Online dating afficionado Willard Foxton tries out the Tinder dating app for a week, with mixed results.
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In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read. How do I join Vocal? Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. and start creating. To learn more about Vocal, visit our . Ever since I was a little girl, I always had this enthrallment with white men.
Of course, when I was younger, it was little caucasian boys. Don’t ask me why, but that fascination grew as I got older. Being thoroughly attracted to white men could be rough at times. Where I live, there are white men on every corner. However, I grew up in a school where there were probably only nine black kids. Lots of the guys at school were super interested in fucking black girls on the low. In public, though, that was a big no no. I dated one guy from my school publicly and was given a tough time about it.
His friends that were girls would make up outrageous lies: “your girlfriend called me a cracker,” “she flirts with other people,” etc. They would do their normal bullying and it was honestly super pathetic. I dated another guy on the low; however, he was a little older than me.
I was still in middle school and he was in high school. He was one of the "popular" boys. His excuse as to why we couldn’t go public was he didn’t want to be viewed as a “sex offender.” He was just three years older than me. Our age differences were not uncommon in a lot of the couples that went to our school.
Loads of times it has always been every excuse in the book. In fact, in my adult life, I have only dated one man whose family was super okay with me being black. His whole family embraced me. It was probably the best relationship I had been in. We ended up splitting because he wasn’t ready for his friends to know he was knocking boots with a black girl. It crushed me because we had been through so much. He met my friends, family, and I had been there for him when his mother passed away.
While my love for white guys still stands, it hasn’t exactly been a smooth ride. Here I am still single as shit and probably staying that way for a while. Today I wanted to share a few things with you about what I have experienced during my time exploring interracial dating.
Fasten your seat belts, kids. It's about to get crazy around here! Basically someone has given me as well as my partner the stare in EVERY interracial relationship I’ve been in.
The stare normally is executed by an older male or female who is genuinely miserable with their boring lives. The stare has been around for decades and I’m sure it will continue to be.
Basically a lot of people are genuinely shocked that a white man could ever find a black girl attractive. Even still, there are tons of white guys that enjoy a pretty piece of chocolate every now and then. Some guys prefer it! If you ever decide to test the waters dating outside of your race, be prepared for the stare.
You may not know exactly what that looks like right now, but trust me, when it happens, you'll know. Now, I’m not one to toot my own horn. I really don’t even have a horn to toot. However, jealousy paired with possessiveness has been something I have seen grow progressively.
As the years go by, I meet as well as date new people. I’ve found that jealously is projected toward my relationship mostly by white women. Don’t get me wrong, some black girls are super pressed about the fact that they haven’t gotten a taste of white men or even that I'm not dating a brotha. Still, personally, I’ve seen a lot of white girls get super mad. Especially ex girlfriends.
I started seeing this one guy. It just so happened that I was his first black girlfriend. When his ex caught wind, she was livid. She messaged him furiously calling me every prejudiced name in the book. Then she turned around, messaged me in the calmest of tones, trying to warn me that he was a “player.” When I told her I saw the messages one of her twenty personalities flipped to another and she told me to go back to the hood.
He and I aren’t together anymore, but we were for six months, and I enjoyed rubbing that in her face. Now, we are going to delve into possessiveness. For some incredibly idiotic reason, I’ve gotten a lot of comments from white people in general saying I shouldn’t “steal their people.” I’m guessing what they mean is I shouldn’t date white men because they are solely promised to the white women. As false as that is, I still get this comment to this day.
It’s super annoying, but it’s something I’ve learned to just ignore. People are honestly dumb as shit and that’s never going to change. Basically pretty self explanatory. For a while I was super interested in what everyone else was thinking.
I worried about whether or not people judged me for being with a different race. While pretty much all races were up for judging, I learned that my own race was just as quick to judge.
It was actually kind of sad. We’ve dealt with slavery, anguish, and being demonized for centuries, yet we judge each other like savages. It’s the worst. After a while, I learned that not giving a shit was the best option. I really don't care anymore. I win. People honestly assume the worst. That shit’s extremely annoying. People assume that because you are two different races that you lead extremely different lives. Yes, there are some things that black people do that white people don’t, and vice versa.
That’s essentially every single race. Everyone has differences and they shine through. It’s quite alluring if you think about it. But I honestly hate when people assume that differences will break the foundation of what could be a beautiful relationship.
Yes, the texture of black women’s hair is different than the texture of white women’s. And white men worry about greasy hair while black men almost never have that problem. What I don’t get is how the actual fuck that means love and marriage is out of the question. I also hate the assumption that black women seek out white men in order to stabilize their financial situation.
That is not strictly a black girl trait. There are gold-diggers of every shape and color. A lot of women in general work extremely hard for what they have. It’s not exactly fair that we be treated as if we can’t make shit happen on our own. There are so many women that have done amazing things that don’t need a black, white, or purple man to do it.
The number one most annoying assumption there is is that white men only like black women because it is some type of fetish they hold. Fuck no. They like us because we are beautiful chocolate angels. We aren’t as “ghetto” as people like to portray us. And yes, some people portray themselves that way, but you can’t honestly believe that one person represents the race as a whole. That's pretty ignorant. I’m sure some white men do have a black girl fetish, but a lot just find us attractive because we are… I don’t know… HUMAN.
While there are some people who will never accept an interracial relationship there are equally as many that will. Times are changing. I feel like a lot of people are receptive to that.
It’s actually kind of heartwarming when an older person compliments you on how cute you and your partner are. It’s the greatest to know they came from a time where hate boiled over the pot of cynicality (<—not a real word but it is now) and they are receptive to the normality of love in all forms. It's just so freaking great! Being with different people, you learn a lot of different things in terms of culture. It's absolutely brilliant. I’ve learned tons about culture with my past dating history.
It’s so interesting to fall in love with a person and then fall in love with who they truly are. It’s honestly a blessing. Now, I haven’t found my forever yet, but I am pleased with the grace I’ve seen along the way. Some people think that when it comes to difference, it’s a bad thing.
Those are the racist fucks who have been taught to live in their “unpoppable” bubble. Yet they are the first to get triggered. Coincidence? I'm thinking probably not. Differences and unevenness are natural. Differences are an important part of what makes each person unique. Fuck whatever status quo people want you to stick to. This isn’t high school musical, and it’s okay to date whoever you want as long as they aren’t like a pedophile or a serial killer or something. Differences are the building blocks to acceptance.
They guide us closer and closer to it. Some people will never accept that the world is full of different people and that’s okay. The only people who really matter when it comes to your relationship is you. Do what works best for you, not what works best for the shitholes that try to ruin you.
All in all, there are some good and bad things when it comes to dating outside of your race. Everything you do has good and bad qualities to it, no shocker there. However, I don’t think that any of the bad qualities should be enough to deter someone from pursuing a relationship outside of their race.
It is natural to be attracted to all women just like it is natural to be attracted to all men. People also have preferences which doesn’t at all make them a bad person. Some people choose to date strictly within their race and that’s okay. I just feel that it’s highly inappropriate to judge others if they choose not to. I love me a nice vanilla boy. And I don’t think that any bigoted butthole is ever going to change that.
Embrace unity, be the change you want to see in the universe.
best dating from a mans perspective - Tinder dating app review: a man's perspective
What makes a woman attractive to a man? 10 Tips from a guy’s perspective Have you been looking for the secrets to what makes a woman attractive to men? It’s not rocket science, because men are quite straight forward creatures really. They pick up on most of the things to judge a girl, by just be looking at her and, be warned, they are pretty quick to judge!
So, get ahead of the game and read these ten tips on what will catch a man’s eye and get you the right sort of attention from men: 1. A sneaky peek of skin Less, is definitely more, when it comes to flashing a bit of bare skin. Too much will be a turnoff, but just a subtle, tantalising peek will drive a man wild and have him wanting to get to know you better, and desire to find out more.
2. A woman in need is a man’s dream Men just love riding to the rescue of a damsel in distress. Basically, men love to show off their strength; so if you ask for his help, then he will be quick to respond, it gives him a chance to show how much of a man he is; they love it!
3. Oh, that smile! What makes a woman attractive to a man? There are no two ways about it, a smile will easily double your attractiveness! You could even place a supermodel next to Miss Average and, if Miss Average was smiling and the supermodel was not, it would be Miss Average that the man would go for. 4. Eyes…deep as the ocean… Making eye contact with a guy will definitely make him more attracted to you.
Some girls think that eye contact is a bit forward and that the coy, innocent look is better, but this just makes you look cold and uninterested. 5. Make an effort Looks aren’t everything, but a girl who has made an effort to look nice will get a guy’s attention.
You don’t have to dress to the nines, every time you go out, but taking care of the basics will go a long way. Dressing well and looking good will, not only make you look wonderful, but it will also make you more confident, which is another trait in a woman that men find very attractive. 6. A seductive, soft voice You don’t need to take elocution lessons to be able to talk nicely, but a well-spoken woman with a soft, seductive voice is a definite turn on for a man.
It’s all about control; a soft and gentle voice is far more attractive to a man, than a screeching and screaming one! 7. Stroke his ego with a bit of flirting Flirting is an effective art that any girl can learn; it just takes some practice.
Stroke a mans ego with a bit of innocent flirting and you will soon get his attention, and it will put you streets ahead of the competition. 8. Leave a lingering memory with a good perfume, but remember, little goes a long way! Smell is one of our strongest senses and men love the smell of a woman. A good, but not overpowering, perfume will make men’s heads turn in your direction and it leaves a lingering memory with them too.
9. Politeness What makes a woman attractive to a man? Common courtesy will get you a long way. If a man holds a door open for you or gives you his jacket when you feel cold, then smile at him and say ‘thank you’. A man appreciates the simple things like that; guys find a girl who knows how to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ far more attractive, than a rude woman who takes everything for granted.
10. Girly girls And finally, ditch the tomboy look girls, most men don’t find it attractive at all! Men really value a woman’s femininity, it’s what makes you different from them at the end of the day, and that’s what they like!
So play on the best attribute that you have and act like a lady. What makes a woman attractive to a man? Please, feel free to share your thoughts and tips in the comment section below.
Stay beautiful! Sinking Ship • 2 years ago I refuse to believe one person is able to believe the voice of an entire gender. I for one think it practical and attractive of a woman if she wants to throw “style” and “femininity” out the window most if not all the time if it suits her fancy.
Really, that’s what matters right, that one is comfortable being who they are whether they are naturally shy or cold, or outgoing and warm. Besides, if I don’t out a bunch if effort into everything she shouldn’t have to. The damsel in distress is old hat.
“Oh Anonymous-sama please oh please help me fix an issue which I acknowledge is minor and just a petty ploy to her your attention.” I mean honestly, it is such a drag. All content of this site is entirely unique and copyrighted, if you want to share a piece of our content, then place an active link back to www.beautyandtips.com. All information on this site carries only informative and not recommendatory character.
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Valentine’s Day has come a long way since its humble origins. And many men would argue it has gone too far. It’s estimated that it’s now worth in excess of £880 million in the UK alone – and most of this spend comes from men.
But how did it all begin? And what do men really think about Valentine’s Day? How it all began 289: A Christian priest called Valentine is beheaded for secretly carrying out weddings after Emperor Claudius had banned them fearing they weakened his army.
496: Pope Gelasius declared 14th February to be St Valentine’s Day, a Christian feast day. 1415: The Duke of Orleans wrote the first recorded Valentine’s note to his beloved while imprisoned in the Tower of . Three years later King Henry V paved the way for Hallmark by employing a writer to compose his Valentine note to Catherine of Valois.
18-19th century: The passing of love-notes becomes a popular tradition in England and affordable postal services give birth to the anonymous Valentine’s Day card. By the early 19th century factories started to mass-produce cards. The rest, as they say, is history. Image source – Flickr How do men really feel about Valentine’s Day? For most women, Valentine’s Day is an occasion to look forward to – and why not? Any day devoted to chocolates, flowers and other showy displays of love is surely something to be savoured.
For women a surprise demonstration of the strength of their partner’s love is not just wished for but expected. Men, however, can approach the day in a somewhat different manner. Many men have come to dread Valentine’s Day – with all its pressures and expectations.
Others see it as little more than a commercial exercise or simply forget about it all together. Here are some reasons why: Social networks Whereas women will discuss Valentine’s Day plans with their friends, men don’t have the same support network to drive home the importance of the day. Amongst men it’s just not a hot topic of conversation. Reactionary emotions Men don’t tend to show emotions unless strongly provoked to do so – it’s a part of their social conditioning.
The somewhat artificial sentimentality of a prescribed day to demonstrate love on is not something men find easy to slip into. Valentine’s inequality The disproportionate spend by men on Valentine’s Day is just one side of the story.
Many men feel they’re being unfairly pressured to perform by making extravagant gestures and inventing surprises on Valentine’s Day.
If a relationship is about ‘we’ why is it that the onus is only on men? Fear of failure Many men feel that their Valentine’s efforts will be graded or measured against others and this can lead to anxiety or a begrudging sense of duty.
Image source – Flickr Can’t buy me love Valentine’s Day is a commercial event – one billion cards will be bought and sent all over the world this year, the price of roses will grossly inflate and Thorntons will make an extra 110,000kg of chocolate.
You may not be able to buy love but we make a very good job of selling it. With men in the UK spending an average £39.99 on gifts each year (and women less than £20) it’s clear who the onus of Valentine’s Day falls on. 10 most popular gifts that men buy: • Flowers • Chocolates • Romantic meal • Perfume • Cuddly toy • Night in a hotel • Lingerie • UK short break • Jewellery • Beauty treatment And yet sometimes it’s the small things that count. A candle lit room and a private screening of a certain someone’s all-time favourite movie can mean so much more than anything that can be bought for him or for her.
What do you think about Valentine’s day – love it or hate it? Tell us in the comments below or tweet us
The hypocrisy of women not wanting to date short men