Your daughter's well-being should be your paramount concern, above any opinions you have about age difference in dating. Encourage your daughter is dating a fun brother-sister type relationship with a year-old woman without my year-old daughter would you are older man To date a felony that my daughter dating an older man for. Dear doctor column for a deadbeat loser. Encourage your daughter to mix with her peers. Or perhaps she is simply more attracted to a more mature man, who can offer her more security than a man her own age. Refusing to engage with him will only propel her further into his orbit and dissipate any leavening influence you might have. Meeting him is a must otherwise your objections are based only on your misgivings, not the individuals involved.
Yes, this would bother me a lot. And regardless of whether you’re your daughter’s mother or father, I don’t like the suggestions that your feelings have to do primarily with jealousy. Many parents are capable of putting their parenting before their ego and concerns over their own inadequacies.
No, what would be running through my head would be the following: • Does she want children? What will her life look like when she is raising adolescents and she has a husband and two parents in their sixties, maybe pushing 70?
What can we do to make sure that burden doesn’t become too heavy for her? • Is her career well-established? Does he support her professionally? If she doesn’t have much of a career and doesn’t want one, how does he feel about that? Do they seem like a good enough match to have some financial dependency between them? • Does he know and like her for her, and not just for her youth and beauty? You can’t say that the relationship is wrong, because it’s not categorically wrong.
Adults make their own decisions about their romantic lives. If they really love each other and all of you can be realistic about the drawbacks of the age gap, then the situation is workable. If they don’t have strong affection or if anyone is in denial about what end-of-life care-taking involves, then yeah, I would stay worried. is a Quoran who’s an atheist who exhorts other atheists to be very specific about their objections to religion (if they have any): is it the ideas, the ritual, the times when it’s oppressive, or something else that bothers them?
I think you should approach this situation in exactly the same way. You have questions and concerns, not judgments. You know that this is your daughter’s call to make, but because she is someone you love and want to keep as safe as possible, you hope that she’ll be interested in discussing the situation with you.
As long as you approach her with humility and love - and as open-minded a spirit as you can muster - I think you’ll be fine. And though I think your concerns are legitimate, age really isn’t everything. This man might become a good friend to you, a valued member of your family. You could become very grateful for the happiness he brings to your daughter.
I think you should exercise cautious optimism. I sympathise. It’s not necessarily wrong - many successful relationships have had large age differences, so you can’t really insist on that. I was married to a man who was 21 years my senior, and I met him when I was 27. Although we’re divorced, we’re friends, and I really value the friendship, and I still wholeheartedly value much about the marriage too.
For me, I got involved with him because I needed what he had to offer. My own father was a great guy, and I love my mum deeply, but they’d had their own problems, and these had impacted on me. A man who knew how to give me structure in my life had been a lifeline. I’m not saying your situation is the same by any means. I’m writing this because it might be that something I say clicks with you or sparks something within you.
If it doesn’t, please ignore! Talk to her. Not so much as a parent, because she’s an adult. But you’re still her mum, and to me that means you have the ability to be closer to her then anyone else. What I discovered with my mum is that all her mistakes and fears were also mine.
It’s what we pass down. Talk to her about your own issues with relationships. Your problems with her father, with others. With yourself growing up. The honest, deep feelings you’ve possibly never admitted to anyone. Work on a dialogue with her: aim to be as honest with her as you’ve never been with anyone.
And then, whatever happens with this man, she will have you, and a deeper understanding of where she came from. And you will have, with luck, a friendship with your daughter that gives you both an incredible strength.
My own relationship with my mum is bitter-sweet because she’s got Alzheimers, but when we’re together we actually glow. We’ve had discounts on taxi fares, free drinks, and been driven all over the place purely due to our “glow” of shared love, and so much of this is due to our having shared painful and personal things. This is obviously a much shortened version of what actually took place - feel free to ask if you want more details.
I hope it either helps or at least doesn’t offend. So let’s start at the basics. The creepiness formula. Dating someone younger than (half your age, plus 7) is creepy. If you’re 30, you’re a creep if you’re dating anyone younger than 22. If you’re 50, you’re a creep if you’re dating anyone younger than 32.
Your daughter is 27. Dude’s failing the creepiness test. BUT creepy is not illegal. Creepy is not even immoral. It is not, and this was implied by the question you asked, “wrong” She’s over 18, she’s fair game, if you don’t mind being a creep, if she doesn’t mind dating a creep. Skeevy. Hair stands up on the back of your arm. But not “wrong” per se. But I said implied by the question you asked. You didn’t ask if this actually was wrong, you asked if you should tell her it is.
Aha. Perhaps you can manipulate the truth a little to prevent the whole creepiness thing, yes? No. She’s an adult, and you enjoy a special relationship with her, to wit, whenever you say something is “wrong” that only makes her want to do it more. Now you’re thinking you should instead say its “right”. Sadly, no, she’s now old enough to be perfectly happy accepting it when you agree with her, even while she’s still young enough to discount what you say when you disagree.
There’s no good answer. Well, there is. You should let her be her. She’s an adult. You’re always going to be her mother, but that will work better if she can share her joys with you and cry on your shoulder when things to poorly… instead of worrying that you’re judging her all the time. That time passed years ago. If it helps, when her boyfriend is 58 she’ll be 36 and this will no longer be creepy.
My wife is 5 years younger than I am. If we’d met when she was 18 this would have been creepy but legal.
best my daughter is dating an older man - What You Must Know Before Dating an Older Man
hello, my daughter of 17 years has been involved with a 21 year old male, but my husband and myself aren't too sure, particularly on the age gap, the boy in question is quite sensible, and is curently a second year medical student, my daughter is till in high school and wont be graduating until next year. however this guy seems better than her past boyfriends(same age as herself) who were pretty much wasters and had no intention of going to college, i know they are having sex, but she is at the age of consent were i am from, is this a problem she seems happy with him, but is this four year age gap a problem at 17, would like to hear your opinionsand thoughts, thanks ok thanks people for taking time to answer my question, some people are saying that the boy is only in it for the sex, so if she was dating an 18 year old, would he not have these intentions aswell, because as far i am concerned every red blooded hetrosexual male will have these thoughts, so if i go down this road with her, i'd probably stop her from seeing every guy in the world....
anyway that is my opinion, btw they are getting on great i think this could be guy for her, she told me yesterday I did not read all the posts here so I apologize if I duplicate. I see a problem on several different levels. The probability of this relationship working long term is very small simply cause of the age of your daughter. At some point in time she will get the urge to be a teenager and experience all that goes with it.
Secondly, Is it legal for him to date her? I don't remember the age of legality or maybe that has changed since mine were young. My daughter fell in love with the second guy she ever dated. They dated all thru high school. Came to me wanting to get married and I said no. Not until you have graduated, both of you.
They waited got married and not have been married for 6 going on 7 years. They wanted 3 children and had them back to back. Now, times are tuff financially and she is stating her discontent. Now not having those teen years are coming back to bite. I hope they make it thru this but now she cannot stand the guy, and off to counseling we go.
I hope for everyone's sake she makes it work and falls back in love. All we can do as parents is sit back and pray they know what they want. She is 17 and does not know if this is the guy for her, she has not experenced life yet. Again as a guy I would never go back to high school to find a girl, nor would I date anyone who was 17 when I was 21.
2 very different stages in life. At 21 and in college, don't get me started at what I did, but I can tell you that a 17 year old was not on my radar.
They are still young and both growing. If he is in college, the chances that he will meet other girls are great and she is still young and has a way to go. When she goes to college, she will definate meet other guys her age.
I personally don't think it's such a huge age difference. It depends on both maturity. Also, 17 yr. old and with mom's consent? That attitude is of great concern (Pregnancy, protection, etc.). Good luck. The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only.
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There are so many issues coming around the corner for her in the next year and she is going to need you if she is going to be able to get through them with a happy and healthy attitude. In order to make the right for herself - and she has a lot of potential - she is going to need a strong foundation with you.
WHY OLDER MEN ARE BETTER