Staying single means being able to save your money, or better yet, spend it on yourself. 5. You Can Do The Hookup Thing. If you're looking to experiment, and try out some some one-night stands for your sexier needs, go for it. It's the perfect time to do so Not sure about you, but the thing I hate most about dating is the awkwardness of the first date. Having to meet up with someone you don't truly know, and spend 30 minutes+ talking to them about who knows what is not only intimidating, it sounds outright unpleasant. Then there's the added bonus that you may not even like the person, but you're stuck unless you can come up with a truly creative way to get yourself out of there. No first dates means no aggravation and no added worry. 7. Also, Dating Apps Can Be Kind Of Miserable.
So I’m dating this guy. Or so I thought…. Maybe we’re actually seeing each other. Juries out. Turns out this syntax is maddeningly unclear. As if there aren’t enough gray areas in dating! As if labels with a romantic interest aren’t difficult enough already! Recently I realized I don’t even know how to talk about potential fellas to !
“Dating” VS “Seeing” I’ve been on a handful of dates with a person. Things are going well, but it’s still new, still casual. It’s reached the point where I’ll mention him to my friends, the dude’s got potential. But suddenly I feel lost on the girls’ brunch staple: What’s up with your love life?
Am I seeing this guy or dating him? Instead of consulting Urban Dictionary, I asked Facebook and Twitter. I asked my friends. I considered standing on a street corner and asking but a blizzard made me scrap that idea. It’s a subtle difference, I’ll admit. But important. Like the difference between the B and D train: one easily gets you to the , the other zooms you up to 125th leaving you wondering what the hell you did wrong and OMG am I in Harlem!?
I certainly think of DATING and SEEING as different in my mind. Dating is occasionally buying things on Amazon, it’s a pay-per-ride Metrocard. Seeing is a Prime Membership and an unlimited monthly. When I’m dating someone, I can still count the number of dates. When I’m seeing someone I’ve lost count. DATING: NO WAY do my family members know about him. SEEING: I might tell my aunt about him when she asks, “Any men in the picture?” DATING: I hope he’s not a serial killer.
SEEING: I’m like, pretty positive he’s never murdered anyone. DATING: I may still be dating other people too. SEEING: It’s exclusive. Turns out a lot of people agree with my take on these two words! Annnnnd….a lot of other people think the exact opposite… The conclusion of my (extremely) limited study (“study”) was a shockingly even divide between the two camps.
Included in the number who totally disagree is the guy I’m dating/seeing. Yes, I told him I was writing this post and asked his thoughts. Turns out we have polar opposite views on these two confounding words. He thinks we’re seeing each other, I think we’re dating: Communication Fail. OMG does that mean we don’t understand each other!? DEAL BREAKER!? I jest, I jest! We’re both on the same page, just uh, looking at different words?
I’m a writer, I think that’s why this confusion bothers me. I want to be clear with my words! Not mean different things to different people! So I gave this stupid syntax wayyyyy more thought than it ever deserved. I wanted answers. Thankfully, it wasn’t too hard to figure out.
The explanation for this dating/seeing confusion, as I see it, seems to lie in the biggest scapegoat of modern romance: Hookup Culture. “!” Hookup Culture says. “, we’re !” it continues. “!” it insists. Put it together and POOF the word “dating” elevates to a greater level of seriousness. “Seeing” can be applied to your friend with benefits, your ex, and tonight’s Bumble date. It could even just mean using your eyes!
Totes. “Dating”? OMG no! That word alone is enough to m ake anyone with the hide under the covers! Thus the confusion? Thus my conclusion: “Seeing” used to unequivocally hold more weight. Evidence: the cliché question, “Are you seeing anyone special?” plus the dialogue in your average rom-com.
But now, Hookup Culture has reversed the playing field between the two words. As a 30-year-old blogger who’s watched of Sex and the City….I might feel a little old-fashioned in my DATING vs SEEING beliefs. Maybe I need to change my wording when I write about dating, since I frequently do… Or maybe I’ll just slip on some elbow length gloves every time I sit down to blog, and tell you I’m not old-fashioned. I’m classic. AF. What do you think? Which one do you think is less casual: “Dating” or “Seeing”?
Do you think my point of view on this is dated (pun intended) and I should change it to reflect dating in this app area? Or tell me potato, patahto- let’s call the whole thing off! I hadn’t thought about this question for a minute, to be honest, but I felt the exact opposite with the meanings of the different phrases. It doesn’t mean that your wrong just that I may more socially awkward than I thought. And either way, it leads to that uncomfortable, “what are we ?” conversation, where you feel like you want to pluck your eyes out.
• I think dating, as you say, is super casual, you might be dating a few people, playing the field, just seeing what’s out there. Seeing someone on the other hand is much more exclusive, that sort of limbo stage between dating and making it official! This is a really great and amusing post to read! I really enjoyed it! And loved the ‘Friend’s with benefits’ gif in there!
It’s one of my favourite feel good movies! PaleGirlRambling xo • Mmmmm I’m inclined to agree that “seeing someone” is the more “serious” phrasing. Like, “dating” is you’re going on DATES.
But SEEING them means that you see them frequently in situations that aren’t typically considered DATES, for instance, you go to Trader Joe’s together because you both need groceries! Or you accompany them to eviction court! (yes, I’ve done that, true story). That’s way more serious than the ol’ coffee & museum “dating” thing!
• I have no idea… to be honest, I never thought about it. I think each culture has really different terms and phases. In Italy seeing someone is going out or courting that someone and is casual. It takes a great deal of time before going to the next phase which is more serious. I’d say that dating is less casual as in they are a romantic framework: dates, dinner, drinks. While seeing could just be like fun buddies… I don’t know… though question ahah xx corinne • Interesting question.
As someone who studied linguistics at university I love hearing about people’s perceptions of different words, the subtleties of language are fascinating to me! I started this comment thinking that I agreed with you but now I’m overthinking the whole thing and I keep switching perspectives! I can’t make up my mind anymore! • I love, love, love this article! Can we please just confirm a universal meaning to differentiate these two words please?!
It’s so confusing isn’t it, especially if the person you’re seeing/dating has a different idea of what the words mean.
Are you even on the same page?! As if love lives weren’t crazy enough already! Bisous, Faz • YES! I wondered that too! My super informal poll was very “liberal coast” centric, I wouldnt be surprised at all if it varied by location! This is such a littler thing- the difference between dating/seeing- but it opens up a lot of interesting questions, right? Thanks so much for reading and joining in the convo! 🙂 • Up to interpretation I think! Personally (and I can’t really explain why) – ‘seeing’ someone seems more casual to me – couple dates, nothing to really shout from the rooftops.
But if you hear me say I’m dating someone; that implies more of a relationship with exclusivity. Who knows; it’s all so confusing! • It’s seriously like every little stupid thing in dating, down to the smallest trivial wording, must be turned as complicated and confusing as possible. Sure, I’m being a little dramatic there…but only a little!
But yes, if there is one thing I learned from this post, seeing/dating is 100% open to interpretation! Thanks for your input!! • I totally relate to this. Recently, a guy I was regularly going on dates with wanted to make sure my friend knew he and I were “non-exclusively dating”. The weird thing is he was saying it like it’s an actual title. Like a pre-boyfriend maybe? The biggest difference is on our off-nights, I was sitting around waiting for him to call and he was going out with other people.
Clarifying what a relationship is becomes pretty important…especially after about date 3. •
best meaning of dating someone i hate about you casting - The cast of 10 Things I Hate About You today
A single bad date can sometimes be enough to turn you off of dating completely. I'm not talking about just the ones where the guy talks only about himself, tells offensive jokes, or is a little too touchy-feely. I'm talking about the ones that are amazing, promising, and spill over into dinner and a romantic walk home...and then you never hear from him again. We've all been there, and we've all hit a wall that made us want to give up on the process entirely.
But how do you know if it's really time to take a break, or if you should hang in there and keep at it? Keep reading, because I'll tell you. It's Time to Take a Break If: Your self-worth is shot. A hot date can certainly be a confidence-boost, but if your entire well-being depends on whether or not someone texts you back, it might be time to reevaluate the rest of your life.
Simply put, being in a relationship cannot be your main source of happiness. That puts way too much pressure on you to find the right person, and it puts way too much pressure on the person at the table across from you, not to mention whoever you might end up with.
Instead, take a little break to work on yourself. Women who are happy with themselves tend to attract like-minded men. You're not over your ex. People heal in all kinds of ways, but if you can't stop thinking about your ex, you're probably not ready to date someone else. All you'll do is compare your ex with your dates, and if they're looking for something serious, that isn't fair to them. Wait until your heart heals and the thought of meeting someone new actually excites you.
You're too busy. Let's say you're working full-time, going to school, completing an internship, and trying to stay connected with loved ones. For someone so busy, the thought of meeting new people probably feels exhausting! That's OK; life is full of ebbs and flows. So instead of filling your calendar completely, take some time out for yourself to breathe during your down times. When things slow down again, you'll be ready to go. One caveat: If this schedule persists for more than a few months, your work-life balance may be getting out of hand.
In that case, please date again! Your heart isn't in it. If you really enjoy being single and aren't looking for marriage and/or children at the moment, take a break. It's Time to Keep Going If: You've met a few duds. You might feel eager to meet the right guy, but don't let a few bad dates or relationships steal your hope. Instead of letting a little bad luck take you out of the game, consider what you can learn from those experiences (Things you definitely don't want? Things you definitely do?).
One caveat: If you feel like you're attracting the wrong type repeatedly, you might need to take some time off to reflect, talk to a therapist, or change some of your own habits to reset the energy you're giving off. Tinder is creeping you out. If any particular app is getting on your nerves, delete it and try something else. There are plenty of other ways to meet potential dates.
Mix it up with some real-life flirting, friendly setups, and after-work happy hours to see what works best for you. Don't let your success rate on Tinder (or lack thereof) discourage you about your love life as a whole. You're scared of getting hurt. It can be confusing to date someone you really like. In the beginning, it's normal to think: "This is too good to be true. This is going to blow up in my face sooner or later.
I better get out before I get hurt." While that's a common response, if you want a healthy relationship, you better throw it out the window. Don't you want to meet someone who knocks your socks off and makes you feel things? You're not looking for anything serious. Not only can casual dating be fun, but it's also a great way to learn more about yourself and the type of people you click with.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with sowing your wild oats as long as you're up front with guys that you're not after a relationship. We say: Let the good times roll! Oh, and a little new-age self-help can't hurt! Check out this advice from Gabby Bernstein: ©2018 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. Use of and/or registration on any portion of this site constitutes acceptance of our (updated 5/25/18) and (updated 5/25/18).
The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast.
Dating sucks! I mean, really sucks. Every time I go on a date I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience watching myself go through that pain of having to go through the same thing all over again. It’s gotten to the point where I’d rather do anything else but go on a date.
For example, I would rather…..Hmmmmm….. I would rather watch all the back to back. I would rather wait for hours by the stage entrance of the Apollo Theatre hoping for the cast of “” to sign my program. Anyway, you get the picture. For this I thought it would be funny to go through the 10 things I hate about dating. 1. You Can’t Just Get Up and Leave You kind of know within the first few minutes whether you want to see somebody again. I’d love to save time and money by telling them brutally that I’m not interested instead of smiling and nodding whilst they show me pictures of their cat playing with a ball of yarn.
2. The Awkwardness When The Date Finishes So, the date’s finished. You know you’re not going to see them again, but they say, “so, should I give you a call?” I always say “I’m not going to lie, this isn’t going to work out”. Which brings me to my next point…….. 3. The Truth Hurts I never “blow smoke up anyone’s arse” as they say. Honesty’s the best policy and one of the first things I say to someone is “I’m not looking for anything serious”.
This isn’t because I want to sleep with them, it’s more because I don’t want them to get the wrong idea. They look at me like I’m crazy when I explain this, but, surely they’d prefer I’d be honest, right? Answers on a postcard. 4. It’s Expensive For a Guy I’m all for chivalry. Pulling the chair out, opening the door, giving her the last – no problem. As the guy is expected to pay, which again I have no problem with whatsoever, it can start to get expensive for us.
I was speaking to a friend recently who mentioned she only does internet dating so that she can eat for free. She’s obviously in the minority, I know, but if we’re going on a date a week and spending say, £50 – that’s £2600 a year…. On dating!
5. Picking the Right Place For the Right Person You can tell a lot about a person by the place they pick – the pressure’s on. I went on a 2nd date recently where the girl suggested we go to the cinema or The Tate. I mean, really? Come on, maybe if we’d been in a relationship…. Or I’d had my testicles removed recently. Needless to say we never went there. Too picky? Maybe. But that’s also why I like to choose the place.
Oh, and don’t choose The Shard, it’s not romantic or original. 6. Deciding What to Wear I always believe that it’s better to o ver dress rather than under dress.
Obviously, this can’t always apply – if you’re going to a gig a suit doesn’t really work. It’s harder for a guy, as I believe we’re judged a little more by girls in the fashion department compared to how guys judge girls. A girl’s opinion will generally be honest and sincere when asked, a guy on the other hand will say “that looks great” just to hurry them up. And shoes! Shoes is a big one. Why are we so unbelievably judged on our choice of footwear?
7. The Follow up The texts arrive. “I’m deciding what to have for dinner, LOL”, “watching XFactor, LOL”. I. Don’t. Care. If they’re actually laughing out loud at either of those things, I’d be seriously worried that they have mental issues.
8. Being Set Up The problem with being set up by friends is that there’s a certain amount of expectation from all parties. Me, her, the friends. If I don’t like the girl, I get interrogated as to why not. Also, if she’s described as “bubbly” it normally means she’s overweight and if the first thing they mention about her is a “great personality” it generally means she has a face like a train wreck.
“Boo” me if you want, but surely we have to be physically attracted to the person too? 9. The Game Playing Do I text? Don’t I text? Do I respond straight away, or does that seem too keen? I had someone say that they didn’t respond straight away as they wanted to “make me sweat”. Well, it’s needless to say that she never got a second date. Now who’s sweating? 10. Receiving a Facebook Friend Request Before the Date Ummmm, so you’d rather judge me based on the drunk photos I posted 5 years ago as opposed to getting to know me organically?
At least stalk me without the friend request. Amateurs. If you laughed, you should share. Please don’t forget to share my post via Facebook, Twitter, Reddit or any other medium below. Thanks! Jordi. Pic courtesy of
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