As in ancient China, youngsters were ordered by their parents to marry a boy(man) or girl(woman), I don’t think there are dating traditions in China. But as a young man who once had relationships, I will try my best to explain things happening now. Based on Friends and the Big Bang Theory, I tend to believe that our American counterparts don’t really care about the name of their relations. Well, generally speaking, apart from those who will be depised by others, most Chinese choose to be caucious on whether she or he is(are) their girlfriend(s) or boyfriend(s). So dates before and after the of .
As in ancient China, youngsters were ordered by their parents to marry a boy(man) or girl(woman), I don’t think there are dating traditions in China. But as a young man who once had relationships, I will try my best to explain things happening now. Based on Friends and the Big Bang Theory, I tend to believe that our American counterparts don’t really care about the name of their relations. Well, generally speaking, apart from those who will be depised by others, most Chinese choose to be caucious on whether she or he is(are) their girlfriend(s) or boyfriend(s).
So dates before and after the official foundation of their relationships can be very different. Before that, boys need to invite girls to a dinnier (especially in the evening one) first and try to watch films with them. The latter is especially considered to be a signal of continuing to hang out.
And gradually, they will be more and more familiar with each other until one day one (usually the male) proposes that they should be a couple. Some may choose to do it in public, campus in particular, to attract attention and put pressure on the other one, which I personally disagree.After that, in most cases, they are expected to announce to the world, at least their best friends that they are together as a couple.
Then they will still date out in daily basis or in weekends regularly. These dates, especially those that are posted in their social media, will be widely considered as “torturing the bachelors”. For those who have to be apart from each other physically, they are likely to go to the place where the other is working/studying to spend a couple of days.
FYI, yesterday was just China’s single day that is also known as the Shopping Day. In this date(Nov. 11th or 11.11, as number 1 can be a sign of loneliness) , some student unions or other organizations mainly made up of younsters would like to hold single parties so as to raise the percentage of people in relationships.
In my experience in China, as a foreigner, dating was like the west mainly, only thankfully less involved in alcohol, like in my native Yorkshire. I met a nice lady, asked for her phone number, and we went on a date.
The dates were in restaurants or tea houses, parks, cinemas and not the bar or pub. So that was great. I think I had an advantage being “different” and foreign.
For Chinese people, I noticed things to be more innocent in a way than in the west. Young men and women might “fall in love” maybe at college and date for a long time and marriage is often on the cards. I don’t think the parents have such a strong control over who their child/ sometimes children marry, like in other Asian countries.
The boy friends/girlfriends do have to show great respect for their partners parents though. Which is good. I was introduced to the parents of the ladies ( I lived in China for many years) I dated after sometime and made sure I showed them the due respect. There is always strong bonds within families.
Confucianism has and still does have a strong influence. The families of the three girlfriends I had in China over the years were very polite, friendly, warm and welcoming towards me.
It was never negative. I’d go round for the best meals ever at the family house. The Chinese elders, uncles and aunties and potential in laws were so hospitable and warm hearted. It was though a relief to be able to leave the family house and for us two to go off and do our own thing. We’d often go on holidays, travelling around the countryside for a few days which was great. I think most Chinese people don’t have that many partners before they marry.
Later on in life things might be different for some people. Haha interesting question. Basically the dating is very similar to that in US, maybe to your disappointment but the dating itself has nothing special.
The only part different from majority in US is parents will try to find proper matches for their kids by exchanging their phone number. After that it's up to kids to decide whether they want a date or not.
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So, you’ve managed to find a Chinese girlfriend, or at least a Chinese woman that seems interested in you. Now what? Well that depends on a quite a few things, because Chinese traditions and social expectations are changing rapidly each person seems to have a different idea of what dating in China seems to entail.
Here are the three most common types of Chinese girlfriends. A Traditional Chinese Woman If you get a traditional Chinese girlfriend, don’t expect to get really intimate quickly, unless you’re a very smooth talker. These women have typically grown up being told that sex before marriage, and even dating before finishing college is a terrible thing that will ruin their lives.
This type of girlfriend also doesn’t like really public shows of affection. They are traditional and usually do not like kissing in public. You WILL also be asked if you are serious about , which means marriage. And they are serious about this. You will also meet the parents fairly soon if they live close by and you have to make a good impression if you want to stay in the relationship. Also if you date her and then break up, expect a lot of crying and frequent attempts to talk to find out what went wrong.
A Westernized Chinese Woman A growing number of women, both rural and urban, are becoming more Westernized. This means that they’re less shy, willing to hold hands and kiss in public, and aren’t as innocent as the traditional Chinese woman. You’ll still get asked questions about marriage, and she’ll probably want to introduce you to her parents within a month if possible, they have to appear nice and innocent.
But while they may be more clingy than a typical Western woman, don’t panic too much at this commitment, most of them are just looking for a bit of fun. The Gold Digger Some expats will tell you every Chinese woman is a gold digger, but that’s not true. While it is customary for the man to have a house and car before getting married, many women realize that that isn’t always possible, and that Westerners are different.
However there is a large minority of Chinese women who when they see a man see a walking wallet. These women will ask you for a pair of shoes, an I-phone, or a computer after the first date. Believe me they are not subtle. If you have the money, the good thing about these women is that most of them are willing to try almost anything. The bad thing is you need money.
The moment you refuse to buy something, there will be a fight. Conclusion These are fairly simplified, and you’ll find women with a mixture of these traits. She may be traditional in some ways, but also very Westernized in other aspects, and I’ve talked to some university girls who at first seem very traditional, but then told me stories that made me blush.
So don’t enter a relationship thinking it will be a certain way, but once you get an idea of her attitude you can probably slot her into one of these three categories fairly easily.
In the world that is getting smaller thru technology and the internet, our way of life has changed in leaps and bounds. How we do things, from our everyday tasks to even something as hard as finding a home can all be done with a push of a button. Even how we connect to people is no longer limited to words and we can now easily express ourselves in more ways and to a wider audience with lesser efforts.
How we build our relationships are now moving into uncharted territories, leaving behind our more traditional and simple courtship and dating practices. Photo: chinawhisper.com While the world, in general, is now more accepting of interracial relationships, there are still many challenges faced by couples who go beyond the norms of their society and date someone of a different race. In a country like China, it is amazing to see how culture and tradition are still interlaced through its modern and fast-paced citizens.
Dating a traditional Chinese, or even someone who may not be traditional but may come from a conservatively traditional family might pose challenging. Here are a few tips to help you understand and enjoy your relationship despite the differences you might have: Photo: Quora 1. Understanding Your Differences Coming from different backgrounds require more than your love for each other. You need to understand each other’s background and try to work your relationship to reflect your respect for each other.
Most western people grew up in cultures that foster independence and free thinking while the more traditional Chinese are taught to value their family and its honor. This can cause conflict as an independent mind might think that tradition might limit his freedom and that of his relationship, or a traditional person might find it uncomfortable to do anything that might have an impact on the family.
Learning to compromise and accept each other’s differences can allow both to reach an understanding. Photo: Quora 2. Celebrate Your Similarities A relationship grows stronger when we see the value of the other person in our life. Despite the differences in your culture, there will always be that special bond that you share with each other. Find the things that are common between you that can help you grow to treasure each other more.
Build your relationship on the common things you both like and enjoy. Photo: Quora 3. Enjoy A Different Touch In Dating Your differences are not necessarily bad for your relationships. You can enjoy your dates by incorporating the uniqueness of your backgrounds. This is also a great way to understand and appreciate each other more.
You can learn to enjoy each other’s cultures and traditions. Photo: Chrome Geek 4. Managing Expectations Most Chinese grew up in households that taught them the value of marriage. Their parents usually had arranged marriages and they grew up to value marital stability, and not necessarily romantic relationships. Most of them are pressured to get married almost as much as to get a job. Understanding this, most of them do not get into a relationship if it will not lead to marriage.
Intimacy is something that is valued, and unless a relationship is serious, it is not to easily given. Knowing this at the beginning of a relationship is best to avoid unwanted expectations from both sides. Photo: dating.lovetoknow.com 5. Extend The Love As mentioned, family ties are important in China.
In fact, most of their traditions involve “saving face” not only for yourself but also for your family. An independent Western person might balk at the idea of him asking his parents in order to date someone. But for a traditional Chinese, this is the norm, and not doing so might embarrass the whole family. Family members also put in a lot into the relationships.
It is common for a Chinese man’s family to band together to help their son buy a house for him. So they also expect to have a say in the relationship. For someone coming from an entirely opposite background, it may take a lot to understand this. But if you value the person you love, there is always more love to share around, even to extended family members.
Photo: StyleCraze 6. Be Yourself While it may be challenging to date and build a relationship with someone who is a whole new world of different from you, it is best to stay true to who you are. The person is attracted to you for who you are, not for what he or she may expect you to be.
Your differences might be more glaring than your physical looks, but if you are both true to yourself, your honesty to each other and to your relationship will allow you to enjoy and value what you have between you. While dating someone from a different race may be quite a challenge, in the end, it will still fall back on you and the person you are dating. It is not some form of a political statement or some kinky fetish. It is really just about two people attracted to each other who are willing to see if they have what it takes to make something last forever.
Photo: One HD Wallpaper Author : Joanne Davidson is a seasoned writer who enjoys creating helpful articles and interesting stories. She has worked with several clients across different industries such as advertising, online marketing, technology, healthcare, family matters, and more.
She is also an aspiring entrepreneur who is engaged in assisting other aspiring entrepreneurs helping property owners who encounter problems with the vacancy of their buildings.
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