До сорока лет жизнь Эллы Рубинштейн протекала мирно и размеренно. Образцовая хозяйка, прекрасная мать и верная жена, она и предположить не могла, что принесет ей знакомство с рукописью никому не известного автора. Читая «Сладостное богохульство», Элла перестает понимать, где находится — в небольшом американском городке в двадцать первом веке или в тринадцатом столетии в Малой Азии? С таинственным автором романа она переписывается или же с самим Шамсом из Тебриза, знаменитым и загадочным странствующим дервишем?
The Forty Rules of Love is a novel by Elif Shafak and published in 2010. Here is a short review, summary as well as features of The Forty Rules of Love pdf. The Forty Rules of Love pdf Review: Elif Shafak has presented the narratives of two thirteenth century Islamic mystics in this novel. The book broadly divides into part based on famous Sufi mystics Shams Tabriz as well as Jalaluddin Rumi. The book after its publishing quickly became popular among readers. It also translates into various languages and is among the most selling books around the world.
It has earned much fame to the author Elif Shafak. About Author Elif Shafak : Elif Shafak is a Turkish author, columnist and speaker. She writes in both Turkish as well as in English and is the most famous Turkish women writer. Her books have been translated into about 40 languages. Her major works include Forty Rules of Love, Bastard of Istanbul and Gaze. The Forty Rules of Love Summary pdf: The novel narrates story of Ella Rubenstein, who is a forty years old lady who is unhappily married.
She takes a job as a reader for literary agent. Her first task is to review a novel by an author named Aziz Zahara, and described Shams quest and his meeting with Rumi. Ella enjoys the Sham’s struggle to find Rumi and his transformation from a cleric to a mystic. The novel alternates between contemporary narrative of Ella and thirteenth century narrative of Shams and Rumi. Features of The Forty Rules of Love pdf: Here are some of the features of this book: • One of the most famous novels of contemporary literature.
• Presents famous Muslims sufi mystics in a very interesting way. • Also a masterpiece of Elif Shafak. Buy The Forty Rules of Love at discount price: You can buy The Forty Rules of Love from amazon at discount price with free shipping.
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Rule 1 How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we. Rule 2 The path to the Truth is a labour of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge and ultimately prevail over your nafs with your heart.
Knowing your ego will lead you to the knowledge of God. Rule 3 You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue or church.
But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover. Rule 4 Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advices, ‘Beware too much ecstasy’, whereas love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble.
But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures. Rule 5 Most of problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstanding. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language, as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence. Rule 6 Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path.
Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is the best to find a person who will be your mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you. Rule 7 Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair.
Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied. Rule 8 Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to look at the end of a process. What does patience mean?
It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full. Rule 9 East, west, south, or north makes little difference. No matter what your destination, just be sure to make every journey a journey within. If you travel within, you’ll travel the whole wide world and beyond. Rule 10 The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth.
Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain. Rule 11 The quest for love changes user. There is no seeker among those who search for love who has not matured on the way.
The moment you start looking for love, you start to change within and without. Rule 12 There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the number of stars in the visible universe. Don’t confuse power-driven, self-centered people with true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself or herself and will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self.
True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the light of God pass through them. Rule 13 Try not to resist the changes, which come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?
Rule 14 God is busy with the completion of your work, both outwardly and inwardly. He is fully occupied with you. Every human being is a work in progress that is slowly but inexorably moving toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work of art both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is fine art of skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture. Rule 15 It’s easy to love a perfect God, unblemished and infallible that He is.
What is far more difficult is to love fellow human being with all their imperfections and defects. Remember, one can only know what one is capable of loving.
There is no wisdom without love. Unless we learn to love God’s creation, we can neither truly love nor truly know God. Rule 16 Real faith is the one inside. The rest simply washes off. There is only one type of dirt that cannot be cleansed with pure water, and that is the stain of hatred and bigotry contaminating the soul. You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart. Rule 17 The whole universe is contained within a single human being-you.
Everything that you see around, including the things that you might not be fond of and even the people you despise or abhor, is present within you in varying degrees. Therefore, do not look for Sheitan outside yourself either. The devil is not an extraordinary force that attacks from without.
It is an ordinary voice within. If you set to know yourself fully, facing with honesty and hardness. Rule 18 If you want to change the ways others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you.
It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses. Rule 19 Fret not where the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step.
That is the hardest part and that is what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will follow. Don’t go with the flow. Be the flow. Rule 20 We were all created in His image, and yet we were each created different and unique. No two people are alike. No hearts beat to the same rhythm. If God had wanted everyone to be the same, He would have made it so. Therefore, disrespecting differences and imposing your thoughts on others is an amount to disrespecting God’s holy scheme.
Rule 21 When a true lover of God goes into a tavern, the tavern becomes his chamber of prayer, but when a wine bibber goes into the same chamber, it becomes his tavern. In everything we do, it is our hearts that make the difference, not our outer appearance.
Sufis do not judge other people on how they look or who they are. When a Sufi stares at someone, he keeps both eyes closed instead opens a third eye – the eye that sees the inner realm. Rule 22 Life is a temporary loan and this world is nothing but a sketchy imitation of Reality. Only children would mistake a toy for the real thing. And yet human beings either become infatuated with the toy or disrespectfully break it and throw it aside.
In this life stay away from all kinds of extremities, for they will destroy your inner balance. Sufis do not go to extremes. A Sufi always remains mild and moderate. Rule 23 The human being has a unique place among God’s creation.
“I breathed into him of My Spirit,” God says. Each and every one of us without exception is designed to be God’s delegate on earth. Ask yourself, just how often do you behave like a delegate, if you ever do so? Remember, it fells upon each of us to discover the divine spirit inside and live by it. Rule 24 Hell is in the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present inside this very moment.
Every time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy or fight someone we tumble straight into the fires of hell. Rule 25 Each and every reader comprehends the Holy Qur’an on a different level of tandem with the depth of his understanding. There are four levels of insight.
The first level is the outer meaning and it is the one that the majority of the people are content with. Next is the Batin – the inner level. Third, there is the inner of the inner. And the fourth level is so deep it cannot be put into words and is therefore bound to remain indescribable. Rule 26 The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation.
Do no harm. Practice compassion. And do not gossip behind anyone’s back – not even a seemingly innocent remark! The words that come out of our mouths do not vanish but are perpetually stored in infinite space and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will hurt us all.
One man’s joy will make everyone smile. Rule 27 Whatever you speak, good or evil, will somehow come back to you. Therefore, if there is someone who harbours ill thoughts about you, saying similarly bad things about him will only make matters worse. You will be locked in a vicious circle of malevolent energy. Instead for forty days and nights say and think nice things about that person.
Everything will be different at the end of 40 days, because you will be different inside. Rule 28 The past is an interpretation. The future is on illusion. The world does not more through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead time moves through and within us, in endless spirals.
Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness. If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment.
Rule 29 Destiny doesn’t mean that your life has been strictly predetermined. Therefore, to live everything to the fate and to not actively contribute to the music of the universe is a sign of sheer ignorance.
The music of the universe is all pervading and it is composed on 40 different levels. Your destiny is the level where you play your tune. You might not change your instrument but how well to play is entirely in your hands. Rule 30 The true Sufi is such that even when he is unjustly accused, attacked and condemned from all sides, he patiently endures, uttering not a sing bad word about any of his critics.
A Sufi never apportions blame. How can there be opponents or rivals or even “others” when there is no “self” in the first place? How can there be anyone to blame when there is only One?
Rule 31 If you want to strengthen your faith, you will need to soften inside. For your faith to be rock solid, your heart needs to be as soft as a feather. Through an illness, accident, loss or fright, one way or another, we are all faced with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgmental and more compassionate and generous. Yet some of us learn the lesson and manage to become milder, while some others end up becoming even harsher than before… Rule 32 Nothing should stand between you and God.
No imams, priests, rabbits or any other custodians of moral or religious leadership. Not spiritual masters and not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules, but never lord them over others.
If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of idolatry, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guide.
Learn the Truth, my friend, but be careful not to make a fetish out of your truths. Rule 33 While everyone in this world strives to get somewhere and become someone, only to leave it all behind after death, you aim for the supreme stage of nothingness.
Live this life as light and empty as the number zero. We are no different from a pot. It is not the decorations outside but the emptiness inside that holds us straight. Just like that, it is not what we aspire to achieve but the consciousness of nothingness that keeps us going. Rule 34 Submission does not mean being weak or passive. It leads to neither fatalism nor capitulation. Just the opposite. True power resides in submission a power that comes within.
Those who submit to the divine essence of life will live in unperturbed tranquillity and peace even the whole wide world goes through turbulence after turbulence.
Rule 35 In this world, it is not similarities or regularities that take us a step forward, but blunt opposites. And all the opposites in the universe are present within each and every one of us. Therefore the believer needs to meet the unbeliever residing within. And the nonbeliever should get to know the silent faithful in him. Until the day one reaches the stage of Insane-I Kamil, the perfect human being, faith is a gradual process and one that necessitates its seeming opposite: disbelief.
Rule 36 This world is erected upon the principle of reciprocity. Neither a drop of kindness nor a speck of evil will remain unreciprocated. For not the plots, deceptions, or tricks of other people. If somebody is setting a trap, remember, so is God. He is the biggest plotter. Not even a leaf stirs outside God’s knowledge. Simply and fully believe in that. Whatever God does, He does it beautifully.
Rule 37 God is a meticulous dock maker. So precise is His order that everything on earth happens in its own time.
Neither a minute late nor a minute early. And for everyone without exception, the clock works accurately. For each there is a time to love and a time to die.
Rule 38 It is never too late to ask yourself, “Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?” Even if a single day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity.
At every moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed and renewed again. There is only one-way to be born into a new life: to die before death. Rule 39 While the part change, the whole always remains the same.
For every thief who departs this world, a new one is born. And every descent person who passes away is replaced by a new one. In this way not only does nothing remain the same but also nothing ever really changes. For every Sufi who dies, another is born somewhere. Rule 40 A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western.
Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire! The universe turns differently when fire loves water. Reference: The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak Rule number 17 is, in my opnion, not complete and one word (set) has to be replaced by “get”. This is the last part of the rule: If you get to know yourself fully, facing with honesty and hardness both your dark and bright sides, you will arrive as a supreme form of consciousness.
When a person knows himself or herself, he or she knows God. Oh yay! Thank you for doing me this HUGE favour! 🙂 I’m halfway through Elif Shafak’s novel and loving it as it keeps opening new doors within. I was highlighting the rules as I read along untill I realized I was highlight a lot other beautiful text besides the rules. But this, this golden, thank you! Much love and light to you It happens to flash here along the cloudy edge.
Providing with shower beside the nurturing catchment a stimulus to sprout. As stretched to fetch, even, through the farthest tip couldn’t touch. Wilted just near the shore brim but not to pale for that of small vessel floating amidst the vast shoreless ocean breeze.
Given the explosion in dating apps—and cultural phenomena such as the #metoo movement—the rules of courtship today are changing in real time. And if you’re over 40 and re-entering the dating pool after a long absence, you might find the new reality jarring—and that many of the things once considered “romantic” are now seen as “creepy.” To make sure that doesn’t happen to you, here we’ve compiled all of the wildly dated and totally old-fashioned dating rules that once were great but today you should avoid at all costs.
So read on—and happy dating! And to learn all of the seemingly dated but still relevant rules of courtship, check out . It’s Helpful to Play Hard to Get Back in the day, women were taught that if they really wanted to hook a man’s attention, they should turn down his first few attempts to secure a date in order to make the man feel victorious when he finally gets a “yes.” But this is actually terrible advice, because it makes it seem like courtship is a battlefield in which men are knights and women are conquests, and sends men mixed signals about whether or not “no” actually means “no.” And for more on this, learn .
If She’s Not Interested, Try Harder Just as women were taught to be coy, men were taught that if a woman turns you down, you should just try harder to woo her affection. It’s worth noting—again—that if a woman turns you down, you should just accept the rejection and move on. And if a woman does later tell you that you should have just “tried harder,” feel free to remind her that it’s 2018. Men Need to Always Make the First Move Not only is it no longer taboo for women to ask a man out or send the first text, but there are also a lot of men (especially those on dating apps like Bumble) who actually prefer it when a woman takes initiative.
And it’s not just Millennials who feel this way either. And for more on this, see how this . Dating Apps Are for Losers Who Can’t Find Love There are a lot of ways in which the apps have made the dating landscape more challenging, .
But there’s also research to indicate that it’s been beneficial to people in older age groups, who might not be as comfortable scouting for a partner in a bar or nightclub as they were when they were 25.
Either way, we’ve come a long way from the days when it was so embarrassing to have a Match.com account, and there’s certainly no stigma to meeting someone on the Internet. Give it a try! And for the best options, check out . The Man Should Pay the Bill In 2018, it’s customary to go dutch.
In fact, some women today may insist on splitting things evenly, because allowing a man to pay makes them feel like he’s expecting something more. Now, let’s be clear: there’s nothing wrong with being old-school, and some women think it’s a nice gesture when a guy does pick up the bill, so there’s no harm in offering to pay.
Just be mindful of your date’s reaction and comfort levels. My tip: If you’re a man, offer to pay, but say say, “You can get the next one,” which serves three purposes: you feel like a gentleman, you’re indicating that there will be date two, and she won’t feel like you’re simply angling for a one-night-stand. And for more great dating advice, check out the And Presents Giving someone a thoughtful gift (i.e. a book that they said they had been interested in reading), once you’ve been seeing each other for a while can be really nice, but, unfortunately, doing so really early on can scare someone off and make them feel like you’re trying to move way too fast.
Women Shouldn’t Be Opinionated Our grandmothers taught us that women are natural nurturers who need to always be caring and accommodating and cater to her man’s needs. That means that many women are still hesitant to be too opinionated or assertive for fear of seeming “difficult” or “too demanding,” which is a sexist double standard we need to leave behind.
Guys: encourage her to speak her mind. Gals: speak your mind! You Have to Wait Until the Third Date to Have Sex Sure, it’s always prudent to wait and have sex and follow biological anthropologist Helen Fisher’s phrase,”fast sex, slow love.” But know that many long-lasting relationships have sprung out of a heated first date.
And if you’re after 40, you’re and adult and you know what you want—and you’re many years removed from any social stigmas of high school. Being Territorial Is Normal If someone starts flirting with the person you’re dating, it’s natural to feel jealous or threatened, and it’s better to have a conversation about it than to bottle those feelings up and have them boil over later.
But it’s really unattractive to throw a hissy fit about it and act like the person is your possession. Telling a Woman “I Can’t Believe You’re Still Single” Is Flattering This is one of those statements that sounds like a compliment but actually isn’t, because you’re mainly implying that her life isn’t whole.
What if she doesn’t want a boyfriend yet? What if she’s picky? There’s nothing wrong with being a strong single person. And, yes, for the record: it’s definitely one of .
You Know Right Away If Someone Is “Marriage Material” The phrase “marriage material” in itself makes you sound like you stepped out of a time machine, and it problematically implies that some women aren’t worth settling down with for various (usually) sexist reasons.
The reality is that we’re all just flawed human beings trying to find someone who can stand us. It’s Smart to Play Mind Games Remember the golden rule of dating: If the relationship ever devolves into gamesmanship, everyone loses. Be honest, be kind, and be confident—and everything else will work out. Promise! To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life, to sign up for our FREE daily newsletter!