Our 6 Most Embarrassing Stories from Dating. First dates. That inaugural hurdle. As the social anxiety clouds our judgement we can say and do some astoundingly stupid things. It’s only natural. We asked some friends, coworkers and strangers what their single most disaster date was. Here are six of our favorite embarrassing stories from dating. The Schadenfreude is strong in this one… 1. pet semetary. Sean, 24. My first date I ever went on was disastrous. Between the inexperience and the nerves I had very little to say so she did most of the talking. She mentioned a cat that had recently died a .
Most millennial women have gathered around a brunch table or dirty bar to discuss the Big Questions that come with dating. You know the ones I mean—the ones we all experience (sometimes over and over) but for which we can, for some reason, never really find a single, works-every-time answer. But still, we can never get enough wisdom, ideas, and theories that can help us navigate those inevitable relationship quandaries. To give you some important tools for your adulting arsenal, we canvassed women for the dating questions that they’ve never quite figured out.
Then we reached out to experts for their input. We discovered that, while there may not actually be a one-size fits-all answer to our most earnest questions, we do have some A-plus advice that will at least shine a brighter light on the murkiest (and at times embarrassing) dating questions.
On Pursuit Q: “How much should I pursue a relationship? How much should I hold back? How to answer: Should I text him or her, or wait to be texted — and for how long?
–Taylor, 28, New Jersey A: “Don’t play games. Be yourself. If you’re not sure who that self is, or what you want in life and relationships, then focus on finding out, rather than texting strategies.
Think about it: If you haven’t figured out who you are, how can you find someone who’s the right a match? When you come from an authentic place, no matter how you communicate with people you’re dating, you’re acting out self-respect, rather than a place of fear.
If you like someone, you can show that person. And at the same time, always have your own life filled with friends, passions, and hobbies. I think there’s a difference between ‘she’s hard to pin down and get a date with’ because she has a full life versus ‘she’s playing games and being coy.’ Your behavior — texting and otherwise — shouldn’t be centered around another person, and how you hope or fear they’ll perceive you.
And ultimately, at the end of the day, you should choose to spend time with someone because you want to be with that person — not because you can’t live without that person.” –, Ph.D. On Being Pursued Q: “How much effort is enough effort to receive?
How do you know when it’s the right balance? If a person likes you, will he or she really do anything, or do whatever what it takes to be with you — or are people sometimes just busy with other life things and not prioritizing relationships?” –Rose, 26, Queens A: “You have to ask yourself: Do I want someone who makes their relationship a priority?
If the answer is yes, then he or she should be making efforts to be in touch regularly and clearly stating when they want to see you and making that happen — not to mention making it clear how much they like spending time with you. If they really like you, they’ll want to be with you, and their efforts will match. Let people show you who they are and what their priorities are based on their actions, not just their words. Remember, people generally show the best side of themselves during courtship, when they’re out to impress and before they’ve gotten too comfortable. Try to project out and think about what it’ll be like when things get more difficult or less exciting — as life tends to do.
If they don’t make efforts in the beginning, it’s not going to improve later.” –, PsyD STYLECASTER/Getty Images MORE: On Being Ghosted Q: “Why did he or she ghost?
How can I avoid being ghosted on?” –Every single girl we asked for questions A: “First of all, recognize that being ghosted doesn’t define who are you, but rather says more about the person that’s ghosting — and it’s nothing good!
Don’t attempt to mind-read and create a story about why the person is ghosting. Accept that, ultimately, you don’t know why. Tolerating the unknown is difficult in any context — especially when it comes to dating, when you’re excited about someone — but do your best to try to tolerate the uncertainty and ambiguity. Because that’s far preferable, and much healthier, than making up a story about what’s wrong with you.” –Schaffer On Text Interpretation Q: “Are there any general rules when it comes to reading the tone of a text?
How can you avoid misunderstandings?” –Maya, 25, Manhattan A: “First rule of thumb: No drunk texting! That’s never a good idea, as you know if you’ve ever done it. Get one of those apps that has safety measures to prevent you from doing so, or, better yet, don’t get so drunk that it’s a regular risk! Secondly: Put off today what you can do tomorrow.
Not literally — I don’t mean wait a day to respond to messages to appear mysterious — but in other words, if you’re not sure how you want to respond yet, put down your phone and ruminate for awhile before sending a message.
In this digital age, the concept of empathy sometimes gets lost on the screen. In texting, think about what you would like to hear/read via text. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think about how s/he would feel reading your text. And sometimes, if there’s a pattern of misunderstandings — some people are better at texting than others — just suggest meeting in person or hopping on the phone to talk about anything important, rather than risking misinterpretation or unnecessary drama.” –Schaffer On Finances Q: “How should we split things if my S.O.
makes more money than I do? How do we keep it fair?” A: “Money is harder to talk about than sex. More important than the dollar amount that each partner pays is their intent. I think it’s important to treat each other well. That might mean that the person with the lower income pays for drinks when the higher income partner pays for the pricier dinner. And all offerings should be sincere — so don’t offer to pay just to ‘test’ if someone’s generous or cheap.
Honestly offer what you can. For more advice on the subject of money and dating, check out .” –Sommers MORE:
best embarrassing dating stories blog - Most Embarrassing First Date Stories
Ok, it was late one thursday nite. Me and all of my buddies were getting drunk, well i got so drunk i passed out on the couch at my buddies house. Next thing i know, a women is tapping me on the shoulder telling me to wake up.
I didnt have any idea who she was, so i sat up to find out who tapped me on the shoulder - and found out i was completely naked on the ground in front of the biggest mall in Louisiana!! I was so embarrassed, I didnt know what to do, I had to walk inside the mall naked and use the phone to call someone to pick me up.
My friends thought it would be funny .... This story always comes up at parties if i'm around old friends... I was 17 and at a party in a garage. Lots of underage drinking was taking place. As the amount of alcohol consumed went up, common sense went down. It is worth noting that this garage was not attached to a house and had no electricity. There were plenty of candles to keep the place lit (which is why there is a new garage in the same spot, but that is another story).
As the night continued, the guys in the room were all competing for the gals attention. Metaphoric pissing contests began. "I can drink more than him.." .... Alright, Me and my Boyfriend are always playing pranks on eachother (he's got an awesome sense of humor, that's why I love him!) but then one day I nearly killed him for a prank that nearly got me expelled.
He had this remote toy for his cat that would vibrate at the push of a button on a small remote. Well this toy could be taken apart and still work, the vibrating part is about the size and width of a quarter... Well somehow he had slipped it in the little pouch part on the inner part of my panties, I put them on and I knew I felt something (This pair is really tight, I think a size too .... A group of my close friends and I had decided to go white water rafting for the weekend; but because of various things the group came down to myself and three girls.
Ok, one guy traveling with three girls can be kind of strange but I had had a major crush on one of them for more than two years and thought this might be a chance to connect with her.
Of the other two, one was a friend of my crush and I; and the other was the twin sister of my crush. When we got to the rafting company, we ended up with our own raft and guide; so it was just the five of us in a raft for seven. Not a problem, .... I am a 25 year old girl. When I was about 16 I always treated my 12 year old brother like crap. One day he decided to strike back and he did.
One time during summer vacation I came home drunk about 430 in the morning just before our parents woke up to go to work.
Just as luck would have it my brother was awake and saw me sneak in the house. Anyways, I wokeup about midmorning to see him and 2 of his friends looking down at me and I had nothing on! He had cut off my bra and panties while I was sleeping, took away my blanket and called his 2 friends over, and they saw everything there was to ....
My dating life is one that is filled with the most embarrassing dating stories, mind-bending torture, and batsh*t craziness. I will be the first to admit that part of it is my fault; I .
Part of it is also my fault because I did what I could to push some away. Between all the horrible , I know for a fact that at least some of these situations will make you feel better about your dating life. 1. One of my exes said downright idiotic things. I swear to all that is holy, I’ve had a guy tell me that my eyes were as green as lemons. When he realized that lemons weren’t green, he changed the metaphor to roses...
because roses are more romantic. I was hoping for an intellectual, here. This was not what I got. 2. I almost got arrested for listening to him. I hate to say it, but this has happened multiple times with me. I had one idiot jump the turnstyle and get me to do it; I ended up paying a $100 fine. Another time, I had the idiot driving me home... while drunk. (I blame myself.) I should’ve dated better, more logical men. 3. I've had several people get arrested in the middle of our date.
Yes, this has happened to me, too. Seems that me getting almost arrested for dating a guy mid-crime leads to my date getting arrested.
Amazing, isn’t it? RELATED: 4. His ex threatened me. I hate to say this, but I’ve dealt with this way too many times to count on one hand. There are a LOT of women out there who have Jocasta Syndrome and a lot of guys out there with a palpable Oedipus Syndrome. There have been at least three or four times where my exes had moms who had angry girlfriend-type outbursts upon hearing that I was dating their son.
After a while, I realized it was for the best if they continued to “have” their sons. (Yes, it felt that bad.) 6. He had a psychotic break. Because nothing tells you that you’re meant to be better than a growling, howling man of 23 years of age. The important take away from this is that — primarily because they are meant to protect me from my exes. I played along until they were clearly “satisfied” with the level of lunacy they were displaying. All I could remember thinking was, “This is my life now,” and “I can never watch Inuyasha again.” RELATED: 8.
He puked during a date. I had one idiot and he ended up vomiting in the middle of karaoke. Of course, this sh*t happens to me. Why wouldn’t it? 9. I also puked during a date. Happened to me twice, shortly after I got dumped by my ex-fiances. A guy who was into me proposed to me during one really bad date. People cheered, I calmly walked over to him, grabbed the engagement ring, put it on, threw up, and walked away — all while people were telling me what a great guy he was.
10. He had a poodle-squeezing moment. I had one ex who owned a poodle. We never had sex until that night. I burst into laughter after he orgasmed 20 seconds after he got it in. He reacted by grabbing his pet poodle, making squeaking noises, and rolling around in his bed saying “I’m lame,” while grabbing his pet poodle.
The poodle made whimpering noises while he rolled in bed with it during the “lame” moments of the date, for what it’s worth. I walked away after the first 15 minutes of it. Nothing wrecks your self-esteem more than having a guy who doesn’t feel like he should see you sober the first time around. Trust me on that. RELATED: 13. I also dated an aspiring rapper who was so bad in bed that I got bored and kicked him out of my room.
Yes, I hate oral sex. Yes, I told him this multiple times. He started singing during our sexual encounter (I kid you not!) and I got fed up and booted him out of my room because he kept going down on me. Yes, I kicked him in the face, too, because he wouldn’t get away from my vagina even when I told him to stop. Also, his singing sucked and it made me happy I kicked him. . This happened because my date decided that nothing impresses a girl like eating brussels sprouts.
He had IBS and hadn't slept in 48 hours. Somehow, this meant that I'd be amazed by him eating food he was basically allergic to. This ended with him sh*tting himself on the corner of 34th street and 5th. I asked him if he was okay. He replied, "F*ck my life into pieces, this is my Chinese fork." Yes, drugs might have been involved.
No, I couldn't see him as long-term material after seeing him sh*t himself in public. Did I mention that he also started meowing at the Punjabi music in the taxi shortly before he sh*t himself? No? That happened too. I just want you to know that your dating life isn't that bad.
16. I threw up on him.
My Embarrassing Online Dating Story