The single men just made a date. They didn’t have to engage in clandestine plans and think of elaborate excuses. And most single men confess they are initially very careful not to appear too interested, lest they find themselves headed for a commitment they're not ready for In comparison to married men who cheat, the majority of women who enter into affairs with married men report that they do so because they are in love or falling in love with him 3. They may feel that the reasons for ending it should be obvious to their affair partner, and that she or he should just take it like a big girl.. Life is short. Time may be better spent on a man who is looking for something more than a loveless sexual liaison with multiple partners over several years. That single guy might be a safer risk.
The good news: you feel you have found the love of your life. He is friendly, responsible, mature, absolutely fun-loving and dotes on you. He is everything you ever dreamed for in a man and yourself are pleasantly surprised.
Now, comes the bad news: he is married. Yes, that’s right; he has a wife and kids and is a family man. Usually, if a friend or anyone we know is dating a married man, we react shockingly upon hearing the news. The woman who is dating a married man is usually ignored by her family and friends aren’t all that supportive. In our society, dating married men is considered to be adultery and even a sin.
There is a lot of disgrace attached to this. Think about it, the woman is actually ruining a family. Even the person you are dating will always consider you after his wife & kids and sideline you, thus making you feel lonely most of the times. You wouldn’t want your ‘soul-mate’ to do that, would you? Also, when you are dating, you would have to be extra careful about meeting up outside so as not to be spotted by someone you know. The biggest challenge is controlling emotions.
Most of them, trust me, will be negative emotions regarding this whole relationship. These emotions will affect everyone close to you, adversely. Your friends will turn away, your family might just shun you, his family will definitely hate you and in the end, you will start think negative about yourself. On top of it all, you can never be clear about the intentions of the man. If he dumped his wife and kids for you, he can do the same thing with you. Once the guilt of destroying his family life settles on him, you will be made to feel low and will lose self-respect.
For all that you know, he might leave citing you as the reason for the break-up of his family. Think about this whole relationship from a logical point of view. It may be a bit difficult but try. A relationship with a married man is only going to give you a few exciting moments and a long period of guilt, heartbreak and low self-esteem. Most married men, who are bored of the daily monotonous routine, venture out for a little excitement.
They never ever think of having a relationship at the cost of their family. But they reach a stage in life when they cannot decide which side of the fence they want to stay in. If they decide to go back to their family, you are doomed. If they reluctantly agree to stay with you, don’t expect your life to be a bed of roses. You may have a fall-out sooner than you think due to constant comparisons, cribbing and blaming.
At the end of the day, it is just not worth it. There are lots of single men out there who are waiting for their soul mate. All you need to do is go and find him! Don’t waste precious moments of your life on someone who may leave you, sooner or later, with a bitter taste in mouth.
best is dating a married man a single girl - 10 Reasons Why Dating a Married Man is a Bad Idea!
As a single lady, what type of man would you date? Would you date a married man? Or is it a single man? Or would you date both, depending on the circumstance? We went to town find out the preferences of single women. Below are their responses. Madonna Ayara I know that some single ladies do not see anything special in dating married men.
I also know that some others would prefer married men. For these people, what determines, who they date is money or fun. For me, I do not see any fun in dating a man who is old enough to be my father. Dating a married man, therefore, is not in my dictionary. What you would not want people to do to you, don't do it to others. Ejiro Anita Odim I think the reason ladies date married men is that they are more experienced in taking care of women than the single men.
Some also do it because of the financial benefit they would derive from it. When a woman wants to look good and appear flashy, she can go to any length in getting the money. Since single men are stingy, these women opt for married men. To me, it is not right because I will not feel good when I get married tomorrow and another person would share my husband with me. The repercussions of dating a married man is not good and as a Christian, it is not good also.
MaryJane Egbikwe For a short run, there is gain in dating a married man, but in the long run, there is no gain. A married man can give you money. But don't be deceived. They know when a woman needs comfort, companion and money. Single men, on the other hand, devote time to take care or maintain a woman. They may still flirt around. However, affairs with married men could only cut one's life short. You would enjoy and have fun with them, but after a while, they would dump you.
Sometimes, you may find it difficult to get married and that is why we have so many unmarried ladies around. Gloria Ahamba Dating married men does not take any women anywhere. The end is usually destructive. When you are doing something, you should look at the future. Men are promiscuous by nature.
They mess around with many women. In the process, some of them get infected with diseases, which they, in turn, transfer to as many girls they date. If you also look at it from the Christian perspective, you also see that the Bible admonished the men to love and be faithful to their wives, while women should be submissive to their husbands. Young girls should not, owing to what they get from these men, sleep with other women's husbands. Whatever you sow, that you would reap.
Other women would equally sleep with your husband. Some women would give you a legion of reasons they date married men, but I tell you that it is not only when you date another person's husband that you would be able to solve your problems. Cynthia Ani Decision to date a married man could be influenced by one's background. It depends on individual's background and the people that influence them. Some do what others do, not knowing why they are even doing it.
Some do it because they want to belong to the society. For me, a married man is ruled out because it is against the doctrine of my church. I cannot come between two people that God had joined. Remember that the scripture says that what God has joined together, no one should put asunder.
Dating a married man is an attempt to put asunder, his union with his wife. I hate it and I advise young girls not to do so. Dada Akinola Dating a married man is very risky and I don't think I would like to risk my life because of a married man. No woman will keep her hands crossed when she knows that her husband is having extra-marital affairs.
So, I don't wish to go to churches for prayers for protections, when I know the kind of sin I indulged myself. Sandra Osas Some ladies date married men because such men know how to take care of them.
The ladies say they don't want to have anything to do with 'school boys,' who can't take care of their bills. My question is: Why should a lady, who is supposed to be praying to God for a husband, tie her destiny to a married man? Although there are temptations, single women shouldn't do it. I can't do such a callous thing because I will get married someday and I wouldn't like my husband to cheat on me.
I wouldn't also take it kindly with any woman who is having an affair with my husband. Tessy Igben Women do it because of money. But, what would I be doing with a married man when there are young and handsome bachelors outside for me to love? It may be true that married men are caring to their girlfriends, concubines or mistresses, as they pamper them like babies, such relationship is a waste of time.
Titilayo Abitoye It is only a desperate lady, who will date a married man, maybe because bachelors are no longer interested in having an affair with her. Some ladies too don't mind going to the extent of having babies for married men, just to destroy their marriages and cause them unhappiness because no polygamous man is happy.
There are always married men ready to pick women, especially when their wives are pregnant or nursing babies. They also do that whenever they have disagreement with their wives. The women who think such relationship gives them succour are wrong.
Loveth Omogbemi Married men are very caring and experienced when it comes to love. They give money to their mistresses and neglect their wives. Ann Onuegbu Married men are caring. Just give them what they want, which is good sex, then, they will go extra mile to satisfy your needs. Blessing Sunday Selfishness is the major reason young girls are interested in married men. They are not contented with whatever their boyfriends give to them.
Instead, they prefer to date married men who will even buy them luxury cars, open fat bank accounts for them, pay their phone bill, take shopping as well as give them fat pocket money.
No responsible girl would prefer dating a married man to a bachelor.
I hated those looks when someone would ask me if I was in a relationship and I would reply, “I’m single.” It was as though I had a disease or something was wrong with me. And the following looks would allow me to see exactly what was going through their mind.
“What’s wrong with her, is she is being too needy, is she being too desperate, is she partying too much, is she scaring the men away somehow?” It was as though there was something wrong with me because I was single.
But the irony was I was having a blast and there was no lack of men in my life unlike what the label might seem. I was dating, seeing people, hooking up with others, but yet I wasn’t in a relationship of the stereotypical sense.
But my only option was to say I was alone. Whilst some wish to reclaim the word “single” as a positive, I wanted a new label that was more of a representation of what actual women were doing in the dating world. It was a way to say, “we are not committed to one person, but having a lot of fun dating and seeing maybe multiple people,” something society seemed to struggle with. When do you hear people give permission to women to see multiple people, date without things leading to a relationship and hook-up with more than one man in a week?
Seeing multiple partners at a time The problem with this new label is it encourages women to go against what society for many years had taught them. Good girls date a boy, get married and have babies. Slutty girls are the ones who take the time, sleep around, dating lots of men and then get blamed for their own actions for still being single as though it’s a curse for slutty behaviors.
The “Should do” curse But being a former family mediator and assisting people through divorces, what I got to see was people not having enough time to work out what they really wanted for themselves and just follow with what I call the “should do” curse, living their life thinking what they were doing was what should be done. But the should do curse is often one based on backward outdated beliefs that society for some reason has kept around including shame put on women for acting outside of what is seen as the sexual norm.
Maybe when it comes to dating, relationships, and marriage we only have to look at the high divorce rate to realize we should be doing things a little different.
Single but dating Single but dating became not just a new relationship status but a way to find love either within yourself or with another. After I have finished my first book tour, I found love unexpectedly, and one of the reasons I was able to see it was thanks to my years of dating, seeing multiple people and mucking around – my time being single but dating. I got to learn what it is I wanted myself and test and try things out.
How are you supposed to know what you do and don’t like unless you have experienced those things before? After putting all my advice down in words, I finally realized the real power in those words in my own life. This is why the term single but dating is important to use. Not just as a new but honest relationship status but a way to give permission for women to explore and experiment with what they want.
Dr. Nikki Goldstein is the modern-day expert on all things relating to sex and relationships. She has a unique ability to normalize the subjects of sex and relationships, and her fresh, balanced and candid views make her instantly relatable and approachable. She holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology, a postgraduate diploma in counseling and a doctorate in human sexuality; she is a highly credible authority on the topics of love, sex, dating, romance and relationships.
Coming from a background as a family mediator who assisted in the process of divorce, she has an understanding of what makes and breaks relationships. She appears across many media avenues, such as TV, radio, podcasts and magazines, both in the US and Australia. Twice voted Australia’s Best Sex Educator, she’s young, bright and honest and has lived many years of her life as a Single but Dating (SBD) woman.
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