Best funny dating one liners ever heard

best funny dating one liners ever heard

Of course, each of our favorite characters in these has a special catchphrase which makes us smile, and we can’t say that a single character is funnier than the other, but we’ve decided to take out some of the best one-liners we’ve heard, mix them up with some of the best catchphrases ever heard in sitcoms and deliver them Although our younger audience has probably only heard for Frasier through online comments, the truth is that the show is one of the best sitcoms to ever be shown on TV. Although almost every single line from the show is a great joke, the infamous phrase from Neils Crane played by David Hyde Pierce will make us giggle every time. So, what did her eyes say? “No Soup For You!”

best funny dating one liners ever heard

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best funny dating one liners ever heard

best funny dating one liners ever heard - 58 Best & Funny Chat

best funny dating one liners ever heard

Hello fellow daters and boy do I have a treat in store today! Ever wondered how to approach a beautiful half naked woman and not be laughed away? Well, it just so happens that the girls over at have pretty much heard them all and are being kind enough to share the 3 best pick up lines ever heard by their strippers! The Best Pick Up Lines Ever Heard By A Stripper Contents • • • • • • • The Strippers at Bad Bunny confesses the best pickup lines they have ever heard Okay guys, as you can imagine, being a stripper we have some very interesting nights to say the least, and most of those night include at least half the guys trying to hit on us.

Now most of these attempts they fail….and fail hard, but don’t feel too bad guys there is always a few shining lights that come through with some witty line or charm, that’s why the girls at Bad Bunny have decided to confess the 3 best pickup lines they have ever heard….get your note pads ready boys these you don’t want to miss. Dizzy Heights 1. I was doing just your run of the mill show at a bachelor party with a few other girls when one of the party guest came over and said “gosh your tall, is the air fresher up there?” now to put this into context I am over 6 foot with heels on, and that pickup line was hell of a lot better than “do you play basketball”…….yes I know it wasn’t anything special but it made me laugh, never heard it before and the guy was really sweet Let me dance for YOU 2.

I was topless waiting at a boat party one sunny afternoon, it was packed fully of guys and girls and had an awesome vibe………I was going around offering lap dances for different guest, when one of the party goers I asked said nah F@#^ that ill give you a dance, that’s when he placed me down and gave the most uninspiring male lap dance ever. Non the less it had me in stitches, plus what guy has the balls to do that, I defiantly gave him my number.

Errr… Hi? 3. Now normally whenever any guy drops a pickup line on me I just roll my eyes and keep on moving but one time when I was filling in on a strip club job, this one guys said “ hi” yep believe it or not the best pick up line I have ever heard on the job is Hi. Now it wasn’t that word that did it for me (not like ever guy that says hi to me I am going to fall head over heels for) but more the way he said it, can’t really put my finger on it but it was full of confidence which filled me with confidence.

So yeah I chatted to him for like 20 minutes and needed up giving him my number. Okay guys based on these 3 different stories from some of our Bad Bunnies experiences there are a few critical elements that are needed in order to impress a professional dancer.

Humour If you’re not funny or can’t at least bring some fun and amusement into a girl’s life keep moving. Oh and it’s not like we expect you to be Kevin Hart, have you seen the shit us girls laugh at……….the bar isn’t set very high fellas.

Be Unexpected Us bunnies have seen it all……I mean ALL of it, so don’t expect us to be impressed when you come round with the same half-hearted story or approach like every other guy. Be a little creative, think outside the box and you will defiantly get our attention. Confidence The third element to success with a Bad Bunny is confidence, like the 3rd story highlighted it’s not always what you say but how you say it.

Oh and when we say confidence don’t get it confused with money, success or whatever external thing makes you feel like a man………..all girls, not just these Bunnies want true inner confidence, anything else just won’t do. We hope this article has helped you, next time we are out on the job we expect a lot more charming men 😉 Well there you have it… the next time you find yourself in front of a stripper don’t go fooling around trying to be clever and you might just land yourself an unexpected date.

Happy Dating, The Frequent Dater

best funny dating one liners ever heard

Hopefully this list of Funny Dating One Liners ideas will inspire you. it really is one of the highlights of fun times Even though you are can't think of one yourself - check out these ideas and suggestions for great one liners. • I’m not saying I’m the type you can take home to your mom, but I’m definitely the type you can take home. Please do, actually, I’m homeless. • My love for you is like dividing by zero - it cannot be defined. • I’ve thought it over, and I’m okay with you keeping our yet-to-be-conceived baby.

• I feel silly asking you this, you probably get hit up by like fifty guys a day, I know you’re out of my league, and there’s no shot you’ll ever respond to this, but I just wanted to say, this is so stupid, you’re probably showing this to all your friends right now and laughing, my god, I am just not cut out for this… *sigh*… how was your day?

• Tell me about the biggest trauma in your life, give me your address, leave the door unlocked, I’ll be there in fifteen. • I took a girl out on a date the other night and I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere sexually, you know, because I was out of chloroform and rags. • You have the nicest syntax I've ever seen. • How ‘bout this Crimea and Russia situation? You know what else is a Crimea? That you and I aren’t getting a drink right now. • The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: 1.

a date, 2.his wife, 3. a better looking and richer male friend. • Just got a haircut without running it by my mom. NBD. • The other night I went out on a date with a guy who said he didn't like girls who were fragile or vulnerable… so I stabbed him.

• Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight. • Now what's on the menu? Me-n-u • You're so beautiful that last night you made me forget my pickup line. • Just enrolled for health insurance via Obamacare. Says it covers my dependents too. Any interest in filling that opening?

• Are you a singularity? Not only are you attractive, but the closer I get to you, the faster time seems to slip by. • I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked. • Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe • Whenever I’m about to have sex with a girl, I play it smart and just automatically assume she has herpes; because that way I don’t have to tell her about my herpes.

• -and trust me, that’s being generous. Hold on I have a call on the other line. Hello? • My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman; still, I've got another three goes. • I would hate it if you met an untimely demise prior to our first date… • I used to be afraid of relationships; someone would ask me out and I'd say, 'Just take my purse, don't hurt me!' • Hey cutie.

You look like my step-sister… I’ve always had a crush on her. • Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either. • I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number… she looked great going down the stairs. • If I freeze, it's not a computer virus. I was just stunned by your beauty. • FYI: I like being big spoon. But I’ve been known to do some little spoon, hehe. I’m also a fantastic fork.

Ugh, I’m out of forks right now. It’s so annoying because I don’t own a dishwasher. Technically I do, but it’s such a piece of shit. It doesn’t work. What were we talking about? • Excuse me? Do you work at Little Ceasars? Cuz Ur Hot And I'm Ready. • Hey, tits. One time I threw a football so hard, I almost dropped my whiskey, but I was able to catch it with my elephant trunk of a penis.

• My beard is growing its own beard. • Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?

• I can do some things now that I couldn't do when I was 17, like date high school girls. • I need more than 140 characters to tell you how beautiful you are. • The major concrete achievement of the women's movement in the 1970s was the Dutch treat. • I’m not much of a political guy, but I just had to let you know that after going through your pics, I’m rocking a pretty hard John Boehner.

• I like being married for two reasons: 1) I got really tired of dating, and 2) I got really tired of exercising. • Can’t believe we matched together. You’re so pretty, and physically speaking, I am simply hideous. I was cast to play the Hunchback in my school play, and we weren’t even doing The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

It was for The Lion King. They added a hunchback just for me. Anyway, how are you? • I like to date school teachers; if you do something wrong, they make you do it over again. • Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas? • I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms. • Guess who’s no longer on his parents cell phone bill…?

• Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? You must be because you are BeAuTi-ful. • To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent; she can't wait to disprove it.

• Your name must be Coca Cola, because you're so-da-licious • Standard rules dictate that you shouldn’t talk about politics or religion on a first date… I won Student Council President in seventh grade, same year that I had my Bar Mitzvah. I don’t play by the rules… • Babe, your cuter than a puppy at an animal shelter, Cuz i want to take you home!

• You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me. • Hey there, pretty lady. What should we order for breakfast the morning after our date? KEEP IN MIND, I AM GLUTEN INTOLERANT AND ALLERGIC TO NUTS. • Just sitting here drinking a beer and watching the game. Also, checking out an adult film on my laptop and calling my friend derogatory names. Impressed?

• I broke up with this girl… I can't tell you her real name, of course, because well, she didn't tell me her real name. • Ed, have you noticed that the older you get, the younger your girlfriends get? Soon you’ll be dating sperm. • Just wanted you to know that it doesn’t matter why you’re annoyed with your roommate right now, I agree with you 100% and am here for you.

• Have you ever been dating anyone, and you think they're normal, and all of the sudden, they start freaking out on you?… yelling, 'Untie me!' • A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick. • Your bedroom is such a mess… • I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around, and I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

• If you treat a girl like a dog, she’s going to piss on you. • I think I love you more than I’ve ever loved myself. • Ugh, my personal chef made lobster steaks again.

It’s like, how ‘bout a little variety, you piece of shit!? • Hilary Clinton really seems like she’s positioning herself to take a run at president in 2016. I’d like to position my groin to take a run at you. • Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible. • Do you know how to play pool? If not, I could seductively come up behind you and teach you. Full Disclosure: I’ve never actually played pool. • What’s the point of having a partner when we all die alone?

But, I guess, if there’s anyone I’d be okay with wasting away the rest of my life with, it’d be you. • Congratulations! Thank you for enrolling in a relationship with (your name). To continue receiving these messages, reply ‘HEY’. To unsubscribe, reply ‘FUCK OFF’. • You know how embarrassing it is to walk with a girl on a first date and see somebody with the same shirt as you on and they homeless?

• Sometimes I question why God allows bad things to happen to good people. For example, how have we never gone on a date? • How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is. • When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows. • Sometimes I feel like I could go missing for weeks before anyone even noticed. I’d definitely notice if you went missing, on account of your nice boobs.

• Hi, I'm writing a phone book, can I have your number? • I've dated men my age, younger than me and older and the only difference is the young ones are quicker at taking out the garbage. • Need help with a big decision should my new yacht have a helipad OR a tennis court sized hot tub OR an aboveground wine cellar filled with gold? • My fiancé and I are having a little disagreement; what I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no-expense-spared reception; what he wants is to break off our engagement.

• A man who was loved by 300 women singled me out to live with him… Why? … I was the only one without a cat. • I don’t give a holy hell what Oprah says, I refuse to acknowledge Wiccans as a political party. • I'm sorry I wasn't part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future? • Ya know what the difference is between you and an angel? I’ve never masturbated to a picture of an angel. • We would’ve made such a good couple. Real shame… • After looking at your pictures, my pants feel like Syria—a lot of unrest.

• Guys I’ve been meeting have the worst pickup lines, like: “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?” • I’d like to start a family, but you have to have a date first. • I'm dating again, which is very exciting… 'cause I'm married.

• We both know where this is heading. Let’s cut to the chase—call me an insensitive, self-involved, immature asshole and break up with me. • I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame.

That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted. • Are we simply romantically challenged… or are we sluts.

• If you had to commit genocide, what race of people would you do it to and why? • So exhausted. Been playing with my nephew and his new puppy in a flower patch all day while helping to feed the homeless.

• If the technology existed, do you think it would be ethical for scientists to clone you? And if so, do you think your clone would be down for a threesome? Bring it up to her casually. • Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed. • If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand. • The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!

• I curse in front of my parents… what the fuck are they gonna do about it? • My heart’s breaking over these bloody insurgencies around the world. I just wish there was more I could do, ya know? Do you like making out? • I love my mom, and my grandma, and my sister. I pretty much love and respect all women. Except for my Aunt Janice, she’s a dumb bitch. • You give me Epsilon, I give you Delta. Together, we find limits. •

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