Single And Over 50? Check Out These Dating Sites. Lindsay Tigar. October 31, 2018. Share. Tweet. Flip. 0. Shares Over the hill — or over being single? We feel ya. No matter what age you are when you’re seeking a certain someone who could be the someone, the process of getting started is overwhelming. And disheartening. And, at times, downright sad. Throw in a few pounds of baggage from previous relationships, wrinkles from hearty, happy experiences and trials, and all of your longstanding quirks that make you unique, and you might worry that finding love for older singles is an impossible task. Take a deep breath, and before you throw in the towel or raise your white flag in defeat, remember there are pl .
's Monica Porter, who dated "dangerously" for a year, shares nine top tips to help protect yourself, including: don't believe anything, be careful who you get into bed with and split the check. If you're looking for romance through online dating, make skepticism your starting point, says Monica.
The world of online dating should be regarded as a vast pick-up joint. I know because I immersed myself in it for a year (in my late fifties), and believe me, whether I was encountering horny young men or equally horny (if less crude) older men, the ultimate aim was sex. That doesn't mean you can't find a serious relationship, even real love, online.
After all, a lot of today's married couples met on a dating site. But if that is what you are after, you must be extra wary of (pardon the expression) who you "get into bed with." As a mature adult you'll need to employ all the healthy skepticism you've built up over the decades, because it's easy on the internet for a person to be economical with the truth, or to tell outright lies about who they are and what they're after.
Rule #1 of dating over 50: Don't believe anyone. So, lesson number one: believe in nothing until it happens, and no one until you know them. Emotionally, you need to construct a wall around yourself which nobody can penetrate until you believe it to be safe. People will plunder your emotions without compunction if you let them.
It is up to you keep them locked up, like jewels. Some women, in particular, leave themselves emotionally vulnerable by investing too much hope in a particular potential mate, or after physical intimacy with someone. If you meet someone you fancy, by all means enjoy good, fun sex. But - hard-nosed as it sounds, and I can't pretend it's always easy - take the emotion out of it or you will be hurt over and over again.
If and when a deeper relationship comes along, don't worry, emotion will come flooding back. Then there is the scamming side of online dating. Most people have heard the woeful tales of vulnerable, lonely women preyed on by men who promise them love before persuading them to stump up big bucks for a bogus medical bill or some other phony hard-luck scenario. But it works both ways. There are also the glamorous young foreign women (often revealed to be prostitutes) who expertly manipulate an older man's vanity as an easy way into his wallet, or perhaps to gain British nationality.
Rule #2: Don't part with money. Lesson number two: if it all sounds too wonderful to be true, that's because it's a lie. Whatever you do, don't open your wallet to a stranger, especially the ones whispering sweet nothings into your computer. And those aren't the only online dating scams. One middle-aged Indian gent I dined with during my dating escapades told me about the "gorgeous young blonde" of vaguely Eastern European origin who seductively chatted him up online before conning him into returning her call on an expensive "sexual services" number.
He was too embarrassed to hang up and by the time he ended it, half an hour later, he'd added $70 to his phone bill. The poor mug had never asked himself why a sexy pouting 25-year-old would throw herself at a fifty-something divorcee.
Rule #3: Beware of profile photos. Mind you, he hadn't been entirely honest himself. His online photo showed a younger, better looking man than the ropey, dentally challenged individual sitting opposite me in the restaurant. It is common for dating site users to edit themselves in some way. Some purport to be single, while having a hapless spouse at home.
These are usually the candidates without a profile photo. Never respond to contact from the 'faceless'. Rule #4: Don't use sites for older people. There are thousands of dating sites. It can be overwhelming, and tricky to choose the right one. My first few weeks online were spent in trial and error.
To begin with I used a dating site designed for principally for seniors, but I would advise against this. Think about it. It attracts the sort of people who only feel safe among their own age group. Don't cut yourself off from the young and their culture, as they help to keep you young too.
Bigger, mainstream, all-generations sites tend to be less staid and a bit more funky. Match.com and eHarmony are among the most popular, and allow you to cast a wide net. You will meet both people who want a proper relationship and those merely in search of fun and games.
Other users, irritatingly, don't seem to know what they want; they just like being in the playground. Remember that like any other business, dating sites want your money, and they have been known to employ tricks to encourage you to sign up, such as using fake profiles of potential partners who "want to contact you".
Rule #5: Try dating apps. OK, it's not really a rule, but another option is the dating app for your smartphone, which matches you with people in your geographical area, if you have both registered a mutual attraction. I spent a wild week or two on Tinder, meeting younger men. What good fun.
But Tinder isn't for everybody. If you are over 50 and looking for something a bit more, um, traditional, there is a new app for you, called Stitch. It's being trialled at the moment in the US and Australia. As with Tinder, only people who like the look and sound of each other will be able to make contact. But the site is meant to be as much about finding someone for friendship and companionship, as for romance and rumpy pumpy. Despite its frequent frustrations and disappointments, I loved my adventurous year of internet dating.
I met a staggering array of people, had some good times, and learnt a lot - about myself and others. My 'dangerous dating' was brought to an abrupt end due to an unexpected turn of events and in any case I was beginning to feel it had run its natural course.
And since the book was published, I have been contacted by many men asking to meet me - so I don't feel tempted to do any more internet dating. However, online dating is a world of opportunity, courtesy of our wondrous modern technology. Delve in. And good luck. Four more tips for online dating • Try a few different sites, subscribing for the minimum period on each (usually a month) until you find the right one.
• Don't provide intimate details about yourself until you feel comfortable with the person you are dealing with. • Never give money to anyone for anything. If you are a woman, at most offer to split the cost of drinks or a meal. • Be friendly but on your guard. Enter a dating site as you would walk through a slightly sketchy part of town: looking over your shoulder and holding on to your valuables.
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best over 50 dating rules - Top 7 Dating Over 50 Sites
Dating can be a minefield, especially if you feel rusty when it comes to modern dating rules. Whether you’re newly divorced, separated, widowed, or just haven’t dated in a while, we’ve compiled the ultimate dating advice for over 50s. Mature singles, rejoice! Turns out you might find dating has gotten easier than you’d expect.
Modern Dating Rule 1: Waiting is Over One of the most extreme changes in the world of modern courtship is that everyone has access to technology. Your phone and computer are powerful tools and dating essentials. This means the best dating advice you need is when, and how often, should you be contacting your current partner or potential beau?
Luckily, waiting by the telephone for your crush to call is a thing of the past. Don’t wait for a predetermined amount of time, game playing is no fun for anyone. Instead, text whenever you feel the urge but keep your messages . For example, instead of texting ‘How r u this mornin?’, text ‘Gorgeous sunrise on my morning walk, did you wake suitably rested?’ Correct spelling and grammar are back in fashion and your date will think you’ve sent them a thoughtful and romantic text - win-win.
Modern Dating Rule 2: Dinner and Drinks are Out Watching a classic 90’s rom-com and you’re guaranteed a date scene set in a slightly fancy restaurant with a very dressed up couple. How many people have been on a date like that? Nowadays, not very many; modern dating rules dictate that dates should comfortable, casual, and most importantly - fun!
This especially applies to online dating advice; meeting someone offline can be a tad stressful, so break the ice with a really fun idea for a date. Outside activities like a trip to a park or zoo can be fun Or. if you know your date is a culture buff, then an art gallery, museum or cinema is a good idea.
Just remember, no stuffy dinner and drinks, it creates too much tension for anybody to let their hair down! Modern Dating Rule 3: What You Like on Facebook Matters Dating tips for men and dating tips for women have merged into one in the modern world. Your gender doesn’t matter when it comes to one of the most important modern dating rules - social media usage. Chances are your only social network will be Facebook, , and your date will only be able to see what you do if you add them.
, don’t add someone on a social network until you’ve met them in real life and decided they seem like they are truly interested. If you’ve met on an online dating platform like SilverSingles then only message within the website until you’ve met offline, this way our Customer Care team can keep you protected.
So, you’ve added your date on Facebook, what’s the problem? Just remember that people can see most of your activity on Facebook so remember that when you post statuses or share things you like that you might be judged by your date. Make sure your profile truly reflects your amazing personality and your date will probably become more enamoured with you!
Modern Dating Rule 4: Proper Texting Etiquette We’ve already covered that waiting is over when it comes to dating and our top flirting advice is to be confident in your approach. However, this attitude couldn’t be more different when it comes to casual texting. Try to exercise a little restraint. Imagine the scenario; you’ve seen each other a few times but how often should you text? Honestly, it all depends what kind of texter you are, what kind of texter your date is, and how much you’re willing to compromise.
There’s a fine line to walk between being overbearing and distant So, what’s our best dating advice here? Go with your gut! If you’re not getting responses to texts then maybe cool off for a period, but don’t go silent! If you start playing games than you’ll never be able to communicate your true feelings. Instead, text about the exciting things you’re doing, it'll intrigue your potential partner and suggest that you’ve got such a busy social life.
Modern Dating Rule 5: Don’t Expect Relationship Definition One of the most prominent modern dating rules for over 50s - and a generally a great dating tip - is not to expect your relationship to be defined quickly.
Present day romance could be viewed as very casual and laissez-faire to the outside observer, but in reality this perspective is very freeing. Instead of focusing on the outcome of a relationship, i.e. ’where is this all going?’ focus on actually enjoying the relationship as it is - undefined and exciting. This approach isn’t for everyone and if it sounds awful to you, then just make sure your partner knows. Don’t be afraid of asking if they would like to continue casually dating or are they looking to make a commitment at some point.
Most important dating rule? Make sure you’re happy first. Modern Dating Rule 6: Self Love is Paramount Over 50s rejoice, the best modern dating rule is to appreciate yourself! That’s right, in the age of mindfulness, yoga and clean eating, looking after your own wants, needs, and desires is as important as finding a date in the first place.
Before you start dating, think about what you want out of this experience and how past relationships could affect that. Trying an online dating platform like is a great place to start because creating a profile, setting filters based on preferences, and chatting to lots of suitors is a brilliant way to access what you want.
Remember, dating is supposed to be fun, so look out for red flags and think about what is important to you in a relationship.
A and idea of dating is the best way to create something meaningful and long-lasting. Not sure where to start? Modern Dating Rule 7: Who Pays?
Is asking who pays on a date one of the most controversial modern dating rules? Well, unfortunately, yes. Even in 2018, there is still a debate raging about what is the proper dating etiquette when it comes to paying for a meal or drinks. Here at SilverSingles, we think there’s no hard and fast rule and it should be figured out on an individual basis. Simply put, if you want to pay for the meal then you should.
If you’re worried this may offend the other person or it’ll make them feel like you owe something, then say something offhand and cute like ‘I’ll get this and you’ll get our next date?’ Wry, smart, and just a touch flirty - the perfect line to end a great date.
As a date coach for women over 50 and an author who’s been writing about the subject for over a decade, I cover a variety of issues, including getting back into dating, trying online dating for the first time, and the art of asking a baby boomer out. Today, though, I’m going to take you through some of my overall top dating do’s and don’ts for singles who are in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond. If it’s been more than three or four months since you’ve updated your online dating profile, it’s time to do some revamping.
, and users will look past profiles that seem to be old. Add more recent photos and interests, like exercise activities, hiking, tennis, or golf because it’ll make you look like someone they missed. Just like your house or apartment could use some cleaning every now and then, so could your online dating profile. Even adding a new pictures and hobbies will do a world of wonders.
Reworking your profile does take a good amount of effort, but to catch the big fish, you’ve got to use fresh bait. More than four years ago, I met my now-partner online, but we had been avoiding each other on the same dating site for a year.
Once we forgot about our “types” and broadened our parameters, new opportunities opened up for the both of us. There’s no exact formula to dating, but it’s not all about throwing darts at a board or kissing a lot of frogs either. Rocket ride relationships typically occur on or right after a first date. A couple becomes sexual immediately without any emotional attachment, and the relationship takes off like a rocket.
Sadly, the relationship crashes and burns nearly as quickly once both people realize there was no real basis for a relationship beyond sex.
It’s good to have enthusiasm for dating like you did when you were younger, but try to be realistic and don’t jump into sexual relationships too quickly. Photo source: . Most single boomers have ridden a fair number of rockets, and a majority of the time, they’ve blasted off hopefully but naively.
Oddly, the raw nerves that result after another in a series of crashed rockets surprisingly give many boomers only a temporary pause before they board the next rocket.
If you’re still willing to take a rocket ride with someone equally delusional, then consider it may be time to . Try new activities and go beyond your dating “type” — you’ll be amazed at the possibilities that open up to you. If you’ve been fishing in the same pond for a long time, spring is the ideal season for trying a new one.
Drop your old, failed type and widen your search parameters. It’ll amaze you how many date possibilities will pop up when you do so. Nothing will make a first date more awkward than someone talking about his or her ex.
If you’re not over them, don’t start dating. If your date is holding on to the past, you should move on. If you’re not over your ex, put dating on the back burner until you are. Spend time with friends who can help you and who care for you. On the flip side, if it’s your date who isn’t’ over his or her ex, you might want to rethink the situation.
I always tell my clients not to date someone who’s been out of a relationship for less than a year. Dates are opportunities to get to know each other, but you shouldn’t be rattling off all the negative things that are going on in your life.
Photo source: . I cannot understand why someone would share this type of information on a first date. It’s true — a major illness needs to be disclosed. However, perhaps that should be done before the date, especially if it limits someone’s ability to function normally. But if it’s stories about your bad knee or downhill ski accident, those are better for another time. Every person and every relationship has problems, but try to keep your nerves at a minimum to avoid being an emotionally needy date or partner.
Yes, all relationships have their problems, and who’ve done the emotional work to resolve them. However, this isn’t a second-nature skill. It takes time and effort, and one person can’t save a relationship. Don’t try to win your date over by exaggerating who you are. Eventually, you’re going to have to cash the checks your ego is writing.
Photo source: . Another former client of mine told me about the first and last date she had with a man who verbally abused the waiter for no reason. What sealed his fate was he continued ranting about not getting his water glass refilled during the entire dinner.
Nothing is less attractive than lack of self-control. Dating may not be as complicated as rocket science, but it still has its difficult moments. Try to find a date who is as much like you as possible, and never try to fit a square peg into a round hole.
Knowing when to walk away can spare you a lot of grief down the road. Honor yourself and your values by dating someone who shares them. Good luck on your search. If you need help, I’m available for date coaching. Cover image source: Disclaimer: Great efforts are made to maintain reliable data on all offers presented. However, this data is provided without warranty.
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Dating Over 50 - 11 Myths About Dating Over 50 - Dating Tips