You may often hear about psychopaths, but how about sociopaths? Both psychopath and sociopath are personality disorders that we occasionally find around us. Ads. What is Sociopath?
There are people in the world who don’t care about love, who feel no remorse, empathy or emotional attachment to others. In fact, they don’t even know what these feelings are. These people are called sociopaths. Most of us think of sociopaths as deranged serial killers, but, with four percent of the population having sociopathic character traits, most of them never physically harm anyone.
Sociopaths do, however, ruin lives, empty bank accounts, and cause untold emotional trauma, with the simple excuse that they just don’t care. Even though most sociopaths never kill anyone, they are social predators who exploit just about everyone they meet. They have no heart, no conscience and no remorse. Needless to say, this is not the kind of person you want to open your heart to.
But sociopaths have impressive social skills, thereby making them extremely hard to spot. They are charming, funny and exciting. This is why we need to be aware. You’ll never be able to cure a sociopath or help him see the error of his ways because he doesn’t see the world as the rest of us do. The only thing you can do, is save yourself and walk, no, run away as fast as possible. If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful.
He or she might be a sociopath. 1. Charisma and charm. He’s a smooth talker, always has an answer, never misses a beat. He seems to be very exciting. His manners are impeccable — he’s well groomed and fulfills the codes of romance and courtship to a tee. He’s likely to be an eloquent talker who laces his speech with impressive sounding facts and figures.
2. Enormous ego. He acts like the smartest, richest or most successful person in the room. He may actually come out and tell you that.
3. Overly attentive. He calls, texts and e-mails constantly. He wants to be with you every moment and resents any time you spend with your family and friends. 4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute he loves you, the next minute he hates you.
His personality changes like the flipping of a switch. 5. A blamer. Nothing is ever his fault. He always has an excuse. Someone else is always the cause of his problems. 6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. He tells stupid, outrageous lies when he’d make out better telling the truth. If you probe deeper, you’ll find that his stories never quite add up. 7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare, but if you get a chill down your spine when he looks at you (and not the good kind), pay attention.
8. Fast moving. He quickly proclaims that you’re his true love and soul mate. He wants to move in together or get married quickly.
9. Pity play. He appeals to your sympathy. He wants you to feel sorry for his abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks. 10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be the excess testosterone that sociopaths possess.
best signs of date a sociopath - Sociopath Signs: Are You Dating One? Find Out Now
Researchers estimate that as many as 1 in 25 people are sociopaths, which means that if you’re putting yourself out there, you’ve probably dated one or two of us.
Yes, I’m a sociopath and I’m the first to admit that dating me can be an interesting experience. It’s often difficult to interact and compromise with people, especially if they have vastly different personalities, different backgrounds, and different values. Now, imagine dating someone whose brain is wired to see people as chess pieces and life as a game. You think you’d notice, but you probably wouldn’t. Unless you’re a trained psychologist, you’re not likely to recognize the signs: low empathy, no guilt, shallow emotions, failure to conform to social norms, manipulative, impulsive, narcissistic, without a conscience.
What you’re likely to do is shrug and say, “She’s my kind of crazy.” After all, sociopaths can seem exciting, come off as deliciously deviant, and make great co-conspirators (example: ). Plus, master manipulators are good at hiding their tracks.
You’re much more likely to identify one of us by looking for the following extremely specific behaviors. Bare in mind that you might end up happy being with a sociopath, but you won’t be happy if you don’t know.
1. She Will Be Eager to Data Mine You If sociopaths are narcissistic, they must love to talk about themselves, right? Wrong. A female sociopath is more likely to keep directing the conversation back to a new acquaintance as much as possible.
Unlike narcissists, who artlessly demand others’ approval, sociopaths have a will to power. Consequently, your sociopathic date would rather data mine you than discuss her day. 2. She Will Be Everything You Want Her To Be For millennia, women have been using their powers of seduction to align themselves with strong, wealthy men. Old habits die-hard.
If a sociopath targets you, she will attempt to ensnare you emotionally by conjuring the impression that she is your ideal mate. Like Goldie Hawn in the movie , she will reveal personal information strategically, often to create a false sense of intimacy or trust: “You were a nerd in high school?
Oh my God! I was such a nerd too!” Revelations of actual personal truths are very rare and probably won’t line up with her other stories. If her most emotional reactions feel like a slip of the mask, you may have reason for concern. 3. She Will Be Charming Until She Isn't Sociopaths are chameleons.
If keeping a low profile is not working for her, she can easily flip the switch and become the life of the party. In her role as performer, she'll easily win over large crowds with her confidence.
Ultimately, she’ll vacillate between extremely charismatic and not. As one sociopath observer remarked: “You know how to dance and sing in just the right way in just the right key to make others mesmerized by you.” Once in a while, she may take it just a bit too far, however, perhaps flirting with your boss while his wife stares daggers at her or making hilarious but highly inappropriate jokes about deformed babies.
If she’s becoming a hot mess, she might just be angling to be rescued. 4. She Will Always Want Something Most people manipulate here and there; sociopaths do it constantly. Everything they do is calculated to achieve a particular effect with their audience, whether that effect is to make you feel loved, make you feel grateful and consequently indebted, or make you feel like you’re in the wrong and should grovel. Although the sociopath may have a few rehearsed lines as her classic go-to’s, most of her performance is improv.
Consequently, you can sometimes pick up on “tells” that the sociopath is overthinking what should be a natural reaction. For example, sociopaths frequently hesitate before responding in a conversation. It will be unclear to you whether that means she is bored, annoyed, lying, or all three. 5. She Will Remain Calm Sociopaths have a super-human power to stay serene in even the most upsetting circumstances.
The world could be collapsing around your sociopathic girlfriend and she would calmly considering how best to profit. She will also never be embarrassed. A woman once walked in on me removing my tampon in a public toilet.
She was mortified and I was in hysterics. Another time, after an intense cross-examination of a witness (I was previously a lawyer because of course I was), the judge remarked that he had wanted to come back to check my pulse because I seemed so unnaturally calm. Sociopaths are in constant need of stimulation, so they enjoy risky and novel situations. Shallow emotions blunt any impact of nerves.
6. She Will Give Zero Shits Ever brought a girlfriend home only to have her get into a fight with your mom about how the government handled Benghazi? This will not happen with your sociopath girlfriend.
She does not have strong opinions about politics. It doesn’t bother her in the slightest that the components of her phone were made by sweatshop child laborers. She is definitely not a vegetarian. She understands that certain things are considered right and other things are considered wrong.
She may even have her own idea of what is good and bad behavior in herself and others. But she doesn’t do moral outrage, which can actually be kind of nice. 7. She Will Be Great in Bed Lack of strong emotions plays out in the bedroom in a way that most find pleasantly surprising. Sociopaths have zero shame in the bedroom, no insecurities about their bodies, and no performance anxiety.
Sex isn’t intimacy to your sociopath girlfriend. She doesn’t “make love”; She fucks. The goal is to draw you in deep enough that you’d rather feel pain from her than pleasure from anyone else. 8. She Will Be Emotionally Unavailable If you have ever needed a sympathetic shoulder to cry on or have been that shoulder for someone else to cry on, you are probably not a sociopath.
On the other hand, your sociopath girlfriend thinks you look ugly when you cry. If you’re crying because she’s hurt you, she will not apologize. She will get angry. She may even punch you in the face to give you something to cry about. Maybe you’ve noticed that she has a cold indifference to one or more family members? Seems awkwardly inappropriate at funerals? Somewhat resembles an android, like Data from Star Trek or that one guy from Alien? Be careful what you say in anger, because she has an unsettling tendency to take sarcasm or figures of speech literally.
You probably don’t really wish that the guy who cut you off were dead, so you should clarify that for her. Otherwise she might make it happen. 9. She Will Be Hard to Describe Is your girlfriend vaguely ethnic? Does she have an accent that’s hard to put a finger on? Do people spend a lot of time asking her where she’s from? As much sociopaths strive for conformity there is something undeniably alluring about being “different” that many of us find hard to resist.
If your girlfriend is the most singular person you’ve ever met, she might be a rare flower. She also might not. 10. She Will Be Unclear About Her Past She’s wicked clever and not just a little bit wicked herself, and she seems to have had a thousand past lives and adventures that make you wonder whether she might not be lying about her age. With equal ease she moves seamlessly between taking charge and appearing to defer to your lead, all while anticipating your needs in a way that seems unrealistic outside a episode.
She’s not a “good girl," that much is clear to you, but you just can’t seem to put your finger on why she seems so bad. If this reminds you of your girl, you might want to consider how many other bells this list set off. Photos by Everett Collection
Are you dating a SOCIOPATH? Psychologist reveals the red flags to look out for - including charm, lying and difficulty holding down a job • Australian psychologist Marny Lishman explains how to recognise a sociopath • She says a standard trait of a sociopath is that they are charming and gregarious • Dr Lishman advises while they appear functional, they can act without remorse • She outlines a list of behaviours that can be common to those with this disorder By Published: 00:05 GMT, 21 November 2018 | Updated: 14:49 GMT, 21 November 2018 Many people use the word 'sociopath' flippantly to describe people they dislike, but few understand what the term really means.
In actual fact, most 'sociopaths' have a form of antisocial personality disorder (APD) and as a result have zero disregard for what is right and wrong and rarely care about the feelings of others. Research has found that one in every 25 people has the traits of a sociopath so it's entirely possible that you could be dating one and have no idea - especially as they are often charming and highly charismatic. Australian psychologist recently spoke to FEMAIL about the tell-tale signs of a sociopath and what you should know if you're dating someone with APD.
* Exploits others * Uses charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or for sheer personal pleasure * Intense egocentrism, sense of superiority and exhibitionism * Repeatedly violating the rights of others by the use of intimidation dishonesty and misrepresentation * Lack of empathy for others Source: via Mayo Clinic Charm and gregariousness are their top traits According to Dr Lishman, a sociopath is a person who may be diagnosed with an anti-social personality disorder and is someone who can harm others unconsciously - often with no remorse.
'They do appear functional and are often charming and successful, but deep down they are unconsciously driven by shame and guilt,' she said. Incessant flattery and compliments tend to be among their arsenal of skills and they will often know just what to say in order to get a person to like them.
They have little regard for your feelings A sociopath may be quite charming at the beginning of a relationship and those that have high empathy are often attracted to them, Dr Lishman explained.
However, when they don't get what they want, they will unconsciously manipulate and behave in ways that are cruel. 'They lack morals and are uncaring and ruthless when it comes to getting what they want. This can be very confusing for those on the receiving end.' Australian psychologist Dr Marny Lishman (pictured) explains some of the traits you may observe in a sociopath Sociopaths are skilled liars Manipulation and control tend to loom large as character traits of a sociopath.
While this can take the form of blatant, outrageous lies, on a lesser scale this may appear as a tendency to be untruthful or insincere. 'They can lie as a way to protect themselves,' Dr Lishman said, 'as well as pick on the faults of others and become defensive of themselves if someone calls them out on something.' They can find it difficult to hold down a job Because sociopaths have antisocial elements to their personality, this can cause a range of problems in the workplace.
'They may often be quite ruthless with staff, show a blatant disregard for team members, lack empathy as well as be hard to connect with,' Dr LIshman advised.
'Sociopaths can also show up as a person striving for individualistic gain, they may blame others when things don't go right, push boundaries or break the rules.' It is difficult to treat this disorder because people with ASPD rarely seek treatment, as they do not think that there is anything wrong with the way they behave.
When treatment is given, it is usually when individuals have entered the Corrective Services System and are forced to participate in treatment. No medication is known to be helpful in the treatment of this disorder. However, some medication might be useful in order to manage some of the symptoms. Talk therapy could be helpful for people with ASPD. It may include anger and violence management, substance abuse treatment and treatment for other mental health conditions.
Source: Is there a difference in behaviour between the sexes? Dr Lishman said while some of the underlying traits are the same in the sexes, they express themselves differently. 'Females may be able to express more emotions (although not feel it), and come across as nurturing or attentive or flirty, but are more manipulative. 'They also may have trouble regulating their emotions, similar to those with borderline personality disorder. 'Males tend to be more physically aggressive, overtly manipulative and seemingly unemotional.' * Charming at the beginning * Successful and intelligent * Hard to connect with * Low empathy * Cruel * Don't like negative feedback * Lack Morals / break rules * Lack of remorse and doesn’t learn lessons from consequences * Manipulative (gas lighting behaviour) * Ruthlessness and bullying * Self serving and denies responsibility * Blaming * Lies Can a sociopath destroy you?
Dating someone who displays anti-social behaviour can be problematic for a number of reasons, the psychologist revealed. 'If they don't get what they want, and their ego isn't being fed, they can inflict a considerable amount of damage.' Depending on the level of the sociopath (there are those who are low or high-functioning) the damage can range from sexual promiscuity, physical, emotional or financial damange to longer-term plans that allow the aggrieved person to exact revenge.
'Sociopaths do have a mental health disorder and need help too. But they rarely do get it as they feel that they don’t need it,' Dr Lishman said. 'It's a very sad situation. If people do feel they have these signs, seeing a psychologist would help greatly.' If you are concerned that someone you know is showing signs of Antisocial Personality Disorder, it is important to seek help from a skilled mental health professional.
Talking to your doctor is a good place to start. If you'd like to find out more or talk to someone else, here are some organisations that can help: SANE Australia (people living with a mental illness) – call 1800 18 7263 beyondblue (anyone feeling depressed or anxious) – call 1300 22 4636 or chat online Black Dog Institute (people affected by mood disorders) – online help Lifeline (anyone having a personal crisis) – call 13 11 14 or chat online Suicide Call Back Service (anyone thinking about suicide) – call 1300 659 467 Source: MORE DON'T MISS • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
HOW TO IDENTIFY A SOCIOPATH