Below I explain about different kinds of relationships but notice how they are all on a spectrum. Also notice that the meanings of these words are different from person to person – even the ‘obvious’ ones like …. Monogamy. This is where two people decide to have a sexual or romantic relationship with just each other and make it their rule that they can only do this with each other Some people say this is the ‘best’ way to get to know someone – maybe, maybe not. Dating generally involves meeting someone that you don’t know in order to see whether you want some kind of relationship with each other. Some people choose to only date one person at a time because they want to devote their thoughts and energies to one person (exclusive dating). Others have a bit of an overlap.
Different kinds of abuse in relationships aren’t as clear as we might think. Passion isn’t always love. Different kinds of abuse in relationships make up a mind bending kaleidoscope of domestic abuse, additionally, abusers aren’t simply wounded souls. Not only are the different kinds of abuse elusive, we hear a lot of words used to talk about abusers from narc to narcopath to narcissist but there’s more.
I’m Zoe Parsons from and body image — Different kinds of abuse can seem like passion. Different Kinds of Abuse Can Seem Like Passion I was living in different kinds of abuse for six years, it started out like any normal relationship, until it became clear I’d been tricked by a man who took advantage of me and was a narcissistic abuser namely, a sociopath. Ultimately, sociopaths are pure narcissism and bring only harm.
When I met the man who deceived and used me, I didn’t know about different kinds of abuse or the things we see afterwards as . I thought domestic violence, abuse was a black eye, Know Different Kinds of Abuse and Signs of Being Used and Abused I didn’t know there are many different kinds of abuse with signs that come first from ourselves, and because he never gave me a black-eye, I thought our relationship was just passionate!
I’ve been free for three years now; If you can understand what abuse is and how it happens, it makes it easier to move forward from it and heal. All Different Kinds of Abuse Make Us Feel Bad About Ourselves One of the effects of the abuse was thinking badly about my self. For the first time in my life, I started to have a negative body image. So let’s talk about the different kinds of abuse I mentioned earlier. Emotional Abuse 1. Emotional abuse is an attack on your emotions and feelings.
, it’s abusive. When we’re being stopped from expressing our self, it’s abusive. . Let’s Look at Kinds of Emotional Abuse • Calling you names and putting you down. • Yelling and screaming at you.
• Intentionally embarrassing you in public. • Preventing you from seeing or talking with friends and family. • Telling you what to do and wear. • Blaming your actions for their abusive or unhealthy behavior. • Accusing you of cheating and being jealous of your outside relationships. • Threatening to commit suicide to keep you from breaking up with them.
• Threatening to harm you, your pet or people you care about. • Saying things to confuse or manipulate you, this is what people call “gaslighting”. • Making you feel guilty when you don’t consent to sexual activity. • Threatening to expose your secrets. • Threatening to have your children taken away. Different Kinds of Abuse Allow Us to Break Leases Want to move to escape abuse? First, write to your landlord explaining you’re leaving due to, “credible imminent threat” under the Safe Home Act.
Don’t forget, your landlord needs 30-days notice and the keys. You’re free to leave before the 30 days are up. It only takes fear of an abuser to qualify; no police report, no P.O. Be sure to find out about this in your state.
Physical Abuse 2. Physical abuse is any intentional and unwanted contact. Be aware, this can be objects thrown at you or fists. Sometimes it’s the wall they punch, this is still abuse. . • Scratching, pinching, punching, biting, strangling or kicking. • Throwing something at you such as a phone, book, shoe or plate.
• Pulling your hair. • Shaking, pushing or pulling you. • Grabbing your clothing. • Using a gun, knife, box cutter, bat, or other weapon. • Grabbing your face to make you look at them.
• Grabbing you to prevent you from leaving or to force you to go somewhere. • Scalding or burning you. • Spitting on you. • Forcing you to swallow something that hurts you, or medication you don’t need. • Damaging your property; throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors. Sexual Abuse 3. Sexual abuse is any action that pressures or coerces you to do something sexually you don’t want to do. It can involve begging, insults, threats, force, violence, name calling, blackmail. • Unwanted kissing or touching.
• Unwanted rough or violent sexual activity. • Rape or attempted rape. • Refusing to use condoms or restricting your access to birth control. • Making sexual contact with you if you are very drunk, drugged, unconscious. • Threatening someone into unwanted sexual activity. • Carrying our sexual activity when we haven’t been able to say “yes” or “no”. • Pressuring or forcing you to have sex or perform sexual acts. • Pressuring you to let them video or take photos of sexual activity or poses.
• Putting you down for not having a threesomes or do other things you don’t want to. • Forcing you into prostitution.
• Putting you down for not engaging in sexual things you don’t want to do. And the flip side: Claiming you want sex too much, making you feel bad for wanting intimacy. Claiming impotence when there is no medical reason for it.
Refusing to be intimate or sexual with you. Financial Abuse 4. Financial abuse can be very subtle. It can include telling you what you can and can’t buy or requiring you to share control of your bank accounts. At no point does someone have the right to use money to control you.
• Giving you an allowance and closely watching what you buy. • Placing your paycheck in their account and denying you access to it. • Keeping you from seeing shared bank accounts or records. • Forbidding you to work or limiting the hours you do. • Preventing you from going to work by taking your car or keys. • Getting you fired by harassing you, your employer or coworkers on the job.
• Using your details to obtain bad credit loans without your permission. • Maxing out your credit cards without your permission. • Refusing to give you money, food, rent, medicine or clothing. • Using funds from a joint savings account without your knowledge. • Spending money on themselves but not allowing you to do the same. • Giving you presents or paying for things expecting you to “return the favor”. Digital Abuse 5.
Digital abuse is the use of technology to block, bully, harass, or stalk you. Another form is, limiting or setting rules about when you can use your digital devices or contact friends or how you use social media.
Remember, in a healthy relationship, all communication is respectful whether in person, online or by phone. • Tells you who you can or can’t be friends with on social media. • Sends you negative, insulting or even threatening emails or online messages. • Uses social media sites to keep constant tabs on you. • Puts you down in their status updates. • Sends you unwanted, explicit pictures and/or demands you send some in return.
• Pressures you to send explicit video or sexts. • Steals or insists on being given your passwords. • Constantly texts you and makes you feel like you can’t be separated from your phone for fear you will be punished.
• Frequently looks through your phone, your pictures, texts and outgoing calls. • Uses technology such as, spyware, a gps tracker or audio bug to monitor you. Spiritual Abuse 6.
Spiritual abuse isn’t limited to a certain religion or denomination. Any person is capable of perpetrating spiritual abuse including pastors, ministers or other representatives of a belief system or group. Some claim authority and to be the gateway to spiritual freedom that doesn’t exist without them.
Sadly, in abuse, our significant other can take on this role too. • Abuse is anyone ridiculing or insulting your religious or spiritual beliefs. • Prevents you from practicing your religious or spiritual beliefs.
• Uses your religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate or shame you. • Forces the children to be raised in a faith that you have not agreed to. • Uses religious writings or beliefs to minimize or rationalize abusive behaviors, such as physical, financial, emotional or sexual abuse and marital rape. Abuse is about controlling and using others for their own gain – not love! Abusers will use various tactics to keep you manageable and in their “possession”.
These tactics are what keep you trapped, confused, going around in circles, not knowing what’s happening. The only way to break this cycle is to remove yourself from it, you need to leave or get them removed from your home. You may be like me, thinking the relationship is just full of passion rather than full of many kinds of abuse. I thought maybe it was that we were culturally different, that I was doing something wrong and making him unhappy.
These kinds of abuse caused me to change myself to win his approval… , I wouldn’t wear my favorite dress anymore because he said it made men look at me. He said he did all the things he did that were truly kinds of abuse because he wanted to protect me and keep me safe, because he “loved” me.
– This is not love, this is abuse. I want you to know that a happy ending is possible, but you won’t find it with an abusive partner or any of the different kinds of abuse in a relationship. I’ve been free three years now, and I’m happier now than ever before. He’s in prison for what he did to me, and I’m making a safe and happy life with my daughter. If I can get free, so can you! Thank you Zoe Parsons, for sharing your story and your thoughts! Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
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best different kinds of dating relationships - Types Of Relationships
Wednesday, August 24, 2016 5 Different Kinds of Love By Love is a frequent topic in my office. Some patients ask themselves: Do I really love this new person in my life? Or is it just infatuation?
Others ask: Do I still love my spouse after all these years? And is it the “right kind of love” to keep me in my marriage? Others struggle with conflicted feelings related to their parents or their children. While love songs, poems and movies make love seem pretty easy to define and identify, it’s really not always so easy to know whether what we are feeling is, in fact, love.
Of course, you love the important people in your life in different ways. Gaining an understanding of the different ways that you love, and who they apply to, can help you to decide what next steps you’d like to take.
Here are a few different kinds of love you might experience in your relationships – starting with the most basic: • Love for people: The Greeks called this kind of love agape.
It is the love you feel for someone because they are human, just like you. You have empathy for their experiences, compassion for their pain, and can find forgiveness for them in your heart because you know what it is like to have weaknesses, frailties, and to be imperfect.
When you feel and nurture this kind of love, you help yourself to become a more loving, compassionate person. • Caretaking love: People feel this type of love for those who are dependent upon them.
Sometimes it is part of an ongoing role, such as being a parent. Sometimes people grow into the role, as in caring for an aging parent or a spouse with a degenerative disease. And sometimes it is temporary, such as with a good friend who is recovering from surgery. Caretaking love is mostly about giving, though you “receive” some good feelings in doing so. Understanding as a caretaker is important because when you are pouring out caretaking love, it is essential that you also turn elsewhere to feel loved for who you are as a person (not your caretaking role).
People who fail to do this are more likely to become resentful and/or expect too much from their loved one who needs to be taken care of. • Platonic love: This is the love you feel for those whose friendship you value. You like, care about, respect, and feel warmly toward these friends. While it might be okay to feel this way toward someone who does not seem to return the feelings, you want most of your friendships to include a reciprocated feeling of platonic love.
This supports your feeling valued and viewing yourself positively. • Deep connection: Some relationships are so much a part of your life that they are a part of you. This often includes family, friends from childhood, and spouses or partners who have been with you for decades. Many people have come to my office in search of whether this kind of connection is enough for marriage.
They’ve been with their spouse “forever” and can’t imagine leaving; and yet they also wonder whether their love is not enough for a marriage. They wonder whether they should be expecting more. This is not a question that can be answered easily or lightly. Each person needs to decide for themselves what is essential for them in marriage.
• Passionate love: This is the love sung about by poets. It is equal parts exhilaration and painful longing. It is intense and exciting… and short-lived. It is no more or less important than the other kinds of love. However, when people are intoxicated by it, they often lose perspective. Be wary of making decisions based on this kind of love. I have been privy to the struggles of people who have done all kinds of things for passion, such as cheating on their spouses, giving away their money, and rejecting their families.
No matter how real your feelings are in the moment, they will change. And when they do, you need to ask yourself whether you will still think your actions were wise.
Each of these kinds of love has value, and liability. And the truth is, more than one of these types – maybe even all of them – might apply to a single relationship, though probably not all at the same time. When you struggle in a relationship, consider which types of love apply to it, both in the present and in the past. With this to guide you, you can better decide how you might want to nurture your relationship and grow the love you feel, or the love you’d like to feel. Further Reading: Entries for the Relationships blog are for general educational purposes only.
They may or may not be relevant for your particular situation; and they should not be relied upon as a substitute for individual professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional. The opinions expressed in WebMD Second Opinion are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training.
These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD Second Opinion are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.
WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service or treatment. Do not consider Second Opinion as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider.
If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately. Dr. Becker-Phelps is a well-respected psychologist, who is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and what they need to do to become emotionally and psychologically healthy. She accomplishes this through her work as a psychotherapist, speaker and writer. She is the author of the book Insecure in Love.
The difference between dating and being in a relationship is commitment. If you are going out with someone on a regular basis, and you and your partner have agreed to date only one another, then you are in a committed relationship. However, if you are dating a person and neither of you have agreed to date exclusively, then you are not in a relationship and you are both free to also date other people. Some of the most heartbreaking relationship problems can be caused by lack of communication.
It is important to discuss your relationship status with your partner so you can get on the same page. A mutual agreement is necessary for determining where you are in your relationship. If any of this is unclear to you, at any point in the dating process, you should discuss it with your partner. Prior to talking, you should sort out how you feel about the relationship, aside from anything your partner may feel, and decide what you want or need from your partner.
The book, "Getting Love Right: Learning the Choices of Healthy Intimacy," suggests asking yourself the following questions: "Are the people you are presently involved with capable of giving you what you want in a relationship? Do you share similar expectations for the relationship? Are you currently involved with someone who has the potential to be a healthy partner?" After giving these questions some thought, you will need to have a discussion with the person you are dating.
So, you are confused about the status of your dating relationship and you need to have "the big talk". How do you bring it up? The best way to have this discussion is directly, and in a friendly manner. Also, it is best talk in person. Discussing your dating life via phone, e-mail or text allows for miscommunication. Be direct and ask the person whom you are seeing if they want to be exclusive or not. If the person you are seeing is reluctant to discuss the status of your relationship, give them a few days to consider it.
If they still shy away from discussion, this could be a red flag. Occasionally, you might date someone who displays confusing and sometimes manipulative actions or behaviors. For example: You have discussed it and have decided not to have a committed relationship, only casual dating. However, your date becomes possessive when your cell phone rings, or someone says hello. Or, your date will attempt to convince you that they are only seeing you, but they won’t actually commit.
In either of these cases, you should reevaluate your relationship and consider whether or not you want to be involved with a person who is manipulative.
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