Dating Expert Interviews. Dating Tips for Someone With a Disability. Dating Tips for Someone With a Disability. By Debbie Vasen. Your dating social skills with a disability are often frustrating and confusing Good at other kinds of machines, self-taught. Personal skills, flatulent skunk level. Now I don't think I'm unique. Disability is the Last Great Prejudice - people look at us spazzes the way KKK members look at colored people. You're EXPECTED to be thick/unable to do anything. Problem is, I'm not The dating pool for individuals living with one or more disabilities is smaller than for those without this challenge. For those in the smaller pool, it also means that you have to do everything you can to put your best self forward. When it comes to dating, you want to cast a wide net.
Making communication work In person: Many people with a learning disability prefer face to face and one to one communcation.
In writing: Use bigger text and bullet points, and to keep writing at a minimum. Too much colour can make reading harder for someone as well. On the phone: Speak slowly and clearly, using easy to understand words. Being a good communicator To be a good communicator with people with a learning disability you need to: • Always use accessible language • Avoid jargon or long words that might be hard to understand. • be prepared to use differenet communication tools • follow the lead of the person you're communicating with • go at their pace, check you have understood and be creative.
“Sometimes I’ve got the words in my mind, and I’m trying to explain it in the best possible way, but it doesn’t always come out.” Having a communication difficulty? Remember, everybody is unique, so take the time to ask the person you're communicating with what works best for them. Try to imagine: • Not being able to read this • Not being able to tell someone else about it • Not being able to find the words you wanted to say • Opening your mouth and no sound coming out • Words coming out jumbled up • Not getting the sounds right • Words getting stuck, someone jumping in, saying words for you • People assuming what you want, without checking with you • Not hearing the questions • Not being able to see, or not being able to understand, the signs and symbols around you • Not understanding the words, phrases or expressions • Not being able to write down your ideas • Being unable to join a conversation • People ignoring what you're trying to say, feeling embarrassed and moving away • People not waiting long enough for you to respond in some way, assuming you have nothing to say and moving away.
Top 10 tips for communication • Find a good place to communicate in - somewhere without distraction. If you are talking to a large group be aware that some people may find this difficult. • Ask open questions; questions that don't have a simple yes or no answer.
• Check with the person that you understand what they are saying e.g. "the TV isn't working? Is that right?" • If the person wants to take you to show you something, go with them. • Watch the person; they may tell you things by their body language and facial expressions. • Learn from experience - you will need to be more observant and don't feel awkward about asking parents or carers for their help.
• Try drawing - even if your drawing isn't great, it might still be helpful. • Take you time, don't rush communication. • Use gestures and facial expressions. If you're asking if someone is happy or unhappy, make your facial expression unhappy to reinforce what you're saying. • Be aware that some people find it easier to use real objects to communicate, but photos and pictures can really help too.
Remember, all communication is meaningful, but you may need to work harder to understand. Further help Many people with a learning disability can use or recognise some signs. Singalong and Makaton are both Sign Supported English systems. They are based on British Sign Language (BSL), but are used to support the spoken word. • Visit the or the to find out more. • Visit the to find out more about BSL. • are a communication system that uses symbols and other images. • produce software symbols to help with communication and accessibility.
• is a website run by Widget for symbol users that includes nursery rhymes, stories and a monthly magazine. • is an organisation providing training and information on communication and accessibility.
best dating someone with learning disability - Dating with Disabilities
Noah felt like he was always hitting the books. While his friends were meeting for pickup soccer games after school, he was back home in his room reading and rereading the same material. But no matter how hard Noah studied, he had difficulty remembering things and his grades stayed average. Meanwhile, his friend Sean, who never seemed to study, always aced tests. It didn't seem fair. Because Noah was so frustrated, his dad and teachers made an appointment with the school psychologist.
She diagnosed Noah with a learning disability. Although Noah felt relieved to know what was going on, he was also worried. He didn't like the "disability" label. And he was concerned about what it might mean for his future. Would he be able to go to college and study engineering as he'd hoped? What Are Learning Disabilities? For someone diagnosed with a learning disability, it can seem scary at first. But a learning disability doesn't have anything to do with a person's intelligence — after all, successful people such as Walt Disney, Alexander Graham Bell, and Winston Churchill all had learning disabilities.
Learning disabilities are problems that affect the brain's ability to receive, process, analyze, or store information. These problems can make it difficult for a student to learn as quickly as someone who isn't affected by learning disabilities. There are many kinds of learning disabilities. Most students affected by them have more than one kind. Certain kinds of learning disabilities can interfere with a person's ability to concentrate or focus and can cause someone's mind to wander too much.
Other learning disabilities can make it difficult for a student to read, write, spell, or solve math problems. The way our brains process information is extremely complex — it's no wonder things can get messed up sometimes.
Take the simple act of looking at a picture, for example: Our brains not only have to form the lines into an image, they also have to recognize what the image stands for, relate that image to other facts stored in our memories, and then store this new information. It's the same thing with speech — we have to recognize the words, interpret their meaning, and figure out the significance of the statement to us. Many of these activities take place in separate parts of the brain, and it's up to our minds to link them all together.
If, like Noah, you've been diagnosed with a learning disability, you're not alone. Nearly 4 million school-age kids and teens have learning disabilities, and at least 20% of them have a type of disorder that makes it difficult to focus. What Are the Signs of Learning Disabilities? You can't tell by looking that a person has a learning disability, which can make learning disabilities hard to diagnose.
Learning disabilities usually first show up when a person has difficulty speaking, reading, writing, figuring out a math problem, communicating with a parent, or paying attention in class.
Some kids' learning disabilities are diagnosed in grade school when a parent or a teacher notices the kid can't follow directions for a game or is struggling to do work he or she should be able to do easily.
But other kids develop sophisticated ways of covering up their learning issues, so the problem doesn't get addressed until the teen years when schoolwork — and life — gets more complicated. Most learning disabilities fall into one of two categories: verbal and nonverbal. People with verbal learning disabilities have difficulty with words, both spoken and written.
The most common and best-known verbal learning disability is , which causes people to have trouble recognizing or processing letters and the sounds associated with them. For this reason, someone with dyslexia will have trouble with reading and writing tasks or assignments.
Some people with verbal learning disabilities may be able to read or write just fine but struggle with other aspects of language. For example, they may be able to sound out a sentence or paragraph perfectly, making them good readers, but they can't relate to the words in ways that will allow them to make sense of what they're reading (such as forming a picture of a thing or situation).
And some people have trouble with the act of writing as their brains struggle to control the many things that go into it — from moving their hand to form letter shapes to remembering the correct grammar rules involved in writing down a sentence.
People with nonverbal learning disabilities may have difficulty processing what they see. They may have trouble making sense of visual details like numbers on a blackboard. Someone with a nonverbal learning disability may confuse the plus sign with the sign for division, for example. Some abstract concepts like fractions may be difficult to master for people with nonverbal learning disabilities.
The behavioral condition is often associated with learning disabilities because people with ADHD also might have a hard time focusing enough to learn and study. Students with ADHD are often easily distracted and have trouble concentrating. They may also be excessively active or have trouble controlling their impulses. What Causes Them?
No one's exactly sure what causes learning disabilities. But researchers do have some theories as to why they develop, including: • Genetic influences. Experts have noticed that learning disabilities tend to run in families and they think that heredity could play a role.
However, researchers are still debating whether learning disabilities are, in fact, genetic, or if they show up in families because kids learn and model what their parents do. • Brain development. Some experts think that learning disabilities can be traced to brain development, both before and after birth.
For this reason, problems such as low birth weight, lack of oxygen, or premature birth may have something to do with learning disabilities. Young children who receive head injuries may also be at risk of developing learning disabilities. • Environmental impacts. Infants and young kids are susceptible to environmental toxins (poisons). For example, you may have heard how lead (which can be found in some old homes in the form of lead paint or lead water pipes) is sometimes thought to contribute to learning disabilities.
Poor nutrition early in life also may lead to learning disabilities later in life. How Do You Know It's a Learning Disability? Just because you have trouble studying for a test doesn't mean you have a learning disability.
There are as many learning styles as there are individuals. For example, some people learn by doing and practicing, while others learn by listening (such as in class) or prefer to read material.
Some people are just naturally slower readers or learners than others, but they still perform well for their age and abilities. Sometimes, what seems to be a learning disability is simply a delay in development; the person will eventually catch up with — and perhaps even surpass — his or her peers. But many people with learning disabilities struggle for a long time before someone realizes that there's a reason they're having so much trouble learning. For most people in their teen years, the first telltale sign of most learning disabilities occurs when they notice that there's a disconnect between how much they studied for a test and how well they performed.
Or it may just be the feeling a person has that something isn't right. If you're worried, don't hesitate to share your thoughts with a parent or a teacher. The first step in diagnosing a learning disability is ruling out vision or hearing problems. A person may then work with a psychologist or learning specialist who will use specific tests to help diagnose the disability.
Often, these can help pinpoint that person's learning strengths and weaknesses in addition to revealing a particular learning disability. Coping With a Learning Disability Although a diagnosis of a learning disability can feel upsetting, it's actually the first step in resolving the condition. Once a person's particular problem has pinpointed, he or she can then follow strategies or take medicines to help cope with the disability.
And taking steps to manage the disability can often help restore a student's self-esteem and confidence. Some students who have been diagnosed with a learning disability work with a special teacher or tutor for a few hours a week to learn certain study skills, note-taking strategies, or organizational techniques that can help them compensate for their learning disability. If you've been diagnosed with a learning disability, you may need support just for the subjects that give you the most trouble.
Your school might have a special classroom with a teacher who is trained to help students overcome learning problems. Some schools develop what is called an Individualized Education Program (or IEP), which helps define a person's learning strengths and weaknesses and make a plan for the learning activities that will help the student do his or her best in school. A student's IEP might include sessions with a tutor or time in a specialized classroom for a certain subject, or the use of special equipment to help with learning, such as books on tape or laptop computers for students who have dyslexia.
Medication is often prescribed to help students with ADHD. Several medicines on the market today can help improve a student's attention span and ability to focus and help control impulses and other hyperactive behavior. There's no cure for a learning disability. And you don't outgrow it. But it's never too late to get help.
Most people with these disabilities adapt to their learning differences and find strategies that help them accomplish their goals and dreams. Note: All information on TeensHealth® is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor. © 1995- The Nemours Foundation. All rights reserved. Images provided by The Nemours Foundation, iStock, Getty Images, Veer, Shutterstock, and Clipart.com.
Some learning disabilities don’t affect everyday life to a strong degree, and would be more of an inconvenience than a major issue. For those things that do change how they can live in a significant way, check out my post on marrying someone who is disabled.
I think it does require a lot of soul-searching and is important to make sure you’re up for it, for your sake and for theirs. I won’t repeat that all here. Here’s the link to my other post: The rest of my answer will be for cases in which the disability isn’t severe enough to completely change and affect a person’s life, but just makes a few things more difficult. If the person was dedicated to putting in the work it requires to continue to find ways to learn and connect intellectually, then absolutely I would date them.
I have a severe learning disability related to how my eyes work with each other and with my brain. Initially I was unable to learn to read, but with the right glasses and years of vision therapy, I now read quite fast and with good comprehension. I still struggle with spelling and memory (I can remember the gist of what I read but exact phrases are difficult for me to repeat, and numbers are very difficult for me to copy down). My fiance doesn’t have a learning disability as such, but he is visually impaired, so it affects his ability to read.
We listen to a lot of audiobooks together, and can use screen readers to read websites, etc. Sometimes I’m not feeling able to read a long, dense article, so he will give me the gist of it and we will talk about it that way. We still enjoy lively debates and intellectual discussions. That’s a huge part of our relationship and what attracted us to each other. I think it’s important for every relationship to include the ability to be flexible in how things are accomplished. We need to be patient and helpful with our significant other no matter whether it’s because they need a little extra help with learning or because of some other reason.
We all have deficiencies in one area or another. (But again, if the other person’s disability significantly impacts their everyday life, then I think it is important to figure out whether or not you are able to handle that, as I mentioned above.) I believe a good relationship requires having some overlap of the same things you’re passionate about.
For example, if one of you loves to read but the other struggles with it and isn’t interested or able to listen to audio, then it might not matter if there are plenty of other common interests, but it could have a big impact on the relationship if there weren’t enough things for the couple to do together and talk about. So if the disability is mild, then it has more to do with whether interests and passions are aligned than with the disability itself.
I think it’s also healthy for couples to have some differences and things they like that the other doesn’t, but in order for them to connect successfully over the long term, I do think there needs to be plenty of overlap in interests, morality, and long-term goals.
My gut reaction is "no, probably not." I have a deep love of learning and education and have spent most of my adult life in higher education. The same is true of my wife. We love discussing philosophy, psychology (she is a psychologist), science etc.
We are voracious readers and often recommend each other books and send each other journal articles to read. I am most definitely attracted to her intelligence, wit and commitment to self a development. I'm not saying that someone with a learning disability cannot possess these traits but it is significantly less likely.
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