How do you keep him interested in you after a first date? Follow these 6 steps and make him want you more than any other woman!. How available should you be? One of the most scary periods in dating is the moment you decide you actually like someone. Because that’s when your brain gets fearful of losing them and you start feeling that urge to keep his attention at all costs Well, that depends. Presumably, since you’re reading this article, you like this guy, which probably means that he took you on a good date and did something to impress you. So let him know! You don’t have to overdo it.
I’m going to show you exactly how to keep a guy interested in your relationship. (Step-by-step) The best part? If you follow these tips to a tee, not only will you be happier within yourself, but your man will be totally in love with you, too. We’ve got a lot to cover, so let’s begin. 1) Love yourself Cliché? Sure. But if you don’t do it, you can’t expect anyone else to. We all have a need to love and be loved. Developing our capacity to serves as a training ground for loving other people.
If you can’t love yourself, you don’t believe that you are worthy of others’ love. And if you don’t believe you’re worthy of others’ love, you’ll struggle to build a . Are you perhaps now thinking that you’re still just dating, and it’s way too soon to be thinking about love? This isn’t about being in love, it’s about laying the foundations for love a little further down the line.
It’s about making sure that you’re loveable and demonstrating to your guy that you’re worthy of his continuing interest. Think back to your very first forays into the world of relationships as a teen. Maybe you were nervous and unsure of yourself. You were probably still figuring out your identity and your place in the world. While some lucky people manage to successfully forge a long-lasting relationship in their early years, most of us just haven’t learned to love ourselves enough at that young age to be able to do it.
As we grow, we learn to love ourselves. Or at least, that’s the theory. But it can be difficult to do, even for the most confident. We’re socialized to think that loving ourselves is arrogant and unappealing, but in fact, it’s the opposite.
Show your man you love and care about yourself, and you’ll be giving him a road-map to loving you. Top tip: Loving yourself can be really hard, because, like everyone else, you’re not perfect. Acknowledge that you have faults, and that everyone does.
Work on changing these, but don’t beat yourself about them. Accept yourself and others will too. 2) Stay interesting and interested In those early days of dating, you might have spent time trying to think up new and ever-more interesting things to do together.
When the initial few dates are over and you’re thinking it might be going somewhere, take care not to slip into doing the same-old, same-old every time you meet. Doing the same things all the time that leads to complacency.
If you do can avoid that complacency trap, this stage is the most exciting part of getting to know someone. The early dates are over, you’re starting to develop a real connection and be comfortable in each other’s company, but there’s still so much to learn and do together. In other words: don’t just watch movies and eat pizza every time you see each other. Keep his interest by staying interesting. Suggest new things to do together. Find places to go neither of you have ever been.
Start getting out of your comfort zone together. Keeping it interesting isn’t just about what you do on dates. It’s about what happens when you stay up late talking about your hopes and dreams. What have you both always wanted to do? Look for the common ground and find the places you connect and intersect. Talk about things you love doing, and the things he loves that you want to know more about. If you’ve always wanted to go skiing, and you know he’s been, ask him about that.
Ask him about the things you know he’s passionate about, and wait to see his eyes light up when he tells you about them. Give him the chance to ask you about what you love to do. There’s nothing sexier than passion. Top tip: This is a great time to start making a few plans together, however small.
You’re getting past the stage of just working date-to-date. It’s time to keep things interesting by giving yourselves something to look forward to. 3) Don’t be nice and you’ll keep a guy interested Image credit: Shutterstock – By Dmytro Zinkevych Being nice sounds like a no-brainer, right?
But spend too much time trying to be nice and you risk being the opposite. In those early days where you’re spending a lot of emotional energy getting to know someone, you can end up feeling a bit wrung out and all over the place. You feel like you’re constantly thinking about how to react and what impression you’re giving. You’re trying to be nice and make a good impression, but you end up putting him off because you’re overthinking everything and it shows (if you think it doesn’t, you’re wrong).
Stop doing this. By trying to be nice all the time, you’re not being yourself. No-one is constantly nice and undemanding. Sometimes, everyone is a bit ratty after a hard day of work, or a bit upset about a family argument, or whatever. It’s OK to not be totally OK all of the time. This doesn’t mean you should be deliberately treating him mean, either. Both being excessively nice and overly mean are game-playing. Neither of them will help you build those all-important relationship foundations that you should be building right now.
The big problem with being nice is that it means you’re constantly trying to live up to an image of the person you think he wants you to be.
Whether or not that’s who you really are. And that is totally counter-productive, because it means you’re building those foundations on shaky ground. Stop being nice, focus on being real. Top tip: Maybe he’s putting up a ‘nice’ front just as much as you are. Guys get nervous too and anxious to make a good impression. If he never seems down or grumpy in the slightest, you’re not getting all of him yet. Encourage him to relax with you so you can get to know him properly. 4) Cook and eat together The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?
Quite possibly. It’s definitely true that eating together can be hot. It’s also a great way to explore your likes and dislikes, to be creative and to make time to focus just on each other. Food brings people together in all kinds of contexts – dating included. Cooking for your man is a fantastic way to impress him. Find out what he loves to eat and make something that will really treat his taste-buds. You’ll keep him interested not only because you’ve made him some delicious food but be cause you’ve shown him that you’ve taken the time to find something he’ll really love.
Then, sit back and wait for him to return the favor. Cooking together can also be a great way to get to know each other. It’s a chance for you to spend time playing around with food, your likes and dislikes and seeing how well you work together. Top tip: If you’re not wannabe chefs, going out to eat is just as much fun as cooking. At this stage of the game, it doesn’t all have to be about extravagance and impressing each other.
This is the time to take him to your favorite backstreet café or noodle bar. Take him to the places you’ve known and loved over the years. He’ll get to know more about you and you’ll both get to eat well in the process.
5) Laugh together When you picture your perfect future with your man, what do you see? Chances are, laughter features pretty highly.
And there’s a good reason for that. Shared laughter is an important part of any budding relationship. It’s a vital part of creating memories, helping you create a bond that can stand the test of time. Being able to laugh together demonstrates to your guy that you have things in common. A shared sense of humor is pretty close to the top of most people’s relationship to-do lists, after all.
Laughter helps you build your foundations. Every long-term relationship will go through hard times at some point. If this becomes a longstanding thing, when it’s your turn to hit a tough period, you’ll have brilliant memories to look back on of the nights you stayed up until 3am laughing together. If you find you’re not laughing enough, what can you do?
Don’t panic – this doesn’t mean you’re not right for each other. It just means that you haven’t got totally into the groove yet.
If you’re not laughing much, it might be because you’re still stuck in anxious first-date mode. Now is the time to move past that and let yourself go a little. Laughing together means you’re able to let your guard down with each other. If you’re finding that hard to do, work on your confidence. Being confident means you don’t care that your mascara is running down your face because you’ve been laughing so hard for so long. Top tip: If you feel like you’re not laughing together much, just get out and do things together as much as possible.
Overcome challenges together. Learn things together. The laughter should follow. 6) Don’t play games You’ve probably heard, or read, a load of advice on the dating ‘game’. Advice like, don’t text back straight away, chat to other guys to make him jealous, treat him mean to keep him on his toes. These rules are, their advocates say, designed to keep a man interested.
Exactly what you want to do, right? Yes, but you’re keeping him interested on false pretenses. If you have to resort to pretending you don’t like someone much to get them to like you, you’re building a relationship on very shaky ground. You might get what you want right now, but you’re not going to keep getting it once the whole house of cards falls down in a few months’ time.
By playing games, you’re not showing him who you really are. You’re not giving him the best of yourself. Imagine this: perhaps he’d fall in love with the real you if you just gave him the chance to get to know her. But if she’s hidden under all the games, maybe he’ll just not bother and move on. Gaming can be totally counter-productive. There’s also the fact that he’ll probably know exactly what you’re doing. Most emotionally intelligent adults can guess when they’re being gamed, and most don’t like it.
You probably wouldn’t be impressed if you figured out that he was taking his dating style straight from some book or online forum, so why do it to him? Top tip: Not playing games doesn’t mean it’s not OK to keep your distance a little. That’s just what emotionally healthy people do. By resisting any urges you have to jump feet first into a full-on relationship you’re giving it the best chance of success, as you’re letting the relationship take its natural course without the pressure of expectation.
7) Be spontaneous Spontaneity is a vital part of being able to have fun and enjoy life. Of course, making plans is fun too, but if you feel you can’t ever just decide to wake up in the morning and go and do something completely unplanned, you’re missing out.
Being spontaneous with your new man is a chance to show him what you’re made of. There’s plenty of time later for the habits and routines that inevitably develop in a long-standing partnership.
And there’s nothing wrong with habits and routines, but we all need a break from them. Routine is associated with work and obligation, spontaneity with fun and freedom. Be the person your guy associates with fun. Being spontaneous doesn’t have to mean that you end up having wild drunken adventures every weekend (though of course, it can if that’s your bag).
It can just mean that you head out for a morning coffee and rather than just going straight home after, you hit the shops for a few hours and then take in a movie. Or maybe it’ll mean that on Wednesday, you suggest heading away for a night at the weekend. You came up with the idea, so he gets to choose where to go. Spontaneity means you both get to take an equal role in making plans, as you do it as you go along. Doing this can be a great bonding experience.
Top tip: If you find it difficult to be spontaneous, try planning spontaneity. Sounds crazy? It doesn’t have to be. Decide that every Saturday, you’ll meet up and just wander around the city looking for fun things to do.
That’s a plan, but it’s a very loose one and will allow you to have all kinds of adventures together. 8) Take the lead sometimes Lots of women are conditioned to think that they should fall in line and do what he wants to do most of the time. Even women who are generally pretty strong and independent, with good careers and a great group of girlfriends behind them can end up doing this without even knowing what’s happening.
Girls are brought up to be nice to everyone and put themselves last. But actually, any guy worth his salt doesn’t want a meek and mild girl who’ll always do what he wants and never have an opinion. If that is what he wants, run a mile, he’s not a keeper. If you’re already a natural lead taker – and lots of women are – great. Keep doing it. If you’re not, then make a choice to be the one who makes the decisions sometimes.
You choose and book the restaurant, rather than waiting for him to suggest something. He’ll love seeing you as the confident, independent woman you are.
This isn’t just about the here-and-now, it’s that foundation-building thing again. Take your turn at taking the lead now, and then if you last the distance, you’ll naturally share the decision making when it really matters.
Things like, choosing where to live or what to call your kids, for example. Top tip: If you find it hard to take the lead, look for areas where you can do it better than him. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, right? So, if every restaurant you go to is terrible, you start picking them. If his taste in movies is awful, you choose. Get this right now, and you’ll be laying the foundations for a proper partnership of give- and-take later on.
9) Get to know his friends Getting to know his friends can be tough, but it’s important to do it. Your guy will want you to get on with his friends. He’ll value their opinion on you, which makes meeting them a little scary, but if you can win them over, you’ll win lots of points with him. And it’s not just about him sizing you up. Meeting his friends is a chance for you to find out more about your guy. If he’s reluctant for you to meet them, maybe he’s hiding something about himself, or his lifestyle.
You can tell a lot about someone from their friends, so if all his friends live at home with their parents and spend their lives playing computer games, maybe he’s not the go-getting personality he’s made himself out to be. Keep your first meeting casual and informal. Suggest you all head out for some drinks together for a couple of hours.
That way, you can get to know each other without too much pressure – and you’ll know that if it’s really terrible, it’ll be easy enough to make your excuses and leave. Getting to know his friends is a vital part of making your lives work together as a partnership. If everything goes well, these people will become your friends, and your friends will become his friends. A good first meeting with his friends can set wheels in motion for years of fun together.
Top tip: Find out who is very closest friends are. These are the people whose opinion will matter the most to him. Spend some time chatting just with them, and maybe offer to buy a round of drinks. This isn’t about being fake, but just about showing that you’re interested in them and their conversation.
10) Be seductive This is the perfect stage for being super-seductive. At this point, your sex life should be getting pretty hot. You’re past any initial awkwardness, you’re getting to know each other but there’s still a hell of a lot for you to explore. This is a great time to make the most of your lust.
Remember that flirting isn’t just something you do in the first couple of dates. If you want your relationship to work out long-term, keep on flirting. Remember that all the flirting you did in those heady early dates isn’t going to be enough to carry you through forever. Flirting in a relationship, however new, isn’t quite the same as flirting in order to try and get someone’s attention.
You’ve got their attention already – flirting at this stage is about keeping them interested and keeping your sex life hotting up. Flirting is about being playful and confident. It’s about showing you care about them and want them to find you attractive. It’s about communicating, building a language of love and seduction between you. It’s about having shared jokes and dirty secrets. Don’t be afraid to go all out and dress up to the nines for a big night out, or cook a three-course candlelit dinner at home.
Don’t worry about being cheesy (unless you go totally over the top). Most guys will love the attention you’re lavishing on them and will want more, and more. Top tip: Flirting and seduction doesn’t have to be complicated. Give them a squeeze on the way past, make a filthy joke or send them a sext. As you get closer, your flirting can get braver. There’s no need to hold back at this stage. This is an excerpt from Hack Spirit’s latest eBook on . Told from a male perspective, this guide gives you clues to the male psyche, helping you navigate the courtship dance in a more informed way.
Check it out . Check out Hack Spirit's eBook on Here's what you will get: • Learn what 'mindfulness' really is and the scientific benefits to practicing it daily • Practical exercises to be mindful throughout the day (even at work) • How to practice daily meditations to enhance peace and clarity of mind • Learn how to practice Yoga and Ujjayi Breath • Understand and implement the 7 key steps to practicing mindfulness Check it out .
best dating how to keep him interested when first - How to Keep a NEW Guy Interested
Is it just by magic that some women manage to keep a man interested while others don’t? Nope. There are some tried and tested techniques that work—given you have a genuine spark with someone, of course.
If you’ve met, you’ve started texting and that spark is there, these are the tips to follow. Be Confident Source Yeah, your ex might have been a douche, your last flirt might have let you down and last night’s date with that other guy really did not go well. That doesn’t mean you aren’t great though. Honor and appreciate yourself because no matter what you say in text messages, this will shine through. Remember: no one will buy something in a store unless they believe it has value.
The same goes for men. You won’t get the guy unless you think you have value. Men and Desperation If a guy so much as senses any level of desperation, he will disappear. So bear this in mind: you’re auditioning a guy to see if he is going to treat you well, take care of you and fit into your life. i.e. you’re checking to see if you’re both heading in the same direction in life. Remember the thing about value? If you give your heart away too soon, the guy will think that you don’t value yourself and he will immediately seize to value you.
How Text Messages Play into Value and Desperation Here’s the first thing you need to know: to show that you have value, you have to show that you have a life. That means that when your phone buzzes, you don’t always pick it up immediately. Why? You’re busy living your fabulous life. I don’t mean that you should never respond to a text straight away. What I mean is that if you always respond to texts straight away, he will get a sense that you don’t have a life.
He might not think as much, but it will act as a turn off. Also, by not always responding immediately, it gives you time a) to do other things that will stop you from losing your head to the guy too soon and b) to consider your reply. Most times, we reply instinctively and it doesn’t always bring about the best results.
If something requires a prompt reply, then reply straightaway—same goes if you are in the middle of a conversation with him. However, if you’re at work or out with friends, focus on what’s at hand, then reply. Think of text messages as bon-bons—savor them before you reply.
Show You’re Interested While you want to leave room for doubt by showing that you are taking your time to decide whether you really like this guy or not (and for your own sake you should), you also have to hint at your interest. Flirt with the guy. Compliment him. Give his ego (or preferably: heart) a bit of a boost. Men like feeling good so make him feel good. Otherwise, why would he want to be with you?
There’s a difference between showing you’re interested and going overboard though. Remember: while you can tell him he’s attractive in one way or another, or praise his skills, you don’t yet know if you want to be with him. Even if you know the guy already, you don’t know what he’d be like in a relationship with you. It’s only your imagination telling you that you know.
Show that You Need Him Source This is one of those controversial things in this modern day and age as feminism has brainwashed women into thinking that they must never confess to needing a man. But you do, right? Isn’t it nice to have friends to rely on for certain things?
Of course. Just as it’s nice to have a man to rely on for certain things. That’s not to say that you become needy. That’s completely different. You don’t need a guy to validate you or to make you happy in yourself, but if your man has bigger muscles than you, it would maybe be nice if he carried your luggage to the airport. If he’s really good at math, it’d be nice if he could help you with that excel sheet you’ve been putting off? If he’s done well professionally, maybe it’d be nice if you acknowledged that and let him feel proud for paying for your meal?
The thing is, men have what a “provide and protect” drive. They want to protect you. They want to feel needed by you. They want you to feel safe around them. They just don’t want you to need them to feel good about yourself. Use Innuendo Once you’ve talked for a while (I mean days, not hours), you can use a bit of innuendo. “Oh, sorry I missed your call, I was in the shower…” Again, make sure you’re not giving him anything; he has to work for that and that’s even further down the line.
Just hint. It’s important that you do things step-by-step. If you start with innuendo or (horrors) naked pics, you end with nothing because you gave him the prize before he fought for it and proved himself worthy of it.
Take things step-by-step. Humor A sense of humor helps. By that, I don’t mean to write jokes from a joke book. I mean use your specific sense of humor. That said, don’t turn everything into a joke or sarcasm—and don’t write “haha” or “LOL” at the end of everything. “I wouldn’t mind spending some time with you… LOL” Uh? “LOL” just ruined the flirting because there’s nothing funny about spending time with him.
Is there? If you say something, don’t always try to “soften it up” by adding a LOL by the end of it. Show that you stand for what you say. Challenge Him Source Men live for the chase. You have to give them just enough encouragement to keep running after you. This is why you are sometimes busy when they ask you out for a date or sometimes don’t reply to a text straight away.
As I always say: a man should not be given priority until he’s proven himself worthy of it. If you do, chances are he will run because he will sense you don’t value yourself. Consequently, he won’t value you. To have fun with a guy, challenge him in your texts. He wants something from you? Ask him to give you something in return. He wants to take you out on a date?
Say that it depends on what kind of date. As also says, men live for maybe. Give him maybe. Don’t play silly games, but do have fun. Play together. Dating is about playing. About playing together to find out if you are a match.
It will take some time to figure out if a guy is really worth it to get serious with. So take your time to figure it out. Don’t sell yourself short. But, did you know that you can completely enchant him just by sending him certain text messages that have been proven again and again to work miracles in any relationship? When I saw this story on Rachel Ray show I was completely shocked, but then I read and it really worked!
Why don't you check it out for yourself? Let us know how you keep him interested via text messages by commenting down below. We'd love to hear your opinion. Maria Montgomery Writer. Social Entrepreneur.
Foster mommy (twins). Change maker. Foodie. Health freak. Nature lover. Creative nutcase. Blogger (Confessions of a Dizzy Blonde). A friend of mine once described me by saying “One minute she’s like the Dalai Lama, the next a dizzy blonde” and maybe that does sum me up…
How To Keep Him Interested After The First Date He drops you off at your house. You say goodnight, get in the door, throw your keys on the counter, and smile.
Wow, a guy you’re actually excited about. The conversation was easy, he made you laugh, you even shared a passionate kiss. But soon comes the anxiety about how to keep him interested…Should you text him right away? Should you say you want to see him again?
How available should you be? One of the most scary periods in dating is the moment you decide you actually like someone. Because that’s when your brain gets fearful of losing them and you start feeling that urge to keep his attention at all costs.
In this article, we’ll go through some simple next steps that will show you how to keep him interested after the first date, and make sure you’re always in a mentally strong place so that you don’t get needy and push him away. 1. Let him know you had fun To play it cool, or to not play it cool? Well, that depends. Presumably, since you’re reading this article, you like this guy, which probably means that he took you on a good date and did something to impress you.
So let him know! You don’t have to overdo it. Just text him to say: “Hey, just got into bed. I had a great time. Thanks for a lovely night! x” Just acknowledging that you enjoyed yourself is important for a man. It lets him know he should keep pursuing and that you’ll be receptive to his future advances. 2. Keep things warm, but don’t overdo it It’s important to strike a balance between showing you’re into him and showing you’re not too needy.
If he texts you after a couple of days, don’t leave it too long to respond or he’ll assume you’re not bothered. Engage in few texts back and forth, throw in a little flirting, but don’t get sidetracked into endless conversation for hours or it will get stale and you’ll lose any mystery.
You want to leave him a reason to get in touch again, or schedule another date to talk in person. So don’t waste all your good conversation on instant messenger! Also, while you shouldn’t be afraid to text him first, don’t do it every time or it will put you in the position of always being the one chasing. Let him be the one to make first contact sometimes – it will let you know if he’s actually into you or not. 3. Build anticipation When you’re texting, talk about other fun things you’d like to do together (not in a sexual way – and if you do go down that route, keep it lightly suggestive, nothing too explicit!) – by talking about activities and interests you’re both passionate about you’ll find it easy to schedule your next date.
And remember – don’t let your conversations just become boring, “What u up to?” chats about your day. Keep things fun and flirty and joke around when you talk. The most important thing is not to overthink your every move. On that note… 4. Don’t get locked in a needy mindset It’s easy to find yourself pacing up and down, checking your phone every five minutes, hoping he’ll keep texting back and worrying whenever he doesn’t.
You get that needy feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you may even start obsessing as you hope he’s still into you. This is a totally destructive mindset that will slowly drain your confidence and make you act weird around him, because he’ll sense you’re trying too hard.
So in this stage, you must find other ways to keep your OWN life interesting. Invest in your friends. Find activities you love. Make time for your work, family, art, exercise, things that make you excited. The worst thing you can do is invest all your happiness in this new guy who you barely know, thinking that you’ll suddenly be depressed and lost if he doesn’t like you.
At the end of the day, I know this sounds cheesy, but if he doesn’t see how amazing you are, and you have to play constant mental chess moves just to keep him interested, he’s NOT your guy anyway.
5. Let him in gradually One of the crucial ways to keep him interested is not to “jump the gun” too quickly. Just because things went well the first time, don’t assume you’re now officially exclusive or dating. Keep your options open, at least to begin with.
Don’t start cancelling other plans just so you can fit him in. If you can only see him one evening this week, then so be it. There’s always time for things to grow if it goes well, so don’t feel the need to skip ahead in the relationship. Or maybe he wants you to spend the whole weekend with him, but you already made plans for drinks with friends that night. Ok then he’ll have to wait – go see your girlfriends and pencil him in for next week. It’s good for a guy to see in the early stages that you have other commitments (as long as you do actually have room for him somewhere within those – if you’re always busy and rigid in your schedule a guy will eventually lose interest, thinking it’s too much effort).
6. Show you have more than one gear If you want to keep him interested, you need to show many sides to your personality. Mix up the kinds of dates you have. Go for cocktails one night, then do something cultural like visiting a gallery on the next date. Or have a day just chilling and doing some work together, then go and do something active next time. The more you vary it up, the more a man sees that you’re a woman who he can do lots of different things with.
When men think about what they want in a girlfriend, they picture a woman who can fit into many situations: she can be fun and energetic, but also chilled and relaxed; glamorous and sexy, but also casual; intelligent and thoughtful, but sometimes goofy and playful. Keep him guessing, and you’ll be the woman who stands out, because he won’t be able to place you in a box. * * * So there you have it: the first steps to keep him interested straight after the first date. Use these tools to get yourself in the right mindset for being the most confident, exciting, fun version of you and you’ll be in the best position to make a guy want you for much more than just one night!
In this newsletter Matthew will show you: • Where to find your ideal guy and the types of men YOU want • How to tell if a guy actually likes you • Ways to attract guys without risking rejection • The little known rule that gets a guy to notice you instantly • 3 Surefire Ways To Get Him To Commit • ...And much more, simple easy to follow advice that works! Important Note: While I do believe – and have seen proof – that the advice and programs I provide can help you improve your love life , please understand that not everyone will experience the exact same results.
To get the best results, you must use the advice I give you. Every person is an individual and every situation is unique so no single piece of advice will work for everyone at every time. But I can tell you that if you read the advice and continually apply it in your life, your chances of success increase dramatically. And I’m here to help you every step of the way. Let’s get started!
5 First Date Tips That Make Him Want You More (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)