Here are nine old-school dating tips we bet your grandparents used, that we’re in favor of making cool and modern again. Meeting Organically in Person. Have you ever wondered why it was so easy for your parents to meet? One reason may be that they didn’t have technology to act as a barrier between them. Suzanne Oshima , a dating and relationship coach with Single in Stilettos , says to put away the cell phone and start noticing men and women whenever you’re out. “By not allowing technology to dominate your interactions with potential partners, you’ll be able to focus more on your own desires a .
In a world rife with Tinder hook-ups, public displays of grinding and waking up next to your nanny after a boozy night (high-five, Arnold), one particular question would eventually linger into a dating man’s mind: What the hell is going on with courtship these days?
We’re all for social advancement and liberalism, but for today we’d like to take a step back and explore some old school habits that would still hold true today given that men still gave it a shot. Who knows, you might even stand out for all the right reasons after this. So listen up, lover boy. #1 Meeting Your Date At The Door We’ve all been guilty with this one. Since when did the Whatsapp message “I’m outside *fist bump emoji*” cut it as a sound dating move.
It’s certainly not as bad as honking your car horn, but it comes perilously close. Be a man. Nothing surprises your date more than them opening a front door to find you in the hallway looking like a million bucks.
#2 Turning Off Electronics During A Date Turning off your electronics on a date may be a bit excessive. Your potential lover could well be a serial killer like Bruce Willis in The Jackal. We do however endorse keeping the thing on silent. There’s nothing worse than breaking the flow of an intimate conversation with the buzz of your next Tinder match.
There’s a time and a place for technology, gentlemen. So keep it in your pants and enjoy the view that’s in front of you. Same goes to you, ladies. #3 Tinder Vs. Organic Encounters Let’s get this straight. Tinder is a numbers game based solely on physical attraction where users are spoilt for choice.
And because of this very fact, we’ve heard stories of success and endless bouts of failures. In the midst of all these stories though, men have forgotten that you can actually talk to an attractive stranger in the real world. Never forget the tried ways of the old. If you see something you like in a cafe or gym, say hi without being a creep. It’s how granddad did it and brought you into this world.
RELATED: #4 Dating Without The Assumption Of Sex Whoa there, pitchforks down. Sex is entirely the decision of the parties involved at any given time. We’re just highlighting that back in the day, when it came to dating specifically (not just hooking up) men were interested in the person and wanted to vouch for something more than just ‘dat ass’. These days you’ll find no shortage of endless debates on first date sex.
An old school guy? He doesn’t worry about this. If the date goes well, the sex will come and it’ll be greater than if you had expected it. #5 Being Straightforward About Your Intentions Disregarding the self-proclaimed practitioner of ‘Game’, most parties in an almost-relationship find it infuriating to constantly utter the words “we’re just talking”/”we’re just seeing each other for now”.
It’s today’s speak for ‘I like you but not enough to make it official, so let’s just roll with it’. It all stems from either fear of commitment or a penchant for seeing if the grass is greener on the other side. The old ways of dating didn’t accommodate for this shady business. Asking someone you’ve been keen on to go on a date has become a lost art when it really shouldn’t be. Try it. You’ll be surprised how much bullshit gets filtered out of your dating life. #6 Men Paying For Dinner Chivalry doesn’t have to be dead but it has evolved.
Gender equality is at the forefront of political correctness and the notion of a man paying for every meal has since come under fire. The old days of dating would see men paying for every outing well beyond the courting stage. Today men should be chivalrous to the extent at which it will show their interest and not their bank accounts.
General rule of thumb? First three casual dates the man can handle as long as it’s not a ridiculously lavish affair. After that it’s fair game. #7 Dirty Dancing Not Dirty Grinding You know how this goes.
You stare at a hottie on the dancefloor long enough and soon it becomes a dry humping contest. Dancing used to be an expression of fun and less about the sex.
It’s definitely ok to get close on the dancefloor these days, but don’t go straight in for the kill when it’s just you two up there. Especially at weddings. Remember, dancing for the sake of fun can also drastically boost the chemistry between two people as it helps to shake off the nerves. #8 Being Presentable For A Date The cardinal rule of the old Magnificent Bastard?
Always dress to impress. Especially for a date. Presentable is relative to the individual these days so know the person you’re dating and dress accordingly.
There’s nothing worse than rocking up in a regal three-piece when your date is a death metal fan. For the more pedestrian style date, wear clean clothes, keep it smart casual and put some effort into your grooming and scent routine. You’ll never know if there’s going to be any physical action later on so best you be prepared. Breath mints: mandatory. RELATED:
best old school dating tips - 6 OLD SCHOOL DATING RULES WE SHOULD BRING BACK TO LIFE
H. Armstrong Roberts/Getty Mama was channel surfing recently, looking for an old movie to get her into the Valentine’s spirit. Her favorites are Gone with the Wind, The Way We Were, Roman Holiday, and Tammy and the Bachelor. Instead, she stumbled onto an episode of that other bachelor— The Bachelor—no Tammy in sight.
And Mama almost had to be resuscitated. “What woman of sound mind would subject herself to such nonsense?” she demanded. “The very idea! Throwing yourself at some so-called bachelor. Any hen worth her feathers can make the rooster come to her. That’s just basic animal husbandry.” Mama continued her tirade about the dire need for more chivalry in this world, more dating rules for women and for men.
“ ceremony, my hind leg!” she said. “Of course, there's beauty in a simple rose, humbly presented by an admirer. But for some would-be suitor who's way too big for his britches to toss you a flower he probably bought at the grocery store and expect you to melt?
I think not. In my day, if somebody like that bachelor had swaggered up to me and handed me his rose, I’d have looked him square in the eye and said, ‘Where are the other 11?’ If she’s going to a Sadie Hawkins dance, yes. If she wants to invite a boy from a different high school to her prom, yes. If she’s inviting a promising Sigma Nu to her sorority formal, yes.
Otherwise . . . no, ma'am. 3. How should Southern girls dress for a typical date—say dinner and a movie? in a way that projects how you expect to be treated—and that’s good dating advice for men, too.
Have some pride in your appearance. No wrinkled jeans. No slouchy T-shirts. (It’s called an iron. Look into it.) If you could go straight from your date to the gym without changing clothes, you need an intervention, . 4. Must a gentleman caller always come to the door to pick up his date—and meet her family if she still lives at home? Of course. 5. But if he’s in a hurry, he can just pull up in the driveway and honk his horn, right? Only if he wants to leave alone. And he'd better hope Daddy's not home when he tries it.
6. Who pays for the date? He does. Next question. 7. How do I know he was raised right? [Here Mama is speaking to Southern girls, but what she says is just as instructive to the boys.] Pay attention to the little things.
Does he open every door for you (and that includes the car, the theater, and the restaurant—unless, of course you’re going to the ladies’ room)? Does he listen more than he talks? Does he speak fondly of his family? Does he tell you he’d love to see you again tomorrow night, but he’s volunteering for the children’s ministry at his church? All good. On the other hand, does he talk over you and assure you that you’ll love Hellish Blood and Gore as much as he did the first three times he saw it?
Does he insist that you see a matinee to save money? Is his idea of "having dinner" splitting an order of nachos in the food court? Does he ask you to help him push his 1980 Ford Pinto down a hill to get it started? Bye-bye, now—and don't let the screen door hit you in the backside on the way out. Anything else? To summarize: Look nice. Smell nice. Be nice. Southern Living is part of the Meredith Home Group. © Copyright 2018 Meredith Corporation.
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A lot of guys are confused about how to handle a date nowadays, but men just need to relearn a little old school dating etiquette, and the art of leadership. It’s really not so complicated. Many women can still appreciate some old fashioned chivalry. Does every woman want the old school dating dynamic where the man makes the major decisions, opens the door, and acts as her escort? Of course not, but one thing is certain, you will lose every time if you try to make everybody happy. By applying a few old school dating rituals we should bring back, you will have no problem standing apart from the crowd of men who handle dating with timidity.
Listed below are the 12 old school dating rituals we should bring back: 1. Take on the leadership role Many of the following suggestions will fall under the category of leadership.
To be a leader you must be assertive and act without hesitation or lose your dates interest before you even have a chance to chat. 2. Hold the door open Car doors/restaurant doors, This is dating 101, and it will be noticed. It’s a basic courtesy which I extend to my mother, sister, and friends as well, and it shows you have some manners.
3. Pay the tab The debate rages on about who should pay for the first date, but keep it simple and just pay the damn bill. I’m not talking about a fancy restaurant and an expensive bottle of wine; pick a cool place with an awesome ambiance, and have a drink or a coffee. This doesn’t have to be expensive at all, and you can avoid any awkward moments or looking like a cheapskate. 4. Give her your jacket (on a cold night) Or maybe she has her own jacket, so give her your scarf. It’s a nice gesture which shows that you care.
5. Walk her to her car Or the bus, and even go the extra mile (no pun) and take her home. This is how a gentleman does it. 6. Let her talk If you’re talking the whole time about yourself then you can expect to be dating yourself the following weekend. Ask a couple of questions to get the ball rolling but make sure to let her talk without interruption, and truly listen to what she’s saying. 7. Focus on her You’re there to get to know her, so get to know her.
You will never run out of conversation if you focus on the most interesting conversation topic available, your date.
Don’t just ask about what she does, find out why she does it and go deep. 8. Escort your date Escort your date the old school way, with her taking your arm. If the two of you have a great connection don’t be shy to take her hand. 9. Surprise her Everything doesn’t have to be set ahead of time. Keep an air of mystery before the date; set the place near where you’re going to take her but don’t reveal the exact location or activity.
When she arrives take her to the mystery shop for a coffee , glass of wine, or fun date activity. 10. Set the time and place “Um, where do you want to meet?” is a great way to kill your chances with almost any woman. Once the time has been established it’s time for you to take the lead and set the location.
The last thing your date wants is to be asked to settle the details; you choose the date activity and place. 11. Go for the kiss She’s not going to do it so that means you need to take the helm. Gauge how the date is going, but don’t be afraid of making a mistake and going for the kiss when she’s not interested. If she doesn’t want it you will know quickly, but at the very least you showed initiative, and some balls.
That is attractive in and of itself. 12. Put her jacket on This simple gesture will make her feel well pampered and taken care of. All in all it’s about taking the initiative, leading, and showing some respect. If you’re not afraid of making mistakes along the way, and you’re OK with being rejected, your dates will go much smoother than most men who don’t act decisively. Did you like the article? Help spread the word on these old school dating rituals and post on Facebook. If you have any questions or comments reply below.
Posted by Eddy Baller Eddy is a dating and personal development coach who specializes in building confidence and overcoming shyness. He helps guys crush personal obstacles to become the kind of men that women desire and men respect. Contact Eddy to learn about confidence and dating coaching: email@example.com Post navigation
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