I am falling in love too fast – familiar to you? Love is a wonderful feeling that everyone dreams to find. However, what if you fall in love too fast? How not to lose your head and keep it cool? First of all, honestly answer the questions, “Can you fall in love too fast? Does love make you better?” Maybe, it just takes all your energy and gives nothing in return. We are all very different. So, one man, having fallen in love with an actress or a singer, can immediately adopt new hobbies, he can start learning a foreign language in order to understand the texts of the songs better, o .
Can You Relate To This Story? You meet an amazing girl. She’s a breath of fresh air and has everything you’ve been looking for – looks, smell, personality, humor, voice, skin tone, etc.
She’s “perfect”. The total package. The real deal. On top of that, SHE’S REALLY INTO YOU! You hit it off, become instantly inseparable, and EVERY DAY is spent hanging out or chatting on the phone. You feel like you’ve known each other for years and you can’t get enough… so you become attached quickly.
As the days go by, the intense “feelings” keep increasing and it’s pure euphoria. You’re way happier than you’ve been in LONG TIME, maybe happier than you’ve EVER been, and within days or a few weeks, the feelings become so intense and you’re flooded with so many emotions that you tell her you love her – WAY SOONER than you normally would.
Luckily, she’s cool and admits she feels the same way and both of you are on cloud 9. After it’s reached its climax, sadly, AS FAST AS it blossomed, the relationship, unexpectedly, falls apart. You’re a freakin’ WRECK. You don’t want to eat, sleep, go to work, or even hang out with friends. You’re depressed because . But she doesn’t come back. THE END. This isn’t the story of every man who falls in love too fast and I’m not saying love is a terrible thing.
But, for a very large portion of us who have fallen in love too fast, it doesn’t end well. It’s happened to me several times. I’ve fallen in love too fast, went all in, and ended up getting my heart stomped to pieces. I went in happy and came out feeling stupid. As Corny As It Sounds, You Must Respect “Love” Love is amazing and feels awesome.
It’s wonderful when the girl you’re deeply in love with is by your side. It’s awesome when she’s on your mind 24/7 and you can’t wait to see her. That’s the top of the emotional scale.
But love is also something that YOU MUST RESPECT and not be irresponsible with… like too many people are today. Love should be a big deal to you and you don’t want to mess around be “in love” with every woman who shows interest. If you’re not smart about love and you behave like a pre-teen girl meeting her boy band crush with every woman you “click” with, love will bite you in the ass every single time. Here are 10 reasons you have to be smarter and more responsible when it comes to falling in love: 1.
Falling In Love Too Fast Can Be Unstable Like all creatures, we’re naturally wired to find a mate. It’s in our DNA. When we don’t have a mate, we naturally feel something is “off”. When we finally find the right mate, the thing that’s a little “off” becomes “just right”. Love gives us extra self-esteem, confidence, and motivation. We can be down in the dumps when we’re single but feel like a million bucks when we’re in love. Like we’re unstoppable and can do or be anything! It makes us feel “complete”.
But, many of us are and we lack emotional intelligence and control when we meet women! When we meet an amazing woman, we go TOO HARD, TOO HEAVY, TOO FAST, fall in love quickly, and it falls apart just as quickly.
The faster you fall in love, the faster it can fall apart. Just like in business, if you grow too fast or make too much money too fast, your chances of sustaining the business or money decrease.
But, when the business grows slowly and steadily along with your money, the chances of your business and money sticking around are higher.
Those who get rich overnight are usually broke within 5 years. It’s the same with love and relationships. It works better when you’re smart and taking it slow, easy, and steady. The Cycle of Falling in Love Too Fast When the quickly blossoming relationship doesn’t work out, it’s the lowest of lows.
You’re depressed, hating life, and wishing you could stop the negative feelings and emotions. It’s the “roller coaster” effect experienced from falling in love too fast and getting overly attached someone we barely know.
This is the roller coaster effect: • You meet her • Get too excited about and “giddy” • You fail to practice self and emotional-control and things move too fast • Feelings of “love” sprout prematurely • You’re on cloud 9 • Something “bad” suddenly happens • Instead of keeping your cool, you freak out and try to fix it, but nothing works • It ends up “not working out” • You go through depression, sadness, hating life, and feeling like a failure • Eventually, you accept what happened and decide to move on • You meet another great woman, get too excited, and the cycle starts over Balance and stability is key when it comes to love and attachment.
2. Falling In and Out of Love Is Dangerously Addicting Using drugs is like giving your brain a giant piece of candy. Dopamine floods your brain and you feel really good all over. So good, in fact, that the more times you do it, the more drugs you “crave” to combat your brain’s desensitization to it! When in love, as well as other chemicals associated with pleasure and excitement. These chemicals give you a natural high and make you feel fantastic. Your “pain”, frustration, worries, and anxiety just vanish.
But like drugs, if you overdo it and you’re irresponsible, falling in love becomes DANGEROUSLY ADDICTIVE. Ever seen someone who was always in love with a different person every time you saw them and their relationships never lasted long?
They meet someone, fall in love, get bored, go through the emotional roller coaster, post pity-seeking stuff on Facebook, and then find someone else to make them feel that “high” again. It’s an addictive cycle!
They’re addicted to the POWERFUL “love chemicals” that make them feel really good. When the feeling is gone, they fall in love too fast AGAIN to get another “hit” of it. They’re, for lack of a better term, “love addicts”. 3. Falling In Love Too Fast Can Indicate Low Standards You’re pickier about who you get close to and develop feelings for when your standards are high and women don’t want men who latch onto every girl that comes along. It looks desperate and needy. Become absolutely clear on who you do and don’t want for yourself and your life and stop settling for just anyone.
Without this line drawn clearly in your mind, you end up with someone you don’t want and who doesn’t, and never will, make you truly happy. Within reason, the higher your standards are, the healthier falling in love is and the more content you’ll be. 4. Getting Attached Easily is a Sign of Low Self-Esteem Low self-esteem men look to boost their confidence and self-esteem with validation from other people.
They’re using people and things to feel better about themselves. Falling in love too fast with someone you barely even know and, then, getting heartbroken hurts your self-esteem, even more. Instead of patching up your self-esteem using the love, attention, and the approval of another person, DO IT WITH YOUR OWN LOVE. Give YOURSELF what you’re seeking in others. Figure out the source of your low self-esteem and begin fixing it.
Start looking on the inside and see what changes you need to make to yourself to start increasing your level of happiness. When you’ve invested enough time and energy into fixing your self-esteem, the need for outside approval begins to vanish.
We don’t need to get attached or constantly be in love to feel better about ourselves. It needs to come FROM THE INSIDE. When the approval and validation is coming from an internal place, your chances of it working out with women increases dramatically. 5. Falling in Love Too Fast Communicates Co-Dependency Co-dependency is depending on others for what you should be handling on your own. You’re unhappy unless you have someone to latch onto – someone who accepts and is cool with your co-dependency.
Falling in love too fast is a sign you’re co-dependent because you easily get attached and fall in love without hesitation or second thoughts. Besides not being codependent, you should . The last thing you want in your life is a woman who can’t function without you by their side. You also don’t want to be the guy who can’t do anything without her by your side as well. Independent men evaluate situations and proceed with caution when it comes to emotions and experiencing “feelings of love”.
They don’t jump blindly into relationships head first. 6. Falling in Love Too Fast Can Be Psychologically Unhealthy Over time, the highs and lows of falling in love too fast takes its toll – psychologically. The emotions you feel when it doesn’t work out physically AND mentally drain you. When you’re down in the dumps, you suffer – you can’t sleep, you’re worn out, and feeling lazy, fatigued, and worthless.
On top of that, your mind isn’t clear, you’re not focused, and you’re mentally and emotionally drained. Experiencing this deeply negative mental state over and over damages you. Studies reveal that chronic or consistent depression can literally . Positive thoughts and experiences in your brain. Negativity and depression kills brain cells, neurons, and nerve connections. So, falling in and out of love too fast leads to constant depression and kills your brain cells.
It also can lead to PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD is a side effect of a traumatic event. Getting your heart broken over and over is traumatic, it cuts deep, and causes pain that can TAKE YEARS to go away.
7. It Communicates Immaturity When approaching any kind of relationship, it’s mature to view it from different angles and proceed with caution. It’s immature to jump head first into something that can affect your life negatively if it doesn’t work out. Too many of us go all-in without thinking about what we’re doing and it ends horribly.
The mature thing to do is to look at the pros and cons of the situation, give it heavy thought, and take it one single step at a time. 8. It Makes You Needy and Clingy Rather than “needing” to be in love or attached to women, it’s better to be happy with being single and pickier in who you date and get into a relationship with.
Neediness takes your attention and focus away from reaching goals and improving yourself and places it all on being in love and having a relationship. Being more concerned with “love” than becoming the best you can be is a big red flag and a sign that you should take a step back from it and reassess your life, situation, and priorities. 9. Falling In Love Too Fast Makes Your Life Chaotic You need peace and stability in your life and the ups and downs of always falling in love too fast takes away from it.
Falling in love to fast and jumping from one relationship to another leads to constant chaos, drama, sadness, worry, stress, and a lack of balance. You may be able to handle the storms for a while, but, over time, it ruins your happiness and peace of mind and drives you crazy. In order to be the man women actually want, you must mitigate the chaos.
10. It Makes You a Weak-Minded Person In the eBook and Audiobook , there’s a part called Learn To Be Happy and Single First. If you aren’t content being single and believe being in one relationship after another increases the amount of happiness you feel, you’re weak. You’re worthless to women. If your life sucks because you don’t have a girlfriend, you’re bringing that “weakness” into your relationships and it’s contributing to its failure.
BUT, if you FIRST before getting attached and falling in love, you’re entering the relationship with a strong mindset and it’s more likely to work out.
She’s much more likely to be happier with you. Invest the time and energy learning how to be happy ON YOUR OWN, first, before jumping into relationships. The Exception If you’re using love to fill a “void” or if you’re addicted to falling in love then, yes, it’s a weak, terrible, and stupid thing to do. But, if you, coincidentally, fall in love sooner than expected, you’re not desperate, you’re not trying to fill a “void”, you’re not being needy, it isn’t something you do often, and it’s 100% genuine, then go for it!
We only live once. Enjoy your life. JUST REMEMBER, MANY PEOPLE FALL OUT OF LOVE AS FAST AS THEY FALL INTO IT.
Its age old wisdom. It’s smart to take your time not rush into love and relationships too often. If she’s moving too fast, SLOW HER DOWN. Thanks for reading, – Marc Summers 4 Dangerous Reasons Not to Fall in Love Too Fast by Matthew Hussey
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For some, we fall hard… and fast. But falling in love too fast can be overwhelming, to say the least. Here’s one woman’s take on this romantic conundrum.
“How do I keep from falling in love too fast?” After spending a weekend on vacation with my new boyfriend, I found myself pulling out my phone, about to text my friend this question. “How do I keep from falling in love too fast?” The weekend was a whirlwind. Amazing adventures. Incredible cuddles. . We talked about future plans: Getting a puppy.
Where we’d live when he moved back east. When we’d be able to visit each other over the next several months while he was stationed out west. And at the end of it, all I could think of was, “How do I keep from falling into this face first?” Because despite how much we often want the fairytale ending, we’re also scared shitless that it’s not going to happen.
I’m scared shitless that it’s not going to happen. Experience has taught us that the majority of our relationships will fail. We’ll try time and time again to meet that perfect partner. We’ll put our hope and our faith into each new relationship, with the promise that we’ll be together forever, only to have the rug pulled out from under our feet.
So when we find ourselves falling fast and hard, like I am, we ask ourselves that question: “How do I keep from falling in love too fast?” Because more than we want that epic love, we want safety.
We want security. We want surety. And we’re afraid that if we dive in too quickly, the plummet to the bottom will be swift and painful. When I realized what I was doing—typing that text to my friend—I slipped my phone back into my pocket and chuckled. Why would I want to stop myself? What is love if not foolish and crazy?
We can’t guarantee anyone anything. Not a lifetime. Not the rest of the summer. And yet we do it all the time. Because that’s what love is: Hopeful.. Strong enough to withstand life’s little curveballs. We love not because we’re guaranteed forever, but because it feels good to love someone and be loved in return. Because it feels good to pour your heart and soul into another human being for a time. Because even if it doesn’t work out, at least you got to enjoy that time together, instead of being miserable and alone, closed off to love and relationships of losing them.
And in that moment, I made the decision to push fear aside and love big. Love deeper. Love harder than I’ve ever loved anybody in my life, because he deserves it. Because we all deserve to be loved and to love full out, without fear. The relief was immediate. I hadn’t even realized how much tension I was holding in my body with that worry that I was making a mistake. Yet the moment I recognized and pushed aside that fear, making the commitment to let my heart do its thing, I felt joy surge through my body.
I felt peace in that moment. And it felt SO GOOD to just rest in that state of love without worrying about the future. Because who knows what will happen? This might be it. It might not. But there’s no sense ruining RIGHT NOW worrying about it. What would life be like if you let the worry go and just loved big? What would that look like, and how would your relationships be different?
About the Author: Shannon Lagasse is a coach, writer, author, speaker, and teacher. Her main passion is helping people overcome the stumbling blocks to getting the life, love, and body they want. Her most recent book “Why Can’t You Just Eat?” about understanding the mindset of eating disorders was an Amazon #1 bestseller.
When she’s not writing another book, you can find Shannon reading or enjoying the great outdoors. Visit Shannon online at , or connect with her on or .
The modern world is a world of fast love. Our grandfathers courted the grandmothers for years. Today we fall in love with the lightning speed.
One look, one smile, one flirt. And relations have already started. The pair is formed literally in a couple of days - and everything is fine: crazy sex, pleasant pastime, joint fun.
It seems that the whole world lies at their feet. But in two weeks the first quarrels begin, the relationship cracks. You may ask yourself “Did I fall in love too fast?” After three months, being together becomes unbearable, anger is stirring at one look at each other. The modern world is a world of fast love but without a .
And everyone wants the last. Problems of falling in love too fast It's really an exciting feeling when you manage to find someone with whom you really have an involvement.
You are worried and dream of all possibilities. You begin to understand what your relationship with this person is, and you just can’t wait until everything starts. But you must be very careful. Although things happen so easily right from the start, it doesn’t mean you have to . Here are a few reasons why you need to be careful when you fall in love with someone too fast. 1. You turn a blind eye to the bad qualities of this person.
You have a tendency to ignore the bad qualities of this person, and when you go deeper into a relationship, you become blinded by them. Before you really fall in love with someone, make sure that you know who this person is.
2. You can lose your selfhood too quickly. Whenever you deeply fall in love with someone and enter into a relationship, there is no denying that you might lose your sense of individuality.
You should be able to create space in your life between your partner and yourself. 3. You aren't really acquainted with your partner. You should be able to see all the sides of your partner.
You can’t just be content with how they treat you. You should see how your partner acts when you are in a group; how they treat family and unfamiliar people; how they behave when drunk, angry, afraid, sad or confused. These things take time. 4. You can be deceived. Of course, trust is an important part of a relationship, and it should be gained. You may think, "He didn't give me a reason to distrust him", and want to give him a chance. But look at the situation from the other side: trust is something you need to deserve.
If he did nothing to make you understand that he is the one who you need, then what kind of trust can we talk about? You rely on words, and it won’t lead to anything good. Reasons why you fall in love too fast When love ends, inevitably comes disappointment.
You see all his/her shortcomings and most often, looking back, you are searching for the answer to the question: “How could I fall in love with THIS?” And understand that it was too soon to fall in love. It seems that next time everything will be different: your partner will be chosen better, and hence relationships will be stronger. Although you realize that you can fall in love too fast, time passes, the hurt is delayed, you meet a new person and the same story repeats.
Why does it happen? For some people, it’s an escape from reality. They are big dreamers. Best of all, they feel themselves in a world of their own fantasies. And in relations with other people, they tend to see not a real person, but the image that they drew in their imagination. But as soon as it becomes obvious that the object of their love doesn't correspond to the ideal, they begin to search for a new one. For some other people, it’s a salvation from loneliness.
Usually, those who fall in love too fast are the people who have a lack of love, attention and, support from childhood. Acutely feeling their loneliness (often feeling abandoned, helpless) and emptiness, they hope that other person will give them what they need so much – care and love. So, the answer is plain to see: we fall in love too fast simply at the behest of the heart, but strong relationships never appear by themselves. We need to build it, often through effort. We treat love as a kind of given.
I love and feel my beloved, as something ideally created for me. But life inevitably disappoints, because people always fall in love with their opposites. Nature is rational and it doesn't throw together the same people: they’ll always be different by their features.
No wonder people say that these are two halves of one apple. Some mistakenly believe that it refers the similarity of partners. No, the meaning is different: not similarity but complementation of each other, additive in those features where it's not enough. For example, if a wife is quick and nimble, then a husband is reasonable and calm. He does the job qualitatively, she is very shifty.
Separately, each of them has their flaws, and together they are powerful. But to become the power they need to understand each other's strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, we often act exactly the opposite: we see our strengths as a model to emulate, and the weaknesses of the partner only irritate, angry and offend us. What kind of relationship can it be? Only quarrels and curses. Don’t build illusions that the problem lies solely in the speed of modern love.
Anteriorly people fell in love and built strong relationships for life. In fact, we see that earlier there were strong relations and significantly fewer divorces.
For the most part, no fate but what we make. After all, we can develop and work on ourselves. Repeating our experience over and over again with new partners, it becomes obvious that somewhere we make a mistake. But where? Here are some tips on how to avoid such problems in the future. How not to fall in love too fast 1. Stay away from the person One of the best ways to defeat your feelings is to stay at a safe distance from a certain person.
This behavior can also cover various social situations, such as meetings with friends and co-workers. Sometimes you should avoid a person with whom you are studying or working together. Stay away from the temptation to start a conversation, otherwise your feelings can only increase.
2. Distract yourself One of the easiest ways not to fall in love too fast is to get distracted. You shouldn't let anyone take control of your thoughts, feelings and, desires. Take care of things that give you pleasure and divert attention from the object of your adoration. Every time you feel lonely, just think about things that make you happy. 3. Focus on the aspects of friendship in your relations Try to put friendship above romance. Perhaps you will be great friends. Think that attempts to build a romantic relationship can hurt feelings and destroy friendships.
After this, you can come to the conclusion that it is better to be friends with this person, and not to build a love relationship. You can write down all the times when you were joking and having fun, and then think about whether it is worth risking such friendship for the sake of a potential romantic relationship.
4. Get distracted by hobbies and other activities Try to devote time to your own interests and needs, so not to think about the person and not to fall in love with them.
Get distracted and direct your energy to your favorite hobby or engage in an all-consuming business that won't leave you time to think about romantic feelings.
For example, you can devote all your attention to such hobbies as painting, literature, music or singing. Try to do sport or become a member of a club. 5. Prohibit yourself to be too affectionate and gentle If you want to learn about how to stop falling in love with each new friend, then this advice is one of the most important for you. Try to stop writing cute SMS for the night or call to share a good news. Don't let them become part of yourself.
6. Stop monitoring them Do not refresh his or her pages on social networks every five minutes to make sure that there is nothing new and interesting. Don’t let yourself become possessed by someone. Have a clear understanding that the more you become attached to a person, the more difficult it will be to break off all ties. Worse, if you continue to pursue him or her, his or her influence on you will grow exponentially.
7. Admit that you are too different to be together There is a big difference between love and just affection. You can attract a lot of people, but it doesn't mean that you can be close and spend the rest of the days together. If someone is handsome, intelligent or just attractive, it doesn't mean that you must love them. The choice is yours This doesn't mean that everything is lost and modern fast love is doomed to failure. Quite the contrary. Just today, there are new life circumstances that we need to adapt to and create strong relationships.
A man is created for strong relationships in a couple. And any contemporary adult can build them. You just need to understand where and how to move. It is possible to build very strong relationships for life out of fast and crazy love.
Pace Yourself: How to Avoid Falling Too Fast