My friend…let's call her Jane…has a dating dilemma that is so cute and funny and…unusual. We've been texting and talking about it a lot lately, and, I kid Readers, what should Jane do? Have you ever dated a neighbor? Weigh in. She'll be reading your advice! xo, Sarah. P.S. Come say hi: Facebook , Twitter , and Instagram ! Keywords: dating. dating after divorce. friendship.
By: Melissa King Maybe he's the new guy in town, or perhaps you have lived next to him for years. Whatever the situation, you're thinking about dating your neighbor. Because you live so close to him, dating becomes a special situation filled with benefits, as well as challenges. If the two of you can work through complications that arise, you are much more likely to make your romance last. It may be obvious, but living so close to your romantic interest can be a definite benefit.
Instead of having to drive to her house, you can simply walk to her home. This cuts down on wasted time and gas. You will also be able to spend more time together. On the other hand, if you get into an argument, you are very likely to have to see the neighbor again, even if you would rather not.
You and your neighbor chose to live in the same neighborhood, so you probably have a few things in common. Additionally, you both have the same neighbors, and possibly friends, so planning parties and get-togethers is fairly simple. If you have lived next to your neighbor for a while, you may have already become friends. If so, you won't need to spend your first date sitting nervously as you and he struggle to come up with something interesting to say.
When you date someone who lives next door to you, you are likely to see much of what goes on in her life. This helps you get a better idea of what the person is truly like, and whether you would be compatible if things get serious. And your relationship is likely to get serious more quickly, since you'll be seeing each other often. If you do decide to move in together, all you will need to do is decide which person's house you will live in, then move your belongings next door.
If your partner lives next door to you, it isn't as easy to have a little bit of time for yourself. You may feel obligated to come over or have your partner come over all the time, since it's so easy to do so. Additionally, since you probably spend most of your time together, you will learn intimate details about the person you may rather not know at first.
You might feel "smothered," or think that your neighbor is always keeping tabs on you. Unless one of you moves after breaking up, you're going to see the person quite often. This can be very upsetting and uncomfortable, especially if you see the person with his new romantic interest. You may be so upset by this that you feel it's time to move, even if your home is otherwise perfect for you. And if you were friends with the person before the breakup, afterward, you may no longer be.
Melissa King began writing in 2001. She spent three years writing for her local newspaper, "The Colt," writing editorials, news stories, product reviews and entertainment pieces. She is also the owner and operator of Howbert Freelance Writing. King holds an Associate of Arts in communications from Tarrant County College.
best dating your neighbor advice - The Best Dating Tips and Relationship Advice: 15 Life
I used to have a really hot neighbor. She was divorced. I remember the first time I saw her. I pulled into my driveway, and there she was talking to somebody, a guy I hadn’t seen before.
I made that crumpled up face we do with pouted lips and a furrowed brow, half closing one eye while deep in thought, slowly nodding my head up and down and saying “hmm…” I figured it was her boyfriend, but I found out later it was her brother.
Lucky me! I made it a point to introduce myself, and we became friends. We would hang out and chat late into the night, or she would need help doing things around the house occasionally. I really enjoyed spending time with her. There was always an underlying sexual tension, though, until one day when we decided to act on it.
From that moment on, we became neighbors with benefits. Even during a period when I had , we would hook up occasionally. I found out there are some great advantages to having a neighbor with benefits: You’re sitting home alone. There’s not much on TV, and you’ve given up on Facebook. You decide to go to the local swingers club, but it’s Tuesday night and it’s closed. So you call your neighbor and invite her over to watch a movie and more. Or she is sitting home alone, feeling lonely on Wednesday night, and sends you a text message to see if you want to come over.
Either way, you can’t beat the convenience of being 100 feet away. If your neighbor with benefits , then you’ve got someone you can talk to about your experiences in the lifestyle. You can talk about the horrible date you had last night or the party you are going to tomorrow. It’s always nice to have someone to confide in about feelings and emotions that we experience with people we are dating.
My neighbor and I were friends first, so I felt comfortable running things by her. It was nice getting a woman’s perspective on things. You’re baking a cheesecake for Thanksgiving and realize you are out of sugar. It’s after 10 p.m., and the stores are closed. What will you do? Walk over to your neighbor’s and see if you can borrow some sugar. If you’re lucky, you might get more than the kind of sugar you need for the recipe.
Being able to help each other out with things like recipe ingredients or painting a bedroom are what having a neighbor is for. Add casual sex into the mix and voila … what a recipe! The familiarity and compatibility of knowing you and your neighbor are there for each other without all of the emotional baggage that a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship might bring is very liberating.
It’s comforting when you know the other person and what his or her likes and dislikes are, and vice versa. Hooking up with someone new can be stressful, so not having to deal with that stress when you want casual sex is great! You don’t have to drive far. In fact, you don’t have to drive at all. The convenience of being right next door can’t be beat.
Who wants to drive 45 minutes to a play partner’s house at 2 a.m. only to drive back home early the next day?
I’ve decided not to hook up in the past after thinking through the long drive in the morning during rush hour, but the nights when my neighbor would call at 2 a.m. wanting to hook up, I’d be right there. I would give my girlfriend a kiss and then walk on over. She didn’t have to worry because I was right next door, and then when I came back home, we could talk about the experience and . Whether you’re single or part of a couple, having a neighbor who’s as open-minded as you can be carefree, exciting and tons of fun.
Photo sources: Amazon.com, Bustle.com, JordanKranda.com, FunAstrology.Tumblr.com, BetweenArtAndLife.com, IsThisWhyImStillSingle.com. About The Author John Melfi is in an open relationship with his wife, Jackie. Together they are the driving force behind some of the most well-known swingers clubs in the world. John and Jackie recently were featured in an ABC News Nightline special report called “Getting ‘Naughty in N’Awlins’: Inside a New Orleans Swingers Convention.” They also coach couples on the lifestyle and frequently blog on the topic.
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Dating a neighbor can be tricky. While there are advantages to dating someone who lives within such close proximity, a certain amount of risk is involved.
If and when things go sour, avoiding the other person will be difficult. Need more persuading as to why you should reconsider dating someone in your complex or building? Consider the following reasons. When the Relationship Goes Bad, There’s Nowhere to Hide It’s advisable to avoid dating your neighbor for the same reasons you shouldn’t date a co-worker.
You never know whether or not the relationship will work out. While things start out fine in the beginning, the situation could become very awkward if and when the relationship goes bad. If you and a co-worker have a nasty break, going to work and seeing that person on a daily basis becomes awkward, if not painful. If you and your neighbor break up, you’re still likely to run into that person frequently, making hanging around at home less desirable.
For most people, breaking off a dating relationship is best when you don’t have to worry about running into that person too often. Adding home or work into the mix is never a good idea. If nothing else, the prospect of the relationship ending is reason enough to rethink dating someone with whom you share such close quarters. Even if the Relationship Is Good, So Is Having Some Space Living close to one another certainly is convenient, but it can also become constricting.
It’s easy to spend all of your time with someone when they live twenty feet away. Time you may normally spend doing things on your own or with other friends fades, many times without you even realizing it.
Also, while the quantity of time spent together increases, the quality diminishes over time. Having some space from the person you’re dating can improve the relationship and make it more likely to last.
You Lose Some Privacy Even when you’re not together, you can see what’s going on with the neighbor you’re dating. You’ll know when he or she is home when you see his or her car parked outside. You might even be able to hear his or her voice in the hallway even when you’re spending time by yourself in your own place.
It may not seem like a big deal, but these are things you normally wouldn’t even think about were you dating someone who lived on the other side of town (or at least not in the same neighborhood!) And remember, it goes both ways. Are you comfortable knowing the person you’re dating can keep tabs on you? After time, the reality of it all could become a little too close for comfort.
You may learn more about the person than you wanted to know in a much shorter time period. It’s not to say you shouldn’t date your neighbor, but you should be mindful of what you’re getting into.
There’s always a good possibility that the relationship will work out, but you have more to lose if it doesn’t. _______________________________________ Rachael Weiner: I’m a communications professional for a non-profit, which financially necessitates my status as an apartment dweller. Constantly “on-the-go,” I’ve resided in five different apartments across the United States over the past five years. Roommate issues, budgeting, organizing and handling problem neighbors are my specialty.
March 03, 2011 at 1:55 pm, said: i know the feeling , i had this problem . the guy i was dating lives right next to me . his window is facing mine , i have to keep my blinds close it is a huge mistake dating a neighbor . we did not last and it feels like hell . i get uncomforable when i run into me. never know what to say .
and i always have to pass his house everyday . because he live right next to me . and it sucks, i wish this feling will go away , what is funny we lived next door for eachother for five yrs and did not know it •
Why You Could Never Date The Guy Next Door [There's No Place Like Home]