Here are the tell-tale signs of a catfish—or someone online who’s pretending to be someone they are not—and how best to approach the people you meet online that seem a little fishy A good offense will be your best defense. Check out their dating profile and make sure it looks like someone spent time on it. Google their name and check if they have social media accounts or anything else that suggests they are a real person. How to Use the Internet to Investigate Your Next Date, Coworker, or New Friend (Without Being… You want to know a little more about an internet date or a potential new hire at work, but you… Read more Read. Advertisement. With a little observation you can spot a lot of the most obvious red flags
From the : A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances. We all make jokes about serial killers and pervs prowling the web, but the far more likely risk is running into the ubiquitous online dating “catfish.” You spend an hour chatting with a Scarlett Johansson look-alike and then Joan Rivers saunter into the restaurant while you try to disappear into the upholstery.
So how to catch a catfish online? In the spirit of saving you a red-faced night of panic, praying you won’t see someone you know, here are some tips for making sure you don’t get “catfished” online”. 1. Know the Online Dating Catfish Warning Signs A few things to watch out for that might suggest a woman is misrepresenting herself: • Her pic looks a bit dated; this might be a sign it was taken just out of high school. • Only has one or two pics on her profile – let’s face it, women, especially the good-looking ones, love to get as many shots of their sweet mug online as possible.
• All photos are taken from strange angles that put her in the most flattering light. • She seems a little too eager relative to her market value (this can also be indicative of scams). 2. A Quick Research Strategy Social media is a great place to dig up the truth before agreeing to anything.
Dating profiles are sometimes limited, but most women, even the so-so ones, have tons of images plastered across social media. There are a few ways to go about getting this info: • Ask if she has Facebook. Friending women you just met can be a minefield sometimes, as it gives a little bit too much information and robs a lot of your “mystery.” So, consider setting up a second, limited-info account just for dating purposes, especially if there are photos on your account that might put you in a bad light.
Alternatively, scope out her profile without actually adding her, assuming her privacy settings allow doing so. • Search for the username that she’s using on her dating account.
People often use the same one across multiple accounts. • Do a Google image search using one or more of her pics and see if something comes up. • Facebook has a robust search feature. Try search strings like “Women named HER NAME who live in HER CITY” or “Women who live in HER CITY and work at HER EMPLOYER.” How you phrase the search obviously depends on what info you have.
• If you have her email address, you can also use that to search. 3. The Escape Plan In this department, take a cue from the ladies. Women with options are smart when it comes to leaving an out on dates. And it’s not entirely uncommon for them to instruct a girlfriend to phone about an hour or two into a date she’s unsure about.
The idea is that if she wants to make a graceful exit, she can say an emergency came up and she has to run. Won’t your date know you’re lying? Well, if she’s a catfish online dating, she’s probably not beating her dates away with a stick. On top of that, the idea behind the escape plan isn’t so much that she won’t suspect anything; it’s more about plausible deniability and allowing you both a chance to save face.
Remember, she’s the one who misrepresented herself; there’s nothing for you to feel guilty about. 4. How to Ask For and Get “The Truth” It’s not foolproof – some of these girls are just plain crazy – but sometimes straightforward is the best policy.
There are a few ways I’ve asked women for the truth in the past. One is to just come out and ask how legit her pics are. Frame it as wanting to “make sure you’re not a 65-year-old man named Harry,” but be clear that you expect an honest answer. Another tactic to catch a catfish online is telling her about a bad experience meeting a girl in the past who didn’t live up to her profile. If she’s also misrepresenting herself, chances are she’ll get nervous and give herself away or disappear.
You can also follow up the “story” by directly asking about her pics. Be sure to keep all this light-hearted. 5. When In Doubt, Head to Video Video is far more honest than photos, so it’s not a bad idea to get a woman on a quick video chat before you meet up. The two downfalls to this strategy is that it creates yet one more barrier to the meet-up and that if any awkwardness transpires she may disappear. Keep it short and sweet.
6. First Date Logistics With Disaster in Mind First dates with someone you met online should always be low-pressure. Never shoot for the whole dinner and a movie thing coming right out of the gate – that displays a bit too much investment in a woman you don’t know anyhow.
Something brief, like a cup of coffee or a happy hour cocktail, sends the signal that you won’t be hanging out long. Of course, most women intuitively know you’ll go somewhere else after the initial screening, but it gives you the opportunity to make an excuse if she shows up looking like Freddy Kruger.
This type of date also makes it more likely a good-looking woman will say yes. You might even throw in a white lie about having to meet your lawyer after.
Don’t let all this talk of man-eating online catfish scare you away from the rewards of meeting women on the web, but it doesn’t hurt to put some thought into this ahead of time. “Hope for the best but prepare for the worst,” as they say. With these simple tips, you can get out there flirting with your mind at ease. Want more help navigating the pitfalls of dating online? Or how about accessing a dating outsourcing team that can put your “lead-generation” on autopilot?
today. Beyond Borders is a writer and personal dating advisor who spends his time in the world's more rugged places, seeking adventure, chasing girls, and making questionable decisions whenever possible. He's a bit rough around the edges but has been known to take breaks from living life full throttle and surprise readers with the occasional wisdom bomb.
best internet dating warning signs of a catfish - How to Know if You're Being Catfished
When we’re wading through the online dating profiles, avoiding all the spammers and lovebots that aim to lure you to another site hoping you’ll subscribe to other services and consequently line scammers pockets…how do you also navigate the overwhelming amount of unknown fake profiles on the dating platforms or social media? Knowledge is powerful. Being aware that Catfish scams (and individuals) exist is most important. It will put you on guard when you come across anything that is mirroring these types of situations.
Read about the types of and in my posts. There are however, common tactics used by most Catfish. You can help get through the minefield by checking out a few red flags: Who’s photo? If their profile picture looks staged, like it should be in a catalogue or looks like a model, it probably is. Actors from other countries are also popular choices as they are mainly unknown over here.
Run the image through a search engine like ‘Tineye’ or Google reverse image search. Screen grab the image, crop any outside bits off if necessary and then upload it. If it comes back showing the picture on lots of websites, you know it has been used elsewhere and is not a personal photo. Just remember that some fraudsters may be using another person’s social media photo and these won’t necessarily show in a reverse image search.
Having only 1 photo is another little flag. If questioned and they respond with ‘I can only upload onto Whatsapp right now… ‘ be aware. Any military profile pictures should be viewed with caution too. This is one of the most common cover stories for scammers.
Let’s exchange numbers! They’ll try and move the conversation onto a different platform, usually something like Whatsapp, Kik or Email. This is for a few reasons. Scammers know that anti scam technology software on the sites will likely pick up trends in conversation and shut down the profile.
If they move you away they can continue undetected. Other reasons that a personal Catfish will want you off the app, is so they can continue grooming targets without the risk of you catching them. Once you’ve met up or have confirmation they are genuine then you may feel more comfortable to talk to them on another channel. But don’t feel pressured to give them your phone number if you don’t feel ready. You are so open an honest! Catfish profiles (or messages sent on Social Media) tend to be very full on, giving away the hopes of the relationship they seek from start to finish.
If there is an over use of the words loyal, genuine, trustworthy or ‘God fearing’, looking for a soulmate and someone to marry with the love of children, this should alert you. Genuine profiles are usually fun and only hinting at what you are like and looking for. It’s all about you and too good to be true… If you reply to a message and it’s a Catfish, the chances are you will be They ask lots of questions about you but don’t give much information in return.
They are reading you at this point, taking notes, earning your trust. Often fraudsters will spend time looking at your social media profiles and pictures to get to know you better so it seems like they are your perfect match and you have lots in common. They will fall head over heels for you very quickly and will be very full on from an early stage.
This aims to get the other person ‘hooked’ as quickly as possible. It may seem like you’ve found your soulmate and your perfect partner but it’s best to edge on the side of caution. If things seem too good to be true, it’s likely they are! You may hear phrases like: ‘I can’t believe we’ve been so lucky to find one another…’ Many will tell you they’ve never experienced that level of connection with someone else before. It may seem like they are genuinely interested in you but it’s best to be a little cautious if they are asking question after question but keeping their own details private.
Dating is about getting to know another person – if they’re genuine and have nothing to hide they shouldn’t be afraid to answer your questions. Things should move slowly… Reverse psychology Do they over emphasise how honest, loyal and committed they are?
If so, this could be a warning they’re a fraudster, as they’re using reverse psychology. This plays a big part in their game. It throws you off guard and has you doubting yourself. Mine told me how he thought ‘cheaters’ were disgusting (he knew it had happened to me before), he said of a friend who’s boyfriend was caught sending emails to someone else, ‘tell her to get rid of him babe, he’s a baddun’.
This all consolidated in my mind (as we sat watching a movie, munching on cashews) that he would never do that to me. Little did I know that as we spoke, he was doing exactly this to his wife and several other women as well. Money, money, money… Asking for money will soon follow if they are a scammer.
They may be subtle or outright. Cover stories will tell of a difficult time or disaster. Good people falling on hard times. But anyone asking for money that you haven’t met in person or know well is not someone to be chatting with, however big the disaster. They play on kind people. Sextortion or Personal Catfish. Similarly to money, anyone asking for intimate photos, videos (or webcams) before you meet would be considered disrespectful of someone really interested in a proper relationship.
This may start with them asking for ‘sexy chat’ but will progress quickly. Although sex was part of the motivation for mine too, he was very different in that he was patient and had read me well, there was never a push on me for anything. He evolved his tactics to suit the target. Some are just in this for the thrill of the power, deception and control over someone else whilst playing their games.
These are harder to spot BUT… if your gut instinct says something isn’t right then listen! Not everyone who exhibits the above traits and warning signs is a catfish, but it’s best to be sure.
By: Jenny Parker - Updated April 27, 2015 With more and more people leading busy and stressful lives with little time for socialization, it's no wonder that online dating only continues to increase in popularity. Internet dating sites can be an easy way to meet other people who are looking for love without having to subject yourself to bars and other traditional means of meeting potential partners.
However, meeting people online comes with risks. The following are a few warning signs to watch out for to avoid involving yourself with someone who has dishonest intentions. This is one of the easiest warning signs to spot early on in your communication with someone. If you notice that the person you're corresponding with only has photos that seem outdated or that have been taken from far away or from extreme angles, it's not unreasonable to suspect that she might be hiding something and probably does not look quite the same in person.
If the person you have met has a "Don't call me, I'll call you" policy once you have taken the relationship beyond e-mail, it may mean that he's trying to conceal his relationship with you from a wife or girlfriend.
If you do manage to get his phone number but he insists on only texting and never answers when you call, that's another red flag. Anyone who has no encumbrances and is fully open to a new relationship would not want to put these types of unexplained restrictions on communication.
While it's smart to avoid giving out a large amount of personal information to someone you have recently met on the Internet, if your online date is vague or completely avoids answering anytime you ask a question about her job, family or personal life, it may be a sign that there's something she does not want you to know.
Before escalating the relationship, it's important to ask yourself how much you really know about this person and whether you're comfortable with her apparent discomfort when it comes to talking about herself. One of the biggest red flags to watch for when meeting someone new is inconsistency in his behavior or in the stories he tells.
If he claims to have an impressive education and credentials but his current situation does not seem to match up to those claims, he may not be telling you the truth. By the same token, some online daters will lie about their age or occupation initially, and then will reveal the truth to you later on after you have been corresponding for awhile.
This type of behavior may make you wonder what else he is being deceitful about. If the person you have met seems overly curious about your activities, such as who you have been seeing or speaking with, this is a sign of a possessiveness that is unlikely to subside if you take the relationship offline. Constantly having to account for your whereabouts and to reassure your partner of your loyalty can be exhausting, so you will need to decide whether this type of relationship is actually worth pursuing.
Jenny Parker is a New England-based entrepreneur who has been writing since 1995. Parker writes extensively on creative self-employment and genealogy; her work has appeared on Etsy.com and Ancestry.com. She also has self-published several short story collections and is currently working on her first non-fiction book chronicling the history of her ancestors in America.
Tutorial: How To Catch A Catfish (Read Description)