Best funny dating story of all time

best funny dating story of all time

What are the best date night movies? That's a tricky question, because you've got your first date movies and your second date movies .and so on. This list of top films for date night includes a wide variety of different kinds of films that will hopefully make for an excellent evening of Dating Apps Worth Trying Funny Tweets That Capture Single Life What Not to Say to Single Folks Things Female Introverts Say on Dates Great Pick-Up Lines from Movies Great Movies About Being Single The Worst Ever Dating Shows Dating Tips from Michael Scott Go On, Date a Bitch. Photo: Getty Images. Best Movies The Greatest Date Movies of All Time Many of these films are some of the best romantic comedies of all time. These are the movies you really can't go wrong watching on date night.

best funny dating story of all time

Watching television has always provided us with a way to unwind. The sitcom is one of television’s oldest genres, and arguably the most effective when it comes to escaping the stresses of daily life. The situational comedy lets us trade in our troubles for the hijinks and hilarities of fictional characters we grow to love. Why cry about your problems when you can laugh at someone else’s? Below are the 30 best sitcoms of all time that stand out as the funniest TV to ever grace our screens.

And for more hilarity, here are. Seinfeld (1989 to 1998) Seinfeld is often the first that comes to mind when one thinks of sitcoms, mainly due to its immense popularity. Famously referred to as “the show about nothing,” Seinfeld perfectly executes the sitcom’s purpose: to bring a cast of characters to life that is flawed enough for audiences to fall in love with. And with that goal in mind, it’s certainly one of the best sitcoms of all time.

Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer find themselves in situations we all recognize, and like us, they handle them without grace. The writing is sharp, the storylines are relatable and specific, and the performances are brilliant.

It’s a perfect storm of comedy. And, just like every other perfectly-crafted comedy, it taught us some great life lessons along the way.

It’s true: Here are the . How I Met Your Mother (2005 to 2014) As the title implies, How I Met Your Mother is the recounting of how the main character, Ted Mosby, met his children’s mother.

Each episode is a story Ted tells his kids, all of which lead up to the titular moment of meeting their mother. The framing device sets this show apart from others of its ilk, and keeps the audience coming back so they too can figure out how Ted met his wife.

Plus, the humor in HIMYM is witty enough to be one of the most quotable shows, and broad enough to be a great background show to throw on while you’re doing other things. Ultimately, the fact that this show was able to stretch a love story over nine funny, quality seasons makes it one of the best sitcoms of all time.

To make your own love last through every season of life, here are . The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990 to 1996) The Fresh Prince of Bel- Air is usually referenced for its catchy theme song, but the show itself was simply brilliant. Will Smith starred as a fictionalized version of himself, charm and all. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was one of the few popular sitcoms at the time to star an African-American family, and it managed to do so without leaning too much on racial stereotypes.

It’s a staple of the 90’s, and a perfect show to watch a marathon of on a lazy Sunday. And for more good fun, check out the Will & Grace (1998 to 2006; 2017 to Present) One of the classics, Will & Grace is also notably groundbreaking. It premiered in 1998, and was one of the first mainstream shows to have a gay character star. Not only is Will gay, his character doesn’t fall into predictable, gay stereotypes.

The two supporting characters, Jack and Karen, are incredibly strong and bring most of the shows infamous biting comedic relief. As of last September, Will & Grace is back on air and it has not lost its charm after all these years. And for more TV gold, check out the Friends (1994 to 2004) Friends is the ultimate feel-good, easy-to-watch sitcom.

Who doesn’t love watching a group of friends go through ups and downs, date and break up and then date again? This show is infinitely re-watchable, perfect for a rainy day when you’re looking to feel nostalgic.

Friends will always be there for you. The Office (2005 to 2013) We’re currently experiencing the golden age of television, and The Office undoubtedly helped pave the way for this era.

One of the first popular shows to utilize the mockumentary style, The Office has gone down in history as one of the most clever sitcoms of all time. It has a large cast, and yet each character is fleshed out and hilariously distinct.

Admittedly, the show starts to fall apart a bit once Steve Carell leaves in season seven, but the seasons with him as the lead are strong enough to make this show one of the greats.

And for some great ways to rise the ranks in your office, here are the Black-ish (2014 to Present) This single-camera comedy is perhaps one of the best sitcoms on television today. Truthfully, sitcoms are seeing a decline in quality these days, but Black-ish is an exception. It’s the story of a dysfunctional, upper-middle-class African-American family, in which the jokes are poignant and themes are often culturally relevant.

It’s bright spot in today’s oversaturated TV market. The Simpsons (2009 to 2015) Let’s face it: Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are America’s true first family. You don’t become the longest-running scripted show in the history of television without amazing laughs, incisive cultural commentary, and truly lovable characters who stand the test of time.

And for more great TV coverage, here are the Frasier (1993 to 2004) A thirty-seven time Emmy winner, Fraiser is one of the most critically acclaimed sitcoms ever. The show was a spinoff of the beloved Cheers, and gave the people what they wanted: more Kelsey Grammer.

Grammer stars as Dr. Frasier Crane, whose brother, Dr. Niles Crane, falls in love with his father’s caretaker, Daphne Moone. Niles and Daphne share perhaps the most iconic will-they-won’t-they relationship, which spans seven seasons. Frasier is a timeless classic that delighted audiences and critics alike.

Arrested Development (2003 to 2006; 2013) Way ahead of its time, Arrested Development is arguably the smartest sitcom ever made. Its fast pace, effective use of narration, and clever callbacks made it different from anything else on television at the time. Unfortunately, audiences weren’t quite ready for its genius. The show was cancelled prematurely after only three seasons. The upside to this is that because the show knew it was being cancelled, it took more creative liberties in its final season.

Creator Mitch Hurwitz knew he had nothing to lose, and did whatever he wanted in the third season. Hilarity ensued. Eventually the show gained a cult following so substantial that the show was revived by Netflix in 2013.

Depending on whom you talk to, the the reboot was either a success or a disappointment. And for more TV hilarity, here are the The Office (UK Version; AKA, “the original”) (2001) A lot of people debate over which is funnier: the UK version of The Office or the US version of The Office. Our opinion is that both are funny in their own ways. The British version is great because it’s so…British.

The humor is as dry and bleak as you could ever hope. It’s only one season long, as the British are better at accepting when a show has run its course. It’s easy to binge in a short amount of time and well worth the watch. And for more British humor, here are the Scrubs (2001 to 2010) There are plenty of television dramas that take place in a hospital, but Scrubs brings us a comedy within those walls.

Hospitals are full of death and despair, and making that funny is no easy feat. Scrubs pulls it off, and gives us some tear jerking moments along the way. It has a lot of heart, which is one of the most essential ingredients in a sitcom.

And to make sure it doesn’t feel too corny, John C. McGinley’s character, Dr. Cox, is always there to bully every character with his brutal wit. The Golden Girls (1985 to 1992) The Golden Girls proves to audiences that sassy grandmas are the heroes we never knew we wanted. On paper, a show about four elderly women doesn’t sound all that exciting.

But when they are played by Betty White, Beatrice Arthur, Rue McClanahan, and Estelle Getty, that all changes. There’s something undeniably amusing about watching old women talk about taboo topics. The Golden Girls is another classic, and I’d be hard pressed to find someone who can watch an episode without cracking a smile. Modern Family (2009 to Present) One of the last shows to use the mockumentary style in an innovative way, Modern Family is as funny as it is socially significant.

As the title suggests, the show centers on characters that don’t fit into the conventional mold of a family. Between the three families in the show, there is adoption, re-marriage, gay marriage, and plenty of disfunction.

Aside from being hilarious, Modern Family also showcases alternative lifestyles in a way that encourages mainstream audiences to be more accepting and tolerant of these kinds of characters in real life. Television has the power to inform how viewers think, and Modern Family is one of the shows that steps up to the plate in those regards. And for more great Hollywood coverage, don’t miss the 3rd Rock From The Sun (1996 to 2001) 3rd Rock From The Sun has a more absurd plot than most sitcoms, which is part of what makes it so fun.

The premise is that a group of aliens are sent to earth, disguised as a humans, to experience and report back to their kind. A lot of the humor comes from observing humankind in all of its ridiculous, vile glory.

Plus, there’s a great cast, including John Lithgow, Kristen Johnston, and a baby-faced Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 30 Rock (2006 to 2013) After working as the head writer at SNL, Tina Fey brought her talents and firsthand experience to her own series, 30 Rock.

Based on her time at SNL, 30 Rock is a show within a show. Fey’s writing is spot on, and her offbeat humor shines in this sitcom made for broadcast. 30 Rock has an exquisite cast, sharp joke writing, fast paced energy, and the perfect amount of absurdity all come together in this unforgettable, very quotable comedy.

All in the Family (1971 to 1979) All in the Family is notable for being one of the first sitcoms to use its platform to speak out on social issues. It dared to tackle topics that had previously been thought of as too controversial for television. Issues such as racism, abortion, rape, and homosexuality were brought up in a comedic way, influencing the way other sitcoms on this list use the medium as a way to spark important conversations.

Because it was so ahead of its time, it lands safely on our list of best sitcoms ever. Cheers (1982 to 1993) Cheers is one of the most watched shows of all time, and that comes as no surprise.

It’s a feel-good sitcom with a simple premise: a group of friends hang out at a bar called Cheers. At the end of the day, most people want to feel as though they belong. Watching Cheers makes you feel like you’re there with the cast, where everybody knows your name. Who doesn’t love that? I Love Lucy (1951 to 1957) Lucille Ball was a comedic genius and this show served as her stage.

She was a master of physical comedy, and her performance as an overly ambitious woman trying to make it in show business was flawless.

One of the first sitcoms ever made, it remains one of the best sitcoms, too. The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970 to 77) It was the first-ever sitcom driven entirely by a woman, and told story of a single, 30-something woman who is trying to navigate the world on her own—and on her own terms.

Best of all: The show, essentially a workplace sitcom set in a local TV station, was utterly hilarious. Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000 to 2011; 2017 to Present) If watching characters get caught up in awkward situations is what you find amusing, then Curb Your Enthusiasm is for you, my friend. Creator and star Larry David manages to weave together comedic gold yet again for his second successful sitcom.

Most of the humor stems from unlucky, socially awkward predicaments that have come to be known as “Larry David moments.” The cast is made up of David’s network of funny friends, and a lot of the dialogue is improvised. The improvisation makes for punchlines that don’t feel too predictable or formulaic. It’s always a delight when a joke comes as surprise, and that happens often in Curb. Veep (2012 to Present) Julia Louis-Dreyfus gives a stellar performance as Vice President Selina Meyers in this political satire.

Political humor — now more than ever — can feel undercooked if not done right. Veep manages to steer clear of obvious jokes and derivative characters while navigating the world of politics. Selina Meyers never reveals her party affiliation, which allows the show to poke fun at American politics as a whole, rather than honing in on one side. It’s a smart choice that makes for interesting commentary and accessible comedy. Happy Endings (2011 to 2013) The premise of Happy Endings is simple: six best friends hang out in Chicago.

It’s never been all that popular, and personally I think it’s highly underrated. The series was cancelled after only three seasons, just as it was starting to figure itself out.The premise probably didn’t feel exciting at the time, and was too similar to Friends for people’s liking. That’s fair, but the characters themselves are more three-dimensional than most sitcoms about a group of friends.

A lot of the jokes lend themselves to acute observational humor, mostly about the chaotic world of modern society. Happy Endings makes you laugh before it makes you think, but it does pull of both. Unfortunately, it ended too soon. The IT Crowd (2006 to 2013) Looking for a workplace comedy with easy jokes that don’t feel like your dad wrote them?

The IT Crowd has got you covered. The show isn’t much more than funny shenanigans three coworkers get into while working in the IT department. It’s simple, and while you may sometimes be able to guess where a joke is heading, the delivery usually makes up for it. Don’t get me wrong, the writing isn’t bad, it’s just not trying to be anything more than funny. And sometimes that’s exactly what you want from a sitcom. Plus, all three leads have a unique, distinct relationship with one another, and that helps bring the show together.

Malcolm in the Middle (2000 to 2006) As a whole, Malcolm in the Middle is super solid, but it’s also on this list for its perfectly executed pilot. Comedy pilots are difficult, because comedic payoffs usually rely on the audience being familiar with the characters and knowing how their quirks would cause them to feel in certain situations.

Obviously, those moments are hard to do when an audience is just being introduced to the cast of characters. The Malcolm in the Middle pilot does it all beautifully. The characters and premise are introduced quickly and effectively, and the episode never forgets to be funny. I won’t give any more away, you’ll have to watch it for yourself.

That 70’s Show (1998 to 2006) Both a sitcom and a period piece, That 70’s Show is really funny if you, like the characters most of the time, are really high. It has all of your usual tropes: the nice guy, the bitchy, hot girl, the overly harsh dad, the doting mother, the foreign exchange student who delivers one liners with an accent, and the unbelievably stupid friend played by Ashton Kutcher. The characters aren’t anything new, but the show does dish out some social commentary without feeling too heavy-handed or agenda driven.

At its core, That 70’s Show is a funny, easy to watch sitcom about a group of teens doing dumb, teen stuff, and failing to get away with it. I think we can all relate to and find the humor in that. M*A*S*H (1972 to 1983) Consider this: M*A*S*H, the sitcom about a American surgical unit in the Korean War, lasted three times as long as the war itself.

The show was pure comedy gold, filled with gallows humor, deft commentary, and sexual tension. It was so good—and so beloved—its finale drew upwards of 125 million viewers.

For perspective: This year’s Super Bowl barely cracked 100 million viewers. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005 to Present) It’s Always Sunny is unique in that its characters have zero redeeming qualities, but are still a delight to watch.

Creating an ensemble of disgusting idiots is hard to do without completely turning off your audience. Mac, Dennis, Charlie, Dee, and Frank are all terribly offensive, but because the writing is so carefully and cleverly crafted, they are not obnoxious. It has been renewed for a fourteenth season, which is exceptional for a sitcom. You know a show has merit when it can keep an audience coming back to watch five horrible people say and do terrible things for fourteen seasons.

If you find this show hilarious, check out the. Fresh Off the Boat (2015 to Present) Fresh Off the Boat feels like a traditional sitcom that had no trouble adapting to modern taste. It’s a fish out water, family comedy with topical humor and fast-paced joke writing. It’s also the first American sitcom to star an Asian-American family. The amount of jokes per scene are impressive, and they pretty much always land.

Fresh Off the Boat is as funny as it is smart, and as heartfelt as it is current. To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, to sign up for our FREE daily newsletter !


best funny dating story of all time

best funny dating story of all time - 18 Funny Dating Stories That Will Make You Cringe With Embarrassment


best funny dating story of all time

Illustration by John Cuneo At Reader’s Digest, we’re always on the lookout for the best quotes ever uttered. We fill our buckets with stirring quotes that , wise , classic , epic quotes that and, simply, happy quotes that . Today, we are tickled to bring you this: the 75 funniest quotes of all time. Enjoy. Part 1: Laughs from Gaffes Bypass the remark you’d always regret in favor of the version you’ll shamelessly repeat… Instead of saying this … “I thought Europe was a country.” —Kellie Pickler, country music singer … Say this: “If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.” —Stephen Colbert Instead of saying this… “It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.” —Donald Trump (retweeting a Benito Mussolini quote) … Say this: “The lion shall lie down with the calf, but the calf won’t get much sleep.” —Woody Allen Instead of saying this … “I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.” —Tara Reid, actress … Say this: “My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.” —Billy Connolly, actor Instead of saying this … “I won’t go into a big spiel about reincarnation, but the first time I was in the Gucci store in Chicago was the closest I’ve ever felt to home.” —Kanye West, rap artist … Say this: “I don’t believe in reincarnation, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.” —Shane Richie, British actor Instead of saying this … “It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.” —Axl Rose, lead singer of Guns N’ Roses … Say this: “Bigamy is having one husband too many.

Monogamy is the same.” —Anonymous We bet you’ll also love these . Illustration by John Cuneo Part 2: Fight Ire with Fire Fend off a cruel or foolish declaration with a zinger that will have the Hamptons buzzing… Following an argument, an angry Lady Astor told Winston Churchill, “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Churchill snapped, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.” When Mick Jagger insisted that his wrinkles were actually laugh lines, jazz singer George Melly replied, “Surely nothing could be that funny.” A sports columnist recalled the story of a flight attendant who asked Muhammad Ali to fasten his seat belt.

Ali replied, “Superman don’t need no seat belt.” The flight attendant’s retort: “Superman don’t need no airplane either.” Seeing a male dog sniffing a female dog, the young daughter of Laurence Olivier asked Noël Coward what they were doing. Coward: “The one in front has suddenly gone blind and the other one has very kindly offered to push him.” When a fan asked Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart for tips on writing symphonies, the composer is said to have suggested, “Begin with some simple lieder and work your way up to a symphony.” “But Herr Mozart,” replied the fan, “you were writing symphonies when you were eight.” “Yes,” said Mozart.

“But I never asked anybody.” In the 1960s, Joe Pyne, one of the original shock jocks, apparently began an interview with Frank Zappa by saying, “So I guess your long hair makes you a woman.” Zappa responded, “So I guess your wooden leg makes you a table.” Katharine Hepburn so hated filming a movie with John Barrymore, she declared, “Mr.

Barrymore, I am never going to act with you again.” Barrymore replied, “My dear, you still haven’t.” Director/writer Kevin Smith told Tim Burton that Burton’s Planet of the Apes reminded him of a comic book he’d written.

Burton responded, “Everyone knows I never read comics.” Smith shot back, “That explains Batman.” An acquaintance walked past Algonquin Round Table member Marc Connelly and ran a hand over Connelly’s bald pate.

“That feels just as smooth and as nice as my wife’s behind,” he said. Connelly, running his own hand over his head, remarked, “So it does!” Leonard Nimoy was asked by a woman, “Are you aware that you [as Spock] are the source of erotic dream material for ladies around the world?” Nimoy’s reply: “May all your dreams come true.” [pullquote] “Live every week like it’s Shark Week!” —Tina Fey [/pullquote] Illustration by John Cuneo Part 3: Nine Things a Great Line Is Good For 1.

Advocating: “You know there’s a problem when you realize that out of the three Rs, only one begins with an R.” —Dennis Miller, comedian 2. Chiding: “To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.” —Oscar Wilde 3. Critiquing: “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” —Billy Wilder, director 4. Praising (and insulting): “She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.” —Bette Midler 5.

Creating hope: “Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.” —Nicole Hollander, cartoonist 6. Waxing philosophical: “Start every day with a smile and get over it.” —W. C. Fields (attributed) 7.

Looking inward: “I wish I had the confidence of the woman who boldly admits she’s the Miranda of her crew.” —Jessica Biel, actress 8.

Piety: “Want to know what God thinks of money? Look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker, writer 9. Summing up the world: “Karaoke is the great equalizer.” —Aisha Tyler, talk show host [pullquote] “They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.” —Clint Eastwood [/pullquote] Illustration by John Cuneo Part 4: Timed Lines The right line at the right time is a thing of beauty.

Memorize these tried-and-true replies for any situation… It’s Thanksgiving dinner, and your Luddite uncle Ralph is at it again about how science is bunk: “I have noticed that even people who claim everything is pre­determined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.” —Stephen Hawking, physicist “The only people who still call hurricanes acts of God are the people who write insurance forms.” —Neil deGrasse Tyson, astrophysicist “By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.” —Richard Dawkins, scientist “He was so narrow-minded, he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.” —Molly Ivins, author “I’ve come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have food in their mouths.” —Kenneth Cole, fashion designer A friend is considering getting married, and you have certain “insights” about the institution you’d like to communicate: “They say marriages are made in Heaven.

But so is thunder and lightning.” —Clint Eastwood “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell “Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.” —Butch Hancock, country musician “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” —Rod Stewart, rock star Someone is pressuring you to do better.

Time to lower the bar: “All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott, actor “When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn’t matter who’s president.” —Louis CK “Part of [the $10 million] went for gambling, horses, and women.

The rest I spent foolishly.” —George Raft, film star “I was going to sue for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.” —Charles Barkley, TV basketball analyst “I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.” —Johnny Carson A coworker asks your opinion of an insufferable boss. You’re happy to unload: “He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.” —Samuel Johnson, 18th-century author “Her only flair is in her nostrils.” —Pauline Kael, film critic “She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.” —Jean Webster, author “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” —Abraham Lincoln “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” —Henry Clapp, newspaper editor “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” —Isaac Asimov, science fiction writer [pullquote] “The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.” —Cher [/pullquote] Illustration by John Cuneo Part 5: Point/Counterpoint How to win the argument, switch sides, then win again… DOGS VS CATS Point: “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley, humorist Counterpoint: “Cats are smarter than dogs.

You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez, producer WINE VS BEER Point: “Wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.” —Benjamin Franklin Counterpoint: “Why beer is better than wine: human feet are conspicuously absent from beer making.” —Steve Mirsky, author DEMOCRATS VS REPUBLICANS Point: “The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove crabgrass on your lawn.” —P.

J. O’Rourke, writer Counterpoint: “The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then they get elected and prove it.” —P. J. O’Rourke, still a writer MEN VS WOMEN Point: “I’ve been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.” —Lee Grant, actress Counterpoint: “The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.” —Cher FICTION VS NONFICTION Point: “The difference between fiction and reality?

Fiction has to make sense.” —Tom Clancy, author Counterpoint: “Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain OPTIMISTS VS PESSIMISTS Point: “An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, ‘So far so good!’” —Anonymous Counterpoint: “The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.” —George Will, columnist BLONDES VS BRUNETTES Point: “I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb … and I also know that I’m not blonde.” —Dolly Parton Counterpoint: “It was a blonde.

A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.” —Raymond Chandler, author CRITICS VS ARTISTS Point: “He suffers from delusions of adequacy.” —Walter Kerr, critic Counterpoint: “Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.” —Brendan Behan, Irish author Part 6: Who Said It?

How well do you know your famous quotes? Take the quiz. 1) “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” 2) “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” 3) “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” 4) “If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?” 5) “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” 6) “They say you shouldn’t say anything about the dead unless it’s good.

He’s dead. Good.” 7) “Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.” 8) “The trouble with this country is that there are too many people going about saying, ‘The trouble with this country is …’” These are the ANSWERS: 1) Mark Twain; 2) Albert Einstein; 3) Helen Gurley Brown, former editor of Cosmopolitan; 4) Will Rogers; 5) Oscar Wilde; 6) Moms Mabley; 7) President John F.

Kennedy; 8) Sinclair Lewis


best funny dating story of all time

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