Relationship coach and author of Get the Guy, Matthew Hussey, answers your dating questions and reveals the secrets of finding, attracting and keeping a man. Matthew's advice will help you get your love life back on track!. Q: I've been in love with my best friend's boyfriend for a while, and now they've recently broken up. Soon afterwards we spent the night together. But now I'm not sure if I should tell her, or what it even means to him.
The sex part and the relationship part are two different things. Some guys have experience in one but not the other. If a guy is my age, mid 40s, and has never had a long term relationship (like, 10 years or so), that is a huge red flag. He won't have needed interpersonal skills. And there is probably some reason no woman stayed with him, something he is hiding.
With lack of sexual experience, there is the danger that he will think porn is real. Or that all women like what his one ex liked.
But for a woman who does not have a lot of experience,a guy who also doesn't is perfect. Two people in their teens or early 20s for example. Maybe some women believe that a man with no experience may not have the sexual chops to do what needs to be done?
More than that. If he is older than, say, 23 or 24 and has never even kissed a girl, I would think there was some kind of psychological or cognitive disability going on there.
It's not the inexperience that's the problem, it is the troubling diagnosis. That is a lot for a healthy young woman to have to deal with.