Here are some dating tips and questions to ask yourself when deciding whether or not you should date your ex. #1. Are you ready? The thing about dating your ex rather than dating someone new is you know what you are getting into. So think about this long and hard. Are you ready and willing to do deal with their quirks and their baggage again? Are you over the past hurt? Did you give yourself enough time to heal and do you forgive them and yourself for the break up?. But if you let them go for good reason and you are simply rethinking the break up because you are afraid of being alone then take some more time. Do you really miss them or the idea of them? Do you miss them or do you miss having someone, anyone?
Posted by admin on 29 Oct 2013 / 100 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married Bethany Grow of adapted from Don’t You Get Married Until You Read This!
The Book of Questions for Couples by Corey Donaldson Dating, engaged, married…or just single and want to get to know yourself a little better…these are all great questions and conversations to have with your significant other.
I found this list a few weeks ago and thought it would be nice to talk through some of these topics with my soon to be hubby, Sev. We popped a bottle of wine and sat on our patio and went through them one by one. Few of his answers were earth-shattering (we’ve been together for 5 years afterall) but it was still nice to see where he (and I) stood on many issues and it made me realize just why we are getting married.
Sex/Romance/Love If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left? What is the best way for me to show that I love you? If I put on weight, will it affect our sexual relationship?
How? Is it important for you to know that I’m a virgin? Why or why not? What do I do that causes you to question my love?
What turns you off sexually? How would our relationship be affected if for medical reasons we could not have children? Do you think being in love means: (1) Never having to say you’re sorry, (2) Always having to say you’re sorry, (3) Knowing when to say you’re sorry, or (4) Being the first to say I’m sorry? The Past Which childhood experiences influence your behavior and attitude the most? Could any feelings of affection and romance be revived if you met a previous boyfriend/girlfriend even though you feel strongly committed to me?
Is there anything in your past I should be aware of? What did you dislike the most about your previous partners? If your past boyfriends/girlfriends listed your most negative characteristics, what would they be? Do you keep letters and memorabilia from past relationships?
Why or why not? Are you comfortable continuing this relationship if there are things in my past that I am not willing to share with you? Have you ever been involved in any criminal activities? What were they? Did your mother or father abuse each other or you in any way- sexually, emotionally, or physically? Have you ever been able to overcome a bad habit? What was it? Have you ever been violent in past relationships?
Trust Have there been times when you were uncomfortable with the way I behaved with the opposite sex? If so, when and what did I do? What do I do now or what could I do in the future that would make you mistrust me?
Would you be comfortable transferring all your money into my bank account? Who comes first, your spouse or your children? Is trust automatic until something occurs that takes it away, or does it evolve over time? Do you trust me with money? Is it permissible for us to open each other’s mail?
The Future How are we different? Could this be a source of future conflict? Do our differences complement each other?
Do you anticipate maintaining your single lifestyle after we are married? That is, will you spend just as much time with your friends, family and work colleagues? Why or why not? How did your family resolve conflicts when you were growing up? Do you approve or disapprove of that method? what will you change or not change to resolve conflicts in your future family? Is there anything about marriage that frightens you?
Would you prefer to live in the city, the country, or by the beach? Why? If I wanted to move away from our families for work, would you support me? How would it affect you if I travel on my own frequently to (1) visit family, (2) earn income, (3) pursue a hobby, or (4) deal with stress? Suppose we are experiencing trouble in our marriage. In what order will you seek help from the following to resolve our conflicts: (1) divorce lawyer, (2) your parents, (3) a brother or sister (4) a marriage counselor, (5) me, (6) a church leader?
Why? How will you support my hobbies? How do you feel about having our parents come to live with us if the need arises? Is there anything you would regret not being able to do or accomplish if you married me? How will we schedule holidays with our families? Children If we are unable to have children, should we adopt? Do you anticipate raising our children (1) the same way you were raised (2) completely differently from the way you were raised (3) a mixture of both? How long would you like to wait before having children?
Other than formal schooling, what types of education will our children get and how will they receive them?
When we have children, who will change the diapers, heat the bottles, prepare the meals, do the housework, bathe the child, get up in the middle of the night when a child is crying, take the child to the doctor, buy clothing, and dress the child? What types of discipline would you implement to correct a child’s or a teenager’s behavior?
Were these practices you experiences or are they new ones you have developed on your own? Annoyances If I had bad breath or body odor or wear dirty clothes, will you tell me? Should I tell you?
Why or why not? How should we do it? What is nagging? Do I nag? How does it make you feel? DO you approve without reservation of the way I dress? What does my family do that annoys you? Would it bother you if I made body noises all the time, like passing gas or burping?
Is there anything you do in your line of work that I would disapprove of or that would hurt me? Do you believe that you should stick with a marriage if you are unhappy all the time?
When do you need space away from me? Communication Whenever we have difficult feelings about each other, should we (1) remain silent, (2) say something as soon as the difficult feelings arise, (3) wait a certain amount of time before raising the issue, or (4) do something else? If so, what? If you always say you are going to do something but never do it, what is the most effective way to bring this problem to your attention? What did you admire about the way your mother and father treated each other?
What is the best way for me to communicate difficult feelings about you so that you are not offended? Who should know bout the arguments we have? What makes you not want to talk to me? Do you feel you could communicate with me under any circumstance and about any subject? Finance What justifies going into debt? What are all your current personal debts? Do you feel stress when facing financial problems? How do you deal with that stress?
How often do you use credit cards, and what do you buy with them? How should we prepare for a financial emergency? Do you feel that lack of money is a good reason not to have children?
When our child is born, will he or she go to daycare or will one of us stay home to take care of the child? Who will it be? Will we have a budget? Who will pay the bills? How do you feel about helping me pay my debts? What are your feelings about saving money? Do you prefer separate bank accounts or assets in different names? Why?
Miscellaneous How would you rank all the priorities in your life: work, school, family, spouse, friends, hobbies, and chuch? Does your ranking reflect the amount of time you spend on each? Are you closer to your mother or father? Why? Do you prefer a set daily work schedule or flexible work activities and timetables? What do you fear? What influence, if any, do you believe my family should have on our relationship?
Do you believe that our parents should know our financial condition, whether good or bad, just because they want to? How far should this go? What are your views on pornography? How would you react if our son or daughter told us they were gay? Do you harbor any racial prejudice? How do you feel about having guns in our home? Is there anyone close to you who feels we should not get married? Why? Should we this? What health problems do you have?
Have you ever had any psychological problems? When you are in a bad mood, how should I deal with it? Do you like pets? **Editors Note 12/2/13: I am so excited and overwhelmed by the response to this blog post!
I put it up on my blog a little over a month ago, and, like many of my blog posts, I shared it on my page. To date there have been over 75,000 page views, mostly from Pinterest, on my blog from people viewing this list. Although I am not the original author, I think this is a fantastic set of questions that all couples should work through at some point in their relationship and I am so happy to share it with so many people.
As a wedding photographer and soon-to-be bride myself, it is especially relevant and meaningful for me and I hope you enjoyed discussing the topics with your significant other as much as I did. If you’re in the Colorado or Nebraska area, please mention this post and receive 10% off any photography package.
Thanks for reading!
best dating test questions to ask before - Dating Questions: 80 Questions to Ask Before Getting Serious
I’m a big believer in cutting some of the crap when it comes to how we’re told to behave on dates. It’s mostly being in my first non-monogamous relationship that’s taught me this lesson — anyone I go out with will have a lot of questions about how my relationship and sex life work, and I feel it’s my responsibility to be as open as possible.
It took me a couple of years, but I’ve come to realize I deserve the same honesty in return. We have a misconception in our culture that directness is the same as rudeness, but it’s actually quite the opposite — what’s kind about lying or telling someone a half-truth you think they want to hear?
I like to practice radical honesty instead. Delivered and received with kindness rather a judgment, it is actually the much more compassionate way to be, even if certain conversations aren’t always easy to have. With that in mind, here are some “awkward” or even “rude” questions that most people end up actually appreciating. And if they don’t? Well, that information should save you some time too. 1.
What are you looking for right now? This is one many of us want to ask but don’t because we don’t want to “ruin things.” Take a minute to examine that logic: if you ruin things simply by asking a direct question about something so fundamental, is that relationship really worth your time?
Women especially tend to have a fear of being “that girl” asking “that question,” but I find many people are often relieved to be asked this directly.
I preface the question by saying that there is no wrong answer besides a dishonest one and add that my date doesn’t owe me anything except their frankness. I won’t be angry with them, especially early on — I’m just trying to have all the information before I get more invested. Recently, asking this question helped me avoid sleeping with someone who seemed like a relationship guy but who it turned out only wanted casual sex.
Nothing against casual sex, but I’m really glad I found that out before getting disappointed when he failed to live up to expectations I’d based on fantasies. 2. So, who else are you dating right now? I’m a fan of going for this one on the first date — how much they stumble over being honest reveals a lot about a person. Everyone is dating around, and the earlier you find out how deep in they are with other people, the less you’re going to have to worry that you seem like you’re trying to have “the talk.” You just want to know the situation, and to gauge whether this person is emotionally mature enough to be upfront with you.
Phrasing it this way (assuming they’re dating other people rather than asking if there are) will also help them not feel judged.
If the answer is “no one,” they can still say that, but you’re not trying to “catch them” in the act of dating other people. 3. What are your feelings about monogamy/non-monogamy? This is a question I never asked before I found myself in a non-monogamous relationship, but even if I one day date monogamously again, I’ll continue to ask it.
It’s a pretty fundamental thing for two people who are potentially going to knock parts (and/or hearts) to know about each other, even if you’re not on the same page. 4. When were you last tested? If you don’t want to ask this one over your first drink, I understand. That said, I’ve learned that I almost always end up regretting it if I don’t pose this question until right before I’m about to have sex with someone (or worse, if I don’t ask at all).
Not only does their answer tell you their STI status, but how they react to the question will show you if they’re comfortable being an adult about sex, how honest they seem, and to what degree they prioritize safety and health. In my experience, people who say things like, “It’s been a long time, but I always use condoms” or “I don’t have any symptoms, so…” and leave it there?
Usually not the most grown-ass of contenders. If you make having recent test results a prerequisite for sleeping with you, it also gives them a chance to show they’re serious about dating you and helps slow things down by a couple of weeks in a (subversively) old-fashioned way.
5. Why did your last relationship end? This question gives you a lot of information: how reflective they are, what their relationship history is, where they might currently be at, and how much blame they tend to put on other people rather than themselves. Beware of dates who degrade their ex or use words like “crazy” without reflecting on their own role in the dynamic. 6. Why do you think you’re single? This is another question that shows how self-reflective someone is and how much they tend to place blame on others.
If you’re really feeling them, there’s also a way to ask this question that can come off as quite the compliment. (Avoid the cliche, “So, how is a catch like you single?” but put your own spin on the same sentiment.) 7. So…what was that? I ask this one if someone does something straight-up obnoxious and rude or otherwise unaware. Calling them on it — again, in a level and kind way — is actually a great way to draw their attention to the fact that they might have offended you.
At best, they’ll have a chance to recover, and at the least, maybe they’ll think twice before they do it to the next person. 8. Do you have any deal breakers I should know? You can also phrase this one as, “how do you feel about [insert your ethical deal breaker here]?” It could be eating animals, having kids, Trump — whatever.
Better you find out sooner rather than later. 9. What was your longest relationship like? Especially if you’re going out with someone in the hopes of a serious relationship, you might as well find out whether they’ve been able to commit in the past.
If someone is 45 and has never been in a relationship longer than a year, I’m not saying they should be disqualified — but knowing that (and why) might help temper your expectations. Likewise, if someone just got out of a seven-year marriage, maybe that’s information you’d like to have. 10. So, what do you plan to do about it? I like to ask this question when someone is talking about how they hate their job or politics or is otherwise being negative. Everyone complains, but whether they can complain and be proactive tells you a lot about someone.
This is also a good way to respond when someone is being generally cynical about dating. If they’re worth your time, they’ll be caught off-guard by your calling them on it gently— and then rapidly impressed by you. 11. How am I different than what you thought I’d be like?
This gives you some good information about how your profile is reading, and also lets them a) show you how honest they can be and b) let you know if they’re feeling you. Asked with confidence, it makes you look very secure, which is always sexy. 12. So, what else do you want to know about me? I used to fill all the silence on dates with questions for the other person — it’s a way we subconsciously ingratiate ourselves. Now, I’ve learned that someone going on a long monologue without giving you a chance to speak in return can be a major red flag.
Sure, some people are just chatty, but pay attention (again, perhaps especially if you’re a woman who dates men, because of socialized-gender-bullshit) to whether they ask you any thoughtful questions in return. If you’ve been nodding for five minutes straight, let the next silence hang and then drop this question that brings the focus back to you. I also think this is a strong way to end a first date, even if they have already asked you plenty — it’s confident, signals your interest, and gives them a chance to ask whatever they may still be wondering (also highly recommend this one for job interviews).
And if they can’t think of anything? Well, that’s information you can use, too. Who you are certainly merits further investigation.
7 Questions To Ask Before Dating Your Ex Should you date your ex again? How do you know if you should give your ex boy friend or girlfriend another chance or if you should just move on? Here are some and questions to ask yourself when deciding whether or not you should date your ex. #1. Are you ready? The thing about dating your ex rather than is you know what you are getting into.
So think about this long and hard. Are you ready and willing to do deal with their quirks and their baggage again? Are you over the past hurt? Did you give yourself enough and do you forgive them and yourself for the break up? If you bring old issues or past anger into this new relationship then it won’t work.
So make sure you are ready to enter this relationship again. Make sure you are ready to be in any relationship and that you are ready to love.
Opening yourself up to another person isn’t easy. Trusting again can be hard. If you are not ready, then give yourself more time to heal and work on yourself. #2. How are you feeling? It is true what they say that you can’t love anyone else if you don’t love yourself. Be honest with yourself and with your ex. Work through the problems that broke you up. You have to be to get into a relationship.
This is even more necessary when you are going back to an ex because they know how to push your buttons. Are feeling and confident enough to be in a relationship especially one where you may have to work even harder to resolve issues?
#3. What caused the break up? You need to own up to your part in the break up and see if you can fix what you did wrong. Also are you willing to work with your ex on whatever problems you two had together? Do you think you can honestly and not dwell on the past and the problems? You both need to honestly assess what caused you to break up and if this problem will reoccur. You need to enter into this relationship like it is a new relationship. . Make sure you are willing to fully commit to the present and start anew.
#4. Why do you want them back? Do you want them back because and miss them? Or do you want them back because you love them and truly can’t imagine living without them? You don’t want to get back into a out of need or desperation. You want to get back with your ex because you made a mistake when you let them go.
You want to get back with your ex because you want him or her. But if you let them go for good reason and you are simply rethinking the break up because you are afraid of being alone then take some more time. Do you really miss them or the idea of them? Do you miss them or do you miss having someone, anyone? Are you sure you are over the hurt? Did they really hurt you such as or hitting you? Then are you sure you want them back? #5. How would it be different this time? What has changed?
Look at what has changed with both people and the situation and make sure things are different and you are both prepared to try to make it work. Make sure that the is addressed and really looked at to see that you can make it work this time.
Otherwise how can the relationship be successful this time if nothing has really changed? Don’t listen to the same old promises with out actions to back them up. Likewise don’t make promises that you are willing, ready and to and follow through on. #6. How long have you been separated? If you got together when you were younger and it has been years since you have been together and things have changed and you want to this is definitely understandable and a great reason to try again.
Also if one of you had an issue that you have worked on, got help or counseling (maybe an or even if one of you cheated for example) and time has passed and you want to try again.
Then just make sure you both have addressed the problem and made changes. You want to make sure you are both and that the issue won’t happen again. But if they clearly have been sober and have been working on themselves and things have changed then it may be worth revisiting. Numerology Compatibility Test -Your Details- Name: Date of Birth: -Your Partner's Details- Name: Date of Birth: If you have not been broken up long, then are you even really broken up?
Do you tend to do this – break up and get back together quickly? Is this your most recent fight and the result is you break up and then get back together? Then think through if you both want to keep this drama up. Maybe you guys should go to or work on what keeps causing you to break up and fight. #7. Are you both in it for the right reasons? Make sure this is not just a booty call or a quick hook up for one of you. If it is a hook up then make sure you both want the same thing so that no one gets hurt.
Make sure you both fully address what you want this time around and what you don’t want. Communication and trust are the . So be honest with each other from the beginning. The good thing is you know one another and should be comfortable talking about yourselves and your issues. Also don’t get back with your ex to just use them until something else comes along. Be careful when dating an ex, take things slow. Try to approach it as if you were dating someone new.
Get to know each other and let the grow. Don’t jump right back into bed with them. Don’t have high expectations. You do know this person.
While you want to approach this as if it is a new relationship, you don’t want to assume they are a completely different person. They probably didn’t change all that much since you last dated. Be clear on what you expect of them this time around.
Communicate what you want out of him or her and what you don’t want in your new relationship. and expectations as well. Relive the good times and try to forget about the bad stuff. Remember why you got back together but don’t dwell on why you broke up.
Focus on the good not the bad and always remember to give them the benefit of doubt. After all if you have weighed your options and decided to get back with them because you felt like it was right for you then . Once you made your choice go for it. There is a reason you keep trying with them. They may be the one you spend the rest of your life with. So make sure you allow this opportunity to have the chance it needs.
Love and happiness is worth working for. See Also: • ? • •
7 Questions You Should Ask On A First Date