Best dating in 40s advice 40

best dating in 40s advice 40

Get the best dating advice for women over 40 As a woman over 40, your main focus is not necessarily getting married and having babies. You may have already been married, you may already have babies, or perhaps neither is true; but either one could be a non-issue. The dating game has changed significantly since you dated in your twenties. Sexting. Texting.

best dating in 40s advice 40

SHARE It’s safe to say that when you’re over 40, the dating game changes significantly. You aren’t imagining it. In fact, the challenges of dating for women over 40 are so specific that getting good advice is critical to finding love with less heartache, pain, and confusion.

(Fact: over one-third of Americans over 40 are single, and more than 25 million of them are women.) As a part of the over 40 category of Dignity Daters, the same dating advice that works for 20 somethings is not always the same advice that you’re seeking. Here’s why: • As a woman over 40, your main focus is not necessarily getting married and having babies. You may have already been married, you may already have babies, or perhaps neither is true; but either one could be a non-issue.

• The dating game has changed significantly since you dated in your twenties. Sexting. Texting. Internet dating. Speed dating. Even matchmaking. All are viable alternatives in the 21st century. If you don’t know how to use these tools or have a belief that only “losers” would use them, you may be sabotaging your success dramatically. • You aren’t sure who to date when you’re in your 40s. Is it appropriate to date men in their 30s?

What about feeling like you aren’t attracted to men in their sixties, the exact men who may be pursuing you the most online? Is it a must to find someone who’s your age exactly and can recite lines from Gilligan’s Island right alongside you? • What are your relationship goals? Are you looking to get married?

Do you want to have kids? Are you simply looking for a serious relationship with Mr. Boyfriend Material? Whatever your concerns, here are the keys to Dating with Dignity’s advice for women over 40 in three short but sweet tips! 1. Use your dating experience in an appropriate way. Whether you recently went through a messy divorce or have had several long-term relationships and are ready for a relationship, you probably have some (if not a great deal) of dating experience.

As a Dignity Dater who is over 40, you want to make sure you don’t “leak” any of this energy or knowledge, negative or otherwise, into new relationships you find yourself in. It’s fine to remember things you’ve learned in past relationships, but it might be a good idea to to ensure you’re taking the right stuff with you!

Avoiding making assumptions like “It happened before and therefore must happen again” can impact all your dating if you aren’t armed with a clean slate before you jump into the dating pool.

2. Get yourself out there. Have your friends been encouraging you to join that online dating site? Well, guess what? One out of every four people who are in a committed relationship or married met their significant others on an online dating site. Remember that there are tons of good relationship-ready men who’re going to be interested in you, but you need to meet them first! Joining a Meetup, starting a new fitness routine or creating an online dating site profile are really great ways to meet great men.

Hanging out at a bar every Saturday night? Not so good, so get active online and outside. 3. Be honest about what you’re looking for.

Hopefully you aren’t finding yourself saying things like “There are no good men out there.” But if you find yourself heading down that path, get yourself in the opposite direction immediately. There ARE so many great guys out there! Because of the multitude of amazing men just waiting to meet you, don’t find yourself compromising for someone you think is “almost good enough.” If someone isn’t meeting your needs and you have openly communicated about what those healthy needs are, move on.

On the other end of the spectrum, having a list of things you’re looking for in a man is great. But be sure you aren’t checking people off your potential list because they’re missing something like “dresses well all the time” or “cooks like a gourmet chef.” Ultimately, getting stuck in “lack” mentality will keep you feeling disempowered and stuck.

Remember, once you feel confident and know that you’re worthy of an amazing man, amazing men will become magnetized to you. Paradoxically, when you think you have to settle, you attract men who you feel are just “good enough.” Get out of this vicious cycle and dig deep to find your “inner awesome” so you can get exactly what you want out of love in your forties. The most important tip for women over 40 is this: remember to have fun.

You know what you want, you know yourself, and you know what you’re looking for in a partner. If you don’t and think you might need a little help with clearing that up, to make sure your midlife love story is epic.

I am having a hard time finding someone who wants me and my kiddo. I was a mom at 42, met his father online and he wants nothing to do with us. I like the convience of online dating, but no one seems to want to take a chance to get to know me/us they just read on. Is there any hope for me/us? Any suggestions?

Dear Marni, I’m 41 years old and I have been dating a man who is 9 years older than me for 1 year and 4 months. We really do not see each other often and at first I was totally fine with it cause I wanted to take things slow,but after some time we became sex buddies and once I realized that it was not for me I told him and he said that it was not the right time.

I had a talk with him once more and I told him that I loved him and that I wanted a relationship and I did not hear from him for one month. I do not know what to do! I do not want to let go cause we have chemistry Hi, I think this article is great.

I would like to share it on my blog site. I’m 49 and recently divorced, so this thing we call dating has been a mess for me. I refuse to deal with the lies, game playing and being misleading.

I guess this has been a reality check for me, never once did I think that I would be experiencing this type of nonsense while interacting with 40+ year old men. However, I do know that all men are not alike and their are a few good men out there.

I guess my question would be WHERE ARE THEY? Your girlfriend, Traci Michelle girlfriendssocialclub.com What do you do when you meet a guy…and you had sex with them to quickly in the beginning. And then the TEXTS (hardly ever phone calls in the beginning and now) stopped for almost a year. Now, he is texting again wants me to be his girl. But when I told him how I feel, I want dates, actually going out and doing things together…he jumps right back with what about me.

Well, I know what he wants. SEX. He has a daughter that I haven’t meet he wanted to take that part slow but all he talks about is sex. Everytime i tell this guy if you want me as your girl this is what I want…its pretty darn simple, dinner dates, movie dates, just doing stuff together. Then I get the WHAT ABOUT ME. Which translates meet me at a motel so he can get what he wants.

I’m tired of beating a dead horse. I get that men and women don’t want to introduce their child to a date right off the bat until you ge to know them. I have explain my feelings so much that I truly feel like I’m talking to a wall.

Becasue the conversation always ends with “what about me”. And I say when you can include me your life which includes dinner dates, etc., you take can your horn dog down the road.

AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE???? Perspective is everything. Is this the beginning or the end. If you see dating in your 40’s as a new adventure and it’s the beginnning of your journey, you’ll have a whole different experience than if you see it as the end. Life is an adventure (well thats my belief system) and the opportunity to connnect, to have fun, to play and to enjoy life is open to every single one of us every day.

The first day of the rest of your life literally starts right now. Source: Hi, Marni: This is a tough one: Me: 48 widowed (tragic passing of someone I was madly and apssioanltely in love with – my husband of 13 years overnight). A year and a half later friends and family convinced me to take to” online dating” Met a guy who seemed “too good to be true” and after 3 weeks of whirlwind romance” he is txtng once every few days. I do not want to sound desperate, besides to complicate issues I had to undergo surgery and had no choice but to tell him about it..in general terms.

Do I wait? Move on? Mind boggling. Thanks for reading and sifting through this, Kind regards, K Hi KC! Thanks so much for your question. I’d say in this situation, if your gut is telling you something is wrong, definitely listen to it. I always say when you meet someone online, you have to move it offline within the first couple of weeks. If he’s not willing, you have to ask yourself why, and you can’t feel obligated to stay in a situation where this guy doesn’t want to / can’t meet in person – even if it’s a geographic thing because he lives in another country.

The bottom line is you deserve a boyfriend you can HUG and kiss and who you know is real. BIG hugs and lots of luck, Marni Hi Tish and welcome to the Dating With Dignity community!! I know how difficult it is to date over 40 – believe me, I’ve been there. It really sounds like you’re aware, insightful and ready to find your guy. You will get there, just keep working on yourself, being open to all opportunities and believing that finding love over 40 IS possible – because it really, really is.

BIG hugs, Marni This post is wonderful. I’m 61. My kids are grown and suddenly I have all the time in the world to do what I want. That’s when I discovered the loneliness that I’d hidden under busyness and work and housework and cooking etc… It’s hard to find good advice for those of us over 40. The world of dating has changed so dramatically. I am determined, however to find a wonderful guy to share the rest of my life with… I thank the good Lord you are here… God bless!

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best dating in 40s advice 40

best dating in 40s advice 40 - Dating in Your 40s: Common Mistakes and General Advice


best dating in 40s advice 40

So, how’d ya get here? stockfour/Shutterstock By the time you reach your 40s, there are many possible paths your life may have taken to get you to where you are.

As Brian Bishop*, a recently divorced 40-something Connecticut man told us, “You can’t date in your 40s without considering how you came to be dating in your 40s. Is it that you’ve never been married? Or is it that your marriage has come to an end? Whatever your answer, it affects your perspective.” For example, if you’ve never been married, but still hope to have children, you may approach dating with more of a sense of urgency than someone who has already done the whole family thing.

And someone who still has young children at home will invariably have to approach dating differently from an empty nester. “Like it or not, these are factors that will come into play in determining with whom you’re compatible,” Bishop says. Find out . *Some of the names of our singles have been changed for privacy purposes. There’s no better time than now to find true love Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock Maybe you’ve had your fair share of frustration, rejection, and heartache, but while you can’t erase your past, you can certainly learn from it.

In fact, “when you’re in our 40s, you can really make use of those life experiences,” notes , a licensed clinical psychologist in Colorado. It’s not just that you know yourself and what works and doesn’t work in relationships, it’s that by the time you reach your 40s, you’ve probably felt “the magic of love,” as Dr.

DeLuca puts it, and “if you’ve felt it before, you can and will feel it again. The emotional brain is seemingly void of chronological age or time.

We can and do fall in love at any age.” Start by owning where you’re at in your life Kinga/Shutterstock When you’re single in your 40s, some people react to you as if you’re violating some natural order. “People tend to look perplexed.

They want to know why,” says , a Canadian psychotherapist. “The reality is, however, that the timeline of finding love in our youth is an arbitrary and outdated prescription.

Own your singleness as a choice you’ve made, whatever your reasons are.” Here’s how to . Embrace being single Maria Sbytova/Shutterstock This is important not just as an internal attitude, but as a matter of how you project yourself, says , relationship expert and author. “Don’t express a hatred for being alone or single.

We need to be comfortable being alone and loving ourselves, and that positive energy will attract a partner who is right for you.” Recognize what you bring to the table Jack Frog/Shutterstock “Allow your wealth of life experiences to make you confident in going for what you want,” suggests , a Colorado-based mental health counselor. “You’ve lived a few decades, and you probably have a few battle scars.

You’ve got history and experience. You’ve learned lessons and you’ve got lots to share. You are ready for give and take and to create a lasting relationship with someone who shares your values and interests.” But, don’t drag the past into the present goodluz/Shutterstock It’s one thing to learn from your past on an intellectual level.

It’s another to stay mired in it emotionally, says online dating consultant, . “It’s essential to move past the past if you want to snatch up someone great,” she says, adding that it’s not just a matter of how you feel, but also a matter of how you project yourself in the early stages of dating. “Try not to talk too much about your past relationships in your first few dates,” Karyn advises. too: Experts agree they’re pretty much off-limits.

Treat everyone as an individual Olena Yakobchuk/Shutterstock One way to get “past the past” is to remind yourself that each new person you meet is exactly that: a new person. “Just because you’ve had some bad experiences, that doesn’t mean that everyone you meet will lead to that same bad experience,” says It’s not fair to anyone to project your past experiences onto them, and you’re far more likely to really get to know a person if you view them as an individual, rather than as some sort of reincarnation of a relationship past.

Don’t be a cynic Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock Owning your past, recognizing mistakes you’ve made, and even working through the pain of having been wronged is not the same as coming at dating with a negative attitude. “Don’t let your life experience turn you into a cynic,” suggests . “Instead, try to connect with the old energy and excitement you had before you had these experiences.” Connecting with those positive feelings doesn’t mean forgetting the lessons you’ve learned, he points out.

It just means allowing yourself to enjoy the moment with some of your youthful exuberance. Treat each first date as a clean slate Pressmaster/Shutterstock When you have a bad date, says Hershenson, it’s easy to fall into negative thought patterns, especially if you’re a veteran of dating and relationships.

But don’t. Come to each date with an open mind, Hershenson suggests. Here are to get a conversation started. Control your expectations Andrii Zastrozhnov/Shutterstock It’s one thing to hope you find what you’re looking for, but don’t expect anything, says , a licensed professional counselor in Georgia.

“Expectations lead to disappointments,” she says. Instead, Anderson suggests keeping your hopes high and your expectations low. This will help take the pressure off both you and your date. And be sure to always . Date outside your type Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock This is especially true if you tend to focus on appearances. “Don’t be so focused on looks,” points out relationship expert and author . By the time you’re in your 40s, you should know better!

Plus, there’s a chance you’ll find yourself pleasantly surprised. Think Charlotte and Harry from Sex and the City—both went against type, and that’s exactly how they found true love. Date outside your age group Jack Frog/Shutterstock Be open to dating against your notion of what is “age-appropriate.” Try dating people who are younger or older than your knee-jerk reaction tells you, Bennett suggests.

Yes, their lives may be in a different place from yours, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be compatible. Whether you are or not requires getting to know one another, which is what dating is about. Date outside your city limits Olena Yakobchuk/Shutterstock In your 20s, it seems like single people are everywhere, so it makes sense to consider proximity as a factor in choosing whom to date. But by the time you reach your 40s, the number of single people has dwindled.

That doesn’t mean that the right person isn’t out there. Rather, it means that the right person might be someone who lives 25 miles away—or even 50. The bottom line is, don’t rule someone out just because you have to drive an hour to see them. There is even scientific evidence to suggest that not only do work, but they’re also downright healthy. Stop playing games Olena Yakobchuk/Shutterstock “Playing games is a terrible strategy,” says Gosse.

“Particularly the game of hard to get, because so many men are shy, and you’ll never meet them unless you make the move.” This may be particularly true of men who have been out of the dating scene for a lengthy period of time (because they were married or in a long-term relationship). Let go of the notion that you can get everything you need from any one person Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock So, the guy you’re dating is “perfect” except he can’t get into chick flicks the way you can?

Make a date to go to the movies with a friend. The guy you’re dating doesn’t have an ear for jazz? Cultivate friends who appreciate your kind of music.

In addition, having good friends is healthy. To avoid falling into the trap of either expecting that any one person can meet all your needs or rejecting potential partners because they don’t have “everything” on your list, make sure your social life is on point, suggests Karyn.

In other words, maintain your friendships with both men and with women. Embrace technology that may be new to you tongcom photographer/Shutterstock It’s entirely acceptable to make plans via text message these days, so if you insist on a phone call, you’re limiting your options. And social media is a perfectly fine way to meet people. In fact, some of the dating apps won’t allow you to join unless you have a Facebook account, and some make it a practice to show your potential matches a list of those people whom you both “know” in common (or more specifically, people to whom you are both connected via social media).

“If you don’t make at least some attempt to use current technology, you’ll miss out on many quality people,” Bennett advises. Find out the . Google with caution Nuttapol Sn/Shutterstock “Let’s face it, we know we’re going to Google one another,” Sonier says.

And not everything you find on your potential date will be flattering. When this happens, you may want to consider not delving too deeply into the details, at least initially.

That said, it could be something to discuss at some point. But you certainly don’t need to go on your first date armed with every piece of information.

Sonier’s suggestion is to maintain a cautious but curious mind. Go ahead, try online dating Mr.Whiskey/Shutterstock “Your 40s are a time for juggling: jobs, kids, older parents, and you don’t end up with a lot of time for dating. Plus a lot of your friends are busy with their own lives and aren’t thinking about who they can set you up with,” says , relationship expert and author. “If you get online, you can search for your mate from home when you have some downtime.” The key is not to get discouraged too quickly, says psychotherapist and relationship coach, .

“If it’s not working at first, make a change. This could be in how you write about yourself on your profile, who you reach out to or respond to, or what you do to move an online connection to that first meeting.” But don’t only date online LightField Studios/Shutterstock “Sure, online dating is a great way to expand your reach, but being out and about in your own neighborhood can also broaden your opportunity for meeting great, dateable people,” Anderson says.

Dating in your 40s is about creating the opportunity to meet new and interesting people. Expand your social circles Darren Baker/Shutterstock You should be as proactive about making new friends as you are about meeting potential mates. “As we get older, our social circles have a tendency to shrink,” points out Shannon, the proprietor of , a matchmaking service based in the San Francisco Bay Area. “We get busy, established in our careers, in our communities, and our old friends tend to be married.

The reality is we meet fewer single people as we get older, so it becomes important to expand one’s social circle proactively.” You never know where it might lead. These can be useful personally as well as professionally. Explore a passion ESB Professional/Shutterstock Most of our experts agree that as a way of meeting new people, you can’t go wrong by exploring a passion, whether new or old.

A few suggestions from Shannon: Volunteer regularly with a local charity, get involved in your alumni club, or go to educational events that attract interesting people.

Or… you can try to pick a new hobby strategically Jacob Lund/Shutterstock On the other hand, all other things being equal, you might want to try an activity that puts you in a favorable man:woman ratio. “There are a lot of men on the golf course,” points out Oliver. “Or try joining a running club.

I once trained for a marathon and met a lot of interesting men. If running is too hard on your knees, then try cycling.” Not sure where to start? Here are . Treat looking for love like you’re looking for a job Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock Just as you’d get the word out that you’re looking for a job, you should get the word out that you’re looking to date. And just as you’d go on short, informational interviews, you should say yes to blind dates, keeping them to a short window (for example, a cup of coffee or a cocktail), says , psychotherapist and relationship expert.

“If you get tired or feel defeated, take a short break, but then get back to trying to find a good companion for yourself,” Kaiser says. “Don’t settle. Keep looking until you find someone that is right for you.” Find out the . Or consider “hiring” your partner like a boss shurkin_son/Shutterstock Another way of looking at the dating process after 40 is as an “executive search,” suggests relationship expert and author .

“Finding love should involve the same sort of due diligence you’d conduct if you were hiring a CEO for your $100 million dollar company,” he explains. That means asking probing questions and knowing how to decipher the answers. For example, Deutsch suggests asking potential mates about their relationships with their exes, their children, and their own parents. “It’s understandable to be afraid to ask these questions for fear it’s going to chase away a potential partner, but if these questions chase someone away, then that person is probably not a good potential partner,” Deutsch says.

Speaking of questions to ask, here are . Don’t badmouth your ex, and don’t date someone who would Africa Studio/Shutterstock Badmouthing your ex is not only bad form, it can also reveal any or all of the following: You have terrible taste when it comes to picking a mate; you’re bitter; you’re disloyal, you don’t accept your portion of the blame for a failed relationship.

Besides, . Don’t bring your kids into it until you’re sure (very, very sure) Martin Novak/Shutterstock Dating in your 40s often comes with kids, but “your kids don’t need to meet someone who is ultimately not going to remain in your life,” says , a 40-something divorced mom of six kids and 2012’s Mrs.

Alabama America. From her own experience, she suggests waiting six months before introducing anyone to your children. It may seem like a long time, but it’s really just a drop in the bucket when you’re thinking long-term, she points out. But do make the effort to learn about your date’s children Alena Ozerova/Shutterstock If you’re dating someone with children, you’re safe in assuming that the children are their number one priority and the most important thing in their life.

“I expect that any woman I go out with will ask me about my children,” says Albanese. “If I go out with a woman who shows no interest in learning about my kids, then it’s a really strong sign that she and I are not on the same page.” On the other hand, here are the .

Listen closely. Talk half as much. Rido/Shutterstock This advice is true no matter how old you are when you’re looking for love, but it’s particularly true for people who are dating in their 40s and beyond.

“If you listen carefully, you’ll find that people will tell you exactly who they are, especially when they start talking about their past relationships,” advises relationship coach, .

Often on dates, while the other person is talking, we’re thinking about how to respond. But it’s a much better idea to not worry so much about what you’re going to say and to listen to what your date is actually revealing about himself or herself. Is listening a challenge for you? Try these tips to . Don’t rush into anything Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock Even if you think you’re in a rush, don’t rush.

“As we grow older, we may feel a sense of urgency about settling into a relationship,” points out Dr. DeLuca. But it takes time to get to know another person, however, so that sense of urgency is not doing you any favors.”Would you make the decision to invest in a home, business, car, or expensive piece of jewelry without researching carefully?” she asks rhetorically.

“So why do anything different when you’re looking for a lifetime companion?” How long is long enough to know someone is right for you? That’s going to depend on many factors, including how much time you spend together and how comfortable you are in confiding in one another. But here’s Lauren Cahn is a New York-based writer whose work has appeared regularly in The Huffington Post as well as a variety of other publications since 2008 on such topics as life and style, popular culture, law, religion, health, fitness, yoga, entertaining and entertainment.

She is also a writer of crime fiction; her first full-length manuscript, The Trust Game, was short-listed for the 2017 CLUE Award for emerging talent in the genre of suspense fiction.


best dating in 40s advice 40

1/4 If you’ve been out of the dating scene since Titanic was king of the world, er, box office, you might be at a bit of a loss when it comes to coupling up in 2018.

And you’re not alone. While researching their mid-life guide , authors Amy Nobile and Trisha Ashworth spoke to dozens of women apprehensive about dating in their 40s. “A lot of these women literally were like, ‘I need a tutorial. I need a class,’” Nobile recalls, referring to the new apps and changing expectations about sex and relationships that need navigating.

“We talked to one mom who said, ‘We had a book club and we tossed the books out and talked about how the heck we’re supposed to get back into dating now and how to support each other.’” There’s no one-size-fits-all advice when it comes to mid-life dating, but Nobile and Ashworth have dedicated a whole chapter of their book to the topic of relationships (“Is This Really the Only Husband I’m Ever Gonna Have?”) and have gleaned a ton of knowledge from experts and interview subjects alike.

Here, they dispense some of that knowledge about 40-year-old dating, whether you’ve always been single or “it’s complicated.” 2/4 Photo: Stocksy/Helen Rushbrook If you’re divorced… Before you even think about typing up a Tinder bio, Nobile recommends taking the time for some serious self-reflection, especially if you’re coming out of a marriage.

“Really ask yourself some tough questions about what worked for you in this marriage, what did you bring to the table that didn’t work, [and] what would you like to work on before you get into another relationship,” she says.

“Once you feel like you’re working on that—whether it’s through therapy or whether it’s talking through it with a friend or really just thinking about it—then move on to the next exercise of who it is you really want to go after.” And how do you figure that out, exactly?

In their book, Nobile and Ashworth walk readers through a little something called the “Marriage Map,” a simple exercise devised by Chicago-based matchmaker Bela Gandhi. Here’s how it works: On one piece of paper, write down the qualities you’re looking for in a potential partner: tall, funny, successful, what have you. On a second piece of paper, write down the qualities of someone (be it your best friend, your sibling, a co-worker—it doesn’t have to be a romantic partner) who brings you complete joy.

“Take that first piece of paper,” says Nobile, “and crumple it up and throw it in the trash. Because that [second] list is the list you go for.” 3/4 Photo: Stocksy/Jovo Jovanovic If you have kids… Only you know what’s best for your children, but Ashworth warns against falling into the pitfalls of guilt and avoidance when it comes to dating as a mom.

“Women feel like, ‘I want to put all my time into my kids,’ and they don’t give themselves permission to be happy and permission to be in a relationship—to the detriment of their children,” says Ashworth. “It’s sort of the reverse: You really want to show your kids that there is a balance in your life.

That’s part of our job as a parent—to be a role model.” “You really want to show your kids that there is a balance in your life. That’s part of our job as a parent—to be a role model.” And there are no hard and fast rules about when and how to tell your children you’ve started seeing someone.

One woman Nobile spoke to during her research said that she only introduces her kids to her new partner after six months of dating—but that might not feel right for you. “It’s different for everyone,” says Nobile. And that also goes for whether you have a discussion with your ex about dating. If you have an amicable relationship, Nobile and Ashworth recommend clueing him in so you both know who will be spending time with your children. 4/4 Photo: Stocksy/Jennifer Brister If you’ve always been a single lady… In Nobile and Ashworth’s research, they’ve identified a few reasons as to why some women haven’t found a fulfilling relationship by the time they reach their 40s.

“Sometimes it’s a career path that’s really taken over their lives in a way that has deceived them and they think they’re fulfilled and happy and they don’t really need anybody, but it’s just masking a fear of intimacy and getting close,” says Nobile.

“And the other scenario we see a lot is women who haven’t done the work themselves—they haven’t sat themselves down and allowed themselves to really figure out [why they haven’t found a partner]. Is it various fears that they have? Were they really hurt in a relationship early on and they just can’t get past it?

We cannot stress it enough: Self-care is critical here to move forward and find what we need to truly be happy and fulfilled.” “Self-care is critical here to move forward and find what we need to truly be happy and fulfilled.” Of course, there are also women out there dating in their 40s who aren’t looking for the white picket fence and 2.5 kids—and that’s okay too.

“One of the things Trish and I talk about a lot with each other [is] the goal to connect with others without expectations,” says Nobile.

“There are so many scenarios in life where you’re trying to get something or the other person is trying to get something from you. But when you really look through life with that lense everything shifts a little bit” When you stop expecting to find a white knight and instead hope for a night of good conversation and the chance to be yourself, Nobile says, “That’s when the magic happens.

That’s when we all make connections that lead to amazing things.” If you’re just digging in to online dating, make sure and follow these tips for . And PSA, a new survey found that


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