More than 50 years have passed since the movie Look Who's Coming to Dinner, featuring the Oscar-winning actor Sydney Pointier, examined the (at the time) controversial topic of interracial dating. We've come a long way since then, and with all of the various dating sites on the Internet, there are many that cater to the needs of those people who want to date someone from another culture, background, or ethnicity from themselves. Here, we present the best interracial dating websites on the Web.
Deborrah Cooper Deborrah Cooper, also known as Ms. Heartbeat, writes advice columns for . She holds a B.A. in Mass Communication and has written the book . Deborrah has studied love and dating for over 15 years and has appeared in numerous media outlets and is a frequent guest on 106.1 FM KMEL in San Francisco. Related Articles • • • Interview with Deborrah Cooper about the Pros and Cons of Interracial Dating What are some of the advantages or joys of dating someone from a different race?
There are no particular advantages to choosing a partner of a different race just to experience a new joy per se that I can think of offhand. Our joy in our relationships, ANY relationship, must come from the surprise and delight of finding someone we have a spiritual, mental and emotional connection to.
Look for compatibility and a good fit. Choosing someone to love and someone to care about you should be your first priority, not race. What are some challenges that interracial couples deal with that couples of the same race don't have? Enduring the unkind words of disapproving family, friends, and society (including those at work) may be too much for a new couple to bear. These people will question your motivation for pursuing a mixed-race relationship.
Though attraction is certainly a personal issue of taste, I caution readers to stop and think about your choice and why you are making it. Are you ashamed or embarrassed or in any way attempting to deny parts of yourself by dating interracially?
Have you subscribed to negative stereotypes about your own race? A couple embarking on an interracial partnership must prepare themselves for curious stares and racist comments you have never before experienced.
Many couples fold under the pressure. Do you have any tips or advice to help couples overcome these challenges? If you are not a strong person - mentally and emotionally - then interracial dating is best avoided.
Those of you that feel insecure and need the approval of others to be okay about your choices will find an interracial relationship to be a source of great stress and confusion. If you decide to go ahead and take the leap, do all you can to keep the lines of communication open.
Make it a habit to listen to your partner without judging or comparing him or her to previous partners of some other race. Your mate may experience things that you never have due to his or her language/accent, ethnicity or race. Loving them will mean you do all you can to understand that not everyone has had the experiences, privileges or even the problems that you have!
What should you do if your parents or family does not approve of your decision to date someone of another race? I think that would depend strictly upon your age, maturity level, and level of independence. A minor child or a student dependent upon parents for financial support would not have the same freedom of choice as an adult child out on his or her own.
If your family has reservations about your mate, don't assume to know why, ask them! Get clear on their precise reasons for feeling that this person isn't right for you. Their reasons may have nothing to do with race, but you won't know that for certain until you sit down and have a mature discussion.
Share with them what you see, feel, and love about your partner. Should it turn out that their complaints are related strictly to your partner's race, it's time for you to stand strong for your convictions. Don't back down. Do all within your power to encourage an honest discussion on race, racial stereotypes, family and love. Are people generally open to marrying someone of another race? To date the AskHeartBeat.Com Interracial Relationships Survey has logged more than 9,100 responses and been used in dozens of student research reports on the subject all over the world.
The vast majority (58 percent) of respondents said that they wanted a loving partner and that ethnicity was not at all a consideration in their choice. However, 34 percent report that their families made it a point to communicate that they would tolerate their child having friends of other races, but not romantic partners.
More than 25 percent of the respondents stated that their parents threatened to disown them if they ever dated outside of their race! Sometimes the belief systems our family members have about other races are not revealed to us until we bring home someone that doesn't look the way they expected. Many young people are shocked to find out that their parents, who always spoke of love and of everyone being the same under the skin, are actually selectively racist.
I can't tell you have many advice request letters I've received over the past ten years from dismayed young people dealing with this very issue. These survey results, coupled with the discussions I've had with men and women of various ethnicities on this subject, would cause me to say that statistically, the answer to this question is "no." Apparently, many people are certainly open to DATING someone of another race, but still draw the line when it came to marriage and children for whatever reason they have.
What is your overall opinion of interracial dating? Do the potential rewards outweigh the challenges? I'd have to say that only the strongest people, the most determined to open their mind and spirit to someone very, very different should even attempt interracial dating. There are many challenges you may face and have to overcome - culinary tastes, religious beliefs, customs and cultural differences just to name a few.In closing, I see love as a wonderful gift.
Finding someone to love, someone you mesh with, and someone that makes your heart sing and brings peace of mind is the stuff of poetry.
We should never deny ourselves that experience or allow others to intimidate us into making a choice that leaves us without the person that makes us happy. Life is too short to miss the joy of love for even one day! Don't be afraid to open yourself up to new experiences.
Love is where ever you find it. Conclusion Before starting a relationship with someone from a different race, carefully consider the pros and cons of interracial dating. Be aware of the challenges you'll face, but also know, as our expert says, that love can be found anywhere and with anyone. LoveToKnow Dating would like to thank Deborrah Cooper for taking the time to do this interview.
best interracial dating survey questions - 11 Best Interracial Dating Blogs (2018)
In 2012, 15.1 percent of new marriages were . To many, interracial relationships are now almost a non-issue; just love whomever you want to love. To date outside of your race is no longer the controversial decision it once was. This doesn’t mean you won’t encounter a few obstacles along the way. Here are some things to know and consider when entering into an interracial relationship. Interracial Dating: Opposites Attract? Before you start dating anyone, it’s important to know what qualities you’re looking for in someone.
What strengths complement your weaknesses? What character traits are absolute “musts” for you when searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right? If you’re a subscriber to the theory that opposites attract, be aware that the more significant the differences, the greater the room for potential conflict. When dating interracially, you’re going to encounter different histories, different cultures, different traditions, attitudes and philosophies.
Determine what matters most to you. Are you spiritually, intellectually or emotionally on the same page? Can you agree on gender roles?
It’s easier to celebrate your differences when you have common ground in the important things. Interracial Dating: Anticipate Objections Dating someone outside of your race might not cause you a second of concern, but you’re likely to find someone who objects to your decision to date someone who doesn’t look like you.
Don’t write off every friend or family member who raises an eyebrow in your direction; instead, anticipate objections and be prepared to respond graciously, articulately and without defensiveness.
Some old-school families will consider interracial dating a form of cultural betrayal. If this applies to one of your families, talk about this with your significant other early on, strategizing how to be reassure parents that your relationship has no intention of ignoring or abandoning heritage. Interracial Dating: Share, Don’t Compare One of the greatest joys of is the opportunity to share cultural experiences with one another. Celebrate your differences and be intentional about sharing the foods, music, holidays and traditions you’ve grown up with.
Talk about your childhoods and how you envision your culture playing into your future. If the relationship gets serious, how will you ensure that both backgrounds are honored? Be sure to comparisons that will one person’s family or culture looking less significant than the other. And don’t expect your ties to your family to be as weak or strong as your partner’s. Be considerate as you learn about one another.
Ask thoughtful questions, avoid jumping to conclusions, and be willing to have difficult conversations when cultures clash. Interracial Dating: Prove ‘Em Wrong Silence your critics with love. Maybe the skeptics around you haven’t seen a beautiful, healthy, thriving interracial relationship. Treat each other well — and each other’s families well — and set an example of grace as family and friends slowly warm up to you and your partner.
starts with eHarmony. Meet singles of all races on the #1 most trusted online dating website.
By: Liza Hollis While making your way through the hustle and challenges of everyday life, it may be difficult to meet people with whom you may have a romantic future. This is why more people are turning to online dating sites to find love in the real world.
The key to a successful love connection online is asking the right questions that can help you get to know each other. A well-written survey with a range of insightful questions can be a helpful way for people to communicate online. When it comes determining if people are truly compatible, it often comes down to values.
Value-based questions are important features of an online dating survey. Questions that address topics such as religion, moral beliefs, child-rearing and life goals are all ways for daters to get to know each other better. Narrow topics can touch on bigger concepts.
For example, "What is your biggest strength?" or "Does your faith play an important role in your life?" can help online daters express themselves and what they are looking for in a relationship. Often, people get to know each other based on their interests. For example, they might meet at a concert by a favorite band or by joining an art class.
While these interests aren't always the basis of relationships, they can be jumping-off points for helping people get to know each other better. Dating survey questions should include interests, such as favorite movies, music, sports, teams, foods and hobbies. These shared interests can be icebreakers for more meaningful conversation. Either/or are entertaining questions types that are simple to answer and evoke conversation. For example, "Would you rather honeymoon on a deserted island or in a hidden forest?" or "If you were planning a first date, would you choose to go on a romantic dinner to a nice restaurant or a quaint picnic?" If possible, leave room on the survey for the daters to explain their answer with further information that will give you more detailed insight into who they are.
Questions about goals and wishes can be a strong determiner for whether two people are truly compatible. For example, questions such as "What's most important for your life, health, wealth or fame?" or "Would you consider yourself an ambitious person?" allow daters to communicate ideas that are at the root of what they are looking for in a companion. Other questions might involve having daters outline where they see themselves in five years or which single trait they need most in a partner.
One portion of the survey should touch on likes and dislikes. For example, ask questions about smoking, exercising, use of alcohol, TV-watching habits and opinions on different activities in a yes-or-no format.
This is another area where the survey could feature extra room for daters to further explain their answers.
The Pros And Cons of Interracial Dating