They believe it’s better dating anyone than being single but I think this is a wrong idea to have. I don’t see the point dating someone I know I don’t like. I better remain single than date a lady I know I don’t like. Below are my reasons. 1. you miss out on those you might like. One problem with dating just anyone especially those you don’t like is that you end up missing the right person you might actually like. So I suggest you stay single and wait for the right one instead of dating someone you don’t like It’s bad dating someone you don’t like because it’s not right to play with people’s emotions. How would you feel if you were the one being used? Instead of dating someone you really don’t like, I suggest you use that time to do something better. Phil. Share with friends.
It would seem you have already told them the big news. If they question that, tell them that is how you are and could use their support and acceptance. It isn't a choice, it is simply how you are. If they need to hear it, you can assure them that they did nothing to cause it any more than they cause … d the color of your hair. It just is and is probably not going to change any time soon.
Don't go overboard, but remember don't getcarried away. If they say no just smile & tell them, "I knowyou love me & that's why you don't want me fooling around, butI really love him/her, so please let me date him/her." If he or sheis really someone you should be with, your parents will know &so will … your heart. to tell someone you dont like them is very easy if your not interested you could simply say you just want to be friends or that you like someone else if the guy/girl likes you enough they would accept your decision and understand that you like them but dont want too be official like them ; Serious … ly just flat out say that you really don't like them at all and then just walk away.
Nuff Said. You need to understand why they dislike it and work to resolve that problem. If they are worried about you being romantically involved then find out what would help them feel safe. It may be that you date in groups until they feel comfortable with the people you are seeing. If they feel it imp … acts your schooling then bring your date over to study a few times and agree that you will only date when your school work is satisfactory. There may be other problems, but each and every one is solvable, and it is always easier if your parents meet and are comfortable with your date.
well if you get along with your parents and you dont think they are going to have a problem with it, you should just come out and tell them. one way is if they ask how your day was or i there is anything new just say well actually ive had a cruch on a boy and he asked me out today...
it really depen … ds how old you are and what situation your in. if you tell me your situation.. i can try my best to help ! it matter how the person acts and how you feel about them if this person is annoying you all the time then just tell them that youre not interested if its someone very nice and polite just give little signs when they try hold your hand you take your hand away and then they may know and if they … dont just say that you have such great friendship why bother with love There's not really a nice way to do it but here's what I did...
after they ask you try to avoid them and just ignore them completely. if they keep bothering you about it continue to ignore them. if it's been a while and they can't take the hint just have a friend tell them you said no OR the next … time they ask you about it say can you not take a hint? just try to seem sincere and don't be a jerk
best dating someone you don like them - Should You Date Someone Who Likes You If You Don't Like Them That Much?
The media is always telling us what to wear, what to say, etc. to impress people. However, to be with someone happily you don’t have to do so.
It’s really important to be ourselves and feel worthy of ourselves instead of trying hard to impress and caring too much about what others think. When you can find such a person, never let him/her go. Below are the signs you’re dating someone you don’t have to impress at all.
• • • • • 1. You don’t mind revealing your shortcomings Maybe you’re the messy type that knows where everything is located. Perhaps it’s known that for you, making dinner is a struggle. It’s okay, you’re loved anyway. You know you’ll never be put on the spot for your bad cooking when the person you’re dating steps up and shares the responsibility with you.
Your date surprises you with dinner or teaches you to cook as opposed to bringing over friends and family expecting you to turn into a chef. 2. You can admit what you don’t know without feeling ashamed Everyone is an expert on something.
More than likely, you appreciate if your date has a high intellect. If anything they impress you with their knowledge. If your date finds that you clearly don’t know something, they never make you feel ashamed. You get the relief of telling them you don’t know and they never make you feel any less for it. You may notice your differences bringing you closer together, rather than further apart. • • • • • 3. You can reveal your past mistakes and feel understood but not judged You really know where you stand with your date when you can reveal mistakes you made with no fear of being ridiculed.
They take the time to relate to you and understand your actions. You’re not made to feel ashamed of the things you’re not proud of. They don’t see you as less than perfect, but the human being that you are. • • • • • 4. You don’t mind showing your silly sides You can be goofy as often as you want and it’s all taken in good fun. They know you can be serious, but they bring so much playfulness and joy out of you.
You’re more willing to be vulnerable and get in touch with your inner child than you would be with most people. You give each other comic relief. They get just as silly as you and give you laughter as medicine. • • • • • 5. You don’t feel the need to change your inner self to make him/her more satisfied The person you don’t need to impress makes you want to express more of who you are, not alter it for them.
They know who you are and never ask you to be anything different. They don’t make you feel like you have to adjust to eating what they like and take up the same hobbies. No need to sharpen your fantasy football skills or take up hiking if that’s not your thing. 6. You can always be frank and there’s no guessing game What a relief to be able to say exactly what is on your mind without having to soften it. You don’t have to water down your strong, opinionated views.
The two of you don’t give each other much of an opportunity to misinterpret each other because you’re direct and honest with each other. • • • • • 7. You’re treasured because of your personality but not because of what you have They love the gifts you bring to the world more than the gifts you buy. The enthusiasm you experience dating each other comes from excellent chemistry of your personalities. Your material objects are not mentioned much because you’re the real treasure.
You find that you spend more time genuinely talking about each other than emphasizing your possessions. 8. You don’t mind showing your weak sides and can vent your emotions freely They not only listen to your troubles, they want to hear them. Your relationship has surpassed simply impressing them when they request you count on them when you’re not at your best.
They’re actually disappointed if you don’t reach out to them when you’re sad. They want to talk to you when you feel weak or low not because misery loves company, but because they know you’re a human being. You cycle through an array of emotions and the person you’re dating wants to experience it with you.
9. You can enjoy quiet time without each other without worrying what to say next Rest in peace awkward silence, you just don’t have these moments anymore. The silence is peaceful and charges the air with loving, comforting energy. Sometimes a glance in the eyes or a smile says it all. For many, enjoying the company of someone else in silence for the first time is the official point of reaching ultimate comfort with the one you’re dating. When the person you’re dating helps you clean up your house, car, or helps you with any weakness, you know they care.
How relieving is it that you get to continue being your awesome self and appreciated for it? Soak in every comforting moment, confide in them, and know that your possessions are only just that. Every bit of what you have to say is appreciated, whether it’s a corny joke or you’re suffering a loss.
Everyone likes feeling acknowledged. The beauty about dating this person is that they never expected you to impress them anyway. Featured photo credit: Featured photo credit: It has been said that you do not get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate for. I have seen this play out time and time again – in my own life and in the lives of others. Chances are, you have too. Have you ever been in an employment situation where you were hired and thought you had an okay deal only to realize a colleague received a great deal?
Regardless of how skilled you are, chances are you can benefit from tips that position you to be a better negotiator. For example, if you are in talks to purchase a home and are wrangling among a seller, the seller’s agent and your own agent, you could benefit from tools to help you remain calm under pressure and assert your wishes. If you are preparing to negotiate for a new position or promotion, and are questioning whether you are asking for too little, too much or just enough, here are at least 12 points on how to negotiate better so you can keep in mind prior to heading into negotiations.
1. Understand That Negotiations Are Inherently Stressful, and That’s Ok Walking into a negotiation is not like walking into an informal lunch with a friend.
Negotiations are inherently stressful, and you should let yourself off the hook for feeling anxious about these adrenaline-pumping discussions. Minda Harts, the founder of The Memo, shared, “Negotiations are a high-stakes game because everything is on the line.
It is natural to feel anxiety. Whether you are negotiating pay, equity or whatever, it is important to prepare for high-stakes conversations. You can do this by conducting research, role-playing and getting clear on your worth.” 2.
Know Your Worth Before you ever sit down at a bargaining or negotiating table, you should have a clear sense of your worth. Understand what you do better than others and understand how your work will improve the organization or company to which you belong or are seeking to join. At the most fundamental level, you should have a good sense of how your skills will add value to the company.
When you have a sense of your worth, you have a starting point or frame of reference in negotiations. You will also be better prepared to answer the “?” question. Harts agreed, “If you go into a negotiation not knowing your worth, you’ll look to others to define your worth and they may not value your contribution appropriately.
Understanding your skills and expertise, and knowing your worth allows you to position yourself from a place or power.” 3. Understand Your Emotion and the Emotions of Others In the workplace, women have been conditioned to hide or abandon emotion. Men and women alike are told emotion has no place in negotiations.
This isn’t entirely true. It doesn’t serve us well to avoid or discard emotion. We should understand our emotions as well as the emotions of others. When you understand your emotions and work to be emotionally intelligent, you anticipate what others are feeling and respond accordingly. When you consciously try to understand the emotions of others, you allow that insight to assist you, enabling you to pivot and adjust during the actual negotiation. Failing to understand emotions may mean you are unable to develop creative approaches for unanticipated challenges.
Researchers Kimberlyn Leary, Julianna Pillemer and Michael Wheeler observed in a 2013 Harvard Business Review article:  “The truth is that your passions matter in real-life deal making and dispute resolution.
You need to understand, channel, and learn from your emotions in order to adapt to the situation at hand and engage others successfully. That means you need to be emotionally prepared to negotiate—even when you expect the process to go smoothly.” 4. Conduct Tons of Research You cannot begin to know what is fair and what is appropriate without research. If you are negotiating for a new position or promotion, you’ll want to know your predecessor’s benefits package.
You’ll want to try to determine what the last person who interviewed and perhaps was offered the position received. You will want to review a company’s 990 to determine what its highest earners make and what those people do.
You will want to know what the market offers for positions like the one to which you are applying and what you can be replaced for. If you are negotiating for a new home, you will want to know what the home appraises for, whether there are liens against the property, what upgrades the seller has made to the home and what other homes on the block have sold for.
You will also want to know whether there have been foreclosures in the area so you will know how those foreclosures impact your property value. If you are in labor negotiations, there is a whole set of other information (such as profits, information from 990s, public complaints, long-term goals, etc.) you need to know before you can begin to know what is fair and acceptable for both the company and the union.
The bottom line is that walking into a negotiation without information is a recipe for disaster and dissatisfaction. 5. Understand What Motivates the Other Party For some people, status matters. For others, money and resources matter. For others still, autonomy and flexibility are motivators.
Regardless of which side of the negotiating table you sit on, you need to understand what motivates the people with whom you are negotiating. You cannot assess what you will need to give or make appropriate offers without an understanding of key motivators.
6. Don’t Wait for Perfection One of the things I loved about Katty Kay and Claire Shipman’s was their take on the dangers of perfection. They assert that often women wait for perfection before submitting projects or asking for a raise or promotion. They point out that we underestimate our own work. I see this in my own career, and I imagine it rings true for others as well.
The key takeaway for me from their book was that perfection isn’t insurance for progress. to begin negotiations over what you want. Scroll down to continue reading article If you wait for perfection, you may never seek out that raise, promotion or reassignment.
7. Say If Afraid If you are someone who shuns conflict and the very thought of negotiating unnerves you, you should know that you can negotiate while afraid. You do not have to be courageous to negotiate. You can ask for what you want, even when it scares you.
I remember desperately wanting a pay increase but was too afraid to ask for it. I was fearful I would introduce the topic at the wrong time; I was fearful my boss would scoff when I made my request; and most importantly, I was afraid she would say no. My boss was an incredibly busy lawyer, and I knew every moment of her time was valuable.
However, I knew that my silence and unwillingness to ask for what I wanted would gnaw at me. I resolved that I was just going to ask and blurted out my request during a check-in.
She said no. I thought about my presentation and realized that I should have made my request in a more formal manner. I should have put it in writing and outlined my contributions. I didn’t anticipate that even an informal request could get me closer to what I wanted. A couple of months later, my boss told me that she hadn’t forgotten my request, and when it was time for the annual cost of living increase, I received that as well as a small bump.
She did exactly as she promised. Going forward, I will be better prepared, but the lesson for me was to ask, even when fearful. 8. Be Willing to Walk Away Every opportunity is not for you. Regardless of how much you want that position, home or promotion, be willing to walk away if you do not receive a deal that makes sense for you.
Do not allow yourself to get desperate and accept a position that you will come to view unfavorably in the future. Have enough confidence in yourself and in your abilities to leave the table completely. When your sparring or negotiating partner realizes that you are willing to walk away completely, he or she may negotiate in better faith. 9. Shun Secrecy I am a proponent of being discreet, but discreetness can be the enemy when it comes to negotiations.
To negotiate the best deal, you may need to shun secrecy. You will need to ask others what they earn or whether the offer you received makes sense for your years of experience, for the area of the country where you live or the position to which you are applying. If possible, find out whether the company offered the position to others and on what terms. I was negotiating for a position and was comfortable accepting $85,000, and then a friend told me the company offered the position to a man with similar credentials and experience for $100,000.
With the assistance of a friend, I was able to get $99,840. This example illustrates why it is important to speak with trusted colleagues and mentors about offers and solicit their input on whether you are getting the best deal.
10. Look for the Win-Win Negotiations are not one side takes all, so try not to fall into the “winners” and “losers” trap. It is possible to negotiate in a way where there are no losers but everyone wins.
The best way to is having tons of research, understanding what motivates the other party and being willing to show and discern emotion. Another strategy for identifying the win-win is listening carefully during negotiations to discern what is of interest to the other party. People will tell you what they want – the question is whether you are listening. If you are in tune with the person with whom you are negotiating, you will be better equipped to identify what he or she needs to feel satisfied and give it to that individual.
11. Refuse to Fill the Pregnant Pause In my line of public relations work, I train colleagues and clients to resist the urge to fill the pregnant pause during media interviews. One tactic that some reporters use is silence during different stages of the interview, hoping the interviewee will keep talking. But with an abundance of words comes an abundance of opportunity for error.
The same is true in negotiations. Once you state your salary and compensation package requirements, be quiet. If the person you are speaking with gets silent, you remain silent with him or her. Do not fill the pregnant pause by lowering your requirements or awkwardly adding chatter because you are uncomfortable with silence. Refuse to fill the pregnant pause. 12. Be Honest When you are negotiating for a new position, be clear with yourself about what you need.
Be honest with yourself so that you can be honest with others. If the offer represents 70 percent of what you want, do not discard the 30 percent that you are not receiving. If you are honest, you can make an informed decision about whether the position is indeed in your best interest or whether you should open yourself up for other opportunities.
If you can be mindful of these points and utilize these tactics, I am confident you will negotiate in a manner that gets you and the other party what you both truly need. You can negotiate like a pro and get the life that you deserve. More Resources About Workplace Communication • • • • • Featured photo credit:
Wednesday 9 May 2018 10:57 am We’ve all been there. One minute you’re texting your friends about this amazing girl you met… and the next, you’re getting the ick. The ick is undefinable. The ick is the slow, doomed realisation that actually, you don’t like this person. You’re not in love with them. You don’t want to move in with them and argue about which public school to send your kids to. The ick comes in many forms, but it always sounds the death knell of the relationship. So now what?
Advertisement You might be thinking: ‘Easy. I’ll just never return that last text she sent me, the one where she asked me what I was doing tonight. She’ll probably assume I moved to New Zealand to become a sheep farmer, and that’s that’. No. Terrible. Ghosting, aka ‘the coward’s option’, is the wrong decision for so many reasons. For starters, you’ll feel vaguely guilty about it for the rest of your life.
You’ll live in dread of seeing them again. What if you bump into them at the veg market next Sunday? What if they think you’ve been kidnapped by a secret society? What if they become your new boss?
This is a move that accrues bad karma, and Trevor, you definitely don’t want bad karma. Instead of pulling a Houdini, try one of these alternatives: Cat-on-the-roof them Ok, maybe don’t wait until this stage to do it (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk) Okay, so the relationship is like their cat: 100% dead. But you are far too scared to blindside them with the news that the cat fell off the roof. You want to prepare them by telling them in stages.
( Oh dear, looks like your cat climbed onto the roof. Not sure that’s a great place for the cat to be… is it?) You can definitely prepare them for the breakup news in small ways. If you have a big date coming up, don’t go on it and feign an enthusiasm you don’t feel. Advertisement Taking her out to a romantic dinner and then texting them ‘Well that was nice.
See you in the next life!’ is not advisable. Ring her up right away and cancel. Make an excuse. Tell her that work is going to be crazy for the next few months because the boss hired his idiot nephew who can’t use Excel. She’ll likely sense what’s about to happen. A vague text is generally a safe bet A vague text is the nicer coward’s way out (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk) There are certain circumstances in which you absolutely have to have a sit-down conversation to end the relationship.
For instance, if you’re about to get married to the girl next week and you’ve suddenly developed a case of cold feet. In that case, you have to break up with them in person (yes Trevor, you sociopath. Don’t even think about buying a one-way ticket to New Zealand). But in the most common ghosting situations, you haven’t known the other person so long or so intimately. If you’ve only been on a handful of dates, it’s absolutely FINE to end things via text.
(It might even be preferable – no girl wants to put on her special third-date dress just to get broken up with in the local McDonalds.) More: Advertisement Hey. So, I’ve been thinking, and the truth is, I’m not in a place to date seriously right now. I’m so sorry about this. It was truly great to meet you, and I hope you don’t take it personally. I loved our time together, but I’m not sure about where this is going, or if we’re a great fit.
I hope you understand, and I’m very sorry about this. DO: say sorry. DON’T: get too specific. There’s absolutely no need to do a post-mortem of what exactly went wrong. The cat’s dead, and you don’t have to explain why. Keep it brief and keep it nice and keep it moving. Don’t pretend that you could still be friends No, they’re not gonna want to be your pal afterwards (Illustration: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk) Breaking it off with someone feels like slamming a door shut.
Are you sure you don’t want to leave a crack open? What if you could be friends and have platonic frozen-yoghurt dates on Fridays? That could be a pleasant alternative: who doesn’t want more friends in their life? Nuh-uh. Absolutely not. Never.
Ask yourself this: how would you feel if somebody was dumping you? It’s always a blow to the ego, and it’s only compounded by the other person saying kindly ‘Don’t cry, Trevor.
You can still be my book-club friend, after all.’ The other person needs time and space to get over you, and (surprise!) they probably don’t want to be friends with somebody who dumped them.
Slam the damn door and get it over with. In fact, send the text and then delete their number from your phone. This will prevent you from doing catastrophically stupid things, like ringing them on a drunk Tuesday night when you’re feeling lonely. There’s only one thing worse than ghosting someone, and that’s popping in and out of someone’s life on a whim. (We checked, and people who do that go to the lowest circle of Hell. It’s in the Bible. Sorry.) Make up your bloody mind!
Is it really the end with this person? Do you have the ick? Then pull off the Band-Aid. It’s what an adult would do, and it only takes 20 seconds. Pretend you’re texting someone else – like your weird co-worker Melvin who keeps inviting you to his house for Sunday dinner.
Sorry, Melvin. Goodbye. MORE: MORE:
How To Turn A Guy Down In A Classy Way