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My 16 yo is a sweet kid. He gets very good grades, is a role model at his school and is very tall, dark and handsome. Lots of gals at school would like to date him but he has been bitten by the love bug by a senior cheerleader.
They have been "dating" since October and we try to keep things as non-serious as possible (he isn't allowed at her house unless her mom is home and vice-versa, only group dates, etc.) I never, in a million years thought my son would have a girlfriend at age 16, let alone one who is 18.5! My son excels at sports...so much so that he has been told he could go to a D1 school (the highest level in college sports) if he dedicates himself to it. I never had a serious boyfriend in high school. I spent time with friends and dedicated myself to my own athletics.
He has those aspirations but I just hope he isn't distracted by her all summer. I like the gal enough and my son is happy when she's around. But she'll be going off to college 3 hours away in August. I really don't like the idea of my 16 year old dating a college freshman. I hope she'll break up with him once she's away at school or before but from what I have been told, she is really smitten by him. I'm not one of those moms who says my kid can't have my girlfriend. I know that will backfire on me and he'll like her even more.
It's just hard when he is so much younger than her (he's mature for his age) and I would hate to see him make a decision that he could really reget (if you get my drift). BTW, he's my only child and I must admit, since we are close, this whole letting go thing isn't easy. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar and how you handled it! My younger sister is 18 and is a senior in high school but is dating a college freshman.
They're "so in love" and he gave her a promise ring and I just hope this kind of goes away. I can sense how you feel because I feel that way about my sister. That said, I did the same thing, actually when I was in high school, the guy was OUT of college. My family instilled in me that love can wait and if it's love then what's the rush. They also said not to get deterred by anything or anyone and finish what I want.
I hope you can make your son understand the importance of his academics and athletics. What you wrote about your son could have been written from my own autobiography. I began dating the man who has now been my husband for 17 years when he was a sophomore and I was a senior. He was an all star athlete and I was the senior cheerleader. We truly began very slowly and built our friendship. He's been my best friend ever since.
We went to different colleges, as he went away to school to play basketball and baseball, and I went away to a state school two hours away. We were engaged after six years of dating and married the next. We have three wonderfull children and we're both teachers. You just never know. Sorry, It's not really advice...trust your son and keep the lines of communication open. Quote: BTW, he's my only child and I must admit, since we are close, this whole letting go thing isn't easy.
Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar and how you handled it! My situation has its similarities. My junior DD has been dating a senior for the last 1.5 years.
He told her early on that he is going away to college single. These are both high achieving good kids who are involved in lots of extra curricular clubs and activities. I think DD is much more emotionally involved than he is though. I'm worried that her heart will be broken this summer. I feel like I am watching a train wreck in slow motion. I did try to talk to her about breaking up last summer. But, she likes him and decided to see it through.
It's not my choice to make and she could be dating a lot worse so I left it up to her. But it is so hard to watch. I guess I'll just be ready with the Kleenex when the break up finally happens. The chances of this "cougar" relationship continuing is very very slim at best. Let him enjoy the high school relationship now because it will soon end and they will move on to new relationships.
Oh...the decision Mom has probably already been made regardless of what he tells you. Have the talk and make sure he is being safe. And this comes from a Mom who has raised all boys and most of their friends too. Good luck! wow; in our situation; the tables are turned...my son is 18 and has a 16 year old gf.
They began dating when he was 17 and I told him that I'm sure her parents would become uneasy when he turned 18. So, we went through the "respect her and yourself" speech, etc... They just broke up but are still on each other's FB. I must say though that both of them are devoted to their studies and upcominig "careers" after college graduation and I'm glad, of course. I can only say, keep the lines of communcation open.
I have a feeling that things are going to change when your son's gf heads off to college which is normal. I would predict that when she goes off to college things will change. If she is a cheerleader in high school, I would think that in college she will be involved in activities and making friends. She will probably be so busy that she will not have time to come home and things will calm down.
Who knows, he might find someone else before then! When my boys started dating, my friend told me, "Don't get attached to the girl!" That's because most likely they will end up going their separate ways. As a mother of 2 boys, I do get attached to whoever they are dating, but I've learned (the hard way!) to keep my mouth shut re: their relationships. They figure it out, just like I did when I was their age.
btw- I met my DH when I was in my 20's, but I am 2 years older than he is. I didn't know until we were already dating, but it really doesn't matter once you're out of MS or HS.
DATING A SENIOR AS A FRESHMAN?!? (H.S Q&A)