if their mental disability impairs their driving, like the man in your example, then they shouldn't be allowed to drive at all. but i also believe in equal opportunity, for as long as they pass all the tests and prove that they can drive safely and responsibly, then they can be allowed. 1 person likes this. mental disability. sonia23. @sonia23 (323) Although because of that person killing a couple children, my first thought would be that a mentally disabled person should not be allowed to drive. But we also have to remember that there are different levels of metal disability. So, I would think that the individual person should be evaluated to see if that person should be driving. Dinner. @Dinner (153).
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> > AUTHOR Posted: 5/7/2009 1:18:58 PM My children each was born with a birth defect. They're more than 10 years apart in age, and have different fathers. The youngest one was born with twisted feet, that have been operated on 4 times, so he could walk.
Now no one right off the bat notices he's "different". I NEVER tell him he's handicapped. I tell him he might have to work harder, or do it differently. While he was in treatment, strangers saw the 2 full leg casts, and MANY were rude to me. I was asked what I did to him. His disability is physical, he's sweet tempered, and smart. My older son has a rare brain defect that usually also causes severe mental retardation. He started having seizures at 16, which was the first clue of his condition.He has had seizures in public places, where strangers stare, and tell me to move him "out of the way".
This son has a heart of gold, and is also very smart. With his diagnose of epilepsy,he now has to take medication every day. He also lost his career dream of joining the military. Never have I valued my sons a less than a "normal" person. My children are worth every penny spent on their "disability".
The day my little boy walked by himself, still is one of the proudest moments ever for me. Posted: 5/7/2009 3:39:21 PM That is for sure TXWheels. If a person has a disability, it isn't necessarily like 'taking advantage of them' to be involved with them. A person with a disability, even if they are quite handicapped intellectually, once they are of legal age, they have the same right as anyone else to have sex and relationships.
It would just be hoped that anyone who got involved with a person who had diminished capacity, that they didn't take advantage of them, lie to them, be unconcerned about them getting a sexually transmitted disease or hurting their feelings. Messing with someone's underage child - well - generally, parents of young people with disabilities tend to be fairly...no...extremely...serious about looking out for them, and getting involved with an underage disabled person is a good way to get in a whole world of hurt.
As far as would I date a person with an intellectual limitation, of course I would. Sure a lot better than dating someone who calls people names like 'retard'. A man I know actually tried, at least, to date a woman who was more than moderately retarded. She had her own apartment, had a job, was active in her church, and had a very rich, full and very adult life.
She kept in touch with relatives and had a good many friends in the world. I got to meet this lady a half dozen times and she was wonderful to talk to. She always seemed to remember how people felt. My old cat had just died the first day I met her, and the next time I saw her, she looked at me for a little while, thought hard, and said, 'You're the lady who loves animals'.
She actually was wonderful to talk to. She had a great memory for things that had happened in her family and was actually rather sought after for parties and get-togethers. She rarely spent an evening at home. Her family had discussed relationships with her well before she reached her 18th birthday, and she told my friend very plainly and clearly that she was not at all interested in having intimacy with a guy who 'doesn't care about me'.
She also proceeded to tell him how she KNEW he didn't really care about her. 'When I talk your face looks like you don't like how I talk'. She told him, 'I want a guy who loves ME for ME'. And that was the last time he saw her. I had a friend who was actually quite disabled mentally. In fact, he was profoundly retarded, and autistic. He could not write more than his name, and he could barely read a few words.
Yet he was one of the most loved people I have ever known. Two thousand people came to his funeral, and people stood there and sobbed their eyes out - men, women, kids, everyone loved Jon. He was one of most incredible people I ever met in my entire life. He inspired love in others and inspired people to be their best. The time I spent with him was some of the best time in my entire life. People are kidding themselves if they think every single mentally disabled person is 'childlike' and 'naive' and 'stupid'.
Many of them have been very carefully educated by their parents, teachers and those who love them, and many of them have a pretty damn sharp understanding of the world and the people in it. I'm sure the people calling people 'retards' realize full well how rude that is, and how nasty it is to call people names. They just like to think they are better than everyone else. There are all sorts of disabilites that can affect the brain.
One disability that is really sad, is the inability to have respect for others, or to have a feeling of understanding for those who are different. People who suffer from this sort of sad and very limiting disability miss out a lot in life, and the sad truth is that their brain never finished maturing into the adult form of brain, and that's why they talk like that.
In most cases, people who are 'mentally retarded' or 'developmentally disabled' are just not as quick at learning things as average. It might take them more time to do something or to learn a new skill. There isn't any 'typical type of person' and there is no 'typical type of problem' such people have.
Everyone is different and an individual. Some people have problems doing one thing, other people have problems doing other things. Disabilities can just be how the person is born, or can be acquired.
Friend of mine was in a car accident and got a Traumatic Brain Injury, now has difficulty remembering, planning and evaluating information he gets, but on the other hand, he still can recall phone numbers, addresses, and historical facts, and everything that happened with all his family members and friends over the years. Relationships and loving people is not always about someone who is 'perfect', or looks like a model, or would make your girlfriends go 'ooh!' Sometimes people's feelings are based on very, very superficial traits or attributes of a person.
Sometimes there is a lot more to a person than those things. Posted: 5/7/2009 4:45:19 PM i have dated 2 girls that were born with fetal alchohol syndrome. and have had some friends who had mental conditions as well i wouldn't bring it up you wouldn't feel too happy if somone you were interested in came out and asked you if you were mentally dissabled. if they are at the point where they feel comfortable sharing personal things with you they will.
and about taking advantage of them i don't think it would be if they weren't comfortable doing it they would probably let you know it's not like they are different than normal people they just can take a bit longer to learn things or have certain limits.
if you are comfortable with them and enjoy being with them then go for it. just see them as who they are and not label them with thier dissability to consider dating someone "slightly" or otherwise mentally retarded is something I'd call an act of desperation.
There are degrees of intellectual disabilty...there are clinical terms used to describe the categories, and not one of them is "slightly retarded". A person who has an IQ between 70 and 80 is said to have a "Borderline Cognitive Disablity" whereas a person whose IQ is below 70 can have a "Mild Intellectual Disability". These people are capable of holding jobs and having relationships. An IQ of less than 55 is Developmentally Disabled, and of course the categories go down from there.
Just because it was acceptable to call a person retarded in 1914 doesn't make it acceptable now. They might not be as smart as you, but they are smart enough to know that "retarded" is a derogatory term. My son has a developmental issue & always will have...theres absolutely nothing "retarded" about him.
He excels in everything except reading and writing and that will never change. Kyn, with all due respect I think it is unlikely that your child has a "developmental" issue. The term 'developmental" pertains to IQ. Deficiency in IQ usually means the person will have difficulties that are more global in nature. If your son is very successful in some areas and having great difficulty in others, this indicates something more along the lines of a learning disability, or a communication disorder.
Short term memory problems are typical of a learning disability. People with LD can have average IQ, low IQ, or even high IQ. I was the defacto and nearly married an exceptionally wealthy, intelligent & famous man who suffered from dyslexia and was incredibly embarassed about it for no reason except dumbass comments like yours. Most people with dyslexia (witch has NOTHING to do with IQ) have gone through hell in their educational careers. It is a tough nut to crack because if the kid is in a special class everyone will know and some people will be insensitive about it.
Whereas, if the kid remains in regular ed, he may not get what he needs from the regular teachers, and the rest of the kids will very likely notice the problem anyway. Many people who suffer from dyslexia develop amazing memories, and adapt their behavior so as to figure out a great many things without actually reading, which of course shows that they are bloody smart.
Posted: 5/7/2009 6:15:55 PM "If your son is very successful in some areas and having great difficulty in others, this indicates something more along the lines of a learning disability, or a communication disorder." Not really. That's pretty typical of most people with mental retardation (developmental disability, a newer term, is meant to indicate that the cause is likely in how the brain developed, 'mental retardation' just reflected how a person did on an IQ or similar test, but that's all 'developmental disability' really means too).
Most people with 'mental retardation' or whatever one wants to call it, have things they can do easily and things that are hard for them to do. 'Mental retardation' refers only to how someone scores on a single test or a set of similar tests, not to what cognitive, etc disorders they have, which are tested and diagnosed separately. Most people's abilities, in fact, are quite uneven - even normal people.
'Mental retardation' goes on one 'axis' of diagnosis...other issues go on other 'axes' of the diagnosis, there's a total of 4 axes. Degree of mental retardation is given categories that have varied over time, but the ranges given to each category haven't changed very much over time, despite lots of fussing over nomenclature. As one of my 'mentally retarded' friends said, 'I'm slow, not stupid, ya know'. There is a difference. How a person scores on a test and what 'category' their score falls under isn't the entire measure of a person.
Posted: 5/10/2009 4:51:43 AM "Unless they tell you, how do you know?" I think most people can tell if someone has an intellectual disability, and needs more time to work things out or understand what's happening.
One might not know the exact name of the disability or exactly how it affects the person in detail, but one can usually tell. Keeping in mind that the vast majority of people who have 'disabilities' function in a very normal range and do normal things, with very few limitations, make their own decisions, live as full adults. I think it's best to let the person tell you when they feel is the right time, and in the way they want to.
There is no reason to tell you a lot of detail unless they feel the relationship might become more involved. 'Developmental disability' is basically a medical condition. If I'm just going out for a sandwhich with someone I don't give them my medical history. I'd also like to mention that while most people have mild disabilities only and make their own decisions about friends and relationships, if the person is so severely disabled intellectually that they can't evaluate whether a person intends to harm or hurt them, and are just friendly to anyone without fully understanding the difficulties of that, there is very often going to be a guardian or guardian-like person in their life who is going to try to look out for their best interests.
If that is the case, anyone really owes it to the guardian to respect the care and caution the guardian has for looking out for the person. Posted: 10/14/2016 8:19:32 PM Not everything is what it seems. I dated a man for a couple of years and thought things seemed off...but like you said full time job, functioned well.
Only to realize there was personality disorders. I have a son born at 1lb. 11oz and is slow (IQ 59) yet functions very well. If you can see past these flaws (Or what ever one would call them) and can find the love you want then who cares....no one is perfect. Posted: 11/28/2016 5:21:42 AM I have a high functioning version of Autism Spectrum Disorder.
I do very well for myself. I have a series of jobs, I'm going to school for an IT related field, I have a car and I'm well loved in my community. However, living a life where I was constantly abused, taken advantage of and manipulated gave me lots of baggage that I had to overcome. My advice would be this: If the disability doesn't affect their job performance or their ability to fend and provide for themselves, jump at it. You will learn a lot from dating them if they learned to overcome their disability.
You'll probably have a partner who has lots of courage, strength, substance and empathy. But be warned, you will have a lot of ignorant people who will mock your partner's abilities or treat your partner like a child. Don't try to go out of your way to disprove them, let your partner's actions speak for themselves. Posted: 2/16/2017 5:00:40 AM I HAVE SLIGHT ISSUES MYSELF, MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY, BUT HOW DO i SEARCH FOR THOSE CHARACTERISTICS IN A WOMAN ON POF... AND THEN THERE IS THE DISTANCE FACTOR.
POF COSTANTLT AND WITHOUT A REASON SAYS " THIS MEMBER DOES NOT ACCEPT MESSGES FROM CERTAIN USERS" THT LEAVES ME CLUELESS AS TO WHAT .' Posted: 2/16/2017 10:08:59 AM There's a site called "nolongerlonely.com " specifically for people with mental health issues. Soo many dating sites.
I think I might check out "tallfreinds.com" Here. I think the only way to find someone with the same kinda issues is to add whatever it is to your interests...then click on it...it will bring up a list of folks with the "same interest" as you. Posted: 2/16/2017 6:53:08 PM tiggertoes- You have given SOME information,but you don't say WHAT is going on.
What are we talking here? You already said he has a job and is a parent, so I'm thinking he might have Asperger's? Asperger's is largely misunderstood, it falls under the spectrum of Autism, but it isn't the same thing.
People with Asperger's can, and do, hold jobs and have relationships. There is a wealth of information concerning Asperger's online.
IF this is what he has, you need to just go ahead and find out. There IS a way to bring it up kindly, maybe mention that you have a "friend" that has Asperger's and talk about it a little, see if he opens up and confirms that is what he has?
However, I'm not a fan of the passive/aggressive route. I would just ask him. If he has it, he has dealt with this all his life. It's all about HOW you ask. Maybe something along the lines of "I am having a GREAT time with you, I enjoy your company, but there are some things I am wondering about" Then say one or two things you have noticed that is causing you to wonder. I can't know his reaction, for sure, but he will probably be releaved to know that you are enjoying his company, but just want to know and then he can tell you.
Compassion and understanding go a long way, so does honesty. Talk with him and let us know how it turns out, I hope this works out, for BOTH of you. :) Posted: 2/23/2017 10:34:53 PM I did date someone who was like this. I really didn't recognize it at first. Then I thought he was just a little slow. Eventually, I realized he couldn't read and that he had ADHD, and other problems.
I found people to help him with some of the problems, but...well... I'm not sure if it was our personalities, his problems or our problems or what.....but....let's just say I refer to it as the relationship from hell and leave it at that.
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Dating for mentally disabled people can become real It is easy for normal people to find someone to date with, but what about someone who is mentally disabled?
Even for these persons there is a chance to find someone to date with. Mentally disabled dating is the place where they are gathering together in order to find someone similar to them. For those who are mentally disabled, online dating can offer many things and give them opportunity to meet people much easier than in the past. Actually, for some of them this can be the only way to find someone who can understand them and accept problems they are dealing with every day.
At Mentally meeting new people is much easier to connect with others, since it gives them opportunity to search for new people at the place where all others are the same like them.
Even if mentally disabled persons are not so sure that online dating can help them to find what they are looking for, the only chance for them to be sure what this way can do is to join and try. For mentally disabled people this can be a great way to find someone for dating. It is not easy, but it is not impossible. With the help of Mentally disabled dating and people they can meet there, dating is something that can become real. If you are one of them be aware that you have to believe that this can work.
First thing you should do is to enter into this with positive attitude. Second-be yourself, tell the person you like what you want and who you are. There is no point if you hide that you are disabled. That means that you are ashamed of that. You have to accept who you are and other people will respect you much more. After all, if you expect from someone to be honest with you, so you have to do the same.
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