Why Is Dating Important? By: Jessica Reed - Updated April 27, 2015. In the past, arranged marriages were common, and families chose the appropriate husbands or wives for their children. As years passed, society has moved away from the arranged marriage concept to dating Dating may better prepare couples to make informed choices about long-term relationships and marriage. Dating allows people to learn about each other. Meet Singles in your Area! Try Match.com!. Life goals may not seem important at the start of a relationship, but soon the couple should know what each person wants. Both short-term and long-term goals matter. For the short term, couples will want to know if both people want an exclusive relationship or if one prefers an open relationship.
Men can afford to buy gifts if they think about it I can hear those guys sighing in the back, over there. They’ve always known it. Forget to get the lady a gift on the ‘anniversary of the day you first noticed me’ and they’re cooked. But They Cost Money! Guys are so hooked up on money and not wanting to spend to receive.
When it comes to gifts, you've got salary sacrifice options, you can put a little away each week or simply look for low budget gifts from markets – there isn't any excuse for not being able to afford a gift!
If you want to know just how important gifts are in a relationship, take a poll of the millions of twenty and thirty-something, long suffering guys. They know all about it. 1. You Just Can’t Win Otherwise There are days that make a person . Only thing is, with the fair sex, there are many days that make them feel special. There are anniversaries of when the two of you met, when you first kissed and when you two started going steady.
The ladies have this fantastic ability to . Don’t ask me how they do it. On that day, when you’re all tired and fuzzy (and your memory’s done a bunk), their eyes will check for a bulge in your shirt pocket.
A gift, you think? Of course a gift! What else? 2. A Gift Helps Clear Up Jealous Fits If you’re savvy like me, you’ll visit one of those discount thrift stores and buy some pretty things in advance. Buy them, get them gift wrapped and stock up, guys. I am telling you, this strategy never fails. The day you know she’s going to throw a jealous fit coz some friend of hers saw you with an old flame, whip out a pre-bought, pre-parcelled gift and the game’s yours. Store your gifts for her away from gifts for men you know; don’t mix them up, or your goose is well and truly cooked!
3. It’s Just The Thing When You Cannot Explain Just like a picture is worth a thousand words, a gift is worth a thousand explanations that could go wrong from the first word. Just shut up, and present something with a flourish. Add some goofy, romantic bit about how much you missed her. Tell her you’re sorry about whatever it was but thoughts of her keep distracting you.
When you’ve done something that just cannot be explained, let the gift do the talking for you. It’s just a small thing, but a gift bears a powerful message, and speaks so much better than you ever can. 4. A Gift Increases Your Reputation This one is real important, so listen up.
From the moment you start dating seriously, your social reputation is out of your hands. Why, you wonder? Stop wondering, I’ll tell you. Women talk. They share every itty bitty thing with their gal pals and the gals then tell their boyfriends everything.
Even the mafia is not as well linked as the female ladies room network (yes, that’s where most of the ‘do you know’ gossiping happens). What are the odds that your boss hears of your latest escapade before you’ve had time to think it over? Trust me, a gift now and then ‘just like that’ will keep you in everyone’s good books, jerk or not.
After all, how wrong can you or your intentions be, if you keep spending on her? And could you possibly be the insensitive kind, if you are always ready to make up in the sweetest way, memento in tow? 5. Gifts Can Get You Entry Into Privy Networks A hushed word here and a hushed word there – that’s all it takes. All of a sudden, doors open, parents are happy with you, and you get introduced to their peers. Then follow the invites to golf parties, to family events, clubs – hell, maybe even a great job recommendation!
It’s not without perks, my brothers. Keep the gifts coming. Just don’t make it look orchestrated or unnatural. 6. Gifts Can Make You Hard To Replace It’s not just the gifting that does the trick. You have to put in some real effort here. Remember the ‘special anniversaries’, track her PMS days and gift something on odd days just to cheer her up.
Make sure you don’t run out of gift ideas; observing your girl and watching what she wears, eats and watches should give you enough ideas. You don’t have to blow money on each gift, just make sure it sends out the right message. You’ll be real hard to replace, man.
7. Gifts Make Moving On That Much Easier Your girlfriend’s girlfriends know you to be the gifting kind (the very best kind). Their boyfriends’ sisters know it, and so do their boyfriends and so on. Honestly, pretty much the entire county knows it and so do the moms of all the pretty girls around. So if you girlfriend does drop you, no issues. You can easily get dates. Your reputation is already high; you’re desirable, man! That’s the way to go! Express Your Thoughts Yes or No? Do or Don't?
What do you think of gift giving? I don’t particularly like this article either. It makes women sound like grubbing little brats that can be bought with a bauble. If someone was giving me gifts repeatedly at ‘just the right time’ I would be creeped out and suspicious of their motivations. This kind of ‘gift giving’ is only meant to keep a person out of the dog house and save bacon when they screw up not a true extension of love and thoughtfulness.
Its does not feel as though it is genuine or even well thought out. “Stock up … keep her gifts separate from what you give the guys… always have something ready… all the mothers of all the pretty girls know your reputation”???
A) She’s going to find those gifts at the worst possible moment and then you are REALLY going to be in trouble. B) You give your male friends gifts on a regular basis? I don’t know any men that give their friends arbitrary gifts… C) The MOTHERS know?
Is this guy that gives the right gift every few weeks living in Mayberry? This article does not cast men in a very nice light either! Men may not remember every ‘first day we kissed’ stupid anniversaries but it does not necessarily mean that they are screwing up all the time and need to placate their significant other in order to not get ‘cooked’.
At least some men are not one dimensional robots who have to ‘make a reputation’ so they can get dates if their fickle, bauble driven, unreasonable, gift-grubbing partners decide to dump them. Men that have something to offer to a quality person do not have to worry about ‘winning’ the situation with a gift that has been hidden so long that he actually forgot what it was because his collection of prewrapped stuff is so large.
Guys: if you mess up just apologize…if your significant other is worth it, they do not need a gift every time you turn around.
Relax. Girls: Your partner is a human being with frailties. Accept them as they are and you will be happy. • This article makes a lot of generalizations about women (“the fair sex” ugh) and proposes that a good way to get them to like you is to spend money. It’s dismissive of women’s emotional concerns (jealousy fits?) and gives no real advice beyond “give gifts”. I love gifts – giving them and getting them – and I think they have a really significant place in relationships.
I don’t think this article addresses that. • I don’t know what it is about this article that doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t think there is anything offensive in there as it was previously mentioned but I just didn’t have a moment when I thought, ‘That’s a great one!’ As always, this is said with all due respect I just found this post missed the mark a little for me. Anita. x • Aloha Anita, Actually, I’ve disabled the Keyword Name ability across the site altogether.
Google will have severely penalised you due to identical Keyword Spam and that’s a nasty thing to happen to your site. Apologies if that change has inconvenienced you in any way.
The best option is the CommentLuv backlink • Cool article, love it. It's not disrespectful to women at all – if you listen to any of my mates talking, this is how exactly they express their feelings about gifting!
And let's face it, ultimately, we love the girls and if a gift can keep them smiling and loving, I say pile on the gifts. All in the spirit of love, of course. • Nice blog post, Tania.
I enjoyed reading as well as gaining an additional insight or two. It's funny but from my male brain, the article's tone almost verges on how to go about tricking women to like you by buying them gifts. I know that would be fundemenatally incorrect as I'm sure lots of men and women feel appreciated by a gift. Do all women like receiving gifts though? My recent post • Hello Martin, Thanks for your comment. Gifts are great way to make things better especially if your relationship is in a tough phase.
The articles was not about tricking women but how giving small gifts can make things better to best. And regarding your question- not only women but everyone loves getting gifts. Gifts give the feeling to gift recipient of being valuable. •
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Wondering if arguing is damaging your relationship? Founder of, Dr Neil Clark Warren explains how you can deal with conflict in a positive way and why arguing is often good for your relationship After years of studying couples and their relationships, I’ve come to the conclusion that conflict can be a good thing. Two people, who have grown up in different homes, will have different ways of approaching conflict, but it’s how they manage that conflict that determines the strength of their relationship.
In fact, it can even help strengthen a relationship. Let’s look at it another way. If you don’t have conflict, one of two things are usually occurring: 1. One person has taken charge This can often happen – one person dominates the relationship, and effectively you have two people living one person’s life. But over time, this can cause to the person who is being overruled, and they will usually end up resenting their partner who is in charge.
2. You’re ignoring the problem Some people think that by pretending conflict isn’t there will make it appear as if their relationship is working. I’ve seen these kinds of couples in my office when I was a relationship counsellor – they don’t look at each other, they don’t like each other much, they’re grown apart.
How conflict can be positive Conflict is made positive by being tackled and dealt with properly, bringing couples closer together. It also has a greater effect, in growing the relationship beyond what either partner could ever have imagined.
As a couple, one of the ways you know you’re ready for marriage is by being sure that you can manage conflict together. Couples who say they don’t have conflict in their relationship are probably kidding themselves.
If you genuinely haven’t had it then bear in mind that you will need to be able to within your relationship if you are planning on getting married.
Also remember that respect is the most important factor in a long-lasting and healthy relationship – with respect for each other any couple should be able to overcome conflict.
If you’re dealing with conflict, here is my five step plan to help you turn it into a positive experience: Step 1: Everyone is entitled to their own opinion We all have a right to our own opinions, and every couple should say that to each other.
Write it on a Post-It and stick it somewhere important if you must. They may not match the thoughts and feelings of your partner, but this is the right mindset to tackle any conflict.
Step 2: Everyone has a desperate need to be heard My wife and I used to debate late into the night, each of us alternately putting our points of view across in different ways. Eventually, this would become conflict. But, after a while, one of us would suddenly say, ‘Let me see if I understand your point’, just as we were starting to understand the other’s point of view.
Then everything would be quiet, because we had reached a level of understanding. The point is, we all need to be heard and understood by the person we love most – whatever route we take to get there.
Step 3: Work out where you differ It’s amazing the things that can get dredged up in an , but try to keep it simple. Work out what you actually differ on and stick to the facts.
It’s not helpful to bring other things up (‘Well, last time we talked about my mother said…’) Step 4: Employ a compromise statement This is a statement you say to show you’re ready and willing to compromise in a conflict. For example, my wife has heard me say this many times: ‘Okay now honey, how can I give on this and how can you give on this so that we will be together?’. It might seem a little artificial at first but it means you’re close to a resolution and gives you both a good marker as to where you are in your conflict.
Step 5: When you come to a conclusion, congratulate each other It’s important not only to try and resolve conflict carefully, but to recognise your achievement when you have done so.
By telling your partner how you appreciate they have handled a conflict in a good way (assuming they have) then your relationship can go from strength to strength.
Download this ebook: – and learn how to communicate effectively to save your relationship or marriage. Lack of Effective Communication Causes Unwanted Problems When you have a problem in your relationship that you’ve chosen not to share with your partner, you contribute more towards the problem than you realise.
Marriage and Money A perfect example of this is the concept of marriage and when it should be discussed whilst in a relationship. If you’re stuck in a relationship waiting for your boyfriend to propose to you; you’re going to be waiting for a very long time for something he may not even want. However this problem mainly stems from the social attitude that only men should propose to women and that we as individuals or as a collective, are not Which as you have probably noticed, is a limiting belief.
Effective communication enables you to sort out your problems with ease together, and have fun at the same time. This is because you have someone close to you whilst you’re in need, therefore your problem will be compartmentalised, as you’re sharing the load.
When it comes to you can both offer advice, provide suggestions and bring forward constructive criticism with the intention of Which in this instance, refers to telling your partner some home-truths about his/her spending habits and how it is effecting the relationship. Strengthens The Levels of Trust, Honesty and Respect Learning how to effectively communicate with your partner will strengthen the you have for eachother and the relationship.
• Can you trust your partner if they fail to remain in regular contact with you whenever they say they will? How many times will it take before you raise the issue as a legitimate concern with them? • Being honest with your partner about your weaknesses is a sign of effectively communicating with them as you’re saying “this is who I really am.”, which in turn builds trust.
Communication in a relationship is extremely important because it acts as the judge, jury and executioner who has the final say on whether your relationship lives or dies. Being able to communicate effectively can also which occur regularly in your relationships. Dictates Morale In A Relationship Being able to effectively communicate in a relationship is the perfect way to show your partner how happy you are within it.
Being tight-lipped about a problem will only hurt your relationship and your partner in the long-run. I’ve had direct experience in this area and I’ve learnt so much about myself and how I actually cause some of these problems myself. I might not have been the direct source of the problem, but I do know and accept that I’m certainly a part of it.
“Are you worried about me meeting him?” “No, absolutely not – you can go ahead and do whatever you want.” “Are you sure? I won’t meet him if you don’t want me to.” “No it’s fine honestly! – Go ahead, I’m not going to restrict you, besides he’s just a “friend”. I’m sure you can probably figure out what happened in the following weeks and months.
Always listen to your intuition. Even if it makes you out to be a It’s only trying to protect you anyways. Sometimes we just need to tell people exactly what’s on our mind, exactly how we feel and make it clear as day. Otherwise you’ll just end up in both a metaphorical and literal sense.
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