overwhelming, there are tips and tools to help you navigate so you can stay sane while preparing to meet the partner of your dreams. Everyone gets ghosted at one point or another – Don’t take it personally While many people take ghosting personal, it likely has nothing to do with you.
Even if the person is not interested in you, it still is not about you. Many people have a difficult time saying ‘I’m just not that into you,’ and as a result, they disappear because they don’t know how to say it. Dealing with uncomfortable social situations is one of the top reasons that people ‘ghost’ others, especially because most often people don’t want to hurt another person’s feelings.
Yet, ghosting in and of itself can be hurtful because it leaves the receiver asking ‘what happened?’. You may never know the true reason you’ve been ghosted, and it’s easier to just keep moving forward. This leads to my next point. He or She is just not that into you, and that’s okay So, you’ve met someone and he/she is a real catch! You are totally into them, you meet in person and then… crickets. They don’t feel the same way and you may be struggling to wrap your head around why they don’t like you back.
The question you may ask is “What’s wrong with me??” The truth is … NOTHING is wrong with you. This is just a part of the process… for EVERYONE.
Whether they have ghosted, started seeing someone else, or actually gave you a thorough response such as “it’s not you, it's me”, this is likely to happen at some point in your dating journey. Not everyone is up front and you may never know why he/she is just not that into you, and it is essential that you don’t take it personally. When it comes to attraction and compatibility, personal preference is hard to explain. Some people expect an instant spark or attraction while others are more interested in getting to know the person better before deciding.
In other situations, there may be one party that is solely interested in their own sexual needs and not in forming a long-lasting romantic partnership. They may just want to ‘hit it and quit it’. Whatever, the reason, know that dating like most things, is about consistently putting yourself out there and staying resilient when experiencing rejection. It’s okay to say “next” and Don’t take it personally, how many have you rejected? It’s happened to you, so why is it difficult to pass on someone you don’t like?
No one likes to get rejected. It’s important to realize that just like you might have been ghosted or turned down, you’ll have those feelings at some point too. There will be someone who is into you, and you just don’t feel the same way. In this situation, you’ll be the one doing the rejecting.
It’s up to you whether you want to give them the soft let-down or leave the experience without notice. You may take the ‘do unto others as you would have done unto you’ approach, however, no one is really keeping score.
The important thing to remember though is that you will find people you don’t like or aren’t a good match for you in the same way that you may not be a good match for others. Keep on keeping on and don’t turn this inward on yourself. You are worthy and deserving of a good healthy relationship.
Instead of getting down on yourself, refocus your energies on how amazing you are. Then, put yourself back into the dating pool. Tapping into self-confidence and self-understanding Your confidence or lack thereof will make a big difference in how you are viewed by others. If you lack confidence, you’ll likely have this desperate energy about you that gives off the vibe that you are looking to date just about anyone.
Nobody is attracted to someone who will accept anyone. What are your relationship limits? What will you accept or not accept in a relationship? What is an absolute “NO” for you? What are your desires? Dating in some ways is kind of like sales, if you are selling something no one would ever want, why would they ever buy it?
Likewise, if you present with…… “I have a lot of baggage, and I am a difficult person who is not very pretty/handsome, I let people walk all over me, and then when they do, I get passive/aggressive, and when I don’t get my needs met because, well, communication is hard and I’ll emotionally withdraw.” – then what type of person would be attracted to this?
Do you think this person will be easy or difficult to date? Would you sign up for this? Whenever dating, you need to be clear about who you are, what you bring to a relationship and what you are looking for.
What makes you awesome? What makes you great? How do you love and support those who you care about? What do you like to do that makes you unique? What are your best qualities inside and out? It’s also important that you examine your behaviors when in a relationship so that you can create the dynamic you are looking for, not the dynamic you might always have had in previous relationships.
Let’s talk about sex, baby! Sex and Dating. It’s the topic everyone wants to know about. Here’s the thing, consensual sex within the confines of an intimate relationship is awesome.
Likewise, if you decide to have sex and are NOT in a monogamous relationship, and you choose this consciously, please be aware of the emotional consequences. Whether you are going to have a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship, one-night-stand, booty calls, or any other type of arrangement, look into WHY you want to engage in this type of relationship.
Is this healthy for you emotionally? What do you hope to gain from this? Your awareness into this is key. There is no judgment here, only that you are fully aware of the emotional consequences of engaging sexually with multiple partners and how this may impact your life.
Many post-op patients still see sex as love and the feelings of rejection after engaging in a sexual relationship without commitment can be emotionally devastating. Having sex will not make someone love you more if they didn’t already care about you.
Additionally, women get far more attached in a sexual relationship than men. So, if you are on the fence about whether to have sex or not to have sex, use your better judgment to look at the situation holistically. It’s also important to discuss and address the issues of replacement behaviors and transfer addiction in this section as well because some people may hop over to sex after weight loss surgery because they can no longer eat the way they used to.
Trading one behavior for another is not healthy and if you notice this happening as a post-op, it would be important for you to reach out and address this with a counselor sooner rather than later. Other sexual issues to discuss are using protection if you are not in an exclusive relationship as STDs are still possible no matter your age, weight, gender, sexual orientation, etc.
This is also an important issue to discuss with your potential partner before engaging in sexual behaviors. If you have difficulty with this conversation, that will also give you insight as to your sexual readiness. Communication is key Interpersonal communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If you feel that you are not an effective communicator or you have unhealthy communication patterns, it may be a good thing to get in touch with a therapist to help you work on this.
Take a look at your past relationships and examine what went right, and what went wrong. This will give you insight into your own relationship patterns and what you can improve upon.
Whenever entering a new relationship, it’s also important that you don’t hold this person responsible for the last person’s mistakes. Each person is different, and any baggage you may have could potentially impact your future relationship. Be open and communicate your needs. Have fun with the dating process and get to know the person before making any long-term decisions. This will help you gain more insight into yourself, into them, and help you as you move through the dating process.
The next time you get onto a dating site or meet someone in person and begin to , take a deeper look into what you desire in a relationship and what you are putting out there. This awareness will help you grow. Also, remember to not take anything personally as you may also be judging as others judge you. It’s all part of the process. Be resilient.
Love yourself. Release the fears. Have fun. Enjoy the process. Best to you on your dating journey! ABOUT THE AUTHOR is a licensed psychotherapist and certified transformational mindset mentor guiding individuals to embrace healthy habits, relationships and fuller lives after WLS.
As a WLS patient herself, Kristin understands the challenges of WLS patients. She is the founder of and author of the "Bariatric Mindset Success: Live Your Best Life and Keep The Weight Off After Weight Loss Surgery" book.
best dating after weight loss surgery - Life After Weight Loss Surgery
Exercise plays a critical role in helping bariatric patients to achieve long term success in their goals to lose weight, live a healthy lifestyle and maintain their desired weight once achieved. It is recommended that you work with your and a fitness professional to develop a program that addresses your unique needs including your personal preferences, ability and your goals for weight loss and a healthy active lifestyle.
1. When can I start exercising after bariatric surgery? Physical activity after weight loss surgery will help you recover more quickly. It will help improve your circulation, reduce the risk of blood clots, promote wound healing and improve your bowel function. During the first week you can start walking. Initially try and take several short walks per day. You can move around the house, shower and use the stairs at home.
If you have laparoscopic surgery, you should be able to do most of your regular activities in two to four weeks. It may take up to twelve weeks if you have open surgery.
Walking is encouraged on a regular basis to increase your physical activity level. You should increase the distance and intensity as you feel able and aim to walk 10,000 steps per day. Aerobic activities such as brisk walking and biking can also be engaged soon after weight loss surgery. These will be limited generally by the degree of discomfort that these activities cause. You may start swimming once your surgeon has determined that the wounds have healed sufficiently. Activities that are more strenuous or that involve lifting weights are generally discouraged for three weeks after surgery.
This can vary so consult with your surgeon first¹. 2. What exercise can I do after weight loss surgery? You will probably be given an exercise plan that starts gradually with low to moderate amounts of physical exercise, such as 10 minutes a day, before the amount is gradually increased. The exercise should be intense enough to leave you feeling out of breath and getting your heart beating faster. When you feel ready, you should look to include a variety of exercises in your programme that increase your endurance, flexibility and strength.
Try to combine aerobic exercises, to reduce your body fat, with weight resistance exercises that will build and strengthen your muscles. The best types of activities to choose from include low impact exercises such as swimming, cycling and walking. Yoga, dancing, jogging, aerobics classes and light weights are also popular after bariatric surgery. 3. How much exercise should I do? It is recommended that adults should aim to be active daily.
Over a week, activity should add up to at least 150 minutes (2½ hours) of moderate intensity activity in bouts of 10 minutes or more. One way to approach this is to do 30 minutes on at least 5 days a week. Alternatively, comparable benefits can be achieved through 75 minutes of vigorous intensity activity spread across the week or combinations of moderate and vigorous intensity activity². 4. What are the benefits of an exercise programme?
A healthy lifestyle incorporating an exercise programme will offer you many benefits including: • Maintaining weight loss • Boosting your metabolism • Reducing your risk of developing heart disease and some types of cancer • Enhancing your self-esteem and confidence • Helping develop and maintain muscle strength, endurance and tone • Promoting joint stability, bone strength and integrity • Aiding your ability to perform daily living activities • Improving your skin elasticity • Elevating your mood, reducing stress and anxiety • Improving your overall health, well-being and mental outlook 5.
Can exercise help combat the excess skin after weight loss surgery While weight loss surgery can successfully remove the fat in your body, it cannot cause your skin to revert to its pre-obesity tightness and firmness. If you have been obese, especially for many years, you may be left with excess folds and rolls of skin, particularly around the breasts, tummy, hips and limbs.
These folds and rolls can be difficult to keep clean so you may be vulnerable to developing rashes and infections. Muscular toning will help tighten and firm up your saggy skin. However, you may consider to remove the excess skin. It is best to discuss with a consultant plastic surgeon your cosmetic surgery options such as an and . Ramsay Health Care offers cosmetic surgery options for patients who have lost a large amount of weight. for more information about cosmetic surgery after weight loss.
6. I never used to exercise before surgery - can I now? If you haven’t exercised or been active in a long time before your weight loss surgery it may be a daunting prospect to start an exercise programme.
Also, excess body weight often restricts your ability to be physically active. It is important for you to understand how to work around these mobility limitations. You will need to develop your own exercise routine that allows you to get out and be active. • Swap screen time with time to improve fitness and energy levels. • Be sure to start off slowly to prevent injuries. • Taking a 5 to 10 minute walk every day is a good start.
• Increase this amount until you are walking 15 minutes twice a day. • Don’t feel that you need to join a gym to exercise as there are many other options for you to consider such as walking your dog, gardening, cycling, dancing around the house, housework or playing sports. Talk to your bariatric surgeon about the best exercise regime for you. 7. Top tips • Begin your exercise program gradually and increase how much you exercise slowly.
If it is becoming easy increase the amount of repetitions, time or distance. • You should always consider that if it hurts when you do something, stop doing that activity. • Develop specific, realistic and achievable goals for your exercise program. • Vary workouts to alleviate boredom. • Chose physical activities that you enjoy as you will be more likely to continue doing them.
• Activities that can be incorporated into everyday life may be easier to keep to, such as brisk walking, gardening or cycling. • Find the best time of day to exercise; you may prefer exercising first thing in the morning or last thing at night.
• Keep your walking shoes or exercise clothes in the car. • Aim to walk 10,000 steps per day and buy a pedometer • Always leave at least 2 hours after eating before you start exercising to help avoid indigestion, heartburn and getting a stitch. • Give your muscles at least 24 hours to recover following a workout to allow them to strengthen and recover properly. • Drink plenty of water. Your smaller stomach following surgery can make it tough for your body to absorb the water it needs, especially during and after exercise.
Always have water by your side and drink regularly. Here you can find our . Read more to find answers to the most common questions including: pros and cons of , , , and , how to choose a weight loss surgeon, exercise after weight loss surgery, etc. About Ramsay Health Care is a leading provider of in the UK. Ramsay offers weight loss procedures performed by experienced who are highly qualified and have undergone intensive specialist training.
At Ramsay Health Care your weight loss surgeon will work in a who liaise with each other to provide the best plan of action for you. They include a dietitian who will meet with you and produce a bespoke eating plan, and specialist trained nurses who will be by your side during your journey to offer support and guidance to ensure that you achieve your goals.
for more details. ************************ References ¹ ² Ramsay Health Care UK Operations Limited (Ramsay) will use your personal information to provide you with a response to your enquiry such as to confirm treatment/specialist availability, a treatment price quotation or booking an initial consultation. Information collected via our contact form or telephone numbers displayed on this website may be shared with healthcare consultants who provide treatment about which you are enquiring under strict confidentiality agreements.
Ramsay is committed to protecting the security of your personal information. Any information sent via this website, will be sent securely using industry standard secure connections and safeguarded and processed in accordance with the requirements of the Data Protection Act 1998, as amended from time to time.
Further information can be found at . Ramsay Health Care UK Operations Limited (Ramsay) will use your personal information to provide you with a response to your enquiry such as to confirm treatment/specialist availability, a treatment price quotation or booking an initial consultation.
Information collected via our contact form or telephone numbers displayed on this website may be shared with healthcare consultants who provide treatment about which you are enquiring under strict confidentiality agreements. Ramsay is committed to protecting the security of your personal information.
Any information sent via this website, will be sent securely using industry standard secure connections and safeguarded and processed in accordance with the requirements of the Data Protection Act 1998, as amended from time to time. Further information can be found at .
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DATING AFTER WEIGHT LOSS