Best dating someone who is hiv positive undetectable mean

best dating someone who is hiv positive undetectable mean

What does it mean when your HIV status is considered undetectable You might have noticed that ‘undetectable’ has become quite a popular world and there’s an important reason why it’s becoming a popular term among people living with HIV. As the name suggests, an undetectable viral load occurs in people living with HIV when the virus exists in such small quantities that it can’t be detected by standard blood tests. Lots of people living with HIV can achieve an undetectable viral load by being consistent with their antiretroviral treatment over a period of at least six months.

best dating someone who is hiv positive undetectable mean

First of all, I want to recognize that that’s an intense situation to be confronted with. We all should go in for , and it can be nerve-wracking for many of us, but most people going in for a routine test don’t think they’re going to come away with a positive test result.

And then, getting a different result than your partner can be even harder if it brings issues of jealousy into the mix. While both your situations may seem dire, the good news is that that’s not actually the case. There are a lot of ways to protect yourself against becoming infected with HIV, and your partner has many treatment options that can help him contend with his new chronic condition — and protect you in the process. 1. What Is HIV?

First of all, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page about HIV. HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. That’s because this virus interferes with your immune system, weakening it so that it can’t fight diseases that enter your body and try to take hold and make you sick. HIV is related to but distinct from Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome, or AIDS. AIDS is what we call the condition created by HIV.

If you are diagnosed with AIDS, that means that HIV has damaged your immune system and as a result, you are getting sick because your body can’t fight back against other infections. 2. How Can I Get It? HIV lives in only certain human bodily fluids, and is transmitted into your bloodstream through only certain parts of your body. So to know if you’ve been exposed, you need to answer two questions: first, is there HIV present?

and second, did it get into my blood? This may seem obvious, but it’s really important to remember — you can’t get HIV from someone who doesn’t have it in their system.

What this really means is that in order for you to be exposed to HIV, the other person who could be exposing you to it needs to have it. The fluids through which HIV can be transmitted are blood, semen, precum (also called pre-seminal fluid), vaginal fluid, breast milk (only for mother-to-child transmission), and rectal fluids, also called anal mucous. Notice fluids not on this list, including spit, sweat, and tears. Let’s say you know that the other person in question has HIV in their system.

Just because they have it doesn’t mean you will get it. In order to potentially get their HIV into your system, you need to get it into your body through either a mucous membrane (which can be the lining of your vagina or anus, the tip of your penis, or the inside of your mouth depending on what parts you’ve got), a cut on your skin (it has to be pretty big and actively bleeding — a papercut or old cut that’s healed aren’t risks), or straight into your bloodstream through sharing needles.

There are some main acts that can result in fluid and site coming together, resulting in a potential infection. The main ones are having unprotected sex (we’ll get to protection tools later) with someone who has HIV and sharing needles with someone living with HIV when you inject drugs. HIV positive mothers can also transmit to their babies through blood during pregnancy and when they give birth, or during breastfeeding through breastmilk. Knowing how this virus is transmitted is what you need to protect yourself against it (if you’re HIV negative) or protect others from becoming infected (if you’re HIV positive).

3. How Do I Know If I Have It? You can’t tell if someone has HIV just by looking at them. In fact, some people don’t know they are infected with the virus for years, because they haven’t noticed any symptoms. To know your status, you have to get tested. However, some people experience symptoms in the first two to four weeks after they’ve been infected. These are usually described as an extremely bad flu — fever, a sore throat, headache, achy muscles and joints, and rash.

This is called primary HIV infection, and what’s happening here is that your body is trying to fight off the HIV infecting it. 4. How Easy Is It To Get? It’s extremely difficult to give an exact risk of getting HIV. That’s because it depends on a number of factors, including how much of the virus is in the other person’s fluids and how it’s getting into your body (through what site).

The important thing to know is that while each time you have unprotected sex with someone who is HIV positive the likelihood you’ll become infected is pretty low (an estimated 0.08 percent if an infected penis goes into your vagina, an estimated 0.04 percent if your penis goes into an infected vagina, and an estimated 1.4 percent if an infected penis goes into your butt), those numbers are true every time you do that act.

So the risk can pile up if you’re having sex with an HIV positive person multiple times. It’s also important to remember that you can get infected the first time you have sex with someone. It’s also important to take into account the amount of virus in the other person’s blood. When someone first gets infected, the virus goes all spring break on your body while your immune system scrambles to retaliate. During this time of primary HIV infection, you have a lot of copies of the virus in your system, which means you are very infectious to other people.

With proper medication and care, you can get the number of these copies very low, reducing the likelihood of transmission significantly. 5. How Can I Protect Myself? The only foolproof way of not getting an STD is not having sex in the first place. Since that’s not how most adults operate, the good news is that there are an increasing number of ways you can protect yourself against becoming infected with HIV, while still being able to connect sexually with your HIV positive partner.

Condoms Latex and polyurethane condoms (both male/external and female/internal types) are a literal physical barrier against HIV — the holes in those materials are too small for the virus to get through. However, the same isn’t true for lambskin condoms, which are more porous and allow HIV to pass through.

Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis Possibly the most exciting and definitely the newest prevention tool available is Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, or PrEP. PrEP is kind of like the hormonal birth control pill but against HIV transmission, not pregnancy (so … sperm transmission?). PrEP is a pill you take every day, and if you do that you can be protected from HIV by up to 99 percent. Post-Exposure Prophylaxis If PrEP is like the birth control of HIV prevention, then Post-exposure Prophylaxis (PEP) is like Plan B, or the morning after pill.

You can start PEP within 72 hours of a potential exposure to HIV — such as a condom breaking, finding out your partner is HIV positive after you’ve slept with them, or experiencing sexual violence. PEP is a medication course of 28 days, and you need to complete all 28 days’ worth of pills. This solution isn’t 100 percent effective, but it does cut your risk for becoming infected significantly.

A Healthy Vagina It’s easier for HIV to be transmitted in certain situations, like if you already have another STD, or bacterial vaginosis. So if you have an STD already, get it treated (if it’s curable) or learn how to manage it (if it’s one of those pesky ones you have for life).

Clean Needles If your risk for getting HIV isn’t through sex but is because you use injectable drugs, protecting yourself is easy. Just don’t share your needles with anyone else, and don’t use a needle anyone else has used. HIV used to be way more commonly passed between people who use injectable drugs, but through needle exchange programs this has been significantly diminished.

6. How Can My HIV+ Partner Help? In addition to keeping themselves healthy, your HIV positive partner’s treatment plan can also help you stay HIV negative. This is called treatment as prevention, and it works because the less of the virus someone has in their system, the harder it is for them to transmit it to someone else. In fact, an extremely exciting recent study found no instances of transmission between partners when the HIV positive partner’s viral load count (the number of copies of virus in their blood) was less than 200 copies per ml of blood (called an “undetectable” amount).

So if your partner takes their medication and gets their viral load count down, they are also helping your health! Everybody wins. 7. How Can I Help My HIV+ Partner? There’s a ton of literature out there and many professionals that can speak to you at length about the ways to support someone who is dealing with being HIV positive.

I’m not going to go into all of them. Instead, I’ll just say that the number one way to help someone who has just found out they were diagnosed with HIV is to support them — however they want. Ask them. If they don’t know, give them the space to let them figure it out, just as you would any other challenge they go through. Something you can do more pragmatically is help them get into treatment (if they want your help).

Research has found that starting antiretroviral therapy (HIV medications) immediately after you’re diagnosed with HIV is extremely helpful for long-term health. You can also help them set up a reminder system so they remember to take their medication, because it’s important that they take their antiretrovirals as directed — otherwise their viral load count can rise, they can become resistant to the medications they’re on, and their health can decline.

The Bottom Line There’s no denying that HIV is not something you want. If you have it, you have to take medication every day (or sometimes more than once a day) and deal with having a chronic condition. But really, it’s not all that different from any other chronic disease, like cancer or diabetes — except for the immense stigma associated with it. The reality is, many people live with HIV for many many years, and many of those people are . These couples are called serodifferent or magnetic (because of their (+) and (-) statuses, which is pretty cute).

Pairing in this way has worked for many couples and it can work for you too! My first love was in the 80’s. 1985–1988. It was a time when you couldn't come out as easily as they do these days. We were so much alike, I loved him so very much. After a year, we talked and I knew he was gay. He was told by his father to “get it out of your system, I didn't have 5 daughter's”. Ignorant thing's like that. I turned into being his cover girlfriend.

I was ok with it. We loved each other. He eventually moved to Vancouver, where he was the stylist for MacGyver show. I had gotten engaged and it was 2 month's before the wedding. I got a phone call one day in March of 1992, it was my Dr. He requested I needed to make an appointment.

I did, my Paul was there too. It's when they told me that Paul had HIV and I needed to be tested. They were unsure about when he contracted it. The medical professionals were still learning about the disease at this point. Incubation period was known to be 10 year's. We were together in that time frame.

I was tested and I was negative. I had to be tested once a year, for 10 year's. Anyway, he got very sick, very quickly. Admitted to the hospital and they used to put them in palliative unit. Remember…it was the still such a controversial issue. He was full of lesions and was wrapped in gauze to protect from him getting sicker with an infection. Nurse's were very impersonal and sterile. When I got up to leave, I went to hug him and he backed up.

I said “bring it in here a hug me”. He did. He started crying. So I held him tightly. He said “I haven't had a hug from anyone in over 3 year's…thank you”.

The hug finally ended and he being the proverbial smartass said, “ok…lets stop before our mascara run's.. make an appointment so we can do something about those roots of yours”.

Winked at me. As I left, I knew this was going to be the last time I saw him. April 25, 1995 just 3 weeks later.. the phone rang at 7am. I picked it up and said, someone better be dead or their gonna be for calling this early.

Well….someone was. My answer to you is, dating a patient with HIV is fine. As long as you are careful. They really do need some love from people who are not scared. Only way to understand everything and the risks, is to educate yourself.

Good luck XO Since I am POZ, yes. I would date another POZ person. I've had 2 exes that were Neg. At least in the old days there was a burden of transmission when intimacy was involved. No matter how safe you were.

But nowadays in the post ART era, where Poz/undetectable is the norm, it doesn't exist. In the last 5 years I have dated POZ, POZ/ U, NEG and NEG on PrEP. There are still some who say “DDF” and “clean” and “UB2”.

Whose I ignore at all costs. They are most likely to be running around not knowing they have been infected. Because they list a date like 12/07/17 as their last test date.

They aren't tested often and are not on PrEP they are the MOST LIKELY to become infected. All it takes is 2 people who are clueless and not under management. As Australia's ACON says serosorting between 2 negative people, based on that assumption, is inherently dangerous.

Also considering the antiquated HIV laws where “reckless endangerment” is still a means to discriminate and jail Poz people……even without HIV transmission. These “clean” presumptive people would accuse anyone but themselves for their transmission.

And are not good dating prospects for me! I wouldn't actively seek out someone who is HIV positive, but if I developed feelings for someone who is, I wouldn't let that stop me.

Being HIV positive generally doesn't change who someone is. They're still going to be the wonderful person I developed feelings for.

Maybe we'll have to take more precautions when we're having sex, but if I'm in love with someone, that's not a huge inconvenience. We can choose lower-risk activities, use protection, and get tested regularly. Sounds perfectly doable to me. I'm not a fan of the stigma surrounding STI's such as HIV/AIDS.


best dating someone who is hiv positive undetectable mean

best dating someone who is hiv positive undetectable mean - What It Means to Be HIV “Undetectable” ¦ Everyday Health


best dating someone who is hiv positive undetectable mean

I’m currently in a serodiscordant couple – a relationship where one person is HIV-negative and the other is HIV-positive. We’re a completely ‘normal’ couple and you probably wouldn’t suspect either of us would be affected by HIV or even ‘ill’.

A situation that would have once been actively discouraged is now completely safe for the both of us where we have access to all the resources we could possibly need.

The story of how my partner became infected or how we found out is irrelevant – the most important part of this that I need everyone to know is the aftermath and how it has enabled us to be a regular, dull couple like everyone else.

Immediately after the diagnoses, my boyfriend was given pills for the HIV, as well as antibiotics to prop up his immune system that had inevitably been weakened by being untreated for so long. He takes his anti-retroviral medication (ARVs) every day at the same time and has done for a while now so his CD4 count is slowly rising.

The CD4 count of a person is how we can assess the strength of someone’s immune system. They are the white blood cells that fight infection and these are the cells that the HIV virus kills.

A ‘normal’ person can have anything between 500 and 1500. My boyfriend’s CD4 count was 204, anything below 200 is AIDS so you can understand how ill he was at one point. Thankfully, the medication can help slowly build your CD4 count back up to that of a ‘regular’ person over time. Taking his medication consistently over time means that his viral load is now undetectable. When copies of HIV cannot be detected by standard viral load, an HIV-positive person is said to have an ‘undetectable viral load’ (the person has below 50 copies of the virus per millimetre of blood).

Having an undetectable viral load means that he can’t pass on the virus and for us, we can have condom-less sex and I’ll be protected from getting the virus from him. Obviously I wouldn’t encourage ‘unprotected’ sex to others as it doesn’t protect from other STIs and unwanted pregnancies, but we’re in a long-term, monogamous relationship so we’ve both communicated that it’s what we’re comfortable with.

Whilst his viral load was detectable, we made sure to use condoms every time but we did have an incident where I had to go to the clinic to get treatment in the form of PEP, which is a month-long course of drugs to help prevent HIV infection that is taken 48-72 hours after a possible exposure to HIV.

Again, I wasn’t overly concerned because I had educated myself on my options and knew to immediately go to the clinic. England is also taking part in the PrEP Impact Trial, which offers PrEP free to those who were ‘high risk’.

PrEP stands for Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, and it’s the use of anti-HIV medications to keep HIV negative people from becoming infected so I knew I had that option, too. It’s a completely manageable illness and every day I think how lucky we are that he and I have easy access to free medication and information. We found out the news during a time of huge medical advancements in HIV treatment and I can honestly tell people “it’s not how it used to be” and I’ll be eternally grateful that I can say those words.

You might think it is strange for me to think "I’m so lucky my partner got HIV now" but I’m fully aware of people still here today that witnessed the horrors of all their friends dying and how awful it was. My partner and I are incredibly lucky. For him, he takes his pills, has the occasional check-up and has a flu jab once a year, but that’s it.

After the initial shock, we were left feeling a bit "what do we do now?". This life-changing thing had happened but we were fine and life just carried on.

Once we both understood that it was a manageable illness, our lives went back to normal and boring. I LOVE normal and boring! You expect it to be this big looming shadow over you for the rest of your lives, but the ordeal was a bit anti-climatic for us.

Nothing is really different to before. If you don’t know your status, make an appointment and go get tested – even if you’re in a long-term, monogamous relationship; even if you’re married. Just like how I remembered a school talk from an HIV-positive woman, I want people to remember reading this if they’re ever faced in a similar situation to us and know it’s going to be fine.

Those three letters can create a lot of shame and the stigma is probably the hardest part of it all, but the more we open up the conversation and educate everyone, we’ll hopefully break that barrier down.


best dating someone who is hiv positive undetectable mean

We at Bustle love giving you tips for how to and troubleshoot when things aren’t going your way in the bedroom. But what about finding solutions to those that inevitably crop up when you’re getting down? Emma Kaywin, a Brooklyn-based sexual health writer and activist, is here to calm your nerves and answer your questions.

No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous. This week’s topic: . Q: I’m freaking out. My partner of eight years and I just went to get tested together, and he and I came out negative.

I don’t even know how we could have different statuses because I’m on the pill and we haven’t been using condoms in almost a year, but I’m really relieved I don’t have it. I love him so much, I don’t even care right now that he cheated on me and got this lifelong disease. I don’t want to leave him, but I don’t know how to help him or protect myself. What can I do? ? A: First of all, I want to recognize that that’s an intense situation to be confronted with. We all should go in for , and it can be nerve-wracking for many of us, but most people going in for a routine test don’t think they’re going to come away with a positive test result.

And then, getting a different result than your partner can be even harder if it brings issues of jealousy into the mix. While both your situations may seem dire, the good news is that that’s not actually the case. There are a lot of ways to , and your partner has many treatment options that can help him contend with his new chronic condition — and protect you in the process. 1. What Is HIV? First of all, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page about HIV.

HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. That’s because this virus , weakening it so that it can’t fight diseases that enter your body and try to take hold and make you sick. HIV is related to but distinct from Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome, or AIDS. AIDS is what we call .

If you are diagnosed with AIDS, that means that HIV has damaged your immune system and as a result, you are getting sick because your body can’t fight back against other infections. 2. How Can I Get It? HIV lives in only certain human bodily fluids, and is transmitted into your bloodstream through only certain parts of your body. So to know if you’ve been exposed, you need to answer two questions: first, is there HIV present?

and second, did it get into my blood? This may seem obvious, but it’s really important to remember — you can’t get HIV from someone who doesn’t have it in their system.

What this really means is that in order for you to be exposed to HIV, the other person who could be exposing you to it needs to have it. The are blood, semen, precum (also called pre-seminal fluid), vaginal fluid, breast milk (only for mother-to-child transmission), and rectal fluids, also called anal mucous. Notice fluids not on this list, including spit, sweat, and tears. Let’s say you know that the other person in question has HIV in their system.

Just because they have it doesn’t mean you will get it. In order to potentially get their HIV into your system, you need to get it into your body through either a mucous membrane (which can be the lining of your vagina or anus, the tip of your penis, or the inside of your mouth depending on what parts you’ve got), a cut on your skin (it has to be pretty big and actively bleeding — a papercut or old cut that’s healed aren’t risks), or straight into your bloodstream through sharing needles.

There are some main acts that can result in fluid and site coming together, resulting in a potential infection. The main ones are having unprotected sex (we’ll get to protection tools later) with someone who has HIV and sharing needles with someone living with HIV when you inject drugs. HIV positive mothers can also transmit to their babies through blood during pregnancy and when they give birth, or during breastfeeding through breastmilk.

Knowing how this virus is transmitted is what you need to protect yourself against it (if you’re HIV negative) or protect others from becoming infected (if you’re HIV positive). 3. How Do I Know If I Have It?

You can’t tell if someone has HIV just by looking at them. In fact, some people don’t know they are infected with the virus for years, because they haven’t noticed any symptoms. To know your status, you have to get tested. However, some people experience symptoms in the first two to four weeks after they’ve been infected.

These are usually described as an extremely bad flu — fever, a sore throat, headache, achy muscles and joints, and rash. This is called , and what’s happening here is that your body is trying to fight off the HIV infecting it. 4. How Easy Is It To Get? . That’s because it depends on a number of factors, including how much of the virus is in the other person’s fluids and how it’s getting into your body (through what site).

The important thing to know is that while each time you have unprotected sex with someone who is HIV positive the likelihood you’ll become infected is pretty low (an estimated 0.08 percent if an infected penis goes into your vagina, an estimated 0.04 percent if your penis goes into an infected vagina, and an estimated 1.4 percent if an infected penis goes into your butt), those numbers are true every time you do that act.

So the risk can pile up if you’re having sex with an HIV positive person multiple times. It’s also important to remember that you can get infected the first time you have sex with someone.

It’s also important to take into account the amount of virus in the other person’s blood. When someone first gets infected, the virus goes all spring break on your body while your immune system scrambles to retaliate. During this time of primary HIV infection, you have a lot of copies of the virus in your system, which means you are . With proper medication and care, you can get the number of these copies very low, reducing the likelihood of transmission significantly.

5. How Can I Protect Myself? The only foolproof way of not getting an STD is not having sex in the first place. Since that’s not how most adults operate, the good news is that there are an increasing number of ways you can protect yourself against becoming infected with HIV, while still being able to connect sexually with your HIV positive partner.

Condoms Latex and polyurethane condoms (both male/external and female/internal types) are a — the holes in those materials are too small for the virus to get through. However, the same isn’t true for lambskin condoms, which are more porous and allow HIV to pass through.

Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis Possibly the most exciting and definitely the newest prevention tool available is , or PrEP. PrEP is kind of like the hormonal birth control pill but against HIV transmission, not pregnancy (so … sperm transmission?). PrEP is a pill you take every day, and if you do that you can be protected from HIV by .

Post-Exposure Prophylaxis If PrEP is like the birth control of HIV prevention, then (PEP) is like , or the morning after pill. You can start PEP within 72 hours of a potential exposure to HIV — such as a condom breaking, finding out your partner is HIV positive after you’ve slept with them, or experiencing sexual violence. PEP is a medication course of 28 days, and you need to complete all 28 days’ worth of pills.

This solution isn’t 100 percent effective, but it does . A Healthy Vagina It’s easier for HIV to be transmitted in certain situations, like if you already have another STD, or bacterial vaginosis. So if you have an STD already, get it treated (if it’s curable) or learn how to manage it (if it’s one of those pesky ones you have for life).

Clean Needles If your risk for getting HIV isn’t through sex but is because you use injectable drugs, protecting yourself is easy. Just don’t share your needles with anyone else, and don’t use a needle anyone else has used. HIV used to be way more commonly passed between people who use injectable drugs, but through this has been significantly diminished.

6. How Can My HIV+ Partner Help? In addition to keeping themselves healthy, your HIV positive partner’s treatment plan can also help you stay HIV negative. This is called , and it works because the less of the virus someone has in their system, the harder it is for them to transmit it to someone else.

In fact, an extremely exciting recent study found between partners when the HIV positive partner’s viral load count (the number of copies of virus in their blood) was less than 200 copies per ml of blood (called an “undetectable” amount). So if your partner takes their medication and gets their viral load count down, they are also helping your health! Everybody wins. 7. How Can I Help My HIV+ Partner?

There’s a out there and many professionals that can speak to you at length about the ways to support someone who is dealing with being HIV positive.

I’m not going to go into all of them. Instead, I’ll just say that the number one way to help someone who has just found out they were diagnosed with HIV is to support them — however they want.

Ask them. If they don’t know, give them the space to let them figure it out, just as you would any other challenge they go through. Something you can do more pragmatically is help them get into treatment (if they want your help).

Research has found that starting antiretroviral therapy (HIV medications) immediately after you’re diagnosed with HIV is . You can also help them set up a reminder system so they remember to take their medication, because it’s — otherwise their viral load count can rise, they can become resistant to the medications they’re on, and their health can decline.

The Bottom Line There’s no denying that HIV is not something you want. If you have it, you have to take medication every day (or sometimes more than once a day) and deal with having a chronic condition. But really, it’s not all that different from any other chronic disease, like cancer or diabetes — except for the immense stigma associated with it.

The reality is, many people live with HIV for many many years, and many of those people are . These couples are called (because of their (+) and (-) statuses, which is pretty cute). Pairing in this way has worked for many couples and it can work for you too! Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way , which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.


What Dating Is Like When You’re HIV-Positive
Best dating someone who is hiv positive undetectable mean Rating: 7,1/10 1243 reviews
Categories: best dating